<\*Af 


V 


SAMANTHA 


AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


BY 


"JOSIAH   ALLEN'S  WIFE" 

(MARIETTA  HOLLEY). 


WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS. 


¥orfc 

FUNK   &   WAGNALLS   COMPANY 

LONDON  AND  TORONTO 

1892 


COPYRIGHT,  1890, 
BY  FUNK  &   WAGNALLS. 

(ALL  RIGHTS  RESERVED.) 
Enteeed  ^.Stationers'  Hal-U  tx>iJdon,  Eng. 


ft*  1*1 


TO 

tD  omen 

WHO  WORK,  TRYING  TO  BRING  INTO  DARK  LIVB8 

THE  BRIGHTNESS  AND  HOPE  OP  A 

BETTER  COUNTRY, 

THIS  BOOK  IS  DEDICATED. 


PREFACE. 


AGAIN  it  come  to  pass,  in  the  fulness  of  time,  that 
my  companion,  Josiah  Allen,  see  me  walk  up  and 
take  my  ink  stand  off  of  the  manteltry  piece,  and 
carry  it  with  a  calm  and  majestick  gait  to  the  cor 
ner  of  the  settin'  room  table  devoted  by  me  to  lit 
erary  pursuits.  And  he  sez  to  me: 

"  What  are  you  goin*  to  tackle  now,  Samantha?" 

And  sez  I,  with  quite  a  good  deal  of  dignity, 
"The  Cause  of  Eternal  Justice,  Josiah  Allen." 

"  Anythin*  else  ?"  sez  he,  lookin'  sort  o'  oneasy 
at  me.  (That  man  realizes  his  shortcoming  I  be 
lieve,  a  good  deal  of  the  time,  he  duz.) 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  "  I  lay  out  in  petickuler  to  tackle  the 
Meetin'  House.  She  is  in  the  wrong  on't,  and  I  want 
to  set  her  right." 

Josiah  looked  sort  o*  relieved  like,  but  he  sez  out, 


Viii  PREFACE. 

in  a  kind  of  a  pert  way,  es  he  set  there  a-shellin' 
corn  for  the  hens: 

"A  Meetin'  House  hadn't  ort  to  be  called  she — it 
is  a  he." 

And  sez  I,  "  How  do  you  know  ?" 

And  he  sez,  "  Because  it  stands  to  reason  it  is. 
And  I'd  like  to  know  what  you  have  got  to  say 
about  him  any  way  ?" 

Sez  I,  "That  'him*  don't  sound  right,  Josiah 
Allen.  It  sounds  more  right  and  nateral  to  call  it 
'she.'  Why,"  sez  I,  "hain't  we  always  hearn  about 
the  Mother  Church,  and  don't  the  Bible  tell  about 
the  Church  bein'  arrayed  like  a  bride  for  her  husband? 
I  never  in  my  life  hearn  it  called  a  'he'  before." 

"Oh,  wall,  there  has  always  got  to  be  a  first 
time.  And  I  say  it  sounds  better.  But  what 
have  you  got  to  say  about  the  Meetin'  House,  any 
way  ?" 

"  I  have  got  this  to  say,  Josiah  Allen.  The  Meet- 
in'  House  hain't  a-actin' right  about  wimmen.  The 
Founder  of  the  Church  wuz  born  of  woman.  It  wuz 
on  a  woman's  heart  that  His  head  wuz  pillowed  first 
and  last.  While  others  slept  she  watched  over  His 
baby  slumbers  and  His  last  sleep.  A  woman  wuz 


PREFACE.  IX 

His  last  thought  and  care.  Before  dawn  she  wuz 
at  the  door  of  the  tomb,  lookin'  for  His  comin'.  So 
she  has  stood  ever  sense — waitin',  watchin',  hopin', 
workin'  for  the  comin'  of  Christ.  Working  waitin' 
for  His  comin'  into  the  hearts  of  tempted  wimmen 
and  tempted  men — fallen  men  and  fallen  wimmen 
— workin',  waitin',  toilin',  nursin'  the  baby  good  in 
the  hearts  of  a  sinful  world — weepin'  pale-faced  over 
its  crucefixion — lookin'  for  its  reserection.  Oh  how 
she  has  worked  all  through  the  ages !" 

"  Oh  shaw  !"  sez  Josiah,  "  some  wimmen  don't  care 
about  anythin'  but  crazy  work  and  back  combs." 

I  felt  took  down,  for  I  had  been  riz  up,  quite 
considerble,  but  I  sez,  reasonable : 

"Yes,  there  are  such  wimmen,  Josiah,  but  think  of 
the  sweet  and  saintly  souls  that  have  given  all  their 
lives,  and  hopes,  and  thoughts  to  the  MeetnV  House 
— think  of  the  throngs  to-day  that  crowd  the  aisles 
of  the  Sanctuary — there  are  five  wimmen  to  one  man, 
I  believe,  in  all  the  meetin'  houses  to-day  a-workin' 
in  His  name.  True  Daughters  of  the  King,  no 
matter  what  their  creed  may  be — Catholic  or 
Protestant. 

"  And  while  wimmen  have  done  all  this  work  for 


X  PREFACE. 

the  Meetin'  House,  the  Meetin'  House  ort  to  be 
honorable  and  do  well  by  her." 

«  Wall,  hain't  he?"  sez  Josiah. 

"  No,  she  hain't,"  sez  I. 

"  Wall,  what  petickuler  fault  do  you  find  ?  What 
has  he  done  lately  to  rile  you  up  ?" 

Sez  I, "  She  wuz  in  the  wrong  on't  in  not  lettin' 
wimmen  set  on  the  Conference." 

"Wail,  I  say  he  wuz  right,"  sez  Josiah.  "He 
knew,  and  I  knew,  that  wimmen  wuzn't  strong 
enough  to  set." 

"Why,"  sez  I,  "  it  don't  take  so  much  strength  to 
set  as  it  duz  to  stand  up.  And  after  workin'  as 
hard  as  wimmen  have  for  the  Meetin'  House,  she 
ort  to  have  the  priveledge  of  settin'.  And  I  am  goin' 
to  write  out  jest  what  I  think  about  it." 

"Wall,"  sez  Josiah,  as  he  started  for  the  barn  with 
the  hen  feed,  "  don't  be  too  severe  with  the  Meetin' 
House." 

And  then,  after  he  went  out,  he  opened  the  door 
agin  and  stuck  his  head  in  and  sez : 

"  Don't  be  too  hard  on  him? 

And  then  he  shet  the  door  quick,  before  I  could 
say  a  word. 


PREFACE.  XI 

But  good  land  !  I  didn't  care.  I  knew  I  could 
say  what  I  wanted  to  with  my  faithful  pen — and  I 
am  bound  to  say  it 

JOSIAH  ALLEN'S  WIFE, 
Bonny  View, 

near  Adams,  New  York. 
Oct.  1 4th,  1890. 


CONTENTS. 


PAGE 

CHAPTER         I i 

CHAPTER        II. 24 

CHAPTER      III. .  48 

CHAPTER       IV.              61 

CHAPTER        V 73 

CHAPTER      VI.              .         , 87 

CHAPTER     VII.          .......  98 

CHAPTER  VIII.              .......  107 

CHAPTER       IX.          .......  122 

CHAPTER         X.              .......  137 

CHAPTER      XI.          •••«...  152 

CHAPTER     XII.              . 162 

CHAPTER  XIII,          ......*  170 

CHAPTER  XIV.              179 

CHAPTER     XV.          .......  196 


xiv  CONTENTS. 

PAGE 

CHAPTER       XVI. 209 

CHAPTER      XVII 224 

CHAPTER    XVIII 237 

CHAPTER        XIX.      .......  249 

CHAPTER         XX. 262 

CHAPTER        XXI 271 

CHAPTER      XXII. 284 

CHAPTER    XXIII.      .         . 300 

CHAPTER     XXIV.          .......  310 

CHAPTER      XXV 335 

CHAPTER    XXVI. 347 

CHAPTER  XXVII 363 

CHAPTER  XXVIII .        .380 

Publishers'  Appendix,           ......  389 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN 


BY  JOSIAH   ALLEN'S   WIFE. 


CHAPTER  I. 

HEN  I  first  heard  that  wimmen 
wuz  goin'  to  make  a  effort  to 
set  on  a  Conference,  it  wuz  on 
a  Wednesday,  as  I  remember 
well.  For  my  companion, 
Josiah  Allen,  had  drove  ovei 

to  Loontown  in  a  Democrat  and  in  a  great  hurry, 

to  meet  two  men  who  wanted  him  to  go  into  a 

speculation  with  'em. 

And   it  wuz  kinder  curious  to    meditate  on    it, 

that    they    wuz    all    deacons,    every    one    on    'em. 

Three  on  'em  wuz  Baptis'es,  and  two  on  'em  had 


2  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

jined  our  meetin'  house,  deacons,  and  the  old  name 
clung  to  'em — we  spoze  because  they  wuz  such 
good,  stiddy  men,  and  looked  up  to. 

Take  'em  all  together  there  wuz  five  deacons. 
The  two  foreign  deacons  from  'way  beyond  Jones- 
villo,  Deacon  Keeler  and  Deacon  Huffer,  and  our 
own  three  Jonesvillians — Deacon  Henzy,  Deacon 
Syphei,  "and  my  own  particular  Deacon,  Josiah 
Allen. 

It  wuz  a  wild  and  hazardous  skeme  that  them 
two  foreign  deacons  wuz  a-proposin',  and  I  wuz 
strongly  in  favor  of  givin'  'em  a  negative  answer ; 
but  Josiah  wuz  fairly  crazy  with  the  idee,  and  so 
wuz  Deacon  Henzy  and  Deacon  Sypher  (their 
wives  told  me  how  they  felt). 

The  idee  was  to  build  a  buzz  saw  mill  on  the 
creek  that  runs  through  Jonesville,  and  have  branches 
of  it  extend  into  Zoar,  Loontown,  and  other  more 
adjacent  townships  (the  same  creek  runs  through 
'em  all). 

As  near  as  I  could  get  it  into  my  head,  there 
wuz  to  be  a  buzz  saw  mill  apiece  for  the  five  dea 
cons — each  one  of  'em  to  overlook  their  own  par 
ticular  buzz  saw — but  the  money  comin'  from  all 


A  WILD   AND   HAZARDOUS   SKEME. 


4  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

on  'em  to  be  divided  up  equal  among  the  five 
deacons. 

They  thought  there  wuz  lots  of  money  in  the 
idee.  But  I  wuz  very  set  against  it  from  the  first. 
It  seemed  to  me  that  to  have  buzz  saws  a-per- 
meatin'  the  atmosphere,  as  you  may  say,  for  so  wide 
a  space,  would  make  too  much  of  a  confusion  and 
noise,  to  say  nothin'  of  the  jarin'  that  would  take 
place  and  ensue.  I  felt  more  and  more,  as  I  medi 
tated  on  the  subject,  that  a  buzz  saw,  although  es 
timable  in  itself,  yet  it  wuz  not  a  spear  in  which  a 
religious  deacon  could  withdraw  from  the  world, 
and  ponder  on  the  great  questions  pertainin'  to  his 
own  and  the  world's  salvation. 

I  felt  it  wuz  not  a  spear  that  he  could  revolve 
round  in  and  keep  that  apartness  from  this  world 
and  nearness  to  the  other,  that  I  felt  that  deacons 
ought  to  cultivate. 

But  my  idees  wuz  frowned  at  by  every  man  in 
Jonesville,  when  I  ventured  to  promulgate  'em. 
They  all  said,  "  The  better  the  man,  the  better  the 
deed." 

They  said,  "  The  better  the  man  wuz,  the  better 
the  buzz  saw  he  would  be  likely  to  run." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  5 

The  fact  wuz,  they  needed  some  buzz  saw  mills 
bad,  and  wuz  very  glad  to  have  these  deacons  lay 
holt  of  'em. 


TALKING  OVER  THE  BUZZ-SAW. 


But  I  threw  out  this  question  at  'em,  and  stood 
by  it — "  If  bein'  set  apart  as  a  deacon  didn't  mean 
anything?  If  there  wuzn't  any  deacon-work  that 


0  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

they  ought  to  be  expected  to  do — and  if  it  wuz 
right  for  'em  to  go  into  any  world's  work  so  wild 
and  hazardous  and  engrossin',  as  this  enterprise  ?" 

And  again  they  sez  to  me  in  stern,  decided 
axents,  "  The  better  the  man,  the  better  the  deed. 
We  need  buzz  saws." 

And  then  they  would  turn  their  backs  to  me  and 
stalk  away  very  high-headed. 

And  I  felt  that  I  wuz  a  gettin'  fearfully  onpopu- 
lar  all  through  Jonesville,  by  my  questions.  I  see 
that  the  hull  community  wuz  so  sot  on  havin'  them 
five  deacons  embark  onto  these  buzz  saws  that 
they  would  not  brook  any  interference,  least  of  all 
from  a  female  woman. 

But  I  had  a  feelin'  that  Josiah  Allen  wuz,  as  you 
may  say,  my  lawful  prey.  I  felt  that  I  had  a  right 
to  question  my  own  pardner  for  the  good  of  his 
own  soul,  and  my  piece  of  mind. 

And  I  sez  to  him  in  solemn  axents: 

"Josiah  Allen,  what  time  will  you  get  when  you 
are  fairly  started  on  your  buzz  saw,  for  domestic 
life,  or  social,  or  for  religious  duties  ?" 

And  Josiah  sez,  "  Dumb  'em  !  I  guess  a  man 
is  a  goin'  to  make  money  when  he  has  got  a  chance." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  / 

And  I  asked  him  plain  if  he  had  got  so  low,  and 
if  I  had  lived  with  him  twenty  years  for  this,  to 
hear  him  in  the  end  dumb  religious  duties. 

And  Josiah  acted  skairt  and  conscience  smut  for 
most  half  a  minute,  and  said,  "  he  didn't  dumb  'em." 

"What  wuz  you  dumbin'?"  sez  I,  coldly. 

"  I  wuz  dumbin'  the  idee,"  sez  he,  "  that  a  man 
can't  make  money  when  he  has  a  chance  to." 

But  I  sez,  a  haulin'  up  this  strong  argument 
agin— 

"  Every  one  of  you  men,  who  are  a  layin'  holt  of 
this  enterprise  and  a-embarkin'  onto  this  buzz  saw 
are  married  men,  and  are  deacons  in  a  meetin'  house. 
Now  this  work  you  are  a-talkin'  of  takin'  up  will 
devour  all  of  your  time,  every  minute  of  it,  that  you 
can  spare  from  your  farms. 

"  And  to  say  nothin'  of  your  wives  and  children 
not  havin'  any  chance  of  havin'  any  comfort  out  of 
your  society.  What  will  become  of  the  interests  of 
Zion  at  home  and  abroad,  of  foreign  and  do 
mestic  missions,  prayer  meetings,  missionary  soci 
eties,  temperance  meetin's  and  good  works  gener 
ally?" 

And  then  again  I  thought,  and  it  don't  seem  as 


8 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


if  I   can   be   mistaken,   I  most  know  that  I  heerd 
fosiah  Allen  mutter  in  a  low  voice, 
''  Dumb  good  works !" 


"  I    HEERD   JOSIAH   MUTTER,    '  DUMB   GOOD   WORKS  !'  " 

But  I  wouldn't  want  this  told  of,  for  I  may  be 
mistook.  I  didn't  fairly  ketch  the  words,  and  I 
spoke  out  agin,  in  dretful  meanin'  and  harrowin' 
axents,  and  sez, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  9 

"  What  will  become  of  all  this  gospel  work  ?" 

And  Josiah  had  by  this  time  got  over  his  skare 
and  conscience  smite  (men  can't  keep  smut  for 
more'n  several  minutes  anyway,  their  consciences 
are  so  elastic ;  good  land  !  rubber  cord  can't  com 
pare  with  'em),  and  he  had  collected  his  mind  all 
together,  and  he  spoke  out  low  and  clear,  and  in  a 
tone  as  if  he  wuz  fairly  surprised  I  should  make  the 
remark : 

"  Why,  the  gospel  work  will  get  along  jest  as  it 
always  has,  the  wimmen  will  'tend  to  it." 

And  I  own  I  was  kinder  lost  and  by  the  side  of 
myself  when  I  asked  the  question — and  very  anxious 
to  break  up  the  enterprise  or  I  shouldn't  have  put  the 
question  to  him. 

For  I  well  knew  jest  as  he  did  that  wimmen  wuz 
most  always  the  ones  to  go  ahead  in  church  and 
charitable  enterprises.  And  especially  now,  for  there 
wuz  a  hardness  arozen  amongst  the  male  men  of  the 
meetin'  house,  and  they  wouldn't  do  a  thing  they 
could  help  (but  of  this  more  anon  and  bimeby). 

There  wuz  two  or  three  old  males  in  the  meetin' 
house,  too  old  to  get  mad  and  excited  easy,  that  held 
firm,  and  two  very  pious  old  male  brothers,  but 


10  SAMANTIIA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

poor,  very  poor,  had  to  be  supported  by  the  meetin' 
house,  and  lame.  They  stood  firm,  or  as  firm  as 
they  could  on  such  legs  as  theirs  wuz,  inflammatory 
rheumatiz  and  white  swellin's  and  such. 

But  all  the  rest  had  got  their  feelin's  hurt,  and  got 
mad,  etc.,  and  wouldn't  do  a  thing  to  help  the  meetin' 
house  along. 

Well,  I  tried  every  lawful,  and  mebby  a  little  on- 
lawful  way  to  break  this  enterprise  of  theirs  up — 
and,  as  I  heern  afterwards,  so  did  Sister  Henzy. 

Sister  Sypher  is  so  wrapped  up  in  Deacon  Sypher 
that  she  would  embrace  a  buzz  saw  mill  or  any  other 
enterprise- he  could  bring  to  bear  onto  her. 

"  She  would  be  perfectly  willin'  to  be  trompled 
on,"  so  she  often  sez,  "  if  Deacon  Sypher  wuz  to 
do  the  tromplin'." 

Some  sez  he  duz. 

Wall,  in  spite  of  all  my  efforts,  and  in  spite  of  all 
Sister  Henzy's  efforts,  our  deacons  seemed  to  jest 
flourish  on  this  skeme  of  theirn.  And  when  we  see 
it  wuz  goin'  to  be  a  sure  thing,  even  Sister  Sypher 
begin  to  feel  bad. 

She  told  Albina  Widrig,  and  Albina  told  Miss 
Henn,  and  Miss  Henn  told  me,  that  "  what  to  do 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  II 

she  didn't  know,  it  would  deprive  her  of  so  much 
of  the  deacon's  society."  It  wuz  goin'  to  devour  so 
much  of  his  time  that  she  wuz  afraid  she  couldn't 
stand  it.  She  told  Albina  in  confidence  (and  Albina 
wouldn't  want  it  told  of,  nor  Miss  Henn,  nor  I 
wouldn't)  that  she  had  often  been  obleeged  to  go 
out  into  the  lot  between  breakfast  and  dinner  to  see 
the  deacon,  not  bein'  able  to  stand  it  without  lookin' 
on  his  face  till  dinner  time. 

And  when  she  was  laid  up  with  a  lame  foot  it  wuz 
known  that  the  deacon  left  his  plowin'  and  went  up 
to  the  house,  or  as  fur  as  the  door  step,  four  or  five 
times  in  the  course  of  a  mornin's  work,  it  wuz 
spozed  because  she  wuz  fearful  of  forgettin'  how  he 
looked  before  noon. 

She  is  a  dretful  admirin'  woman. 

She  acts  dretful  reverential  and  admirin'  towards 
men — always  calls  her  husband  "  the  Deacon,"  as  if 
he  was  the  one  lonely  deacon  who  was  perambu- 
latin'  the  globe  at  this  present  time.  And  it  is 
spozed  that  when  she  dreams  about  him  she  dreams 
of  him  as  "the  Deacon,"  and  not  as  Samuel  (his 
given  name  is  Samuel). 

But  we    don't  know   that  for  certain.     We  only 


"  THE  INITIALS   STOOD   FOR   '  MlSS   DEACON   SYPHER.' 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  13 

spoze  it.  For  the  land  of  dreams  is  a  place  where 
you  can't  slip  on  your  sun-bonnet  and  foller  neigh 
bor  wimmen  to  see  what  they  are  a-doin'  or  what 
they  are  a-sayin'  from  hour  to  hour. 

No,  the  best  calculator  on  gettin'  neighborhood 
news  can't  even  look  into  that  land,  much  less  foller 
a  neighborin'  female  into  it. 

No,  their  barks  have  got  to  be  moored  outside  of 
them  mysterious  shores. 

But,  as  I  said,  this  had  been  spozen. 

But  it  is  known  from  actual  eyesight  that  she 
marks  all  her  sheets,  and  napkins,  and  piller-cases, 
and  such,  "  M.  D.  S."  And  I  asked  her  one  day 
what  the  M.  stood  for,  for  I  'spozed,  of  course,  the 
D.  S.  stood  for  Drusilla  Sypher. 

And  she  told  me  with  a  real  lot  of  dignity  that 
the  initials  stood  for  "Miss  Deacon  Sypher." 

Wall,  the  Jonesville  men  have  been  in  the  habit 
of  holdin'  her  up  as  a  pattern  to  their  wives  for 
some  time,  and  the  Jonesville  wimmen  hain't  hated 
her  so  bad  as  you  would  spoze  they  all  would  under 
the  circumstances,  on  account,  we  all  think,  of  her 
bein'  such  a  good-hearted  little  creeter.  We  all 
like  Drusilly  and  can't  help  it 


14  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

Wall,  even  she  felt  bad  and  deprested  on  account 
of  her  Deacon's  goin'  into  the  buzz  saw-mill  busi 
ness. 

But  she  didn't  say  nothing  only  wept  out  at 
one  side,  and  wiped  up  every  time  he  came  in 
sight. 

They  say  that  she  hain't  never  failed  once  of 
a-smilin'  on  the  Deacon  every  time  he  came  home. 
And  once  or  twice  he  has  got  as  mad  as  a  hen  at 
her  for  smilin'.  Once,  when  he  came  home  with  a 
sore  thumb — he  had  jest  smashed  it  in  the  barn 
door — and  she  stood  a-smilin'  at  him  on  the  door 
step,  there  are  them  that  say  the  Deacon  called  her 
a  "infernal  fool." 

But  I  never  have  believed  it.  I  don't  believe  he 
would  demean  himself  so  low. 

But  he  yelled  out  awful  at  her,  I  do  'spoze,  for  his 
pain  wuz  intense,  and  she  stood  stun  still,  a-smilin' 
at  him,  jest  accordin'  to  the  story  books.  And  he 
sez : 

"  Stand  there  like  a fool,  will  you  !  Get  me  a 

rag  /" 

I  guess  he  did  say  as  much  as  that. 

But  they  say  she  kept  on  a-smilin'  for  some  time 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  15 

— couldn't  seem  to   stop,  she  had  got  so  hardened 
into  that  way. 

And  once,  when  her  face  wuz  all  swelled  up  with 
the  toothache,  she   smiled  at   him  accordin'  to  rule 


"ONCE,  WHEN   HER   FACE    WUZ   ALL    SWELLED    UP,    SHE    SMILED    AT   HIM." 

when  he  got  home,  and  they  say  the  effect  wuz 
fearful,  both  on  her  looks  and  the  Deacon's  acts. 
They  say  he  was  mad  again,  and  called  her  some 
names. 


l6  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

But  as  a  general  thing  they  get  along  first  rate 
guess,  or  as  well  as  married  folks  in  general,  and  *&i 
makes  a  good  deal  of  her. 

I  guess  they  get  along  without  any  more  than 
the  usual  amount  of  difficulties  between  husbands 
and  wives,  and  mebby  with  less.  I  know  this,  any 
way,  that  she  just  about  worships  the  Deacon. 

Wall,  as  I  say,  it  was  the  very  day  that  these 
three  deacons  went  to  Loontown  to  meet  Deacon 
Keeler  and  Deacon  Huffer,  to  have  a  conference  to 
gether  as  to  the  interests  of  the  buzz  saw  mill  that 
I  first  heard  the  news  that  wimmen  wuz  goin'  to 
make  a  effort  to  set  on  the  Methodist  Conference, 
and  the  way  I  heerd  on't  wuz  as  follows: 

Josiah  Allen  brought  home  to  me  that  night  a 
paper  that  one  of  the  foreign  deacons,  Deacon 
Keeler,  had  lent  him.  It  contained  a  article  that 
wuz  wrote  by  Deacon  Keeler's  son,  Casper  Keeler 
— a  witherin'  article  about  wimmen's  settin'  on  the 
Conference.  It  made  all  sorts  of  fun  of  the  pro- 
jeck. 

We  found  out  afterwards  that  Casper  Keeler  fur 
nished  nearly  all  the  capital  for  the  buzz  saw  mill 
enterprise  at  his  father's  urgent  request. 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  I/ 

|  His  father,  Deacon  Keeler,  didn't  have  a  cent  of 
.aoney  of  his  own;  it  fell  onto  Casper  from  his 
mother  and  aunt.  They  had  kept  a  big  millinery 
store  in  the  town  of  Lyme,  and  a  branch  store  in 
Loontown,  and  wuz  great  workers,  and  had  laid  up 
a  big  property.  And  when  they  died,  the  aunt,  bein' 
a  maiden  woman  at  the  time,  the  money  naturally 
fell  onto  Casper.  He  wuz  a  only  child,  and  they 
had  brung  him  up  tender,  and  fairly  worshipped 
him. 

They  left  him  all  the  money,  but  left  a  anuety  to 
be  paid  yearly  to  his  father,  Deacon  Keeler,  enough 
to  support  him. 

The  Deacon  and  his  wife  had  always  lived  happy 
together — she  loved  to  work,  and  he  loved  to  have 
her  work,  so  they  had  similar  tastes,  and  wuz  very 
congenial — and  when  she  died  he  had  the  widest 
crape  on  his  hat  that  wuz  ever  seen  in  the  town  of 
Lyme.  (The  crape  was  some  she  had  left  in  the 
shop.) 

He  mourned  deep,  both  in  his  crape  and  his 
feelin's,  there  hain't  a  doubt  of  that. 

Wall,  Miss  Keelerses  will  provided  money  special 
for  Casper  to  be  educated  high.  So  he  went  to 


1 8  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

school  and  to  college,  from  the  time  he  was  born, 
almost.  So  he  knew  plenty  of  big  words,  and  used 
'em  fairly  lavish  in  this  piece.  There  wuz  words  in 
it  of  from  six  to  seven  syllables.  Why,  I  hadn't  no 
idee  till  I  see  'em  with  my  own  eye,  that  there  wuz 
any  such  words  in  the  English  language,  and  words 
of  from  four  to  six  syllables  wuz  common  in  it. 

His  father,  Deacon  Keeler,  wouldn't  give  the 
paper  to  my  companion,  he  thought  so  much  of  it, 
but  he  offered  to  lend  it  to  him,  because  he  said  he 
felt  that  the  idees  it  promulgated  wuz  so  sound  and 
deep  they  ought  to  be  disseminated  abroad. 

The  idees  wuz,  "  that  wiinmen  hadn't  no  business 
to  set  on  the  Conference.  She  wuz  too  weak  to 
set  on  it.  It  wuz  too  high  a  place  for  her  too  ven- 
tur'  on,  or  to  set  on  with  any  ease.  There  wuzn't 
no  more  than  room  up  there  for  what  men  would 
love  to  set  on  it.  Wimmen's  place  wuz  in  the 
sacred  precinks  of  home.  She  wuz  a  tender,  fragile 
plant,  that  needed  guardin'  and  guidin'  and  kep  by 
man's  great  strength  and  tender  care  from  havin' 
any  cares  and  labors  whatsoever  and  wheresoever 
and  howsumever." 

Josiah  said  it  wuz  a  masterly  dockument.     And 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  19 

it  wuz  writ  well.  It  painted  in  wild,  glarin'  colors 
the  fear  that  men  had  that  wimmen  would  strain 
themselves  to  do  anything  at  all  in  the  line  of  work 
—or  would  weaken  her  hull  constitution,  and  lame 
her  moral  faculties,  and  ruin  herself  by  tryin'  to  set 
up  on  a  Conference,  or  any  other  high  and  tottlin' 
eminence. 

The  piece  wuz  divided  into  three  different  parts, 
with  a  headin'  in  big  letters  over  each  one. 

The  first  wuz,  wimmen  to  have  no  labors  and 
cares  WHATSOEVER; 

Secondly,  NONE  WHERESOEVER; 

Thirdly,  NONE  HOWSUMEVER. 

The  writer  then  proceeded  to  say  that  he  would 
show  first,  what  cares  and  labors  men  wuz  willin' 
and  anxious  to  wardoffen  women.  And  he  proved 
right  out  in  the  end  that  there  wuzn't  a  thing  that 
they  wanted  wimmen  to  do — not  a  single  thing. 

Then  he  proceeded  to  tell  where  men  wuz  willin' 
to  keep  their  labors  and  cares  offen  wimmen.  And 
he  proved  it  right  out  that  it  wuz  every  where.  In 
the  home,  the  little  sheltered,  love-guarded  home  of 
the  farmer,  the  mechanic  and  the  artizen  (makin' 
special  mention  of  the  buzz  sawyers).  And  also  in 


2O  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

the  palace  walls  and  the  throne.  There  and  ever) 
where  men  would  fain  shelter  wimmen  from  every 
care,  and  every  labor,  even  the  lightest  and  slight 
est. 

Then  lastly  came  the  howsumcver.  He  pro 
ceeded  to  show  how  this  could  be  done.  And  he 
proved  it  right  out  (or  thought  he  did)  that  the 
first  great  requisit'  to  accomplish  all  this,  wuz  to 
keep  wimmen  in  her  place.  Keep  her  from  settin' 
on  the  Conference,  and  all  other  tottlin'  eminences, 
fitted  only  for  man's  stalwart  strength. 

And  the  end  of  the  article  wuz  so  sort  of  tragick 
and  skairful  that  Josiah  wept  when  he  read  it.  He 
pictured  it  out  in  such  strong  colors,  the  danger 
there  wuz  of  puttin'  wimmen,  or  allowin'  her  to  put 
herself  in  such  a  high  and  percipitous  place,  such  a 
skairful  and  dangerous  posture  as  settin'  up  on  a 
Conference. 

"  To  have  her  set  up  on  it,"  sez  the  writer,  in 
conclusion,  "  would  endanger  her  life,  her  spiritual, 
her  mental  and  her  moral  growth.  It  would  shake 
the  permanency  of  the  sacred  home  relations  to  its 
downfall.  It  would  hasten  anarchy,  and  he  thought 


sizm." 


"  JOSIAH   WEPT   WHEN   HE   READ   IT. 


22  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

Why,  Josiah  Allen  handled  that  paper  as  it  it 
wuz  pure  gold.  I  know  he  asked  me  anxiously  as 
he  handed  it  to  me  to  read, "  if  my  hands  wuz  per 
fectly  clean,"  and  we  had  some  words  about  it. 

And  till  he  could  pass  it  on  to  Deacon  Sypher  to 
read  he  kep  it  in  the  Bible.  He  put  it  right  over  in 
Galatians,  for  I  looked  to  see — Second  Galatians. 

And  he  wrapped  it  up  in  a  soft  handkerchief 
when  he  carried  it  over  to  Deacon  Sypherses.  And 
Deacon  Sypher  treasured  it  like  a  pearl  of  great 
price  (so  I  spoze)  till  he  could  pass  it  on  to  Deacon 
Henzy. 

And  Deacon  Henzy  was  to  carry  it  with  care  to 
a  old  male  Deacon  in  Zoar,  bed  rid. 

Wall,  as  I  say,  that  is  the  very  first  I  had  read 
about  their  bein'  any  idee  promulgated  of  wimmens 
settin'  up  on  the  Conference. 

And  I,  in  spite  of  Josiah  Allen's  excitement,  wuz 
in  favor  on't  from  the  very  first. 

Yes,  I  wuz  awfully  in  favor  of  it,  and  all  I  went 
through  durin'  the  next  and  ensuin'  weeks  didn't 
put  the  idee  out  of  my  head.  No,  far  from  it.  It 
seemed  as  if  the  severer  my  sufferin's  wuz,  the  much 
more  this  idee  flourished  in  my  soul.  Just  as  a 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  23 

heavy  plow  will  meller  up  the  soil  so  white  lilies  can 
take  root,  or  any  other  kind  of  sweet  posies. 

And  oh  !  my  heart !  wuz  not  my  sufferin's  with 
Lodema  Trumhle,  a  hard  plow  and  a  harrowin'  one, 
and  one  that  turned  up  deep  furrows  ? 

But  of  this,  more  anon  and  bimeby. 


CHAPTER  II. 


ALL,  it  wuz  on  the  very  next 
day — on  a  Thursday  as  I  re 
member  well,  for  I  wuz  a-think- 
in'  why  didn't  Lodema's  letter 
come  the  next  day — Fridays 
bein'  considered  onlucky — and 
it  being  a  day  for  punishments,  hangin's,  and  so 
forth. 

But  it  didn't,  it  came  on  a  Thursday.  And  my 
companion  had  been  to  Jonesville  and  brung  me 
back  two  letters ;  he  brung  'em  in,  leavin'  the  old 
mair  standin'  at  the  gate,  and  handed  me  the  letters, 
ten  pounds  of  granulated  sugar,  a  pound  of  tea,  and 
the  request  I  should  have  supper  on  the  table  by 
the  time  that  he  got  back  from  Deacon  Henzy's. 

(On  that  old  buzz-saw  business  agin,  so  I  spozed, 
but  wouldn't  ask.) 

Wall,  I  told  him  supper  wuz  begun  any  way,  and 
he  had  better  hurry  back.  But  he  wuz  belated  by 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  25 

reason  of  Deacon  Henzy's  bein'  away,  so  I  set  there 
for  some  time  alone. 

Wall,  I  wuz  goin'  to  have  some  scolloped  oysters 
for  supper,  so  the  first  thing  I  did  wuz  to  put  'em 
into  the  oven — they  wuz  all  ready,  I  had  scolloped 
'em  before  Josiah  come,  and  got  'em  all  ready  for 
the  oven — and  then  I  set  down  and  read  my 
letters. 

Wall,  the  first  one  I  opened  wuz  from  Lodema 
Trumble,  Josiah's  cousin  on  his  own  side.  And 
her  letter  brought  the  sad  and  harrowin'  intelligence 
that  she  was  a-comin'  to  make  us  a  good  long  visit. 
The  letter  had  been  delayed.  She  was  a-comin' 
that'  very  night,  or  the  next  day.  Wall,  I  sithed 
deep.  I  love  company  dearly,  but — oh  my  soul,  is 
there  not  a  difference,  a  difference  in  visitors  ? 

Wall,  suffice'it  to  say,  I  sithed  deep,  and  opened 
the  other  letter,  thinkin'-  it  would  kind  o'  take  my 
mind  off. 

And  for  all  the  world !  I  couldn't  hardly  believe 
my  eyes.  But  it  wuz  !  It  wuz  from  Serena  Fogg. 
It  wuz  from  the  Authoress  of  "Wedlock's  Peaceful 
Repose." 

I  hadn't  heard  a  word  from  her  for  upwards  of 


26  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

four  years.  And  the  letter  brung  me  startlin'  in 
telligence. 

It  opened  with  the  unexpected  information  that 
she  wuz  married.  She  had  been  married  three 
years  and  a  half  to  a  butcher  out  to  the  Ohio. 

And  I  declare  my  first  thought  wuz  as  I  read  it, 
"  Wall,  she  has  wrote  dretful  flowery  on  wedlock, 
and  its  perfect,  on  broken  calm,  and  peaceful  repose, 
and  now  she  has  had  a  realizin'  sense  of  what  it 
really  is." 

But  when  I  read  a  little  further,  I  see  what  the 
letter  wuz  writ  for.  I  see  why,  at  this  late  day,  she 
had  started  up  and  writ  me  a  letter.  I  see  it  wuz 
writ  on  duty. 

She  said  she  had  found  out  that  I  wuz  in  the 
right  on't  and  she  wuzn't.  She  said  that  when  in 
the  past  she  had  disputed  me  right  up  and  down, 
and  insisted  that  wedlock  wuz  a  state  of  perfect 
serenity,  never  broken  in  upon  by  any  cares  or 
vexations  whatsomever,  she  wuz  in  the  wrong  on't. 

She  said  she  had  insisted  that  when  anybody  had 
moored  their  barks  into  that  haven  of  wedded  life, 
that  they  wuz  forever  safe  from  any  rude  buffetin's 
from  the  world's  waves ;  that  they  wuz  exempt 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  2/ 

from  any  toil,  any  danger,  any  sorrow,  any  trials 
whatsomever.  And  she  had  found  she  was  mistook. 

She  said  I  told  her  it  wuz  a  first-rate  state,  and 
a  satisfactory  one  for  wimmen  ;  but  still  it  had  its 
trials,  and  she  had  found  it  so.  She  said  that  I 
insisted  its  serenity  wuz  sometimes  broken  in  upon, 
and  she  had  found  it  so.  The  last  day  at  my  house 
had  tottled  her  faith,  and  her  own  married  experi 
ence  had  finished  the  work.  Her  husband  wuz  a 
worthy  man,  and  she  almost  worshipped  him.  But 
he  had  a  temper,  and  he  raved  round  considerable 
when  meals  wuzn't  ready  on  time,  and  she  havin' 
had  two  pairs  of  twins  durin'  her  union  (she  comes 
from  a  family  on  her  mother's  side,  so  I  had  hearn 
before,  where  twins  wuz  contagious),  she  couldn't 
always  be  on  the  exact  minute.  She  had  to  work 
awful  hard  ;  this  broke  in  on  her  serenity. 

Her  husband  devotedly  loved  her,  so  she  said ; 
but  still,  she  said,  his  bootjack  had  been  throwed 
voyalent  where  corns  wuz  hit  onexpected. 

Their  souls  wuz  mated  firm  as  they  could  be  in 
deathless  ties  of  affection  and  confidence,  yet  doors 
had  been  slammed  and  oaths  emitted,  when  clothin' 
rent  and  buttons  tarried  not  with  him. 


FOUR    TWINS   BROKE   IN   ALSO    ON    HER    WAVELESS   CALM.' 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  29 

Strange  actions  and  demeanors  had  been  dis 
played  in  hours  of  high-headedness  and  impatience, 
which  had  skaired  her  almost  to  death  before 
gettin'  accustomed  to  'em. 

The  four  twins  broke  in  also  on  her  waveless 
calm.  They  wuz  lovely  cherubs,  and  the  four  apples 
of  her  eyes.  But  they  did  yell  at  times,  they 
kicked,  they  tore  round  and  acted ;  they  made 
work — lots  of  work.  And  one  out  of  each  pair 
snored.  It  broke  up  each  span,  as  you  may  say. 
The  snorin'  filled  each  room  devoted  to  'em. 

He  snored,  loud.  A  good  man  and  a  noble 
man  he  wuz,  so  she  repeated  it,  but  she  found  out 
too  late — too  late,  that  he  snored.  The  house  wuz 
small ;  she  could  not  escape  from  snores,  turn  she 
where  she  would.  She  got  tired  out  with  her  work 
days,  and  couldn't  rest  nights.  Her  husband,  as  he 
wuz  doin'  such  a  flourishin'  business,  had  opened  a 
cattle-yard  near  the  house.  She  wuz  proud  of  his 
grovvin'  trade,  but  the  bellerin'  of  the  cattle  dis 
turbed  her  fearfully.  Also  the  calves  bleating  and 
the  lambs  callin'  on  their  dams. 

It  wuz  a  long  letter,  filled  with  words  like  these, 
and  it  ended  up  by  saying  that  for  years  now  she 


30  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

had  wanted   to  write  and  tell  me  that  I  had  been 
in  the  right  on't  and  she  in  the  wrong.     I  had  been 


THE  LECTURE. 

inegum  and  she  .hadn't.     And  she  ended  by  sayin', 
"  God  bless  me  and  adoo." 

The  fire  crackled  softly  on  the  clean  hearth. 
The  teakettle  sung  a  song  of  welcome  and  cheer. 
The  oysters  sent  out  an  agreeable  atmosphere. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  31 

The  snowy  table,  set  out  in  pretty  china  and  glass 
ware,  looked  invitin',  and  I  set  there  comfortable 
and  happy  and  so  peaceful  in  my  frame,  that  the 
events  of  the  past,  in  which  Serena  Fogg  had  flour 
ished,  seemed  but  a:s  yesterday. 

I  thought  it  all  over,  that  pleasant  evenin'  in  the 
past,  when  Josiah  Allen  had  come  in  unexpected, 
and  brung  the  intelligence  to  me  that  there  wuz 
goin'  to  be  a  lectur'  give  that  evenin'  by  a  young 
female  at  the  Jonesville  school-house,  and  beset  me 
to  go. 

And  I  give  my  consent.  Then  my  mind  trav 
elled  down  that  pleasant  road,  moongilded,  to  the 
school-house.  It  stopped  on  the  door-step  while 
Josiah  hitched  the  mair. 

We  found  the  school-house  crowded  full,  fur  a 
female  lecturer  wuz  a  rarity,  and  she  wuz  a  pretty 
girl,  as  pretty  a  girl  as  I  ever  see  in  my  life. 

And  it  wuz  a  pretty  lecture,  too,  dretful  pretty. 
The  name  of  the  lecture  wuz,  "  Wedlock's  Peaceful 
and  Perfect  Repose." 

A  pretty  name,  I  think,  and  it  wuz  a  beautiful 
lecture,  very,  and  extremely  flowery.  It  affected 
some  of  the  hearers  awfully ;  they  wuz  all  carried 


32  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

away  with  it.  Josiah  Allen  wept  like  a  child  durin' 
the  rehearsin'  of  it.  I  myself  didn't  weep,  but  I 
enjoyed  it,  some  of  it,  first  rate. 

I  can't  begin  to  tell  it  all  as  she  did,  'specially 
after  this  length  of  time,  in  such  a  lovely,  flowery 
way,  but  I  can  probably  give  a  fe\v  of  the  heads 
of  it. 

It  hain't  no  ways  likely  that  I  can  give  the  heads 
half  the  stylish,  eloquent  look  that  she  did  as  she 
held  .'em  up,  but  I  can  jest  give  the  bare  heads. 

She  said  that  there  had  been  a  effort  made  in 
some  directions  to  try  to  speak  against  the  holy 
state  of  matrimony.  The  papers  had  been  full  of 
the  subject,  "Is  Marriage  a  Failure,  or  is  it  not  ?" 

She  had  even  read  these  dreadful  words — "  Mar 
riage  is  a  Failure."  She  hated  these  words,  she  de 
spised  'em.  And  while  some  wicked  people  spoke 
against  this  holy  institution,  she  felt  it  to  be  her 
duty,  as  well  as  privilege,  to  speak  in  its  praise. 

I  liked  it  first  rate,  I  can  tell  you,  when  she  went 
on  like  that.  For  no  living  soul  can  uphold  mar- 
riagg  with  a  better  grace  that  can  she  whose  name 
vuz  once  Smith. 

I  love  Josiah  Allen,  J  am  flad  that  I  married  him. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  33 

But  at  the  same  time,  my  almost  devoted  love 
doesn't  make  me  blind.  I  can  see  on  every  side 
of  a  subject,  and  although,  as  I  said  heretofore,  and 
prior,  I  love  Josiah  Allen,  I  also  love  megumness, 
and  I  could  not  fully  agree  with  every  word  she 
said. 

But  she  went  on  perfectly  beautiful — I  didn't 
wonder  it  brought  the  school-house  down — about 
the  holy  calm  and  perfect  rest  of  marriage,  and  how 
that  calm  wuz  never  invaded  by  any  rude  cares. 

How  man  watched  over  the  woman  he  loved; 
how  he  shielded  her  from  every  rude  care  ;  kept  labor 
and  sorrow  far,  far  from  her;  how  woman's  life  wuz 
like  a  oneasy,  roarin',  rushin'  river,  that  swept  along 
discontented  and  onsatisfied,  moanin'  and  lonesome, 
until  it  swept  into  the  calm  sea  of  Repose — melted 
into  union  with  the  grand  ocian  of  Rest,  marriage. 

And  then,  oh!  how  calm  and  holy  and  sheltered 
wuz  that  state !  How  peaceful,  how  onruffled  by 
any  rude  changes!  Happiness,  Peace,  Calm!  Oh, 
how  sweet,  how  deep  wuz  the  ocian  of  True  Love 
in  which  happy,  united  souls  bathed  in  blissful  re 
pose  ! 

It  was   dretful  pretty  talk,  and  middlin'  affectin'. 


HE   HAD   ON   A   NEW   VEST.' 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  35 

There  wasn't  a  dry  eye  in  Josiah  Allen's  head,  arid  I 
didn't  make  no  objection  to  his  givin'  vent  to  his 
feelin's,  only  when  I  see  him  bust  out  a-weepin'  I 
jest  slipped  my  pocket-handkerchief  'round  his 
neck  and  pinned  it  behind.  (His  handkerchief  wuz 
in  constant  use,  a  cryin'  and  weepin'  as  he  wuz.) 
And  I  knew  that  salt  water  spots  black  satin  awfully. 
He  had  on  a  new  vest. 

Submit  Tewksbury  cried  and  wept,  and  wept  and 
cried,  caused  by  remembrances,  it  wuz  spozed.  Of 
which,  more  anon,  and  bimeby. 

And  Drusilly  Sypher,  Deacon  Sypherses  wife,  al 
most  had  a  spazzum,  caused  by  admiration  and  bein' 
so  highly  tickled. 

I  myself  didn't  shed  any  tears,  as  I  have  said  here 
tofore.  And  what  kep'  me  calmer  wuz,  I  knew,  I 
knew  from  the  bottom  of  my  heart,  that  she  went 
too  fur,  she  wuzn't  megum  enough. 

And  then  she  went  on  to  draw  up  metafors,  and 
haul  in  illustrations,  comparin'  married  life  and  sin 
gle — jest  as  likely  metafors  as  I  ever  see,  and  as 
good  illustrations  as  wuz  ever  brung  up,  only  they 
every  one  of  'em  had  this  fault — when  she  got  to 
in'  'em,  she  drawed  'em  too  fur.  And  though 


36  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

she  brought  the  school-house  down,  she  didn't  con 
vince  me. 

Once  she  compared   single  life  to  a  lonely  goose 
travellin'  alone  acrost  the  country,  'cross  lots,  lone- 


>7 


"  I  MYSELF  DIDN'T  SHED  ANY  TEARS." 

some  and  despairin',  travellin'  along  over  a  thorny 
way,  and  desolate,  weighed  down  by  melancholy  and 
gloomy  forebodin's,  and  takin'  a  occasional  rest  by 
standin'  up  on  one  cold  foot  and  puttin'  its  weery 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  37 

head  under  its  wing,  with  one  round  eye  lookin'  out 
for  dangers  that  menaced  it,  arid  lookin',  also,  per 
haps,  for  a  possible  mate,  for  the  comin'  gander — 
restless,  wobblin',  oneasy,  miserable. 

Why,  she  brought  the  school-house  down,  and  got 
the  audience  all  wrought  up  with  pity,  and  sympathy. 
Oh,  how  Submit  Tewksbury  did  weep  ;  she  wept 
aloud  (she  had  been  disappointed,  but  of  this  more 
bimeby). 

And  then  she  went  on  and  compared  that  lone 
some  voyager  to  two  blissful  wedded  ones.  A  pair 
of  white  swans  floatin'  down  the  waveless  calm, 
bathed  in  silvery  light,  floatin'  down  a  shinin' stream 
that  wuz  never  broken  by  rough  waves,  bathed  in  a 
sunshine  that  wuz  never  darkened  by  a  cloud. 

And  then  she  went  on  to  bring  up  lots  of  other 
things  to  compare  the  two  states  to — flowery  things 
and  sweet,  and  eloquent. 

She  compared  single  life  to  quantities  of  things, 
strange,  weird,  melancholy  things,  and  curius.  Why, 
they  wuz  so  powerful  that  every  one  of  'em  brought 
the  school-house  down. 

And  then  she  compared  married  life  to  two  apple 
blossoms  hangin'  together  on  one  leafy  bough  on 


38  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

the  perfumed  June  air,  floatin'  back  and  forth  under 
the  peaceful  benediction  of  summer  skies. 

And  she  compared  it  to  two  white  lambs  gambo- 
lin'  on  the  velvety  hill-side.  To  two  strains  of  music 
meltin'  into  one  dulcet  harmony,  perfect,  divine  har 
mony,  with  no  discordant  notes. 

Josiah  hunched  me,  he  wanted  me  to  cry  there, 
at  that  place,  but  I  wouldn't.  He  did,  he  cried  like 
an  infant  babe,  and  I  looked  close  and  searchin'  to 
see  if  my  handkerchief  covered  up  all  his  vest. 

He  didn't  seem  to  take  no  notice  of  his  clothes  at 
all,  he  wuz  a-weepin'  so — why,  the  whole  school- 
house  wept,  wept  like  a  babe. 

But  I  didn't.  I  see  it  wuz  a  eloquent  and  pow 
erful  effort.  I  see  it  was  beautiful  as  anything 
could  be,  but  it  lacked  that  one  thing  I  have  men 
tioned  prior  and  before  this  time.  It  lacked  me- 
gumness. 

I  knew  they  wuz  all  impressive  and  beautful  illus 
trations,  I  couldn't  deny  it,  and  I  didn't  want  to 
deny  it.  But  I  knew  in  my  heart  that  the  lonely 
goose  that  she  had  talked  so  eloquent  about,  I  knew 
that  though  its  path  might  be  tegus  the  most  of  the 
time,  yet  occasionally  it  stepped  upon  velvet  grass 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  39 

and  blossomin'  daisies.  And  though  the  happy 
wedded  swans  floated  considerable  easy  a  good  deal 
of  the  time,  yet  occasionally  they  had  their  wings 
rumpled  by  storms,  thunder  storms,  sudden  squalls, 
and  et  cetery,  et  cetery. 

And  I  knew  the  divine  harmony  of  wedded  love, 
though  it  is  the  sweetest  that  earth  affords,  I  knew 
that,  and  my  Josiah  knew  it — the  very  sweetest  and 
happiest  strains  that  earthly  lips  can  sing. 

Yet  I  knew  that  it  wuz  both  heavenly  sweet,  and 
divinely  sad,  blended  discord  and  harmony.  '  I  knew 
there  wuz  minor  chords  in  it,  as  well  as  major,  I 
knew  that  we  must  await  love's  full  harmony  in 
heaven.  There  shall  we  sing  it  with  the  pure  mel 
ody  of  the  immortals,  my  Josiah  and  me.  But  I 
am  a  eppisodin',  and  to  continue  and  resoom. 

Wall,  we  wuz  invited  to  meet  the  young  female 
after  the  lecture  wuz  over,  to  be  introduced  to  her 
and  talk  it  over. 

She  wuz  the  Methodist  minister's  wive's  cousin, 
and  the  minister's  wife  told  me  she  wuz  dretful 
anxious  to  get  my  opinion  on  the  lecture.  I  spoze 
she  wanted  to  get  the  opinion  of  one  of  the  first 
wimmen  of  the  day.  For  though  I  am  fur  from 


40  SAMANTHA  AMONr;  Tin-:   BRETHREN: 

hcin'  the  one  that  ort  to  mention  it,  I  have  heard 
of  such  things  bein'  said  about  me  all  round  Jones- 
ville,  and  as  far  as  Loontown  and  Shackville.  And 
so,  I  spozc,  she  wanted  to  get  hold  of  my  opinion. 

Wall,  I  wuz  introduced  to  her,  and  I  shook 
hands  with  her,  and  kissed  her  on  both  cheeks,  for 
she  is  a  sweet  girl  and  I  liked  her  looks. 

I  could  see  that  she  was  very,  VERY  sentimental, 
but  she  had  a  sweet,  confidin',  innocent  look  to 
her,  and  I  give  her  a  good  kissin'  and  I  meant  it. 
When  I  like  a  person,  I  do  like  'em,  and  visy-vcr- 
sey. 

But  at  the  same  time  my  likin'  for  a  person 
mustn't  be  strong  enough  to  overthrow  my  prin 
ciples.  And  when  she  asked  me  in  her  sweet  axents, 
"  How  I  liked  her  lecture,  and  if  I  could  see  any 
faults  in  it  ?"  I  leaned  up  against  Duty,  and  told 
her,  "  I  liked  it  first-rate,  but  I  couldn't  agree  with 
every  word  of  it." 

Here  Josiah  Allen  give  me  a  look  sharp  enough 
to  take  my  head  clear  off,  if  looks  could  behead 
anybody.  But  they  can't. 

And  I  kept  right  on,  calm  and  serene,  and  sez  I, 
"  It  wux  very  full  of  beautiful  idecs,  as  full  of  'em 


SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  4! 

as  a  rose-bush  is  full  of  sweetness  in  June,  but," 
says  I,  "if  I  speak  at  all  I  must  tell  the  truth,  and 
I  must  say  that  while  your  lecture  is  as  sweet  and 
beautiful  a  effort  as  I  ever  see  taekled,  full  of  beau 
tiful  thoughts,  and  eloquence,  still  I  must  say  that 
in  my  opinion  it  lacked  one  thing,  it  wuzn't  mean 
enough." 

"Mean  enough?"  sez  she.  "  What  do  you 
mean  ?" 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  I  mean,  mean  temperature,  you 
know,  middleinness,  megumness,  and  whatever  you 
may  call  it ;  you  go  too  fur." 

She  said  with  a  modest  look  "  that  she  guessed 
she  didn't,  she  guessed  she  didn't  go  too  far." 

And  Josiah  Allen  spoke  up,  cross  as  a  bear,  and, 
sez  he,  "  I  know  she  didn't.  She  didn't  say  a  word 
that  wuzn't  gospel  truth." 

Sez  I,  "Married  life  is  the  happiest  life  in  my 
opinion ;  that  is,  when  it  is  happy.  Some  hain't 
happy,  but  at  the  same  time  the  happiest  of  'em 
hain't  all  happiness." 

"  It  is,"  sez  Josiah  (cross  and  surly),  "  it  is, 
too." 

And  Serena  Fogg  said,  gently,  that  she  thought  I 


"  YOU   GO   TOO   FUR. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  43 

wuz  mistaken,  "  she  thought  it  wuz."  And  Josiah 
jined  right  in  with  her  and  said: 

11  He  knew  it  wuz,  and  he  would  take  his  oath 
to  it." 

But  I  went  right  on,  and,  sez  I,  "  Mebby  it  is  in 
one  sense  the  most  peaceful ;  that  is,  when  the 
affections  are  firm  set  and  stabled  it  makes  'em 
more  peaceful  than  when  they  are  a-traipsin'  round 
and  a-wanderin'.  But,"  sez  I,  "  marriage  hain't  all 
peace." 

Sez  Josiah  :  "  It  is,  and  I'll  swear  to  it." 

Sez  I,  goin'  right  on,  cool  and  serene,  "  The 
sunshine  of  true  love  gilds  the  pathway  with  the 
brightest  radiance  we  know  anything  about,  but  it 
hain't  all  radiance." 

"  Yes,  it  is,"  sez  Josiah,  firmly,  "  it  is,  every  mite 
of  it." 

And  Serena  Fogg  sez,  tenderly  and  amiably, 
"Yes,  I  think  Mr.  Allen  is  right ;  I  think  it 
is." 

''Wall,"  sez  I,  in  meanin'  axcents,  awful 
meanin',  "  when  you  are  married  you  will  change 
your  opinion,  you  mark  my  word." 

And  she  said,  gently,  but  persistently,  "  That  she 


44  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

guessed  she  shouldn't ;  she  guessed  she  was  in  the 
right  of  it." 

Sez  I,  "You  think  when  anybody  is  married 
they  have  got  heyend  all  earthly  trials,  and  nothin' 
but  perfect  peace  and  rest  remains  ?" 

And  she  sez,  gently,  "  Yes,  mem!" 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  (<  I  am  married,  and  have  been  for 
upwards  of  twenty  years,  and  I  think  I  ought  to 
know  somethin'  about  it ;  and  how  can  it  be  called 
a  state  of  perfect  rest,  when  some  days  I  have  to 
pass  through  as  many  changes  as  a  comet,  and 
each  change  a  tegus  one.  I  have  to  wabble  round 
and  be  a  little  of  everything,  and  change  sudden, 
too. 

"  I  have  to  be  a  cook,  a  step-mother,  a  house 
maid,  a  church  woman,  a  wet  nurse  (lots  of  times 
I  have  to  wade  out  in  the  damp  grass  to  take  care 
of  wet  chickens  and  goslins).  I  have  to  be  a  tai- 
loress,  a  dairy-maid,  a  literary  soarer,  a  visitor,  a 
fruit-canner,  a  adviser,  a  soother,  a  dressmaker,  a 
hostess,  a  milliner,  a  gardener,  a  painter,  a  surgeon, 
a  doctor,  a  carpenter,  a  woman,  and  more'n  forty 
other  things. 

"  Marriage    is   a  first-rate  state,  and   agreeable  a 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  4^ 

good  deal  of  the  time ;  but  it  haint  a  state  of  per 
fect  peace  and  rest,  and  you'll  find  out  it  haint  if 
you  are  ever  married." 

But  Miss  Fogg  said,  mildly,  "  that  she  thought  I 
wuz  mistaken — she  thought  it  wuz." 

"  You  do  ?"  sez  I. 

"  Yes,  mem,"  sez  she. 

I  got  up,  and  sez  I,  "  Come,  Josiah,  I  guess  we 
had  better  be  a-goinV  I  thought  it  wouldn't  do 
no  good  to  argue  any  more  with  her,  and  Josiah 
started  off  after  the  mair.  He  had  hitched  it  on 
the  barn  floor. 

She  didn't  seem  willin'  to  have  me  go ;  she 
seemed  to  cling  to  me.  She  seemed  to  be  a  good, 
affectionate  little  creetur.  And  she  said  she  would 
give  anything  almost  if  she  could  rehearse  the  hull 
lecture  over  to  me,  and  have  me  criticise  it.  Sez 
she: 

"  I  have  heard  so  much  about  you,  and  what  a 
happy  home  you  have." 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  "  it  is  as  happy  as  the  average  of 
happy  homes,  any  way." 

And  sez  she,  "  I  have  heard  that  you  and  your 
husband  wuz  just  devoted  to  each  other." 


46  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

And  I  told  her  "  that  our  love  for  each  other 
vvuz  like  two  rocks  that  couldn't  be  moved." 

And  she  said,  "  On  these  very  accounts  she  fairly 
hankered  after  my  advice  and  criticism.  She  said 
she  hadn't  never  lived  in  any  house  where  there 
vvuz  a  livin'  man,  her  father  havin'  died  several 
months  before  she  was  born  ;  and  she  hadn't  had 
the  experience  that  I  had,  and  she  presumed  that 
I  could  give  her  several  little  idees  that  she  hadn't 
thought  on." 

And  I  told  her  calmly  "that  I  presumed  I 
could." 

It  seemed  that  her  father  died  two  months  after 
marriage,  right  in  the  midst  of  the  mellow  light  of 
the  honeymoon,  before  he  had  had  time  to  drop 
the  exstatic  sweetness  of  courtship  and  'newly-mar 
ried  bliss  and  come  down  into  the  ordinary,  every 
day,  good  and  bad  demeanors  of  men. 

And  she  had  always  lived  with  her  mother  (who 
naturally  worshipped  and  mentally  knelt  before  the 
memory  of  her  lost  husband)  and  three  sentimental 
maiden  aunts.  And  they  had  drawed  all  their 
knowledge  of  manhood  from  Moore's  poems  and 
Solomon's  Songs.  So  Serena  Fogg's  idees  of  men 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN.  47 

and  married  life  vvuz  about  as  thin  and  as  well 
suited  to  stand  the  wear  and  tear  of  actual  expe 
rience  as  a  gauze  dress  would  be  to  face  a  Green 
land  winter  in. 

And  so,  after  considerable  urgin*  on  her  part  (for 
I  kinder  hung  back  and  hated  to  tackle  the  job,  but 
not  knowin'  but  that  it  wuz  duty's  call),  I  finally 
consented,  and  it  wuz  arranged  this  way : 

She  wuz  to  come  down  to  our  house  some  day, 
early  in  the  mornin',  and  stay  all  day,  and  she  wuz 
to  stand  up  in  front  of  me  and  rehearse  the  lecture 
over  to  me,  and  I  wuz  to  set  and  hear  it,  and 
when  she  came  to  a  place  where  I  didn't  agree  with 
her  I  wuz  to  lift  up  my  right  hand  and  she  wuz  to 
stop  rehearsin',  and  we  wuz  to  argue  with  each 
other  back  and  forth  and  try  to  convince  each 
other. 

And  when  we  got  it  all  arranged  Josiah  and  I  set 
out  for  home,  I  calm  in  my  frame,  though  dreadin* 
the  job  some. 


CHAPTER  III. 

UT  Josiah  Allen  wuz  jest  crazy 
over  that  lecture — crazy  as  a 
loon.  He  raved  about  it  all 
the  way  home,  and  he  would 
repeat  over  lots  of  it  to  me. 
About  "  how  a  man's  love  was 
the  firm  anchor  that  held  a 
woman's  happiness  stiddy ;  how  his  calm  and 
peaceful  influence  held  her  mind  in  a  serene  calm 
— a  waveless  repose ;  how  tender  men  wuz  of  the 
fair  sect,  how  they  watched  over  'em  and  held  'em 
in  their  hearts." 

"  Oh,"  sez  he,  "  it  went  beyond  anything  I  ever 
heard  of.  I  always  knew  that  men  wuz  good  and 
pious,  but  I  never  realized  how  dumb  pious  they 
wuz  till  to-night." 

"  She  said,"  sez  I,  in  considerable  dry  axents — not 
so  dry  as  I  keep  by  me,  but  pretty  dry — "  No  true 
man  would  let  a  woman  perform  any  manuel  labor." 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  49 

"  Wall,  he  won't  There  ain't  no  need  of  your 
iiftin'  your  little  finger  in  emanuel  labor." 

"  Manuel,  Josiah." 

"  Wall,  I  said  so,  didn't  I  ?  Hain't  I  always 
uoldin'  you  back  from  work  ?" 

"Yes,"  sez  I.  "You  often  speak  of  it,  Josiah. 
You.  are  as  good,"  sez  I,  firmly,  "  full  as  good  a*s  the 
common  run  of  men,  and  I  think  a  little  better. 
But  there  are  things  that  have  to  be  done.  A  mar 
ried  woman  that  has  a  house  and  family  to  see  to 
and  don't  keep  a  hired  girl,  can't  get  along  without 
some  work  and  care." 

"  Wall  I  say,"  sez  he,  "  that  there  hain't  no  need 
of  you  havin'  a  care,  not  a  single  care.  Not  as  long 
as  I  live — if  it  wuzn't  for  me,  you  might  have  some 
cares,  and  most  probable  would,  but  not  while  I 
live." 

I  didn't  say  nothin'  back,  for  I  don't  want  to  hurt 
his  feelin's,  and  won't,  not  if  I  can  help  it.  And  he 
broke  out  again  anon,  or  nearly  anon — 

"  Oh,  what  a  lecture  that  wuz.  Did  you  notice 
when  she  wuz  goin'  on  perfectly  beautiful,  about  the 
waveless  sea  of  married  life — did  you  notice  how  it 
took  the  school  house  down  ?  And  I  wuz  perfectly 


"OH,    WHAT  A   LECTURE  THAT  WUZ.  * 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  5  I 

mortified  to  see  you  didn't  weep  or  even  clap  your 
hands." 

"Wall,"  sez  I,  firmly,  "when  I  weep  or  when  I 
clap,  I  weep  and  clap  on  the  side  of  truth.  And  I 
can't  see  things  as  she  duz.  I  have  been  a-sailin'  on 
that  sea  she  depictured  for  over  twenty  years,  and 
have  never  wanted  to  leave  it  for  any  other  waters. 
But,  as  I  told  her,  and  tell  you  now,  it  hain't  always 
a  smooth  sea,  it  has  its  ups  and  downs,  jest  like  any 
other  human  states." 

Sez  I,  soarin'  up  a  very  little  ways,  not  fur,  for  it 
wuz  too  cold,  and  I  was  too  tired,  "  There  hain't 
but  one  sea,  Josiah  Allen,  that  is  calm  forever,  and 
one  day  we  will  float  upon  it,  you  and  me.  It  is 
the  sea  by  which  angels  walk  and  look  down  into 
its  crystal  depths,  and  behold  their  blessed  faces.  It 
is  the  sea  on  whose  banks  the  fadeless  lilies  blow — 
and  that  mirrors  the  soft,  cloudless  sky  of  the 
Happy  Morning.  It  is  the  sea  of  Eternal  Repose, 
that  rude  blasts  can  never  blow  \ip  into  billows. 
But  our  sea — the  sea  of  married  life — is  not  like 
that,  it  is  ofttimes  billowy  and  rough." 

"  I  say  it  hain't,"  sez  he,  for  he  was  jest  carried 
away  with  the  lecture,  and  enthused. 


52  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

"We  have  had  a  happy  time  together,  Josiah 
Allen,  for  over  twenty  years,  but  has  our  sea  of  life 
always  been  perfectly  smooth  ?" 

"  Yes,  it  has  ;  smooth  as  glass." 

"  Hain't  there  never  been  a  cloud  in  our  sky  ?" 

"  No,  there  hain't;  not  a  dumb  cloud." 

Sez  I,  sternly,  "  There  has  in  mine.  Your  wick 
ed  and  profane  swearin'  has  cast  many  and  many 
a  cloud  over  my  sky,  and  I'd  try  to  curb  in  my 
tongue  if  I  was  in  your  place." 

"'Dumb'  hain't  swearin',"  sez  he.  And  then  he 
didn't  say  nothin'  more  till  anon,  or  nearly  at  that 
time,  he  broke  out  agin,  and  sez  he  : 

"  Never,  never  did  I  hear  or  see  such  eloquence 
till  to-night.  I'll  have  that  girl  down  to  our  house 
to  stay  a  week,  if  I'm  a  living  Josiah  Allen." 

"All  right,"  sez  I,  cheerfully.  "  I'd  love  to  have 
her  stay  a  week  or  ten  days,  and  I'll  invite  her,  too, 
when  she  comes  down  to  rehearse  her  lecture." 

Wall  we  got  home  middlin'  tired,  and  the  subject 
kinder  dropped  down,  and  Josiah  had  lots  of  work 
come  on  the  next  day,  and  so  did  I,  and  company. 
And  it  run  along  for  over  a  week  before  she  come. 
And  when  she  did  come,  it  wuz  in  a  dreadful  bad 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  53 

time.  It  seems  as  if  she  couldn't  have  come  in  a 
much  worse  time. 

It  wuz  early  one  mornin',  not  more  than  nine 
o'clock,  if  it  wuz  that.  There  had  come  on  a  cold 
snap  of  weather  unexpected,  and  Josiah  wuz  a- 
bringin'  in  the  cook  stove  from  the  summer  kitchen, 
when  she  come. 

Josiah  Allen  is  a  good  man.  He  is  my  choice  out 
of  a  world  full  of  men,  but  I  can't  conceal  it  from 
myself  that  his  words  at  such  a  time  are  always  voy- 
alent,  and  his  demeanor  is  not  the  demeanor  that  I 
would  wish  to  have  showed  off  to  the  public. 

He  wuz  at  the  worst  place,  too.  He  had  got  the 
stove  wedged  into  the  entry-way  door,  and  couldn't 
get  it  either  way.  He  had  acted  awkward  with  it, 
and  I  told  him  so,  and  he  see  it  when  it  wuz  too 
late. 

He  had  got  it  fixed  in  such  a  way  that  he  couldn't 
get  into  the  kitchen  himself  without  gettin'  over  the 
stove,  and  I,  in  the  course  of  duty,  thought  it  wuz 
right  to  tell  him  that  if  he  had  heerd  to  me  he 
wouldn't  have  been  in  such  a  fix.  Oh!  the  voya- 
lence  and  frenzy  of  his  demeanor  as  he  stood  there 
a-hollerin'. 


54  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

I  wuz  out  in  the  wood-house  shed  a-bilin'  my 
cider  apple  sass  in  the  big  cauldron  kettle,  but  I 
heard  the  racket,  and  as  I  come  a-runnin'  in  I 
thought  I  heard  a  little  rappin'  at  the  settin'-room 
door,  but  I  didn't  notice  it  much,  I  wuz  that  agi 
tated  to  see  the  way  the  stove  and  Josiah  wuz  set 
and  wedged  in. 

There  the  stove  wuz,  wedged  firm  into  the  door 
way,  perfectly  sot  there.  There  wuz  sut  all  over  the 
floor,  and  there  stood  Josiah  Allen,  on  the  wood- 
house  side,  with  his  coat  off,  his  shirt  all  covered  with 
black,  and  streaks  of  black  all  over  his  face.  And 
oh  !  how  wild  and  almost  frenzied  his  attitude  wuz, 
as  he  stood  there  as  if  he  couldn't  move  nor  be 
moved  no  more  than  the  stove  could.  And  oh  I 
the  voyalence  of  the  language  he  hurled  at  me 
acrost  that  stove. 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  you  must  come  in  here,  Josiah 
Allen,  and  pull  it  from  this  side." 

And  then  he  hollered  at  me,  and  asked  me  : 

"  How  in  thunder  he  was  a  goin'  to  get  in."  And 
then  he  wanted  to  know  "  if  I  wanted  him  squshed 
into  jelly  by  comin'  in  by  the  side  of  it — or  if  I 
thought  he  wuz  a  crane,  that  he  could  step  over  it. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  55 

or  a  stream  of  water  that  he  could  run  under  it,  or 
what  else  do  you  think?"  He  hollered  wildly. 

11  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  you  hadn't  ort  to  got  it  fixed  in 
that  shape.  I  told  you  what  end  to  move  first,"  sez 
I.  "  You  have  moved  it  in  side-ways.  It  would  go 
in  all  right  if  you  had  started  it  the  other  way." 

"Oh,  yes!  It  would  have  been  all  right.  You 
love  to  see  me,  Samantha,  with  a  stove  in  my  arms. 
You  love  it  dearly.  I  believe  you  would  be  per 
fectly  happy  if  you  could  see  me  a  luggin'  round 
stoves  every  day.  But  I'll  tell  you  one  thing,  if  this 
dumb  stove  is  ever  moved  either  way  out  of  this 
door — if  I  ever  get  it  into  a  room  agin,  it  never  shall 
be  stirred  agin  so  much  as  a  hair's  breadth — not 
while  I  have  got  the  breath  of  life  in  me." 

Sez  I,  (<  Hush  !  I  hear  somebody  a-knockin'  at 
the  door." 

"  I  won't  hush.  It  is  nothin'  but  dumb  foolish 
ness  a  movin'  round  stoves,  and  if  anybody  don't 
believe  it  let  'em  look  at  me — and  let  'em  look  at 
that  stove  set  right  here  in  the  door  as  firm  as  a  rock." 

Sez  I  agin  in  a  whisper,  "  Do  be  still,  and  I'll  let 
'em  in,  I  don't  want  them  to  ketch  you  a  talkin'  so 
and  a-actin'." 


WON'T  YOU  BE  STILL?" 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN-.  57 

"  Wall,  I  want  'em  to  ketch  me,  that  is  jest  what 
I  want  'em  to  do.  If  it  is  a  man  he'll  say  every 
word  I  say  is  Gospel  truth,  and  if  it  is  a  woman  it 
will  make  her  perfectly  happy  to  see  me  a-swelterin' 
in  the  job — seven  times  a  year  do  I  have  to  move 
this  stove  back  and  forth — and  I  say  it  is  high  time 
I  said  a  word.  So  you  can  let  'em  in  just  as  quick 
as  you  are  a  mind  to." 

Sez  I,  a  whisperin'  and  puttin'  my  finger  on  my 
lip: 

"  Won't  you  be  still  ?" 

"  No,  I  won't  be  still !"  he  yelled  out  louder  than 
ever.  "  And  YOU  may  go  through  all  the  motions 
you  want  to*f$i  you  can't  stop  me.  All  you  have 
got  to  do  is  to  walk  round  and  let  folks  in,  happy 
as  a  king.  Nothin'  under  the  heavens  ever  made  a 
woman  so  happy  as  to  have  some  man  a-breakin'  his 
back  a-luggin'  round  a  stove." 

I  see  he  wouldn't  stop,  so  I  had  to  go  and  open 
the  door,  and  there  stood  Serena  Fogg,  there  stood 
the  author  of  "  Wedlock's  Peaceful  Repose."  I  felt 
like  a  fool.  For  I  knew  she  had  heard  every  word, 
I  see  she  had  by  her  looks.  She  looked  skairt,  and 
as  surprised  and  sort  o'  awe-stricken  as  if  she  had 


58  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

seen  a  ghost.  I  took  her  into  the  parlor,  and  took 
her  things,  and  I  excused  myself  by  tellin'  her  that 
I  should  have  to  be  out  in  the  kitchen  a-tendin'  to 
things  for  a  spell,  and  went  back  to  Josiah. 

And  I  whispered  to  him,  sez  I :  "  Miss  Fogg  has 
come,  and  she  has  heard  every  word  you  have  said, 
Josiah  Allen.  And  what  will  "she  think  now  about 
Wedlock's  Peaceful  Repose  ?" 

But  he  had  got  that  wild  and  reckless  in  his  de 
meanor  and  acts,  that  he  went  right  on  with  his 
hollerin',  and,  sez  he,  "  She  won't  find  much  repose 
here  to-day,  and  I'll  tell  her  that.  T^  house  has 
got  to  be  all  tore  to  pieces  to  get  th »  pve  started." 

W^F 

Sez  I,  "  There  won't  be  nothin  to  do  only  to 
take  off  one  side  of  the  door  casin'.  And  I  believe 
it  can  be  done  without  that." 

"  Oh,  you  believe  !  you  believe  !  You'd  better 
take  holt  and  lug  and  lift  for  two  hours  as  I  have, 
and  then  see." 

Sez  I,  "You  hain't  been  here  more'n  ten  min 
utes,  if  you  have  that.  And  there,"  sez  I,  liftin' 
up  one  end  a  little,  "  see  what  anybody  can  do  who 
is  calm.  There  I  have  stirred  it,  and  now  you  can 
move  it  right  along." 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


59 


"  Oh,  you  did  it !     I  moved  it  myself." 
I  didn't  contend,  knowin'  it  wuz  men's  natural 
nater  to  say  that. 

Wall,  at  last  Josiah  got  the  stove   in,  but  then 


"AND   HE  SAID    I    HAD   RUBBED   *EM   OUT." 

the  stove-pipe  wouldn't  go  together,  it  wouldn't 
seem  to  fit.  He  had  marked  the  joints  with  chalk, 
and  the  marks  had  rubbed  off,  and  he  said  I  had 
rubbed  'em  out." 


60  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

I  wuz  just  as  innocent  as  a  babe,  but  I  didn't 
dispute  him  much,  for  I  see  a  little  crack  open  in 
the  parlor  door,  and  I  knew  the  author  of  "  Wed 
lock's  Peaceful  Repose"  was  a-listenin'. 

But  when  he  told  me  for  the  third  time  that  I 
rubbed  'em  out  on  purpose  to  make  him  trouble, 
and  that  I  had  made  a  practice  of  rubbin'  'em  out 
for  years  and  years — why,  then  I  had  to  correct  him 
on  the  subject,  and  we  had  a  little  dialogue. 

I  spoze  Serena  Fogg  heard  it.  But  human 
nater  can't  bear  only  just  so  much,  especially  when 
it  has  stoves  a  dirtien  up  the  floor,  "nd  apple  sass 
on  its  mind,  and  unexpected  Jjj  any,  and  no 
cookin'  and  a  threshm'  machine  a-6-fmin'. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


NEVER  knew  a  word  about  the 
threshin'  machine  a-comin'  till 
about  half  an  hour  before.  Jo- 
siah  Allen  wuzn't  to  blame.  It 
come  just  as  onexpected  onto 
him  as  it  did  onto  me. 
Solomon  Gowdey  wuz  a-goin'  to  have  'em  first, 
which  would  have  left  me  ample  time  to  cook  up 
for  'em.  But  he  wuz  took  down  bed  sick,  so  they 
had  to  come  right  onto  us  with  no  warnin'  previous 
and  beforehand. 

They  wuz  a  drivin'  up  just  as  Josiah  got  the 
stove-pipe  up.  They  had  to  go  right  by  the  side 
of  the  house,  right  by  the  parlor  winders,  to  get  to 
the  side  of  the  barn  where  they  wanted  to  thresh ; 
and  just  as  they  wuz  a-goin'  by  one  of  the  horses 
got  down,  and  of  all  the  yellin'  I  ever  heard  that 
was  the  cap  sheaf. 

Steve    Yerden   is   rough    on    his   horses,  dretful 


62  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

rough.  He  yells  at  'em  enough  to  raise  the  ruff. 
His  threshin'  machine  is  one  of  the  kind  where  the 
horses  walk  up  and  look  over  the  top.  It  is  kinder 
skairful  any  way,  and  it  made  it  as  bad  agin  when 
you  expected  to  see  the  horse  fall  out  every 
minute. 

Wall,  that  very  horse  fell  out  of  the  machine 
three  times  that  day.  It  wuz  a  sick  horse,  I  be 
lieve,  and  hadn't  ort  to  have  been  worked.  But 
three  times  it  fell,  and  each  time  the  yellin'  wuz 
such  that  it  skairt  the  author  of  "  Peaceful  Repose," 
and  me,  almost  to  death. 

The  machine  wuz  in  plain  sight  of  the  house,  and 
every  time  we  see  the  horse's  head  come  a  mountin' 
up  on  top  of  the  machine,  we  expected  that  over 
it  would  go.  But  though  it  didn't  fall  out  only 
three  times,  as  I  said,  it  kep'  us  all  nerved  up  and 
uneasy  the  hull  of  the  time  expectin'  it.  And 
Steve  Yerden  kep'  a-yellin'  at  his  horses  all  the 
time;  there  wuzn't  no  comfort  to  be  took  within 
a  mile  of  him. 

I  wuz  awful  sorry  it  happened  so,  on  her  account. 

Wall,  I  had  to  get  dinner  for  nine  men,  and  cook 
if.  all  from  the  very  beginnin'.  If  you'll  believe  it, 


IT  DIDN'T  FALL  OUT  ONLY  THREE  TIMES." 


64  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

I  had  to  begin  back  to  bread.  I  hadn't  any  bread 
in  the  house,  but  I  had  it  a-risin',  and  I  got  two 
loaves  out  by  dinner  time.  But  I  had  to  stir  round 
lively,  I  can  tell  you,  to  make  pies  and  cookies  and 
fried  cakes,  and  cook  meat,  and  vegetables  of  all 
kinds. 

The  author  of  "Wedlock's  Peaceful  Repose"  came 
out  into  the  kitchen.  I  told  her  she  might,  if  she 
wanted  to,  for  I  see  I  wuzn't  goin'  to  have  a  min 
ute's  time  to  go  into  the  parlor  and  visit  with  her. 

She  looked  pretty  sober  and  thoughtful,  and  I 
didn't  know  as  she  liked  it,  to  think  I  couldn't  do 
as  I  promised  to  do,  accordin'  to  agreement,  to  hear 
her  lecture,  and  lift  my  hand  up  when  I  differed 
from  her. 

But,  good  land  !  I  couldn't  help  it.  I  couldn't 
get  a  minute's  time  to  lift  my  hand  up.  I  could 
have  heard  the  lecture,  but  I  couldn't  spare  my 
hands. 

And  then  Josiah  would  come  a-rushin'  in  after 
one  thing  and  another,  actin'  as  was  natural,  ac 
cordin'  to  the  nater  of  man,  more  like  a  wild  man 
than  a  Christian  Methodist.  For  he  was  so  wrought 
pp  and  excited  by  havin'  so  much  on  his  hands  to 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  65 

do,  and  the  onexpectedness  of  it,  that  he  couldn't 
help  actin'  jest  as  he  did  act.  I  don't  believe  he 
could.  And  then  Steve  Yerden  is  enough  to  dis 
tract  a  leather-man,  any  way. 


"TO   FIND  A  PIECE  OF   OLD  ROPE  TO   TIE   UP  THE  HARNESS." 

Twice  I  had  to  drop  everything  and  find  cloths 
to  do  up  the  horse's  legs,  where  it  had  grazed  'em 
a-fallin'  out  of  the  machine.  And  once  I  took  my 
hands  out  of  the  pie  crust  to  find  a  piece  of  old  rope 


66  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

to  tie  up  the  harness.  It  seemed  as  if  I  left  off  every 
five  minutes  to  wait  on  Josiah  Allen,  to  find  some- 
thin'  that  he  wanted  and  couldn't  find,  or  else  to  do 
somethin'  for  him  that  he  couldn't  do. 

Truly,  it  was  a  wild  and  harrowin'  time,  and  tegus. 
But  I  kept  a  firm  holt  of  my  principles,  and  didn't 
groan — not  when  anybody  could  hear  me.  I  won't 
deny  that  I  did,  out  in  the  buttery  by  myself,  give 
vent  to  a  groan  or  two,  and  a  few  sithes*.  But  im- 
megiately,  or  a  very  little  after,  I  was  calm  again. 

Wall,  worse  things  wuz  a-comin'  onto  me,  though 
I  didn't  know  it.  I  owed  a  tin  peddler;  had  been 
owin'  him  for  four  weeks.  I  owed  him  twenty-five 
pounds  of  paper  rags,  for  a  new  strainer.  I  had  been 
expectin'  him  for  over  three  weeks  every  day.  But 
in  all  the  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days  of  the 
year,  there  wuzn't  another  day  that  would  satisfy 
him ;  he  had  got  to  come  on  jest  that  day,  jest  as  I 
wuz  fryin'  my  nut  cakes  for  dinner. 

I  tried  to  put  him  off  till  another  day.  But  no  ! 
He  said  it  wuz  his  last  trip,  and  he  must  have  his 
rags.  And  so  I  had  to  put  by  my  work,  and  lug 
down  my  rag-bag.  His  steel-yards  wuz  broke,  so  he 
had  to  weigh  'em  in  the  house.  It  wuz  a  tegus  job, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  6/ 

for  he  wuz  one  of  the  perticuler  kind,  and  had  to 
look  'em  all  over  before  he  weighed  'em,  and  pick 
out  every  little  piece  of  brown  paper,  or  full  cloth — 
everything,  he  said,  that  wouldn't  make  up  into  the 
nicest  kind  of  writin'  paper. 

And  my  steel-yards  wuz  out  of  gear  any  way,  so 
they  wouldn't  weigh  but  five  pounds  at  a  time,  and 
he  wuz  dretful  pertieuler  to  have  'em  just  right  by 
the  notch. 

And  he  would  call  on  me  to  come  and  see  just 
how  the  steel-yards  stood  every  time.  (He  wuz  as 
honest  as  the  day ;  I  hain't  a  doubt  of  it.) 

But  it  wuz  tegus,  fearful  tegus,  and  excitin'.  Ex- 
citin',  but  not  exhileratin',  to  have  the  floor  all  cov 
ered  with  rags  of  different  shapes  and  sizes,  no  two 
of  a  kind.  It  wuz  a  curius  time  before  he  come,  and 
a  wild  time,  but  what  must  have  been  the  wildness, 
and  the  curosity  when  there  wuz,  to  put  a  small  es 
timate  on  it,  nearly  a  billion  of  crazy  lookin'  rags 
scattered  round  on  the  floor. 

But  I  kep'  calm;  I  have  got  giant  self-control, 
and  I  used  every  mite  of  it,  every  atom  of  control  I 
had  by  me,  and  kep'  calm.  I  see  I  must — for  I  see 
that  Miss  Fogg  looked  bad ;  yes,  I  see  that  the 


"SHE  LOOKED   CURIUS,    CURIUSER  THAN  THE   FLOOR   LOOKED. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  69 

author  of  "  Wedlock's  Peaceful  Repose"  wuz  pretty 
much  used  up.  She  looked  curius,  curiuser  than 
the  floor  looked,  and  that  is  goin'  to  the  complete 
end  of  curosity,  and  metafor. 

Wall,  I  tussled  along  and  got  dinner  ready.  The 
tin  peddler  had  to  stay  to  dinner,  of  course.  I 
couldn't  turn  him  out  jest  at  dinner  time.  And 
sometimes  I  almost  think  that  he  delayed  matters 
and  touzled  'round  amongst  them  rags  jest  a  pur 
pose  to  belate  himself,  so  he  would  have  to  stay  to 
dinner. 

I  am  called  a  good  cook.  It  is  known  'way  out 
beyend  Loontown  and  Zoar — it  is  talked  about,  I 
spoze.  Wall,  he  stayed  to  dinner.  But  he  only 
made  fourteen ;  there  wuz  only  thirteen  besides  him, 
so  I  got  along.  And  I  had  a  good  dinner  and 
enough  of  it. 

I  had  to  wait  on  the  table,  of  course — that  is,  the 
tea  and  coffee.  And  I  felt  that  a  cup  of  good, 
strong  tea  would  be  a  paneky.  I  wuz  that  wore  out 
and  flustrated  that  I  felt  that  I  needed  a  paneky  to 
soothe. 

And  I  got  the  rest  all  waited  on  and  wuz  jest  a 
liftin'  my  cup  to  my  lips,  the  cup  that  cheers  every- 


70  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

body  but  don't  inebriate  'em — good,  strong  Japan 
tea  with  cream  in  it.  Oh,  how  good  it  smelt.  Bat 
I  hadn't  fairly  got  it  to  my  mouth  when  I  wuz 
called  off  sudden,  before  I  had  drinked  a  drop,  for 
the  case  demanded  help  at  once. 

Miss  Peedick  had  unexpected  company  come  in, 
jest  as  they  wuz  a-settin'  down  to  the  dinner-table, 
and  she  hadn't  hardly  anything  for  dinner,  and  the 
company  wuz  very  genteel — a  minister  and  a  Jus 
tice  of  the  Peace — so  she  wanted  to  borrow  a  loaf 
of  bread  and  a  pie. 

She  is  a  good  neighbor  and  is  one  that  will  put 
herself  out  for  a  neighborin'  female,  and  I  went  into 
the  buttery,  almost  on  the  run,  to  get  'em  for  her, 
for  her  girl  said  she  wanted  to  get  'em  into  the 
house  and  onto  the  table  before  Mr.  Peedick  come 
in  with  'em  from  the  horse  barn,  for  they  knew  that 
Mr.  Peedick  would  lead  'em  out  to  dinner  the  very 
second  they  got  into  the  house,  and  Miss  Peedick 
didn't  want  her  husband  to  know  that  she  had  bor 
rowed  vittles,  for  he  would  be  sure  to  let  the  cat  out 
of  the  bag,  right  at  the  table,  by  speakin'  about  'em 
and  comparin'  'em  with  hern. 

I    see   the    necessity    for  urgent   haste,  and    the 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  ?I 

trouble  wuz  that  I  hurried  too  much.  In  takin' 
down  a  pie  in  my  awful  hurry,  I  tipped  over  a  pan 
of  milk  right  onto  my  dress.  It  wuz  up  high  and  I 


"  I    SEE  THE   NECESSITY    FOR   URGENT   HASTE." 

wuz  right  under  the  shelf,  so  that  about  three  tea- 
cupsful  went  down  into  my  neck.  But  the  most 
went  onto  my  dress,  about  five  quarts,  I  should  judge 


72  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

besides    that    that   wuz    tricklin'    down    my   back 
bone. 

Wall,  I  started  Serintha  Ann  Peedick  off  with  her 
ma's  pie  and  bread,  and  then  wiped  up  the  floor 
as  well  as  I  could,  and  then  I  had  to  go  and 
change  my  clothes.  I  had  to  change  'em  clear 
through  to  my  wrapper,  for  I  wuz  wet  as  sop — 
as  wet  as  if  I  had  been  takin'  a  milk  swim. 


CHAPTER    V. 

ALL,  the  author  of  "  Wedlock's 
Peaceful  Repose  "  vvuz  a-waitin' 
for  me  to  the  table ;  the  men 
had  all  got  through  and  gone 
out.  She  sot  right  by  me,  and 
she  had  missed  me,  1  could  see. 
Her  eyes  looked  bigger  than  ever,  and  more  sad 
like. 

She  said  "  she  was  dretful  sorry  for  me,"  and  I 
believed  her. 

She  asked  me  in  a  awe-stricken  tone,  "  if  I  had 
such  trials  every  day  ?" 

And  I  told  her  «  No,  I  didn't."  I  told  her  that 
things  would  run  along  smooth  and  agreeable  for  days 
and  days,  but  that  when  things  got  to  happening 
they  would  happen  right  along  for  weeks  at  a  time, 
sometimes,  dretful  curius.  A  hull  batch  of  diffi 
culties  would  rain  down  on  anybody  to  once.  Sez 
I,  "  You  know  Mr.  Shakespeare  says  that '  Sorrows 


74  SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

never  come  a-spyin'  along  as  single  fighters,  but  they 
come  in  hull  battles  of  'em/  or  words  to  that  effect." 

Sez  I,  in  reasonable  axents,  "  Mebby  I  shall  have 
a  hull  lot  of  good  things  happen  to  me  right  along, 
one  after  another,  some  dretful  agreeable  days,  and 
easy." 

Sez  she  in  the  same  sad  axents,  and  \vonderin', 
"  Did  you  ever  have  another  day  in  your  hull  life 
as  hard  as  this  you  are  a-passin'  through  ?" 

"  Oh,  yes,"  sez  I,  "lots  of 'em — some  worse  ones, 
and,"  sez  I,  "  the  day  has  only  jest  begun  yet,  I  pre 
sume  I  shall  have  lots  and  lots  of  new  things  happen 
to  me  before  night.  Because  it  is  jest  as  I  tell  you, 
when  things  get  to  happenin'  there  hain't  no  tellin' 
when  they  will  ever  stop." 

Miss  Fogg  groaned,  a  low,  deep  groan,  and  that 
is  every  word  she  said,  only  after  a  little  while  she 
spoke  up,  and  sez  : 

"You  hain't  eaten  a  bit  of  dinner;  it  all  got  cold 
while  you  wuz  a  changin'  your  dress." 

"Oh,  wall,"  sez  I,  "I  can  get  along  some  way. 
And  I  must  hurry  up  and  get  the  table  cleared  off 
any  way,  and  get  to  my  work  agin',  for  I  have  got 
to  do  a  lot  of  cookin'  this  afternoon.  It  takes  a 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  ?5 

sight  of  pies  and  cakes  and  such  to  satisfy  twelve  or 
a  dozen  men." 

So  I  went  to  work  vigorously  agin.  But  well 
might  I  tell  Miss  Fogg  "that  the  day  had  only  jest 
begun,  and  there  wuz  time  for  lots  of  things  to 
happen  before  night,"  for  I  had  only  jest  got  well  to 
work  on  the  ingregiences  of  my  pies  when  Submit 
Tewksbury  sent  over  "to  see  if  I  could  let  her  have 
them  sturchien  seeds  I  had  promised  her — she 
wanted  'em  to  run  up  the  inside  of  her  bedroom 
winder,  and  shade  her  through  the  winter.  She  wuz 
jest  a-settin'  out  her  winter  stock  of  flower  roots 
and  seeds,  and  wanted  'em  immegiatly,  and  to  once, 
that  is,  if  it  was  perfectly  convenient,"  so  the  boy 
said. 

Submit  is  a  good  creeter,  and  she  wouldn't  have 
put  that  burden  on  me  on  such  a  time  for  nothin', 
not  if  she  had  known  my  tribulations;  but  she 
didn't,  and  I  felt  that  one  trial  more  wouldn't, 
as  the  poet  hath  well  said,  "  either  make  or  break 


me." 


So  I  went  to  huntin'  for  the  seeds.  Wall,  it  wuz 
a  good  half-hour  before  I  could  find  'em,  for  of 
course  it  wuz  natural  nater,  accordin'  to  the  total 


76  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

deprivity  of  things,  that  I  should  find  'em  in  the 
bottom  of  the  last  bag  of  seeds  that  I  over 
hauled. 

But  Submit  had  been  disappointed,  and  I  didn't 
want  to  make  her  burdens  any  heavier,  so  I  sent 
her  the  sturchien  seeds. 

But  it  wuz  a  trial  I  do  admit  to  look  over  more 
than  forty  bags  of  garden  and  flower  seeds  in  such 
a  time  as  that.  But  I  sent  'em.  I  sent  Submit 
the  sturchien  seeds,  and  then  I  laid  to  work  again 
fast  as  I  possibly  could. 

But  I  sez  to  the  author  of  "  Peaceful  Repose,"  I 
sez  to  her,  sez  I  : 

"  I  feel  bad  to  think  I  hain't  gettin'  no  time  to 
hear  you  rehearse  your  lecture,  but  you  can  see  jest 
how  it  is;  you  see  I  hain't  had  a  minute's  time  to 
day.  Mebby  I  will  get  a  few  minutes'  time  before 
Anight;  I  will  try  to,"  sez  I. 

"  Oh,"  sez  she,  "  it  hain't  no  matter  about  that ;  I 
— I — I  somehow — I  don't  feel  like  rehearsin'  it  as 
it  was."  Sez  she,  "  I  guess  I  shall  make  some 
changes  in  it  before  I  rehearse  it  agin." 

Sez  I,  "  You  lay  out  to  make  a  more  mean  thing 
of  it,  more  megum." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


7/ 


"  Yes,"  sez  she,  in  faint  axents,  '•  I  am  a-thinkin' 
of  it." 

"  Wall,"  sez  I  cheerfully,  as  I  started   for  the  but- 


\- 


"AS   I    STARTED   FOR  THE   BUTTERY." 

tery  with  a  pile  of  cups  in  one  hand,  the  castor  and 
pickle  dish  in  the  other,  and  a  pile  of  napkins  under 
my  arm,"  I  believe  I  shall  like  it  as  well  again  if  you 
do,  any  way,"  sez  I,  as  I  kicked  away  the  cat  that 


78  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

wuz  a-clawin'  my  dress,  and  opened  the  door  with 
my  foot,  both  hands  bein'  full. 

u  Any  way,  there  will  be  as  much  agin  truth  in  it." 

Wall,  I  went  to  work  voyalently,  and  in  two 
hours'  time  I  had  got  my  work  quelled  down  some. 
But  I  had  to  strain  nearly  every  nerve  in  the  effort. 

And  I  am  afraid  I  didn't  use  the  colporter  just 
exactly  right,  who  come  when  I  wuz  right  in  the 
midst  of  puttin'  the  ingregiences  into  my  tea  cakes. 
I  didn't  enter  so  deep  into  the  argument  about  the 
Revised  New  Testament  as  I  should  in  easier  and 
calmer  times.  I  conversed  considerable,  I  argued 
some  with  him,  but  I  didn't  get  so  engaged  as  meb- 
by  I  had  ort  to.  He  acted  disappointed,  and  he 
didn't  stay  and  talk  more'n  an  hour  and  three  quar 
ters. 

He  generally  spends  half  a  day  with  us.  He  is  a 
master  hand  to  talk ;  he'll  make  your  brain  fairly 
spin  round  he  talks  so  fast  and  handles  such  large, 
curius  words.  He  talked  every  minute,  only  when 
I  wuz  a-answerin'  his  questions. 

Wall,  he  had  jest  gone,  the  front  gate  had  just 
clicked  onto  him,  when  Miss  Philander  Dagget  came 
in  at  the  back  door.  She  had  her  press-board  in 


"THERE  wuz  SOMETHIN'  WRONG  ABOUT  'EM.' 


80  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

her  hand,  and  a  coat  over  her  arm,  and  I  see  in  a 
minute  that  I  had  got  another  trial  onto  me.  I 
see  I  had  got  to  set  her  right. 

I  set  her  a  chair,  and  she  took  off  her  sun-bonnet 
and  hung  it  over  the  back  of  her  chair,  and  set 
down,  and  then  she  asked  me  if  I  could  spend  time 
to  put  in  the  sleeves  of  her  husband's  coat.  She 
said  "  there  wuz  somethin'  wrong  about  em',  but  she 
didn't  know  what." 

She  said  "  she  wouldn't  have  bothered  me  that 
day  when  I  had  so  much  round,  but  Philander  had 
got  to  go  to  a  funeral  the  next  day,  as  one  of  the 
barriers,  and  he  must  have  his  coat." 

Wall,  I  wrung  my  hands  out  of  the  dish-water 
they  was  in  at  the  time,  and  took  the  coat  and  looked 
at  it,  and  the  minute  I  set  my  eyes  on  it  I  see  what 
ailed  it.  I  see  she  had  got  the  sleeves  sot  in  so  the 
elbows  come  right  in  front  of  his  arms,  and  if  he  had 
wore  it  in  that  condition  to  the  funeral  or  anywhere 
else  he  would  have  had  to  fold  up  his  arms  right 
acrost  his  back  ;  there  wuzn't  no  other  possible  way. 

And  then  I  turned  tailoress  and  helped  her  out 
of  her  trouble.  I  sot  the  sleeves  in  proper,  and  fix 
ed  the  collar.  She  had  got  it  sot  on  as  a  ruffle.  I 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


81 


drawed  it  down  smooth  where  it  ort  to  be  and  pin 
ned  it — and  she  went  home  feelin'  first  rate. 

I  am  very  neighborly,  and  helpful,  and  am  called 


"SHE  13   APT   TO   GET   THINGS   WRONG." 

so.     Jonesville  would  miss  me  if  any  thing  should 
happen. 

I  have  often  helped  that  woman  a  sight.  She  is  a 
good,  willin'  creeter,  but  she  is  apt  to  get 'things 
wrong,  dretful  apt.  She  made  her  little  boy's  pan 
taloons  once  wrong  side  before,  so  it  would  seem 


82  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

that  he  would  have  to  set  down  from  the  front  side, 
or  else  stand  up. 

And  twice  she  got  her  husband's  pantaloons  sew 
ed  up  so  there  wuz  no  way  to  get  into  em'  only  to 
crawl  up  into  'em  through  the  bottom  of  the 
legs.  But  I  have  always  made  a  practice  of  rippin' 
and  tearin'  and  bastin',  and  settin'  her  right,  and  I 
did  now. 

Wall,  she  hadn't  hardly  got  out  of  the  back  door, 
when  Josiah  Allen  came  in  in  awful  distress,  he  had 
got  a  thorn  in  his  foot,  he  had  put  on  an  old  pair 
of  boots,  and  there  wuz  a  hole  in  the  side  of  or.e  of 
'em,  and  the  thorn  had  got  in  through  the  hole.  It 
pained  him  dretfully,  and  he  wuz  jest  as  crazy  as  a 
loon  for  the  time  bein'.  And  he  hollered  the  first 
thing  that  "  he  wanted  some  of  Hall's  salve."  And 
I  told  him  "  there  wuzn't  a  mite  in  the  house." 

And  he  hollered  up  and  says,  "  There  would  be 
some  if  there  wuz  any  sense  in  the  head  of  the 
house." 

I  glanced  up  mechanically  at  his  bald  head,  but 
didn't,  say  nothin',  for  I  see  it  wouldn't  do.  And 
he  hollered  out  agin,  "  Why  hain't  there  any  Hall's 
salve  ?" 


HE   WANTED    SOME    OF    HALL'S    SALVE.' 


84  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

Sez  I,  "  Because  old  Hall  has  been  dead  for 
years  and  years,  and  hain't  made  any  salve." 

"  Wall,  he  wouldn't  have  been  dead  if  he  had  had 
any  care  took  of  him,"  he  yelled  out. 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  he  wuz  killed  by  lightnin' ;  struck 
down  entirely  onexpccted  five  years  ago  last  sum 


mer." 


"Oh,  argue  and  dispute  with  a  dying  man.  Gra 
cious  Peter!  what  will  become  of  me  !"  he  groaned 
out,  a-holdin'  his  loot  in  his  hand. 

Sez  I,  "Let  me  put  some  Pond's  Extract  on  it, 
Josiah." 

"  Pond's  Extract !"  he  yelled,  and  then  he  called 
that  good  remedy  words  I  wuz  ashamed  to  hear 
him  utter. 

And  he  jumped  round  and  pranced  and  kicked 
just  as  it  is  the  nater  of  man  to  act  under  bodily 
injury  of  that  sort.  And  then  he  ordered  me  to 
take  a  pin  and  get  the  thorn  out,  and  then  acted 
mad  as  a  hen  at  me  all  the  time  I  wuz  a-doin'  it ; 
acted  jest  as  if  I  wuz  a-prickin'  him  a-purpose. 

He  talked  voyalent  and  mad.  I  tried  to  hush 
him  down  ;  I  told  him  the  author  of  "  Wedlock's 
Peaceful  Repose"  would  hear  him,  and  he  hollered 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  85 

back  "  he  didn't  care  a  cent  who  heard  him.  He 
wuz  killed,  and  he  shouldn't  live  to  trouble  any 
body  long  if  that  pain  kept  up." 

His  acts  and  words  wuz  exceedingly  skaifful  to 
anybody  who  didn't  understand  the  nater  of  a  man. 
But  I  wuzn't  moved  by  'em  so  much  as  the  width 
of  a  horse  hair.  Good  land  !  I  knew  that  jest  as 
soon  as  the  pain  subsided  he  would  be  good  as 
gold,  so  I  kep'  on,  cool  and  collected,  and  got  the 
thorn  out,  and  did  up  the  suffering  toe  in  Pond's 
Extract,  and  I  hadn't  only  jest  got  it  done,  when, 
for  all  the  world  !  if  I  didn't  see  a  double  team  stop 
in  front  of  the  house,  and  I  peeked  through  the 
winder  and  see  as  it  wuz  the  livery  stable  man  from 
Jonesville,  and  he  had  brung  down  the  last  straws 
to  be  lifted  onto  the  camel's  back — a  hull  lot  of 
onexpected  company.  A  hull  load  of  'em. 

There  wuz  the  Baptist  minister  and  his  wife  and 
their  three  children,  and  the  minister's  wife's  sister- 
in-law  from  the  West,  who  wuz  there  a-visitin',  and 
the  editor  of  the  Aiigurses  wife  (she  wuz  related  to 
the  visitor  from  the  West  by  marriage)  and  three 
of  the  twins.  And  old  Miss  Minkley,  she  wuz 
acquainted  with  the  visitor's  mother,  used  to  go  to 


86  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

school  with  her.  And  Drusilly  Sypher,  she  wuz 
the  visitor  from  the  West's  bosom  friend,  or  used 
to  be. 

Wall,  they  had  all  come  down  to  spend  the  after 
noon  and  visit  with  each  other,  and  with  me  and 
Josiah,  and  stay  to  supper. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

HE  author  of  "Peaceful  Repose" 
sez  to  me,  and  she  looked  pale 
and  skairt ;  she  had  heard  every 
word  Josiah  had  said,  and  she 
wuz  dretful  skairt  and  shocked 
(not  knowin'  the  ways  of  men,  and  not  understanding 
as  I  said  prior  and  before,  that  in  two  hours'  time 
he  would  be  jest  as  good  as  the  very  best  kind  of 
pie,  affectionate,  and  even  spoony,  if  I  would  allow 
spoons,  which  I  will  not  the  most  of  the  time). 
Wall,  she  proposed,  Miss  Fogg  did,  that  she  should 
ride  back  with  the  livery  man.  And  though  I  urged 
her  to  stay  till  night,  I  couldn't  urge  her  as  hard  as 
I  would  otherwise,  for  by  that  time  the  head  of  the 
procession  of  visitors  had  reached  the  door-step,  and 
I  had  to  meet  'em  with  smiles. 

I  smiled  some,  I  thought  I  must.  But  they  wuz 
curius  smiles,  very,  strange-lookin'  smiles,  sort  o' 
gloomy  ones,  and  mournful  lookin'. 


SHE   PROPOSED   THAT   SHE  SHOULD    RIDE   BACK   WITH    THE   LIVERY   MAN 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  89 

I  have  got  lots  of  different  smiles  that  I  keep  by 
me  for  different  occasionr,  every  woman  has,  and 
this  wuz  one  of  my  most  mournfulest  and  curiusest 
ones. 

Wall,  the  author  of  u  Wedlock's  Peaceful  and 
Perfect  Repose"  insisted  on  goin',  and  she  went. 
And  I  sez  to  her  as  she  went  down  the  steps, 
"That  if  she  would  come  up  some  other  day  when 
I  didn't  have  quite  so  much  work  round,  I  would 
be  as  good  as  my  word  to  her  about  hearin'  her  re 
hearse  the  lecture." 

But  she  said,  as  she  hurried  out  to  the  gate,  lookin' 
pale  an'  wan  (as  wan  agin  as  she  did  when  she  came, 
if  not  wanner): 

"  That  she  should  make  changes  in  it  before  she 
ever  rehearsed  it  agin — deep  changes? 

And  I  should  dare  to  persume  to  say  that  she  did. 
Though,  as  I  say,  she  went  off  most  awful  sudden, 
and  I  hadn't  seen  nor  heard  from  her  sence  till  I 

got  this  letter. 
******* 

Wall,  jest  as  I  got  through  with  the  authoresses 
letter,  and  Lodema  Trumble's,  Josiah  Allen  came. 
And  I  hurried  up  the  supper.  I  got  it  all  on  the 


90  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

table  while  I  wuz  a  steepin'  my  tea  (it  wuz  good 
tea).  And  we  sot  down  to  the  table  happy  as  a  king 
and  his  queen.  I  don't  s'pose  queens  make  a  prac 
tice  of  steepin'  tea,  but  mebby  they  would  be  better 


"  MY   PARDNER   ENJOYS   GOOD   VITTLES." 

off  if  they  did — and  have  better  appetites  and  better 
tea.  Any  way  we  felt  well,  and  the  supper  tasted 
good.  And  though  Josiah  squirmed  some  when  I 
told  him  Lodema  wuz  approachirr'  and  would  be 
there  that  very  night  or  the  next  day — still  the  cloud 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  QI 

wore  away  and  melted  off  in  the  glowin'  mellowness 
of  the  hot  tea  and  cream,  the  delicious  oysters  and 
other  good  things. 

My  pardner,  though,  as  he  often  says,  is  not  a 
epicack,  still  he  duz  enjoy  good  vittles  dretful  well 
and  appreciates  'em.  And  I  make  a  stiddy  practice 
of  doin'  the  best  I  can  by  him  in  this  direction. 

And  if  more  females  would  foller  on  and  cipher 
out  this  simple  rule,  and  get  the  correct  answer  to 
it,  the  cramp  in  the  right  hands  of  divorce  lawyers 
would  almost  entirely  disappear. 

For  truly  it  seems  that  no  human  man  could  be 
more  worrysoine,  and  curius,  and  hard  to  get  along 
with  than  Josiah  Allen  is  at  times;  still,  by  stiddy 
keepin'  of  my  table  set  out  with  good  vittles  from 
day  to  day,  and  year  to  year,  the  golden  cord  of  af 
fection  has  bound  him  to  me  by  ties  that  can't  never 
be  broken  into. 

He  worships  me  I  And  the  better  vittles  I  get, 
the  more  he  thinks  on  me.  For  love,  however  true 
and  deep  it  is,  is  still  a  tumultous  sea  ;  it  has  its  high 
tides,  and  its  low  ones,  its  whirlpools,  and  its  calms. 

He  loves  me  a  good  deal  better  some  days  than 
he  does  others ;  I  see  it  in  his  mean.  And  mark 


Q2  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

you  !  mark  it  well,  female  reader,  these  days  are  the 
ones  that  I  cook  up  sights  and  sights  of  good  food, 
and  with  a  cheerful  countenance  and  clean  apron, 
set  it  before  him  in  a  bright  room,  on  a  snowy  table 
cloth  ! 

Great — great  is  the  mystery  of  men's  love. 

I  have  often  and  often  repeated  this  simple  fact 
and  truth  that  underlies  married  life,  and  believe  me, 
dear  married  sisters,  too  much  cannot  be  said  about 
it,  by  those  whose  hearts  beat  for  the  good  of  female 
and  male  humanity — and  it  cannot  be  too  closely 
followed  up  and  practised  by  female  pardners. 

But  I  am  a-eppisodin';  and  to  resooin. 

Wall,  Lodema  Trumble  arrove  the  next  mornin' 
bright  and  early — I  mean  the  mornin'  wuz  bright, 
not  Lodema — oh  no.  fur  from  it ;  Lodema  is  never 
bright  and  cheerful — she  is  the  opposite  and  reverse 
always. 

She  is  a  old  maiden.  I  do  think  it  sounds  so 
much  more  respectful  to  call  'em  so  ruther  than"  old 
maid"  (but  I  had  to  tutor  Josiah  dretful  sharp  before 
I  could  get  him  into  it). 

I  guess  Lodema  is  one  of  the  regular  sort.  There 
is  different  kinds  of  old  maidens,  some  that  could 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  93 

marry  if  they  would,  and  some  that  would  but 
couldn't.  And  I  ruther  mistrust  she  is  one  of  the 
"  would-but-couldnt's,"  though  I  wouldn't  dast  to  let 
her  know  I  said  so,  not  for  the  world. 

Josiah  never  could  bear  the  sight  of  her,  and  he 
sort  o'  blamed  her  for  bein'  a  old  maiden.  But  I 
put  a  stop  to  that  sudden,  for  sez  I : 

"  She  hain't  to  blame,  Josiah." 

And  she  wuzn't.     I  hain't  a  doubt  of  it. 

Wall,  how  long  she  calculated  to  stay  this  time 
we  didn't  know.  But  we  had  our  fears  and  fore- 
bodin's  about  it ;  for  she  wuz  in  the  habit  of  makin' 
awful  long  visits.  Why,  sometimes  she  would  de 
scend  right  down  onto  us  sudden  and  onexpected, 
and  stay  fourteen  weeks  right  along — jest  like  a 
famine  or  a  pestilence,  or  any  other  simely  that  you 
are  a  mind  to  bring  up  that  is  tuckerin'  and 
stiddy. 

And  she  wuz  disagreeable,  I'll  confess,  and  she 
wuz  tuckerin',  but  I  done  well  by  her,  and  stood  be 
tween  her  and  Josiah  all  I  could.  He  loved  to 
put  on  her,  and  she  loved  to  impose  on  him.  I 
don't  stand  up  for  either  on  'em,  but  they  wuz  at 
regular  swords'  pints  all  the  time  a'most.  And  it 


94  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

come  fearful    tuff  on  me,  fearful  tuff,  for  I  had  to 
stand  the  brunt  on  it. 

But  she  is  a  disagreeable  creeter,    and    no    mis 
take.     She  is  one  of  them  that  can't  find  one  soli- 


"  BUT  SHE  IS  A  DISAGREEABLE  CREETER." 

tary  thing,  or  one  solitary  person  in  this  wide  world 
to  suit  'em.  If  the  weather  is  cold  she  is  pinin' 
for  hot  weather,  and  if  the  weather  is  hot  she  is 
pantin'  for  zero. 

If  it  is  a  pleasant  day  the   sun   hurts    her   eyes, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  95 

and  if  it  is  cloudy  she  groans  aloud  and  says  "  she 
can't  see." 

And  no  human  bein'  wuz  ever  known  to  suit 
her.  She  gets  up  early  in  the  mornin'  and  puts  on 
her  specs,  and  goes  out  (as  it  were)  a-huntin'  up 
faults  in  folks.  And  she  finds  'em,  finds  lots  of  'em. 
And  then  she  spends  the  rest  of  the  day  a-drivin' 
'em  ahead  of  her,  and  groanin'  at  'em. 

You  know  this  world  bein'  such  a  big  place  and 
so  many  different  sort  o'  things  in  it  that  you  can 
generally  find  in  it  the  perticuler  sort  of  game  you 
set  out  to  hunt  in  the  mornin'. 

If  you  set  out  to  hunt  beauty  and  goodness,  if 
you  take  good  aim  and  are  perseverin' — -if  you  jest 
track  'em  arid  foller  'em  stiddy  from  mornin'  till 
night,  and  don't  get  led  away  a-follerin'  up  some 
other  game,  such  as  meanness  and  selfishness  and 
other  such  worthless  head  o'  cattle — why,  at  night 
you  will  come  in  with  a  sight  of  good  game.  You 
will  be  a  noble  and  happy  hunter. 

At  the  same  time,  if  you  hunt  all  day  for  faults 
you  will  come  in  at  night  with  sights  of  pelts.  You 
will  find  what  you  hunt  for,  track  'em  right  along 
and  chase  'em  down. 


"  BUT   FIT    WITH   THEIR   TONGUES,   FEARFUL.' 


SAMANTHA   AMONG    THE   BRETHREN.  97 

Wall,  Lodema  never  got  led  away  from  her  per- 
riculer  chase.  She  just  hunted  faults  from  mornin' 
till  night,  and  done  well  at  it.  She  brought  in 
sights  of  skins. 

But  oh  1  wuzn't  it  disagreeable  in  the  extreme  to 
Samantha,  who  had  always  tried  to  bend  her  bow 
and  bring  down  Beauty,  to  have  her  familiar  huntin' 
grounds  turned  into  so  different  a  warpath.  It  wuz 
disagreeable!  It  wuz!  It  wuz  ! 

And  then,havin'  to  stand  between  her  and  Josiah 
too,  wuz  fearful  wearin'  on  me.  I  had  always  stood 
there  in  the  past,  and  now  in  this  visit  it  wuz  jest 
the  same;  all  the  hull  time,  till  about  the  middle 
of  the  fifth  week,  I  had  to  stand  between  their  two 
tongues — they  didn't  fight  with  their  hands,  but  fit 
with  their  tongues,  fearful. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

UT  along  about   the  middle  of  the 
fifth  week    I  see  a   ehange.     Lo- 
dema   had    been    uncommon    ex- 
asperatin',     and    I    expected    she 
would  set  Josiah    to  goin',  and   I 
groaned  in  spirit,  to  think  what  a 
job  wuz   ahead   of  me,  to  part  their  two  tongues — 
when  all  of  a  sudden  I    see    a   curius  change  come 
over  my  pardner's  face. 

I  remember  jest  the  date  that  the  change  in  his 
mean  wuz  visible,  and  made  known  to  me — for  it 
wuz  the  very  mornin'  that  we  got  the  invitation  to 
old  Mr.  and  Miss  Pressley's  silver  weddin'.  And* 
that  wuz  the  fifteenth  day  of  the  month  along  about 
the  middle  of  the  forenoon. 

And  it  wuz  not  half  an  hour  after  Elnathen 
Pressley  came  to  the  door  and  give  us  the  invi 
tations,  that  I  see  the  change  in  his  mean. 

And  when  I  asked  him  about  it  afterwards,  what 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  99 

that  strange   and  curius  look  meant,  he  never  hung 
back  a  mite  from  tellin'  me,  but  sez  right  out  plain  : 

"  Mebby,  Samantha,  I  hain't  done  exactly  as  I 
ort  to  by  cousin  Lodema,  and  I  have  made  up 
my  mind  to  make  her  a  happy  surprise  before  she 
goes  away." 

41  Wall,"  sez  I,  "so  do." 

I  thought  he  wuz  goin'  to  get  her  a  new  dress. 
She  had  been  a-hintin'  to  him  dretful  strong  to  that 
effect.  She  wanted  a  parmetty,  or  a  balzereen,  or  a 
circassien,  which  wuz  in  voge  in  her  young  days. 
But  I  wuz  in  hopes  he  would  get  her  a  cashmere, 
and  told  him  so,  plain. 

But  I  couldn't  get  him  to  tell  what  the  surprise 
wuz.  He  only  sez,  sez  he  : 

"  I  am  goin'  to  make  her  a  happy  surprise." 

And  the  thought  that  he  wuz  a-goin'  to  branch 
out  and  make  a  change,  wuz  considerable  of  a 
comfort  to  me.  And  I  needed  comfort — yes,  in 
deed  I  did — I  needed  it  bad.  For  not  one  single 
thing  did  I  do  for  her  that  I  done  right,  though  I 
tried  my  best  to  do  well  by  her. 

But  she  found  fault  with  my  vittles  from  mornin' 
till  night,  though  I  am  called  a  excellent  cook  all 


IOO       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

over  Jonesville,  and  all  round  the  adjoining  country, 
out  as  far  as  Loontovvn,  and  Zoar.  It  has  come 
straight  back  to  me  by  them  that  wouldn't  lie.  But 
it  hain't  made  me  vain. 

But  I  never  cooked  a  thing  that  suited  Lodema, 
not  a  single  thing.  Most  of  my  vittles  wuz  too 
fresh,  and  then  if  I  braced  up  and  salted  'em  extra 
so  as  to  be  sure  to  please  her,  why  then  they  wuz 
briny,  and  hurt  her  mouth. 

Why,  if  you'll  believe  it,  I  give  her  a  shawl,  made 
her  a  present  of  it ;  it  had  even  checks  black  and 
white,  jest  as  many  threads  in  the  black  stripes  as 
there  wuz  in  the  white,  for  I  counted  'em. 

And  she  told  me,  after  she  had  looked  it  all  over 
and  said  it  wuz  kinder  thin  and  slazy,  and  checkered 
shawls  had  gone  out  of  fashion,  and  the  black  look 
ed  some  as  if  it  would  fade  with  washin',  and  the 
white  wuzn't  over  clear,  and  the  colors  wuzn't  no 
ways  becomin'  to  her  complexion,  and  etcetery,  et- 
cetery. 

"  But,"  sez  she,  after  she  had  got  all  through  with 
the  rest  of  her  complaints — "  if  the  white  stripes 
wuz  where  the  black  wuz,  and  the  black  where  the 
white  wuz,  she  should  like  it  quite  well." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


IOI 


And  there  it  wuz,  even  check,  two  and  two. 
Wall,  that  wuz  a  sample  of  her  doin's. '   If  any 
body  had  a  Roman  nose  she  wanted  a  Greecy  one. 


"  IF  THE   WHITE  STRIPES   WUZ   WHERE  THE   BLACK  WUZ." 

And  if  the  nose  wuz  Greece,  why  then  she  wanted 
Rome. 

Why,  Josiah  sez  to  me  along  about  the  third 
week,  he  said  (to  ourselves,  in  private),  "  that  if  Lo« 
dema  went  to  Heaven  she  would  be  dissatisfied  with 


102       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

•  * 

; 

it,  and  think  it  wuz  livelier,  and  more  goin'  on  down 
to  the  other  place."  And  he  said  she  would  get  the 
angels  all  stirred  up  a  findin'  fault  with  their 
feathers. 

I  told  him  "  I  would  not  hear  such  talk." 
"  Wall,"  sez  he,  "don't you  believe  it?" 
And  I  kinder  turned  him  off,  and  wouldn't  tell, 
and  told  him  it  wuz  wicked  to  talk  so. 

"  Wall,"  sez  Josiah,  "you  dassent  say  she  wouldn't." 
And  I  dassent,  though  I  wouldn't  own  it  up  to 
him,  I  dassent. 

And  if  she  kinder  got  out  of   other  occupations' 
for  a  minute  durin'  them  first  weeks  she  would  be  a 
quarrelin'  with  Josiah  Allen  about  age. 

I  s'pose  she  and  Josiah  wuzn't  far  from  the  same 
age,  for  they  wuz  children  together.  But  she 
wanted  to  make  out  she  wuz  young. 

And  she  would  tell  Josiah  that  "  he  seemed  jest 
like  a  father  to  her,  and  always  had."  And  some 
times  when  she  felt  the  most  curius,  she  would  call 
him  "Father,"  and  "Pa,"  and  "Papa."  And  it 
would  mad  Josiah  Allen  so  that  I  vyould  have  all  I 
could  do  to  quell  him  down. 

Now  I  didn't  feel  so,  I   didn't  mind  it  so  much. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       IO3 

Why,  there  would  be  days,  when  she  felt  the  curius- 
est,  that  she  would  call  me  "  Mother,"  and  "  Ma,"  and 
foller  me  round  with  foot-stools  and  things,  when  I 
went  to  set  down,  and  would  kinder  worry  over  my 
fallin'  off  the  back  step,  and  would  offer  to  help  me 
up  the  suller  stairs,  and  so  forth,  and  watchin'  over 
what  I  et,  and  tellin'  me  folks  of  my  age  ort  to  be 
careful,  and  not  over-eat. 

And  Josiah  asked  me  to  ask  her  "  How  she  felt 
about  that  time  ?"  For  she  wuz  from  three  to  four 
years  older  than  I  wuz. 

But  I  wouldn't  contend  with  her,  and  the  foot 
stools  come  kinder  handy,  I  had  jest  as  lieve  have 
'em  under  my  feet  as  not,  and  ruther.  And  as  for  rich 
vittles  not  agreein'  with  me,  and  my  not  over-eatin', 
I  broke  that  up  by  fallin'  right  in  with  her,  and  not 
cookin'  such  good  things — that  quelled  her  down, 
and  gaulded  Josiah  too. 

But,  as  I  said,  it  riled  Josiah  the  worst  of  any 
thing  to  have  Lodema  call  him  father,  for  he  wants 
to  make  out  that  he  is  kinder  young  himself. 

And  sez  he  to  her  one  day,  about  the  third  week, 
when  she  was  a-goin'  on  about  how  good  and 
fatherly  he  looked,  and  how  much  he  seemed  like  a 


104  SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

parent  to  her,  and  always  had,  sez  he :  "  I  wonder  if 
I  seemed  like  a  father  to  you  when  we  wuz  a-kickin* 
at  each  other  in  the  same  cradle  ?"  Sez  he :  "  We 
both  used  to  nuss  out  of  the  same  bottle,  any  way,  for 
I  have  heard  my  mother  say  so  lots  of  times.  There 
wuzn't  ten  days'  difference  in  our  ages.  You  wuz 
ten  days  the  oldest  as  I  have  always  made  out." 

She  screamed  right  out,  "Why,  Josiah  Allen, 
where  is  your  conscience  to  talk  in  that  way — and 
your  heart?" 

"In  here,  where  everybody's  is,"  sez  Josiah, 
strikin'  himself  with  his  right  hand — he  meant  to 
strike  against  his  left  breast,  but  struck  too  low, 
kinder  on  his  stomach. 

And  sez  I,  "That  is  what  I  have  always  thought, 
Josiah  Allen.  I  have  always  had  better  luck 
reachin'  your  conscience  through  your  stomach  than 
in  any  other  way.  And  now,"  sez  I  coldly,"  do  you 
go  out  and  bring  in  a  pail  of  water." 

I  used  to  get  beat  out  and  sick  of  their  scufflin's 
and  disagreeing,  and  broke  'em  up  whenever  I  could. 

But  oh!  oh!  how  she  did  quarrel  with  Josiah  Al 
len  and  that  buzz  saw  scheme  of  his'n.  How  light 
she  made  of  that  enterprise,  how  she  demeaned  the 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


105 


buzz,  and  run  the  saws — till  I  felt  that  bad  as  I 
hated  the  enterprise  myself,  I  felt  that  a  variety  of 
loud  buzz  saws  would  be  a  welcome  relief  from  her 
tongue — from  their  two  tongues;  for  as  fur  down 


LODEMA  AND  JOSIAH  IN  YOUTH. 

as  she  would  run  them  buzz  saws,  jest  so  fur  would 
Josiah  Allen  praise  'em  up. 

She  never  agreed  with  Josiah  Allen  but  in  jest 
one  thing  while  she  was  under  his  ruff.  I  happened 
to  mention  one  day  how  extremely  anxious  I  wuz 
to  have  females  set  on  the  Conference;  and  then, 


IO6       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

wantin'  to  dispute  me,  and  also  bein' set  on  that  side, 
she  run  down  the  project,  and  called  it  all  to  nort— 
and  when  too  late  she  see  that  she  had  got  over  on 
Josiah  Allen's  side  of  the  fence. 

But  it  had  one  good  effect.  When  that  man  sec- 
she  wuz  there,  he  waded  off,  way  out  of  sight  oi 
the  project,  and  wouldn't  mention  it — it  madded 
him  so  to  he  on  the  same  side  of  the  fence  she  wuz 
— so  that  it  seemed  to  happen  all  for  the  best. 

Why,  I  took  her  as  a  dispensation  from  the  first, 
and  drawed  all  sorts  of  morels  from  her,  and  sights 
of  'em — sights. 

But  oh,  it  wuz  tuff  on  me,  fearful  tuff. 

And  when  she  calculated  and  laid  out  to  make 
out  her  visit  and  go,  wuz  more  than  we  could  tell. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

OR  two  weeks  had  passed  away 
like  a  nite  mair  of  the  nite — 
and  three  weeks,  and  four  weeks 
— and  she  didn't  seem  to  be  no 
nigher  goin'  than  she  did  when 
she  came. 

And  I  would  not  make  a  move  towards  gettin1 
rid  of  her,  not  if  I  had  dropped  down  in  my  tracts, 
because  she  wuz  one  of  the  relatives  on  his  side. 

But  I  wuz  completely  fagged  out ;  it  did  seem,  as 
I  told  Tirzah  Ann  one  day  in  confidence,  "that 
I  never  knew  the  meanin'  of  the  word  "  fag"  before. 
And  Tirzah  Ann  told  me  (she  couldn't  bear 
her)  that  if  she  wuz  in  my  place,  she  would  start 
her  off.  Sez  she : 

"  She  has  plenty  of  brothers  and  sisters,  and  a 
home  of  her  own,  and  why  should  she  come  here 
to  torment  you  and  father;"  and  sez  she,  "  I'll  talk 
to  her,  mother,  I'd  jest  as  leve  as  not." 


108       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Sez  I,  "  Tirzah  Ann,  if  you  say  a  word  to  her, 
I'll — I'll  never  put  confidence  in  you  agin  ;"  sez 
I,  "  Life  is  full  of  tribulations,  and  we  must  expect 
to  bear  our  crosses;"  sez  I,  u  The  old  martyrs  went 
through  more  than  Lodema." 

Sez  Tirzah  Ann,  "  I  believe  Lodema  would  have 
wore  out  John  Rogers." 

And  I  don't  know  but  she  would,  but  I  didn't 
encourage  her  by  ownin'  it  up  that  she  would ;  but 
I  declare  for't,  I  believe  she  would  have  been  more 
tegus  than  the  nine  children,  and  the  one  at  the 
breast,  any  way. 

Wall,  as  I  said,  it  wuz  durin'  the  fifth  week  that 
Josiah  Allen  turned  right  round,  and  used  her  first 
rate. 

And  when  she  would  talk  before  folks  about  how 
much  filial  affection  she  had  for  him,  and  about  his 
always  havin'  been  jest  like  a  parent  to  her,  and 
everything  of  the  kind — he  never  talked  back  a 
mite,  but  looked  clever,  and  told  me  in  confidence, 
"That  he  had  turned  over  a  new  leaf,  and  he 
wuz  goin'  to  surprise  her — give  her  a  happy  sur 
prise." 

And  he  seemed,  instead  of  lovin'  to  rile  her  up, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  109 

as  he  had,  to  jest  put  his  hull  mind  on  the  idee  of 
the  joyful  surprise. 

Wall,  I  am  always  afraid  (with  reason)  of  Josiah 
Allen's  enterprizes.  But  do  all  I  could,  he  wouldn't 
tell  me  one  word  about  what  he  wuz  goin'  to  do, 
only  he  kep  it  up,  kep  a-sayin'  that, 

"  It  wuz  somethin'  I  couldn't  help  approvin'  of, 
and  it  wuz  somethin'  that  would  happify  me,  and 
be  a  solid  comfort  to  her,  and  a  great  gain  and  honor." 

So  (though  I  trembled  some  for  the  result)  I 
had  to  let  it  go  on,  for  she  wuz  one  of  the  relations 
on  his  own  side,  and  I  knew  it  wouldn't  do  for  me 
to  interfere  too  much,  and  meddle. 

Why,  he  did  come  right  out  one  day  and  give 
hints  to  me  to  that  effect. 

Sez  I,  "Why  do  you  go  on  and  be  so  secret 
about  it  ?  Why  don't  you  tell  your  companion  all 
about  it,  what  you  are  a-goin'  to  do,  and  advise 
with  her?" 

And  he  sez,  "  I  guess  I  know  what  I  am  about. 
She  is  one  of  the  relations  on  my  side,  and  I  guess 
I  have  got  a  few  rights  left,  and  a  little  spunk." 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  sadly,  "you  have  got  the  spunk." 

"  Wall,"  sez  he,  "  I  guess  I  can  spunk  up,  and  do 


IIO  SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

somethin'  for  one  of  my  own  relations,  without  any 
interference  or  any  advice  from  any  of  the  Smith 
family,  or  anybody  else." 

Sez  I,  "  I  don't  want  to  stop  your  doin'  all  you 
can  for  Lodema,  but  why  not  tell  what  you  are 
a-goin'  to  do  ?" 

"  It  will  be  time  enough  when  the  time  comes," 
sez  he.  "  You  will  find  it  out  in  the  course  of  next 
week." 

Wall,  it  run  along  to  the  middle  of  the  next 
week.  And  one  day  I  had  jest  sot  down  to  tie  off 
a  comforter. 

It  wuz  unbleached  cheese  cloth  that  I  had 
bought  and  colored  with  tea  leaves.  It  wuz  a  sort 
of  a  light  mice  color,  a  pretty  soft  gray,  and  I  wuz 
goin'  to  tie  it  in  with  little  balls  of  red  zephyr 
woosted,  and  work  it  in  buttonhole  stitch  round 
the  edge  with  the  same. 

It  wuz  fur  our  bed,  Josiah's  and  mine,  and  it  wuz 
goin'  to  be  soft  and  warm  and  very  pretty,  though 
I  say  it,  that  shouldn't. 

It  wuzn't  quite  so  pretty  as  them  that  hain't 
colored.  I  had  'em  for  my  spare  beds,  cream  color 
tied  with  pale  blue  and  pink,  that  wuz  perfectly 


fc*  1    HAD  JEST   SOT   DOWN   TO   TIE  OFF   A   COMFORTER." 


112       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

beautiful  and  very  dressy  ;  but  I  thought  for  every 
day  use  a  colored  one  would  be  better. 

Wall,  I  had  brought  it  out  and  wuz  jest  a-goin' 
to  put  it  onto  the  frames  (some  new-fashioned  ones 
I  had  borrowed  from  Tirzah  Ann  for  the  occa 
sion). 

And  Cousin  Lodema  had  jest  observed,  "that 
the  new-fashioned  frames  with  legs  wuzn't  good  for 
nothin',  and  she  didn't  like  the  color  of  gray,  it 
looked  too  melancholy,  and  would  be  apt  to  de 
press  our  feelin's  too  much,  and  would  be  try  in'  to 
our  complexions." 

And  I  told  her  "  that  I  didn't  spoze  there  would 
be  a  very  great  congregation  in  our  bedroom,  as  a 
general  thing  in  the  dead  of  night,  to  see  whether 
it  wuz  becomin'  to  Josiah  and  me  or  not.  And,  it 
bein'  as  dark  as  Egypt,  our  complexions  wouldn't 
make  a  very  bad  show  any  way." 

"  Wall,"  she  said,  "  to  tie  it  with  red  wuzn't  at  all 
appropriate,  it  wuz  too  dressy  a  color  for  folks  of 
our  age,  Josiah's  and  mine."  "  Why,"  sez  she,"  even 
/,  at  my  age,  would  skurcely  care  to  sleep  under  one 
so  gay.  And  she  wouldn't  have  a  cheese  cloth 
comforter  any  way." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       113 

She  sort  o'  stopped  to  ketch  breath,  and  Josiah 
sez : 

"  Oh,  wall,  Lodema,  a  cheese  cloth  comforter  is 
better  than  none,  and  I  should  think  you  would 
be  jest  the  one  to  like  any  sort  of  a  frame  on 
legs." 

But  I  wunk  at  him,  a  real  severe  and  warnin' 
wink,  and  he  stopped  short  off,  for  all  the  world  as 
if  he  had  forgot  bein'  on  his  good  behavior;  he 
stopped  short  off,  and  went  right  to  behaving  and 
sez  he  to  me : 

"  Don't  put  on  your  comforter  to-day,  Samantha, 
for  Tirzah  Ann  and  Whitfield  and  the  babe  are 
a-comin'  over  here  bimeby,  and  Maggie  is  a-comin', 
and  Thomas  Jefferson." 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  that  is  a  good  reason  why  I 
should  keep  on  with  it ;  the  girls  can  help  me  if  I 
don't  get  it  off  before  they  get  here." 

And  then  he  sez,  "  Miss  Minkley  is  a-comin',  too, 
and  the  Elder." 

"Why'ee,"  sez  I,  "  Josiah  Allen,  why  didn't  you 
tell  me  before,  so  I  could  have  baked  up  ,somethin' 
nice  ?  What  a  man  you  are  to  keep  things ;  how 
long  have  you  known  it  ?" 


114  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

"  Oh,  a  week  or  so  1" 

"A  week!"  sez  I;  "Josiah  Allen,  where  is  your 
conscience  ?  if  you  have  got  a  conscience." 

"In  the  same  old  place,"  sez  he,  kinder  hittin' 
himself  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach. 

"  Wall,  I  should  think  as  much,"  sez  I. 

And  Lodema  sez,  sez  she :  "  A  man  that  won't 
tell  things  is  of  all  creeters  that  walks  the  earth  the 
most  disagreeable.  And  I  should  think  the  girls, 
Maggie  and  Tirzah  Ann,  would  want  to  stay  to 
home  and  clean  house  such  a  day  as  this  is.  And 
I  should  think  a  Elder  would  want  to  stay  to  home 
so's  to  be  on  hand  in  case  of  anybody  happenin'  to 
be  exercised  in  their  minds,  and  wantin  to  talk  to 
him  on  religious  subjects.  And  if  I  wuz  a  Elder's 
wife,  I  should  stay  to  home  with  him  ;  I  should 
think  it  wuz  my  duty  and  my  privilege.  And  if  I 
wuz  a  married  woman,  I  would  have  enough  baked 
up  in  the  house  all  the  time,  so's  not  to  be  afraid  of 
company." 

But  I  didn't  answer  back.  I  jest  sot  away  my 
frames,  and  went  out  and  stirred  up  a  cake;  I  had 
one  kind  by  me,  besides  cookies  and  jell  tarts. 

But  I  felt  real  worked  up  to  think  I  hadn't  heard. 


.     SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  115 

Wall,  I  hadn't  more'n  got  that  cake  fairly  into  the 
oven  when  the  children  come,  and  Elder  Minkley 
and  his  wife.  And  I  thought  they  looked  queer, 
and  I  thought  the  Elder  begun  to  tell  me  something 
and  I  thought  I  see  Josiah  wink  at  him.  But  I 
wouldn't  want  to  take  my  oath  whether  he  wunk  or 
not,  but  I  thought  he  wunk. 

I  wuz  jest  a  turnin'  this  over  in  my  mind,  and  a 
carryin'  away  their  things,  when  I  glanced  out  of  the 
settin'  room  winder,  and  lo,  and  behold  !  there  wuz 
Abi  Adsit  a  comin'  up  to  the  front  door,  and  right 
behind  her  wuz  her  Pa  and  Ma  Adsit,  and  Deacon 
Henzy  and  his  wife,  and  Miss  Henn  and  Metilda, 
and  Lute  Pitkins  and  his  wife,  and  Miss  Petengill, 
and  Deacon  Sypher  and  Drusilly,  and  Submit 
Tewksbury — a  hull  string  of  'em  as  long  as  a  pro 
cession. 

Sez  I,  and  I  spoke  it  right  out  before  I  thought — 
sez  I — • 

"Why'ee!"  sez  I.  "  For  the  land's  sake!"  sez  I  f 
"has  there  been  a  funeral,  or  anything?  And  are 
these  the  mourners  ?"  sez  I.  "  Are  they  stoppin' 
here  to  warm  ?" 

For  it  wuz  a  cold  day — and  I  repeated  the  words 


Il6       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

to  myself  mechanically  as  it  wuz,  as  I  see  'em  file 
up  the  path. 

"They  be  mourners,  hain't  they?'* 

"  No,"  sez  Josiah,  who  had  come  in  and  wuz  a 
standin'  by  the  side  of  me,  as  I  spoke  out  to  myself 
unbeknown  to  me — sez  he  in  a  proud  axent — 

"  No,  they  hain't  mourners,  they  are  Happyfiers  ; 
they  are  Highlariers ;  they  have  come  to  our  party. 
We  are  givin'  a  party,  Samantha.  We  are  havin'  a 
diamond  weddin'  here  for  Lodema." 

"  A  diamond  weddin' !"  I  repeated  mechanically. 

"  Yes,  this  is  my  happy  surprise  for  Lodema." 

I  looked  at  Lodema  Trumble.  She  looked 
strange.  She  had  sunk  back  in  her  chair.  I 
thought  she  wuz  a-goin'  to  faint,  and  she  told  some 
body  the  next  day,  "  that  she  did  almost  lose  her 
conscientiousness." 

"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  she  hain't  married." 

"  Wall,  she  ort  to  be,  if  she  hain't,"  sez  he.  "  I 
say  it  is  high  time  for  her  to  have  some  sort  of  a 
weddin'.  Everybody  is  a  havin'  'em — tin,  and  silver 
and  wooden,  and  basswood,  and  glass,  and  etc. — 
and  I  thought  it  wuz  a  perfect  shame  that  Lodema 
shouldn't  have  none  of  no  kind — and  I  thought  I'd 


WE  ARE   GIVIN*   A   PARTY,    SAMANTHA.' 


Il8  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

lay  to,  and  surprise  her  with  one.  Every  other 
man  seemed  to  be  a-holdin'  off,  not  willin'  seemin'ly 
that  she  should  have  one,  and  I  jest  thought  I 
would  happify  her  with  one." 

"  Wall,  why  didn't  you  make  her  a  silver  one,  or 
a  tin  ?"  sez  I. 

"Or  a  paper  one!"  screamed  Lodema,  who  had 
riz  up  out  of  her  almost  faintin'  condition.  "  That 
would  have  been  much  more  appropriate,"  sez  she. 

"  Wall,  I  thought  a  diamond  one  would  be  more 
profitable  to  her.  For  I  asked  'em  all  to  bring  dia 
monds,  if  they  brought  anything.  And  then  I 
thought  it  would  be  more  suitable  to  her  age." 

"  Why !"  she  screamed  out.  "  They  have  to  be 
married  seventy-five  years  before  they  can  have 
one." 

"  Yes,"  sez  he  dreemily,  "  I  thought  that  would  be 
about  the  right  figure." 

Lodema  wuz  too  mad  to  find  fault  or  complain 
or  anything,  She  jest  marched  up-stairs  and  didn't 
come  down  agin  that  night.  And  the  young  folks 
had  a  splendid  good  time,  and  the  old  ones,  too. 

Tirzah  Ann  and  Maggie  had  brought  some  re 
freshments  with  'em,  and  so  had  some  of  the  other 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  1 19 

wimmen,  and,  with  what  I  had,  there  wuz  enough, 
and  more  than  enough,  to  refresh  ourselves  with. 

Wall,  the  very  next  mornin'  Lodema  marched 
down  like  a  grenideer,  and  ordered  Josiah  to  take 
her  to  the  train.  And  she  eat  breakfast  with  her 
things  on,  and  went  away  immegiately  after,  and 
hain't  been  back  here  sense. 

And  I  wuz  truly  glad  to  see  her  go,  but  wuz 
sorry  she  went  in  such  a  way,  and  I  tell  Josiah  he 
wuz  to  blame. 

But  he  acts  as  innocent  as  you  pleese.  And  he 
goes  all  over  the  arguments  agin  every  time  I  take 
him  to  do  about  it.  He  sez  "she  wuz  old  enough 
to  have  a  weddin'  of  some  kind." 

And  of  course  I  can't  dispute  that,  when  he  faces 
me  right  down,  and  sez  : 

"  Hain't  she  old  enough  ?" 

And  I'll  say,  kinder  short — 

"  Why,  I  spoze  so  !" 

"  Wall,"  sez  he,  "  wouldn't  it  have  been  profitable 
to  her  if  they  had  brought  diamonds  ?'  Wouldn't 
it  have  been  both  surprisin' and  profitable?"  And 
sez  he,  "  I  told  'em  expressly  to  bring  diamonds  if 
they  had  more  than  they  wanted.  I  charged  old 


120 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


Bobbet  and  Lute  Pitkins  specially  on  the  subject. 
I  didn't  want  'em  to  scrimp  themselves ;  but,"  sez  I, 
"  if  you  have  got  more  diamonds  than  you  want, 
Lute,  bring  over  a  few  to  Lodema." 


"IF  YOU  HAVE  GOT  MORE  DIAMONDS  THAN  YOU  WANT." 

"Yes,"  sez  I,  coldly,  "he  wuz  dretful  likely  to 
have  diamonds  more  then  he  wanted,  workin'  out 
by  day's  work  to  support  his  family.  You  know 
there  wuzn't  a  soul  you  invited  that  owned  a  dia 
mond." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       121 

"  How  did  I  know  what  they  owned  ?  I  never 
have  prowled  round  into  their  bureau  draws  and 
things,  tryin'  to  find  out  what  they  had ;  they  might 
have  had  quarts  of  'em,  and  I  not  know  it." 

Sez  I,  "  You  did  it  to  make  fun  of  Lodema  and 
get  rid  of  her.  And  it  only  makes  it  worse  to  try 
to  smooth  it  over."  Sez  I,  "  I'd  be  honorable 
about  it  if  I  wuz  in  your  place,  and  own  up." 

"  Own  up  ?  What  have  I  got  to  own  up  ?  I 
shall  always  say  if  my  orders  wuz  carried  out,  it 
would  have  been  a  profitable  affair  for  Lodema, 
and  it  would — profitable  and  surprisin'." 

And  that  is  all  I  can  get  him  to  say  about  it, 
from  that  day  to  this. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

UT  truly  the  labors  that  descended 
onto  my  shoulders  immegiately 
after  Lodema's  departure  vvuz  hard 
enough  to  fill  up  my  hull  mind,  and  tax  every  one 
of  my  energies. 

Yes,  my  labors  and  the  labors  of  the  other  female 
Jonesvillians  wuz  deep  and  arjuous  in  the  extreme 
(of  which  more  and  anon  bimeby). 

I  had  been  the  female  appinted  in  a  private  and 
becomin'  female  way,  to  go  to  Loontown  to  see  the 
meetin'  house  there  that  we  heard  they  had  fixed 
over  in  a  cheap  but  commojous  way.  And  for  rea 
sons  (of  which  more  and  anon)  we  wanted  to  inquire 
into  the  expense,  the  looks  on't,  etc.,  etc. 

So  I  persuaded  Josiah  Allen  to  take  me  over  to 
Loontown  on  this  pressin'  business,  and  he  gin  his 
consent  to  go  on  the  condition  that  we  should  stop 
for  a  visit  to  Cephas  Bodley'ses.  Josiah  sets  store 
by  'em. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       123 

You  see  they  are  relations  of  ourn  and  have  been 
for  some  time,  entirely  unbeknown  to  us,  and  they'd 
come  more'n  a  year  ago  a  huntin'  of  us  up.  They 
said  they  "  thought  relations  ought  to  be  hunted  up 
and  hanged  together."  They  said  "  the  idea  of  huntin' 
us  up  had  come  to  'em  after  readin'  my  books." 
They  told  me  so,  and  I  said,  "  Wall !"  I  didn't  add 

nor  diminish  to  that  one  "wall/ 'for  I  didn't  want  to 

• 

act  too  backward,  nor  too  forward.  I  jest  kep' 
kinder  neutral,  and  said,  "  Wall !" 

You  see  Cephas'ses  father's  sister-in-law  wuz  step 
mother  to  my  aunt's  second  cousin  on  my  father's 
side.  And  Cephas  said  that  "  he  had  felt  more  and 
more,  as  years  went  by,  that  it  wuz  a  burnin'  shame 
for  relations  to  not  know  and  love  each  other."  He 
said  "  he  felt  that  he  loved  Josiah  and  me  dearly." 

I  didn't  say  right  out  whether  it  wuz  reciprokated 
or  not.  I  kinder  said,  "Wall!"  agin. 

And  I  told  Josiah,  in  perfect  confidence  and  the 
wood-house  chamber,  "  that  I  had  seen  nearer  rela 
tions  than  Mr.  Bodley'ses  folks  wuz  to  us." 

Howsumever,  I  done  well  by  'em.  Josiah  killed 
a  fat  turkey,  and  I  baked  it,  and  done  other  things 
for  their  comfort,  and  we  had  quite  a  good  time. 


*  CEPHAS  SAID  IT  wuz  A  BURNIN*  SHAME  FOR  RELATIONS  TO  NOT  KNOW  AND 

LOVE  EACH   OTHER." 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  125 

Cephas  wuz  ruther  flowery  and  enthusiastick,  and 
his  mouth  and  voice  wuz  ruther  large,  but  he  meant 
well,  I  should  judge,  and  we  had  quite  a  good  time. 

She  wuz  very  freckled,  and  a  second-day  Baptist 
by  perswasion,  and  wuz  piecin'  up  a  crazy  bedquilt. 
She  went  a-visitin'  a  good  deal,  and  got  pieces  of 
the  women's  dresses  where  she  visited  for  blocks. 
So  it  wuz  quite  a  savin'  bedquilt,  and  very  good- 
lookin',  considerin'. 

But  to  resoom  and  continue  on.  Cephas'ses  folks 
made  us  promise  on  our  two  sacred  honors,  Josiah's 
honor  and  mine,  that  we  would  pay  back  the  visit, 
for,  as  Cephas  said,  "  for  relatives  to  live  so  clost  to 
each  other,  and  not  to  visit  back  and  forth,  wuz  a 
burnin'  shame  and  a  disgrace."  And  Josiah  prom 
ised  that  we  would  go  right  away  after  sugerin'. 

We  wouldn't  promise  on  the  New  Testament, 
as  Cephas  wanted  us  to  (he  is  dretful  enthusias 
tick)  ;  but  we  gin  good  plain  promises  that  we 
would  go,  and  laid  out  to  keep  our  two  words. 

Wall,  we  got  there  onexpected,  as  they  had 
come  onto  us.  And  we  found  'em  plunged  into 
trouble.  Their  only  child,  a  girl,  who  had  mar 
ried  a  young  lawyer  of  Loontown,  had  jest  lost 


126  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

her  husband  with  the  typus,  and  they  wuz  a-makin' 
preparations  for  the  funeral  when  we  got  there. 
She  and  her  husband  had  come  on  a  visit,  and 
he  wuz  took  down  bed-sick  there  and  died. 

I  told  'em  I  felt  like  death  to  think  I  had  de 
scended  down  onto  'em  at  such  a  time. 

But  Cephas  said  he  wuz  jest  dispatchin'  a  mes 
senger  for  us  when  we  arrove,  for,  he  said,  "in  a 
time  of  trouble,  then  wuz  the  time,  if  ever,  that 
a  man  wanted  his  near  relations  clost  to  him." 

And  he  said  "we  had  took  a  load  offen  him 
by  appearin'  jest  as  we  did,  for  there  would  have 
been  some  delay  in  gettin'  us  there,  if  the  mes 
senger  had  been  dispatched." 

He  said  "that  mornin'  he  had  felt  so  bad  that 
he  wanted  to  die — it  seemed  as  if  there  wuzn't 
nothin'  left  for  him  to  live  for;  but  now  he  felt  that 
he  had  sunthin'  to  live  for,  now  his  relatives  wuz 
gathered  round  him." 

Josiah  shed  tears  to  hear  Cephas  go  on.  I  my 
self  didn't  weep  none,  but  I  wuz  glad  if  we  could 
be  any  comfort  to  'em,  and  told  'em  so. 

And  I  told  Sally  Ann,  that  wuz  Cephas'ses  wife, 
that  I  would  do  anything  I  could  to  help  'em. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

And  she  said  everything  wuz  a-bein*  done  that 
wuz  necessary.  She  didn't  know  of  but  one  thing 
that  wuz  likely  to  be  overlooked  and  neglected,  and 
that  wuz  the  crazy  bedquilt.  She  said  "  she  would 
love  to  have  that  finished  to  throw  over  a  lounge  in 
the  setting-room,  that  wuz  frayed  out  on  the  edges, 
and  if  I  felt  like  it,  it  would  be  a  great  relief 
to  her  to  have  me  take  it  right  offen  her  hands 
and  finish  it." 

So  I  took  out  my  thimble  and  needle  (I  always 
carry  such  necessaries  with  me,  in  a  huzzy  made  ex 
pressly  for  that  purpose),  and  I  sot  down  and  went 
to  piecin'  up.  There  wuz  seventeen  blocks  to  piece 
up,  each  one  crazy  as  a  loon  to  look  at,  and  it  wuz 
all  to  set  together. 

She  had  the  pieces,  for  she  had  been  off  on  a  vis- 
itin'  tower  the  week  before,  and  collected  of  'em. 

So  I  sot  in  quiet  and  the  big  chair  in  the  settin'- 
room,  and  pieced  up,  and  see  the  preparations  goin' 
on  round  us. 

I  found  that  Cephas'ses  folks  lived  in  a  house  big 
and  showy-lookin',  but  not  so  solid  and  firm  as  I 
had  seen. 

It   wuz   one   of  the  house.s,  outside  and  inside, 


128 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


where  more  pains  had  been  took  with  the  porticos 
and  ornaments  than  with  the  underpinnin'. 

It  had  a  showy  and  kind  of  a  shaky  look.     And 
I  found  that  that  extended  to  Cephas'ses  business  ar- 


"  SO    I    SOT   IN   QUIET  AND   THE   BIG    CHAIR." 

rangements.  Amongst  ihe  other  ornaments  of  his 
buildin's  wuz  mortgages,  quite  a  lot  of  'em,  and  of 
almost  every  variety.  He  had  gin  his  only  child, 
S.  Annie  (she  wuz  named  after  her  mother,  Sally 
Ann,  but  spelt  it  this  way),  he  had  gin  S,  Annie 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  129 

a  showy  education,  a  showy  weddin',  and  a  showy 
settin'-out.  But  she  had  had  the  good  luck  to 
marry  a  sensible  man,  though  poor. 

He  took  S.  Annie  and  the  brackets,  the  piano  and 
hangin'  lamps  and  baskets  and  crystal  bead  lambre 
quins,  her  father  had  gin  her,  moved  'em  all  into  a 
good,  sensible,  small  house,  and  went  to  work  to  get 
a  practice  and  a  livin'.  He  was  a  lawyer  by  per- 
swasion. 

Wall,  he  worked  hard,  day  and  night,  for  three 
little  children  come  to  'em  pretty  fast,  and  S.  Annie 
consumed  a  good  deal  in  trimmin's  and  cheap  lace 
to  ornament  'em ;  she  wuz  her  father's  own  girl  for 
ornament.  But  he  worked  so  hard,  and  had  so 
many  irons  in  the  fire,  and  kep'  'em  all  so  hot,  that 
he  got  a  good  livin'  for  'em,  and  begun  to  lay  up 
money  towards  buyin'  'em  a  house — a  home. 

He  talked  a  sight,  so  folks  said  that  knew  him 
well,  about  his  consumin'  desire  and  aim  to  get  his 
wife  and  children  into  a  little  home  of  their  own, 
into  a  safe  little  haven,  where  they  could  live  if  he 
wuz  called  away.  They  say  that  that  wuz  on  his 
mind  day  and  night,  and  wuz  what  nerved  his  hand 
so  in  the  fray,  and  made  him  so  successful. 


130       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Wall,  he  had  laid  up  about  nine  hundred  dollars 
towards  a  home,  every  dollar  on  it  earned  by  hard 
work  and  consecrated  by  this  deathless  hope  and 
affection.  The  house  he  had  got  his  mind  on  only 
cost  about  a  thousand  dollars.  Loontown  property 
is  cheap. 

Wall,  he  had  laid  up  nine  hundred,  and  wuz 
a-beginnin'  to  save  on  the  last  hundred,  for  he 
wouldn't  run  in  debt  a  cent  any  way,  when  he  wuz 
took  voyalent  sick  there  to  Cephas'ses ;  he  and  S. 
Annie  had  come  home  for  a  visit  of  a  day  or  two, 
and  he  bein'  so  run  down,  and  weak  with  his  hard 
day  work  and  his  night  work,  that  he  suckumbed 
to  his  sickness,  and  passed  away  the  day  before  I 
got  there. 

Wall,  S.  Annie  wuz  jest  overcome  with  grief  the 
day  I  got  there,  but  the  day  follerin'  she  begun  to 
take  some  interest  and  help  her  father  in  rnakin' 
preparations  for  the  funeral. 

The  body  wuz  embalmed,  accordin'  to  Cephas'ses 
and  S.  Annie's  wish,  and  the  funeral  wuz  to  be  on 
the  Sunday,  follerin',  and  on  that  Cephas  and  S. 
Annie  now  bent  their  energies. 

To   begin  with,   S.  Anqie  had  a  hull  suit  of  clear 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  13! 

crape  made  for  herself,  with  a  veil  that  touched  the 
ground ;  she  also  had  three  other  suits  commenced, 
for  more  common  wear,  trimmed  heavy  with  crape, 
one  of  which  she  ordered  for  sure  the  next  week,  for 
she  said,  "  she  couldn't  stir  out  of  the  house  in  any 
other  color  but  black/' 

I  knew  jest  how  dear  crape  wuz,  and  I  tackled 
her  on  the  subject,  and  sez  I — 

"  Do  you  know,  S.  Annie,  these  dresses  of  your'n 
will  cost  a  sight  ?" 

"  Cost  ?"  sez  she,  a-bustin'  out  a-cryin'.  "  What  do 
I  care  about  cost  ?  I  will  do  everything  I  can  to 
respect  his  memory.  I  do  it  in  remembrance  of  him." 

Sez  i,  gently,  "  S.  Annie,  you  wouldn't  forget 
him  if  you  wuz  dressed  in  white.  And  as  for  re 
spect,  such  a  life  as  his,  from  all  I  hear  of  it,  don't 
need  crape  to  throw  respect  on  it ;  it  commands  re 
spect,  and  gets  it  from  everybody." 

"But,"  sez  Cephas,  "it  would  look  dretful  odd 
to  the  neighbors  if  she  didn't  dress  in  black."  Sez 
he  in  a  skairful  tone,  and  in  his  intense  way — 

"  I  would  ruther  resk  my  life  than  to  have  her  fail 
in  duty  in  this  way ;  it  would  make  talk.  And," 
sez  he,  "  what  is  life  worth  when  folks  talk  ?* 


WHAT  is  LIFE  WORTH  WHEN  FOLKS  TALK?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       133 

• 

I  turned  around  the  crazed  block  and  tackled  it 
in  a  new  place  (more  luny  than  ever  it  seemed  to 
me),  and  sez  I,  mekanickly — 

"  It  is  pretty  hard  work  to  keep  folks  from  talkin'; 
to  keep  'em  from  sayin'  somethin'." 

But  I  see  from  their  looks  it  wouldn't  do  to  say 
anything  more,  so  I  had  to  set  still  and  see  it  go  on, 

At  that  time  of  year  flowers  wuz  dretful  high,  but 
S.  Annie  and  Cephas  had  made  up  their  minds 
that  they  must  have  several  flower-pieces  from  the 
city  nighest  to  Loontown. 

One  wuz  a-goin'  to  be  a  gate  ajar,  and  one  wuz  to 
be  a  gate  wide  open,  and  one  wuz  to  be  a  big  book. 
Cephas  asked  what  book  I  thought  would  be  pref 
erable  to  represent.  And  I  mentioned  the  Bible. 

But  Cephas  sez,  "  No,  he  didn't  think  he  would 
have  a  Bible ;  he  didn't  think  it  would  be  appropri 
ate,  seein'  the  deceased  wuz  a  lawyer."  He  said 
"he  hadn't  quite  made  up  his  mind  what  book  to 
have.  But  anyway  it  wuz  to  be  in  flowers — beauti 
ful  flowers."  Another  piece  wuz  to  be  his  name  in 
white  flowers  on  a  purple  background  of  pansies. 
His  name  wuz  Wellington  Napoleon  Bonaparte 
Hardiman.  And  I  sez  to  Cephas — 


134  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

"To  save  expense,  you  will  probable  have  the 
moneygram  W.  N.  B.  H.?" 

"  Oh,  no,"  sez  he. 

Sez  I,  "Then  the  initials  of  his  given  names, 
and  the  last  name  in  full." 

"  Oh,  no,"  he  said  ;  "  it  vvuz  S.  Annie's  wish,  and 
hisen,  that  the  hull  name  should  be  put  on.  They 
thought  it  would  show  more  respect/' 

I  sez,  "  Where  Wellington  is  now,  that  hain't  a 
goin'  to  make  any  difference,  and,"  sez  I,  "  Cephas, 
flowers  are  dretful  high  this  time  of  year,  and  it  is  a 
long  name." 

But  Cephas  said  agin  that  he  didn't  care  for  ex 
pense,  so  long  as  respect  wuz  done  to  the  memory 
of  the  deceased.  He  said  that  he  and  S.  Annie  both 
felt  that  it  wuz  their  wish  to  have  the  funeral  go 
ahead  of  any  other  that  had  ever  took  place  in  Loon- 
town  or  Jonesville.  He  said  that  S.  Annie  felt  that 
it  wuz  all  that  wuz  left  her  now  in  life,  the  memory 
of  such  a  funeral  as  he  deserved. 

Sez  I,  "There  is  his  children  left  for  her  to  live 
for,"  sez  I — "  three  little  bits  of  his  own  life,  for  her 
to  nourish,  and  cherish,  and  look  out  for." 

"  Yes,"  sez  Cephas,  "  and  she  will  do  that  nobly, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       135 

and  I  will  help  her.  They  are  all  goin'  to  the  fu 
neral,  too,  in  deep-black  dresses."  He  said  "  they 
wuz  too  little  to  realize  it  now,  but  in  later  and  ma- 
turer  years  it  would  be  a  comfort  to  'em  to  know 
they  had  took  part  in  such  a  funeral  as  that  wuz 
goin'  to  be,  and  wuz  dressed  in  black." 

"  Wall,"  sez  I  (in  a  quiet,  ona^sumin'  way  I 
would  gin  little  hints  of  my  mind  on  the  subject), 
"  I  am  afraid  that  will  be  about  all  the  comforts  of 
life  the  poor  little  children  will  ever  have,"  sez  I. 
"It  will  be  if  you  buy  many  more  flower-pieces  and 
crape  dresses." 

Cephas  said  "  it  wouldn't  take  much  crape  for  the 
children's  dresses,  they  wuz  so  little,  only  the  baby's  ; 
that  would  have  to  be  long." 

Sez  I,  "The  baby  would  look  better  in  white, 
and  it  will  take  sights  of  crape  for  a  long  baby 
dress." 

"  Yes,  but  S.  Annie  can  use  it  afterwards  for  veils. 
She  is  very  economical ;  she  takes  it  from  me. 
And  she  feels  jest  as  I  do,  that  the  baby  must 
wear  it  in  respect  to  her  father's  memory." 

Sez  I,  "  The  baby  don't  know  crape  from  a 
clothes-pin." 


136       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

"  No,"  sez  Cephas,  "  but  in  after  years  the 
thought  of  the  respect  she  showed  will  sustain 
her." 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  I  guess  she  won't  have  much 
besides  thoughts  to  live  on,  if  things  go  on  in 
this  way." 

I  would  give  little  hints  in  this  way,  but  they 
wuzn't  took.  Things  went  right  on  as  if  I  hadn't 
spoke.  And  I  couldn't  contend,  for  truly,  as  a 
bad  little  boy  said  once  on  a  similar  occasion,  "  it 
wuzn't  my  funeral,"  so  I  had  to  set  and  work  on 
that  insane  bedquilt  and  see  it  go  on.  But  I 
sithed  constant  and  frequent,  and  when  I  wuz  all 
alone  in  the  room  I  indulged  in  a  few  low  groans. 


CHAPTER  X. 

WO  dressmakers  wuz  in  the  house, 
to  stay  all  the  time  till  the  dresses 
wuz  done ;  and  clerks  would  come 
around,  anon,  if  not  oftener,  with 
packages  of  mournin'  goods,  and 
mournin'  jewelry,  and  mournin'  hand 
kerchiefs,  and  mournin'  stockings, 
and  mournin'  stockin'-supporters,  and  mournin' 
safety-pins,  and  etc.,  etc..  etc.,  etc.,  etc. 

Every  one  of  'em,  I  knew,  a-wrenchin'  boards 
oflfen  the  sides  of  that  house  that  Wellington  had 
worked  so  hard  to  get  for  his  wife  and  little  ones. 

Wall,  the  day  of  th~  funeral  come.  It  wuz  a  wet, 
drizzly  day,  but  Cephas  wuz  up  early,  to  see  that 
everything  wuz  as  he  wanted  it  to  be. 

As  fur  as  I  wuz  concerned,  I  had  done  my  duty, 
for  the  crazy  bedquilt  wuz  done ;  and  though  brains 
might  totter  as  they  looked  at  it,  I  felt  that  it 
wuzn't  my  fault.  Sally  Ann  spread  it  out  with 


138       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

complacency  over  the  lounge,  and  thanked  me,  with 
tears  in  her  eyes,  for  my  noble  deed. 

Along  quite  early  in  the  mornin',  before  the  show 
commenced,  I  went  in  to  see  Wellington. 

He  lay  there  calm  and  peaceful,  with  a  look  on 
his  face  as  if  he  had  got  away  at  last  from  a  atmos 
phere  of  show  and  sham,  and  had  got  into  the  great 
Reality  of  life. 

It  wuz  a  good  face,  and  the  worry ment  and  care 
that  folks  told  me  had  been  on  it  for  years  had  all 
faded  away.  But  the  look  of  determination,  and 
resolve,  and  bravery, — that  wuz  ploughed  too  deep 
in  his  face  to  be  smoothed  out,  even  by  the  mighty 
hand  that  had  lain  on  it.  The  resolved  look,  the 
brave  look  with  which  he  had  met  the  warfare  of 
life,  toiled  for  victory  over  want,  toiled  to  place  his 
dear  and  helpless  ones  in  a  position  of  safety, — that 
look  wuz  on  his  face  yet,  as  if  the  deathless  hope 
and  endeavor  had  gone  on  into  eternity  with 
him. 

And  by  the  side  of  him,  on  a  table,  wuz  the  big 
high  flower-pieces,  beginnin'  already  to  wilt  and 
decay. 

Wall,  it's  bein'  such  an  uncommon  bad  day,  there 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       139 

wuzn't  many  to  the  funeral.  But  we  rode  to  the 
meetin'-house  in  Loontown  in  a  state  and  splendor 
that  I  never  expect  to  again.  Cephas  had  hired 
eleven  mournin'  coaches,  and  the  day  bein'  so  bad, 
and  so  few  a-turnin'  out  to  the  funeral,  that  in  or 
der  to  occupy  all  the  coaches — and  Cephas  thought 
it  would  look  better  and  more  popular  to  have  'em 
all  occupied — we  divided  up,  and  Josiahwent  in  one, 
alone,  and  lonesome  as  a  dog,  as  he  said  afterwards 
to  me.  And  I  sot  up  straight  and  oncomfortable 
in  another  one  on  'em,  stark  alone. 

Cephas  had  one  to  himself,  and  his  wife  another 
one,  and  two  old  maids,  sisters  of  Cephas'ses  who 
always  made  a  point  of  attendin'  funerals,  they 
each  one  of  'em  had  one.  S.  Annie  and  her  chil 
dren,  of  course,  had  the  first  one,  and  then  the 
minister  had  one,  and  one  of  the  trustees  in  the 
neighborhood  had  another ;  so  we  lengthened  out 
into  quite  a  crowd,  all  a-follerin'  the  shiny  hearse, 
and  the  casket  all  covered  with  showy  plated  nails. 
I  thought  of  it  in  jest  that  way,  for  Wellington,  I 
knew,  the  real  Wellington,  wuzn't  there.  No,  he 
wuz  fur  away — as  fur  as  the  Real  is  from  the 
Unreal. 


140       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Wall,  we  filed  into  the  Loontovvn  meetin'-house 
in  pretty  good  shape.  The  same  meetin'-house  I 
had  been  sent  to  reconoiter.  But  Cephas  hadn't 
no  black  handkerchief,  and  he  looked  worried  about 
it.  He  had  shed  tears  a-tellin'  me  about  it,  what  a 
oversight  it  wuz,  while  I  wuz  a  fixin'  on  his  mournin* 
weed.  He  took  it  into  his  head  to  have  a  deeper 
weed  at  the  last  minute,  so  I  fixed  it  on.  He  had 
the  weed  come  up  to  the  top  of  his  hat  and  lap 
over.  I  never  see  so  tall  a  weed.  But  it  suited 
Cephas ;  he  said  "  he  thought  it  showed  deep  re 
spect" 

"Wall,"  sez  I,  "it  is  a  deep  weed,  anyway — the 
deepest  I  ever  see."  And  he  said  as  I  wuz  a  sewin' 
it  on,  he  a-holdin'  his  hat  for  me,  "  that  Wellington 
deserved  it ;  he  deserved  it  all." 

But,  as  I  say,  he  shed  tears  to  think  that  his 
handkerchief  wuzn't  black-bordered  He  said  "it 
wuz  a  fearful  oversight ;  it  would  probably  make 
talk." 

"  But,"  I  sez,  "  mebby  it  won't  be  noticed." 

"Yes,  it  will,"  sez  he.  "It  will  be  noticed." 
And  sez  he,  "  I  don't  care  about  myself,  but  I  am 
afraid  it  will  reflect  onto  Wellington.  I  am 


AS  A  PROCESSION   WE  WUZ   MIDDLIN*    LONG,    BUT  RUTHER  THIN.'* 


X'. 


142  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

afraid  they  will  think  it  shows  a  lack  of  respect  for 
him.  For  Wellington's  sake  I  feel  cut  down  about 
it." 

And  I  sez,  "  I  guess  where  Wellington  is  now, 
the  color  of  a  handkerchief-border  hain't  a-goin'  to 
make  much  difference  to  him  either  way." 

And  I  don't  spoze  it  wuz  noticed  much,  for 
there  wuzn't  more'n  ten  or  a  dozen  folks  there 
when  we  went  in.  We  went  in  in  Injin  file  mostly 
by  Cephas'ses  request,  so's  to  make  more  show. 
And  as  a  procession  we  wuz  middlin'  long,  but 
ruther  thin. 

The  sermon  wuz  not  so  very  good  as  to  quality, 
but  abundant  as  to  quantity.  It  wuz,  as  nigh  as  I 
could  calkerlate,  about  a  hour  and  three-quarters 
long.  Josiah  whispered  to  me  along  about  the  last 
that  "  we  had  been  there  over  seven  hours,  and  his 
legs  wuz  paralyzed." 

And  I  whispered  back  that  "  seven  hours  would 
take  us  into  the  night,  and  to  stretch  his  feet  out 
and  pinch  'em,"  which  he  did. 

But  it  wuz  long  and  tegus.  My  feet  got  to 
sleep  twice,  and  I  had  hard  work  to  wake  'em  up 
agin.  The  sermon  meant  to  be  about  Wellington, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       143 

I  s'pose  ;  he  did  talk  a  sight  about  him,  and  then  he 
kinder  branched  off  onto  politics,  and  then  the 
Inter-State  bill ;  he  kinder  favored  it,  I  thought. 

Wall,  we  all  got  drippin'  wet  a-goin'  home,  for 
Cephas  insisted  on  our  gettin'  out  at  the  grave,  for 
he  had  hired  some  uncommon  high  singers  (high 
every  way,  in  price  and  in  notes)  to  sing  at  the  grave. 

And  so  we  disembarked  in  the  drippin'  rain,  on 
the  wet  grass,  and  formed  a  procession  agin. 
And  Cephas  had  a  long  exercise  right  there  in  the 
rain.  But  the  singin'  wuz  kinder  jerky  and  curius, 
and  they  had  got  their  pay  beforehand,  so  they 
hurried  it  through.  And  one  man,  the  tenor,  who 
wuz  dretful  afraid  of  takin'  cold,  hurried  through 
his  part  and  got  through  first,  and  started  on  a  run 
for  the  carriage.  The  others  stood  their  grounds  till 
the  piece  wuz  finished,  but  they  put  on  some 
dretful  curius  quavers.  I  believe  they  had  had 
chills  ;  it  sounded  like  it. 

Take  it  altogether,  I  don't,  believe  anybody  got 
much  satisfaction  out  of  it,  only  Cephas.  S.  Annie 
sp'ilt  her  dress  and  bonnet  entirely — they  wuz  wilted 
all  down  ;  and  she  ordered  another  suit  jest  like  it 
before  she  slept. 


144       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Wall,  the  next  mornin'  early  two  men  come  with 
plans  for  monuments.  Cephas  had  telegrafted  to 
'em  to  come  with  plans  and  bid  for  the  job  of 
furnishin'  the  monument. 

And  after  a  good  deal  of  talk  on  both  sides, 
Cephas  and  S.  Annie  selected  one  that  wuz  very 
high  and  p'inted. 

The  men  stayed  to  dinner,  and  I  said  to  Cephas 
out  to  one  side — 

"  Cephas,  that  monument  is  a-goin'  to  cost  a 
sight." 

"Wall,"  sez  he,  "  we  can't  raise  too  high  a  one. 
Wellington  deserved  it  all." 

Sez  I,  "Won't  that  and  all  these  funeral  ex 
penses  take  about  all  the  money  he  left  ?" 

"  Oh,  no  !"  sez  he.  "  He  had  insured  his  life  for 
a  large  amount,  and  it  all  goes  to  his  wife  and 
children.  He  deserves  a  monument  if  a  man  ever 
did." 

"  But,"  sez  I,  "don't  you  believe  that  Wellington 
would  ruther  have  S.  Annie  and  the  children  settled 
down  in  a  good  little  home  with  sumthin'  left  to  take 
care  of  'em,  than  to  have  all  this  money  spent  in 
perfectly  useless  things  ?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       145 

"Useless/"  sez  Cephas,  turnin'  red.  "Why," 
sez  he,  "  if  you  wuzn't  a  near  relation  I  should 
resent  that  speech  bitterly/' 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  what  do  all  these  flowers,  and 
empty  carriages,  and  silver-plated  nails,  and  crape, 
and  so  forth — what  does  it  all  amount  to  ?" 

"  Respect  and  honor  to  his  memory,"  sez  Cephas, 
proudly. 

Sez  I,"  Such  a  life  as  Wellington's  had  them  ;  no 
body  could  take  'em  away  nor  deminish  'em.  Such 
a  brave,  honest  life  is  crowned  with  honor  and 
respect  any  way.  It  don't  need  no  crape,  nor 
flowers,  nor  monuments  to  win  'em.  And,  at  the 
same  time,"  sez  I  dreamily,  "  if  a  man  is  mean,  no 
amount  of  crape,  or  flower-pieces,  or  flowery  ser 
mons,  or  obituries,  is  a-goin'  to  cover  up  that  mean 
ness.  A  life  has  to  be  lived  out-doors  as  it  were ;  it 
can't  be  hid.  A  string  of  mournin'  carriages,  no 
matter  how  long,  hain't  a-goin'  to  carry  a  dishonor 
able  life  into  honor,  and  no  grave,  no  matter  how 
low  and  humble  it  is,  is  a-goin'  to  cover  up  a 
honorable  life. 

"  Such  a  life  as  Wellington's  don't  need  no  monu 
ment  to  carry  up  the  story  of  his  virtues  into  the 


146       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

heavens ;  it  is  known  there  already.  And  them 
that  mourn  his  loss  don't  need  cold  marble  words 
to  recall  his  goodness  and  faithfulness.  The  heart 
where  the  shadow  of  his  eternal  absence  has  fell 
don't  need  crape  to  make  it  darker. 

"  Wellington  wouldn't  be  forgot  if  S.  Annie  wore 
pure  white  from  day  today.  No,  nobody  that  knew 
Wellington,  from  all  I  have  hearn  of  him,  needs 
crape  to  remind  'em  that  he  wuz  once  here  and  now 
is  gone. 

"  Howsomever,  as  fur  as  that  is  concerned,  I  always 
feel  that  mourners  must  do  as  they  are  a  mind  to 
about  crape,  with  fear  and  tremblin' — that  is,  if  they 
are  well  off,  and  can  do  as  they  are  a  mind  to ;  and 
the  same  with  monuments,  flowers,  empty  coaches, 
etc.  But  in  this  case,  Cephas  Bodley,  I  wouldn't  be 
a  doin'  my  duty  if  I  didn't  speak  my  mind.  When 
I  look  at  these  little  helpless  souls  that  are  left  in  a 
cold  world  with  nothin'  to  stand  between  them  and 
want  but  the  small  means  their  pa  worked  so  hard 
for  and  left  for  the  express  purpose  of  takin'  care  of 
'em, it  seems  to  me  a  foolish  thing,  and  a  cruel  thing, 
to  spend  all  that  money  on  what  is  entirely  onnec- 
essary." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       147 

"  Onnecessary !"  sez  Cephas,  angrily.  "  Agin  I 
say,  Josiah  Allen's  wife,  that  if  it  wuzn't  for  our 
close  relationship  I  should  turn  on  you.  A  worm 
will  turn,"  sez  he,  "  if  it  is  too  hardly  trampled  on." 

"I  hain't  trampled  on  you,"  sez  I,  "  nor  hain't  had 
no  idea  on't  I  wuz  only  statin'  the  solemn  facts 
and  truth  of  the  matter.  And  you  will  see  it  some 
time,  Cephas  Bodley,  if  you  don't  now." 

Sez  Cephas,  "The  worm  has  turned,  Josiah 
Allen's  wife  !  Yes,  I  feel  that  I  have  got  to  look 
now  to  more  distant  relations  for  comfort  Yes, 
the  worm  has  been  stomped  on  too  heavy." 

He  looked  cold,  cold  as  a  iceickle  almost.  And  I 
see  that  jest  the  few  words  I  had  spoke,  jest  the 
slight  hints  I  had  gin,  hadn't  been  took  as  they 
should  have  been  took.  So  I  said  no  more.  For 
agin  the  remark  of  that  little  bad  boy  came  up  in 
my  mind  and  restrained  me  from  sayin'  any  more. 

Truly,  as  the  young  male  child  observed,  "it 
wuzn't  my  funeral." 

We  went  home  almost  immegiately  afterwards, 
my  heart  nearly  a-bleedin'  for  the  little  children, 
poor  little  creeters,  and  Cephas  actin'  cold  and 
distant  to  the  last. 


148       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

And  we  hain't  seen  'em  sence.  But  news  has 
come  from  them,  and  come  straight.  Josiah  heerd 
to  Jonesville  all  about  it.  And  though  it  is  hitchin' 
the  democrat  buggy  on  front  of  the  mare — to  tell 
the  end  of  the  funeral  here — yet  I  may  as  well  tell 
it  now  and  be  done  with  it. 

The  miller  at  Loontown  wuz  down  to  the  Jones 
ville  mill  to  get  the  loan  of  some  bags,  and  Josiah 
happened  to  be  there  to  mill  that  day,  and  heerd  all 
about  it. 

Cephas  had  got  the  monument,  and  the  orna 
ments  on  it  cost  fur  more  than  he  expected.  There 
wuz  a  wreath  a-runnin*  round  it  clear  from  the  bottom 
to  the  top,  and  verses  a  kinder  runnin'  up  it  at  the 
same  time.  And  it  cost  fearful.  Poetry  a-runnin* 
up,  they  say,  costs  fur  more  than  it  duz  on  a  level. 

Any  way,  the  two  thousand  dollars  that  wuz  in 
sured  on  Wellington's  life  wuzn't  quite  enough  to 
pay  for  it.  But  the  sale  of  his  law  library  and  the 
best  of  the  housen'  stuff  paid  it  The  nine  hundred 
he  left  went,  every  mite  of  it,  to  pay  the  funeral  ex 
penses  and  mournin'  for  the  family. 

And  as  bad  luck  always  follers  on  in  a  proces 
sion,  them  mortgages  of  Cephas'ses  all  run  out  sort  o' 


CARRIED  TO  THE  COUNTY  POOR  HOUSE. 


150       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

together.  His  creditors  sold  him  out,  and  when  his 
property  wuz  all  disposed  of  it  left  him  over  four 
teen  hundred  dollars  in  debt 

The  creditors  acted  perfectly  greedy,  so  they  say 
— took  everything  they  could ;  and  one  of  the 
meanest  ones  took  that  insane  bedquilt  that  I  fin 
ished.  That  wuz  mean.  They  say  Sally  Ann 
crumpled  right  down  when  that  wuz  took.  Some  say 
that  they  got  hold  of  that  tall  weed  of  Cephas'ses, 
and  some  dispute  it ;  some  say  that  he  wore  it  on 
the  last  ride  he  took  in  Loontown. 

But,  howsomever,  Cephas  wuz  took  sick,  Sally 
Ann  wuzn't  able  to  do  anything  for  their  support, 
S.  Annie  wuz  took  down  with  the  typhus,  and  so  it 
happened  the  very  day  the  monument  wuz  brought 
to  the  Loontown  cemetery,  Cephas  Bodley's  folks 
wuz  carried  to  the  county  house,  S.  Annie,  the  chil 
dren  and  all. 

And  it  happened  dretful  curius,  but  the  town 
hired  that  very  team  that  drawed  the  monument 
there,  to  take  the  family  back. 

It  wuz  a  good  team. 

The  monument  wuzn't  set  up,  for  they  lacked 
money  to  pay  for  the  underpinnin'  1  (Wuz  n't  it 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       151 

curius,  Cephas  Bodley  never  would  think  of  the 
underpinnin'  to  anything?)  But  it  lay  there  by  the 
side  of  the  road,  a  great  white  shape; 

And  they  say  the  children  wuz  skairt,  and  cried 
when  they  went  by  it — cried  and  wept. 

But  I  believe  it  wuz  because  they  wuz  cold  and 
hungry  that  made  'em  cry.  I  don't  believe  it  wuz 
the  monument. 


CHAPTER  XL 

FEW  days  follerin'  on  and 
ensuin'  after  this  eppisode, 
Submit  Tewksbury  wuz  a 
takin'  supper  with  me.  She 
had  come  home  with  me  from  the  meetin'  house 
where  we  had  been  to  work  all  day. 

I  had  urged  her  to  stay,  for  she  lived  a  mile  further 
on  the  road,  and  had  got  to  walk  home  afoot. 

And  she  hain't  any  too  well  off,  Submit  hain't — 
she  has  to  work  hard  for  every  mite  of  food  she 
eats,  and  clothes  she  wears,  and  fuel  and  lights, 
etc.,  etc. 

So  I  keep  her  to  dinners  and  suppers  all  I  can, 
specially  when  we  are  engaged  in  meetin'  house 
work,  for  as  poor  as  Submit  is,  she  will  insist  on 
doin'  for  the  meetin'  house  jest  as  much  as  any 
other  female  woman  in  Jonesville. 

She  is  quite  small  boneded,  and  middlin'  good 
lookin'  for  a  women  of  her  years.  She  has  got  big 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


153 


dark  eyes,  very  soft  and  mellow  lookin'  in  expres 
sion — and  a  look  deep  down  into  'em,  as  if  she  had 
been  waitin'  for  something,  for  some  time.  Her 


SUBMIT  TEWKSBURY. 


hair  is  gettin'  quite  gray  now,  but  its  original  color 
was  auburn,  and  she  has  got  quite  a  lot  of  it — 
kinder  crinkly  round  her  forward.  Her  complex 
ion  is  pale. 


I  $4  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

She  is  a  very  good  lookin'  woman  yet,  might 
marry  any  day  of  the  week  now,  I  hain't  no  doubt 
of  it  She  is  a  single  woman,  but  is  well  thought  on 
in  Jonesville,  and  the  southern  part  of  Zoar,  where 
she  has  relatives  on  her  mother's  side. 

She  has  had  chances  to  my  certain  knowledge 
(widowers  and  such). 

But  if  all  the  men  in  the  world  should  come  and 
stand  in  rows  in  front  of  her  gate  with  gilded 
crowns  in  their  hands  all  ready  to  crown  her,  and 
septers  all  ready  for  her  to  grasp  holt  of,  and  wield 
over  the  world,  she  would  refuse  every  one  of  'em. 

She  has  had  a  disappointment,  Submit  has.  And 
she  looked  at  the  world  so  long  through  tears,  that 
the  world  got  to  lookin'  sorto'  dim  like  and  shadowy 
to  her,  and  the  whole  men  race  looked  to  her  fur  off 
and  misty,  as  folks  will  when  you  look  at  'em 
through  a  rain. 

She  couldn't  marry  one  of  them  shadows  of  men, 
if  she  tried,  and  she  hain't  never  tried.  No,  her 
heart  always  has  been,  and  is  now,  fur  away,  a-t rave  1- 
lin'  through  unknown  regions,  unknown,  and  yet 
more  real  to  her  than  Jonesville  or  Zoar,  a-follerin' 
the  one  man  in  the  world  who  is  a  reality  to  her. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  155 

Submit  wuz  engaged  to  a  young  Methodist  min 
ister  by  the  name  of  Samuel  Danker.  I  remember 
him  well.  A  good  lookin'  young  fellow  at  the  time, 
with  blue  eyes  and  light  hair,  ruther  long  and  curly, 
and  kinder  wavin'  back  from  his  forward,  and  a  deep 
spiritual  look  in  his  eyes.  In  fact,  his  eyes  looked 
right  through  the  fashions  and  follys  of  the  civilized 
world,  into  the  depths  of  ignorance,  rivers  of  ruin 
and  despair,  that  wuz  a-washin'  over  a  human,  race, 
black  jungles  where  naked  sin  and  natural  depravi 
ties  crouched  hungry  for  victims. 

Samuel  Danker  felt  that  he  had  got  to  go  into 
heathen  lands  as  a  missionary.  He  wuz  engaged 
to  Submit,  and  loved  her  dearly,  and  he  urged  her 
to  go  too. 

But  Submit  had  a  invalid  father  on  her  hands, 
a  bed  rid  grandfather,  and  three  young  brothers,  too 
young  to  earn  a  thing,  and  they  all  on  'em  together 
hadn't  a  cent  of  money  to  their  names.  They  had 
twenty-five  acres  of  middlin'  poor  land,  and  a  old 
house. 

Wall,  Submit  felt  that  she  couldn't  leave  these 
helpless  ones  and  go  to  more  foreign  heathen  lands. 
So,  with  a  achin'  heart,  she  let  Samuel  Danker  go 


1 56  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

from  her,  for  he  felt  a  call,  loud,  and  she  couldn't 
counsel  him  to  shet  up  his  ears,  or  put  cotton  into 
'em.  Submit  Tewksbury  had  always  loved  and 
worked  for  the  Methodist  meetin'  house  (she  jined 
it  on  probation  when  she  wuz  thirteen).  But  al 
though  she  always  had  been  extremely  liberal  in 
givin',  and  had  made  a  practice  of  contributin'  every 
cent  she  could  spare  to  the  meetin'  house,  it  wuz 
spozed  that  Samuel  Danker  wuz  the  biggest  of- 
ferin'  she  had  ever  give  to  it 

Fur  it  wuz  known  that  he  went  to  her  the  night 
before  he  sot  sail,  took  supper  with  her,  and  told  her 
she  should  decide  the  matter  for  him,  whether  he 
went  or  whether  he  staid. 

It  wuz  spozed  his  love  for  Submit  wuz  so  great 
that  it  made  him  waver  when  the  time  come  that 
he  must  leave  her  to  her  lot  of  toil  and  sacrifice  and 
loneliness. 

But  Submit  loved  the  Methodist  meetin'  house  to 
that  extent,  she  leaned  so  hard  on  the  arm  of  Duty, 
that  she  nerved  up  her  courage  anew,  refused  to 
accept  the  sacrifice  of  his  renunciation,  bid  him  go 
to  his  great  work,  and  quit  himself  like  a  man — 
told  him  she  would  always  love  him,  pray  for  him, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  157 

be  constant  to  him.  And  she  felt  that  the  Master 
they  both  wanted  to  serve  would  some  day  bring 
him  back  to  her. 

So  he  sailed  away  to  his  heathens — and  Submit 
stayed  to  home  with  her  five  helpless  males  and  her 
achin'  heart.  And  if  I  had  to  tell  which  made  her 
the  most  trouble,  I  couldn't  to  save  my  life. 

She  knew  the  secret  of  her  achin'  heart,  and  the 
long  dark  nights  she  kep  awake  with  it.  The  neigh- 
bers  couldn't  understand  that  exactly,  for  there 
hain't  no  language  been  discovered  yet  that  will 
give  voice  to  the  silent  crys  of  a  breakin'  heart,  a 
tender  heart,  a  constant  heart,  cryin'  out  acrost  the 
grayness  of  dreary  days  acrost  the  blackness  of 
lonely  nights. 

But  we  could  see  her  troubles  with  the  peevish 
paralasys  of  age,  with  the  tremendus  follys  of  un 
disciplined  youth. 

But  Submit  took  care  of  the  hull  caboodle  of  'em  ; 
worked  out  some  by  days'  works,  to  get  more  nec 
essaries  for  'em  than  the  poor  little  farm  would  bring 
in  ;  nursed  the  sick  on  their  sick-beds  and  on  their 
death-beds,  till  she  see  'em  into  Heaven — or  that  is 
where  we  spoze  they  went  to,  bein*  deservin'  old 


158  SAMANTIIA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

males  both  on  'em,  her  father  and  her  grandfather, 
and  in  full  connectin  with  the  Methodist  Episcopel 
meetin'  house. 

She  took  care  of  her  young  brothers,  patient  with 
'em  always,  ready  to  mend  bad  rents  in  their  clothin' 
and  their  behavior — tryin'  to  prop  up  their  habits 
and  their  morals,  givin'  'em  all  the  schoolin'  she 
could,  givin'  'em  all  a  good  trade,  all  but  the  young 
est,  him  she  kep  with  her  always  till  the  Lord  took 
him  (scarlet  fever),  took  him  to  learn  the  mys- 
terius  trade  of  the  immortals. 

Submit  had  a  hard  fit  of  sickness  after  that.  And 
when  she  got  up  agin,  there  wuz  round  her 
pale  forward  a  good  rhany  white  hairs  that 
wuz  orburn  before  the  little  boy  went  away  from 
her. 

Sense  that,  the  other  boys  have  married,  and  Sub 
mit  has  lived  alone  in  the  old  farm-house,  lettin' 
the  farm  out  on  shares.  It  is  all  run  down ;  she 
don't  get  much  from  it ;  it  don't  yield  much  but 
trouble  and  burdocks,  but  as  little  as  she  gets,  she 
always  will,  as  I  say,  do  her  full  share,  and  more 
than  her  share,  for  the  meetin'  house. 

Some    think    it   is  on  account  of  her   inherient 


"HE  TOOK   SUPPER  WITH  HER   FOR  THE   LAST  TIME." 


l6o       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

goodness,  and  some  think  it  is  on  account  of  Sam 
uel  Danker. 

We  all  spose  she  hain't  forgot  Samuel.  And  they 
do  say  that  every  year  when  the  day  comes  round, 
that  he  took  supper  with  her  for  the  last  time,  she 
puts  a  plate  on  for  him — the  very  one  he  eat  on  last 
— a  pink  edged  chiny  plate,  with  gilt  sprigs,  the 
last  one  left  of  her  mother's  first  set  of  chiny. 

That  is  what  they  say>  I  hain't  never  seen  the 
plate. 

It  is  now  about  twenty  years  sense  Samuel  Dan 
ker  went  to  heathen  lands.  And  as  it  wuz  a  man- 
eatin'  tribe  he  went  to  preach  to,  and  as  he  hain't 
been  heern  of  from  that  day  to  this,  it  is  spozed  that 
they  eat  him  up  some  years  ago. 

But  it  is  thought  that  Submit  hain't  gin  up  hope 
yet.  We  spoze  so,  but  don't  know,  on  account  of 
her  never  sayin'  anything  on  the  subject.  But  we 
judge  from  the  plate. 

Wall,  as  I  say  (and  I  have  episoded  fearfully, 
fearfully),  Submit  took  supper  with  me  that  night. 
And  after  Josiah  had  put  out  his  horse  (he  had  been 
to  Jonesville  for  the  evenin'  mail,  and  stopped  for  us 
at  the  meetin'  house  on  his  way  back),  he  took  the 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  l6l 

World  out  of  his  pocket,  and  perused  it  for  some 
time,  and  from  that  learned  the  great  news  that 
wimmen  wuz  jest  about  to  be  held  up  agin,  to  see 
if  her  strength  wuz  sufficient  to  set  on  the  Confer 
ence. 

And  oh  !  how  Josiah  Allen  went  on  about  it.  to 
Submit  and  me,  all  the  while  we  wuz  a  eatin'  sup 
per — and  for  more'n  a  hour  afterwuds.  ••'..  . 


CHAPTER  XII. 

UBMIT  wuz  very  skairt  to 
heern  him  go  on  (she  felt 
more  nervous  on  account  of 
an  extra  hard  day's  work),  and 
^  myself  wuz  beat  out,  but  I 
wuzn't  afraid  at  all  of  him, 
though  he  did  go  on  elegant, 
and  dretful  empressive  and 
even  skairful. 
He  stood  up  on  the  same  old  ground  that  men 
have  always  stood  up  on,  the  ground  of  man's  great 
strength  and  capability,  and  wimmen's  utter  weak 
ness,  helplessness,  and  incapacity.  Josiah  enlarged 
almost  wildly  on  the  subject  of  how  high,  how  in- 
accessibley  lofty  the  Conference  wuz,  and  the  utter 
impossibility  of  a  weak,  helpless,  fragaile  bein'  like 
a  women  ever  gettin'  up  on  it,  much  less  settin'  on  it. 
And  then,  oh  how  vividly  he  depictered  it,  how 
be  and  every  other  male  Methodist  in  the  land 
loved  wimmen  too  well,  worshipped  'em  too  deeply 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  163 

to  put  such  a  wearin'  job  onto  'em.  Oh  how  Josiah 
Allen  soared  up  in  eloquence.  Submit  shed  tears,  or, 
that  is,  I  thought  she  did — I  see  her  wipe  her  eyes 
any  way.  Some  think  that  about  the  time  the  Sam 
uel  Danker  anniversary  comes  round,  she  is  more 
nervous  and  deprested.  It  wuz  very  near  now,  and 
take  that  with  her  hard  work  that  day,  it  accounts 
some  for  her  extra  depression — though,  without  any 
doubt,  it  wuz  Josiah's  talk  that  started  the  tears. 

I  couldn't  bear  to  see  Submit  look  so  mournful 
and  deprested,  and  so,  though  I  wuz  that  tired  my 
self  that  I  could  hardly  hold  my  head  up,  yet  I  did 
take  my  bits  in  my  teeth,  as  you  may  say,  and  asked 
him — 

What  the  awful  hard  job  wuz  that  he  and  other 
men  wuz  so  anxus  to  ward  offen  wimmen. 

And  he  sez,  "  Why,  a  settin'  on  the  Conference." 

And  I  sez,  "  I  don't  believe  that  is  such  a  awful 
hard  job  to  tackle." 

"  Yes,  indeed,  it  is,"  sez  Josiah  in  his  most  skair- 
ful  axent,  "  yes,  it  is." 

And  he  shook  his  head  meenin'ly  and  impressively, 
and  looked  at  me  and  Submit  in  as  mysterius  and 
strange  a  way,  es  I  have  ever  been  looked  at  in  my 


164       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

life,  and  I  have  had  dretful  curius  looks  cast  onto 
me,  from  first  to  last.  And  he  sez  in  them  deep 
impressive  axents  of  hisen, 

"  You  jest  try  it  once,  and  see — I  have  sot  on  it, 
and  I  know." 

Josiah  wuz  sent  once  as  a  delegate  to  the  Meth 
odist  Conference,  so  I  spozcd  he  did  know. 

But  I  sez,  "  Why  you  come  home  the  second 
day  when  you  sot  as  happy  as  a  king,  and  you  told 
me  how  you  had  rested  off  durin'  the  two  days,  and 
how  you  had  visited  round  at  Uncle  Jenkins'es,  and 
Cousin  Henn's,  and  you  said  that  you  never  had 
had  such  a  good  time  in  your  hull  life,  as  you  did 
when  you  wuz  a  settin'.  You  looked  as  happy  as  a 
king,  and  acted  so." 

Josiah  looked  dumbfounded  for  most  a  quarter 
of  a  minute.  For  he  knew  my  words  wuz  as  true 
es  anything  ever  sot  down  in  Matthew,  Mark,  or 
Luke,  or  any  of  the  other  old  patriarks.  He  knew 
it  wuz  Gospel  truth,  that  he  had  boasted  of  his  good 
times  a  settin',  and  as  I  say  for  nearly  a  quarter  of  a 
minute  he  showed  plain  signs  of  mortification. 

But  almost  imegietly  he  recovered  himself,  and 
went  on  with  the  doggy  obstinacy  of  his  sect  : 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       165 

"  Oh,  wall !  Men  can  tackle  hard  jobs,  and  get 
some  enjoyment  out  of  it  too,  when  it  is  in  the  line  of 
duty.  One  thing  that  boys  em'  up,  and  makes  em' 
happy,  is  the  thought  that  they  are  a  keepin'  trouble 
and  care  offen  wimmen.  That  is  a  sweet  thought 
to  men,  and  always  wuz.  And  there  wuz  great 
strains  put  onto  our  minds,  us  men  that  sot,  that 
wimmen  couldn't  be  expected  to  grapple  with,  and 
hadn't  ort  to  try  to.  It  wuz  a  great  strain  onto 


us." 


"  What  was  the  nater  of  the  strain  ?"  sez  I.  "  I 
didn't  know  as  you  did  a  thing  only  sot  still  there 
and  go  to  sleep.  You  wuz  fast  asleep  there  most 
the  hull  of  the  time,  for  it  come  straight  to  me  from 
them  that  know.  And  all  that  Deacon  Bobbet 
did  who  went  with  you  wuz  to  hold  up  his  hand 
two  or  three  times  a  votin'.  I  shouldn't  think  that 
wuz  so  awful  wearin'. " 

And  agin  I  sez,  "  What  wuz  the  strain  ?" 
But  Josiah  didn't  answer,  for  that  very  minute  he 
remembered  a  pressin'  engagement  he  had  about 
borrowin'  a  plow.  He  said  he  had  got  to  go  up  to 
Joe  Charnick's  to  get  his  plow.  (/  don't  believe 
he  wanted  a  plow  that  time  of  night.) 


l66  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

But  he  hurried  away  from  the  spot  And  soon 
after  Submit  went  home  lookin'  more  deprested 
and  down-casted  than  ever. 

And  Josiah  Allen  didn't  get  home  till  late  at 
night.  I  dare  persume  to  say  it  wuz  as  late  as  a 
quarter  to  nine  when  that  man  got  back  to  the  bos 
om  of  his  family. 

And  I  sot  there  all  alone,  and  a-meditatin'  on 
things,  and  a-wonderin'  what  under  the  sun  he  wuz 
a-traipsin  up  to  Joe  Charnick's  for  at  that  time  of 
night,  and  a-worryin'  some  for  fear  he  wuzVkeepin' 
Miss  Charnick  up,  and  a-spozin'  in  my  mind  what 
Miss  Charnick  would  do,  to  get  along  with  the 
meetin'  house,  and  the  Conference  question,  if  she 
wuz  a  member.  (She  is  a  very  sensible  woman, 
Jenette  Charnick  is,  very,  and  a  great  favorite  with 
me,  and  others.) 

And  I  got  to  thinkin*  how  prosperus  and  happy 
she  is  now,  and  how  much  she  had  went  through. 
And  I  declare  the  hull  thing  come  back  to  me,  all 
the  strange  and  curius  circumstances  connected  with 
her  courtship  and  marriage,  and  I  thought  it  all  out 
agin,  the  hull  story,  from  beginnin'  to  end. 

The  way  it  begun  wuz — and  the  way  Josiah  Allen 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  SRfeTHREN. 

and  me  come  to  have  any  connectin  with  the  story 
wuz  as  Toilers  : 

Some  time  ago,  and  previus,  we  had  a  widder 
come  to  stay  with  us  a  spell,  she  that  wuz  Tamer 
Shelmadine,  Miss  Trueman  Pool  that  now  is. 

Her  husband  died  several  years  ago,  and  left  her 
not  over  and  above  well  off.  And  so  she  goes  round 
a-visitin',  and  has  went  ever  sense  his  death.  And 
finds  sights  of  faults  with  things  wherever  she  is> 
sights  of  it 

Trueman  wuz  Josiah's  cousin,  on  his  own  side,  and 
I  always  made  a  practice  of  usin'  her  quite  well 
She  used  to  live  neighbor  to  me  before  I  wuz  mar 
ried,  and  she  come  and  stayed  nine  weeks. 

She  is  a  tall  spindlin'  woman,  a  Second  Advent- 
ist  by  perswasion,  and  weighs  about  ninety-nine 
pounds. 

Wall,  as  I  say,  she  means  middlin'  well,  and  wouM 
be  quite  agreeable  if  it  wuzn't  for  a  habit  she  has  of 
thinkin'  what  she  duz  is  a  leetle  better  than  anybody 
else  can  do,  and  wantin'  to  tell  a  leetle  better  story 
than  anybody  else  can. 

Now  she  thinks  she  looks  better  than  I  do.  But 
Josiah  sez  she  can't  begin  with  me  for  looks,  and 


1 68 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


I  don't  spoze  she  can,  though  of  course  it  hain't  to 
be  expected  that  I  would  want  it  told  of  that  I  said 
so.  No,  I  wouldn't  want  it  told  of  pro  or  con,  es- 


41  SHE  is  A  TALL  SPINDLIN'  WOMAN." 

pecially  con.     But  I  know  Josiah  Allen  has  always 

been  called  a  pretty  good  judge  of  wimmen's  looks. 

And  now  she  thinks  she  can  set  hens  better  than 

I  can — and  make  better  riz  biscuit.     She  jest  the 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       169 

same  as  told  me  so.  Any  way,  the  first  time  I 
baked  bread  after  she  got  here,  she  looked  down  on 
my  loaves  real  haughty,  yet  with  a  pityin'  look,  and 
sez: 

"  It  is  very  good  for  yeast,  but  I  always  use  milk 
emptin's." 

And  she  kinder  tosted  her  head,  and  sort  o'  swept 
out  of  the  room,  not  with  a  broom,  no,  she  would 
scorn  to  sweep  out  a  room  with  a  broom  or  help 
me  in  any  way,  but  she  sort  o'  swept  it  out  with  her 
mean.  But  I  didn't  care,  I  knew  my  bread  wuz 
good. 

Now  if  anybody  is  sick,  she  will  always  tell  of 
times  when  she  has  been  sicker.  She  boasts  of 
layin'  three  nights  and  two  days  in  a  fit.  But  we 
don't  believe  it,  Josiah  and  me  don't.  That  is,  we 
don't  believe  she  lay  there  so  long,  a-runnin'. 

We  believe  she  come  out  of  'em  occasionally. 

But  you  couldn't  get  her  to  give  off  a  hour  or 
a  minute  of  the  time.  Three  nights  and  two  days 
she  lay  there  a-runnin',  so  she  sez,  and  she  has 
said  it  so  long,  that  we  spoze,  Josiah  and  me  do, 
that  she  believes  it  herself  now. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

URIUS,  hain't  it?  How  folks 
will  get  to  tellin'  things,  and 
finally  tell  'em  so  much,  that 
finally  they  will  get  to  be- 
lievin'  of  'em  themselves — 
boastin'  of  bein'  rich,  etc.,  or  bad.  Now  I  have  seen 
folks  boast  over  that,  act  real  haughty  because  they 
had  been  bad  and  got  over  it.  I've  seen  temper 
ance  lecturers  and  religious  exhorters  boast  sights 
and  sights  over  how  bad  they  had  been.  But  they 
wuzn't  tellin'  the  truth,  though  they  had  told  the 
same  thing  so  much  that  probable  they  had  got  to 
thinkin'  so. 

But  in  the  case  of  one  man  in  petickuler,  I 
found  out  for  myself,  for  I  didn't  believe  what  he 
wuz  a  sayin'  any  of  the  time. 

Why,  he  made  out  in  evenin'  meetin's,  protracted 
and  otherwise,  that  he  had  been  a  awful  villain. 
Why  no  pirate  wuz  ever  wickeder  than  he  made 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


171 


himself  out  to  be,  in  the  old  times  before  he  turned 
round  and  become  pious. 

But  I  didn't  believe  it,  for  he  had  a   good    look 


"HlS   FACE   WUZ   A   GOOD   MORAL   FACE." 

to  his  face,  all  but  the    high  headed  look   he  had, 
and  sort  o'  vain. 

But  except  this  one  look,  his  face  wuz  a  good 
moral  face,  and  I  knew  that  no  man  could  cut  up 
and  act  as  he  claimed  that  he  had,  without  carryin' 


1/2       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

some  marks  on  the  face  of  the  cuttin'  up,  and  also 
of  the  actin'. 

And  so,  as  it  happened,  I  went  a  visitin'  (to 
Josiah's  relations)  to  the  very  place  where  he 
had  claimed  to  do  his  deeds  of  wild  badness,  and 
I  found  that  he  had  always  been  a  pattern  man — 
never  had  done  a  single  mean  act,  so  fur  as  wuz 
known. 

Where  wuz  his  boastin'  then  ?  As  the  Bible  sez. 
why,  it  wuz  all  vain  talk.  He  had  done  it  to  get 
up  a  reputation.  He  had  done  it  because  he  wuz 
big  feelin'  and  vain.  And  he  had  got  so  haughty 
over  it,  and  had  told  of  it  so  much,  that  I  spoze  he 
believed  in  it  himself. 

Curius  !  hain't  it  ?  But  I  am  a  eppisodin',  and  to 
resoom.  Trueman's  wife  would  talk  jest  so,  jest  so 
haughty  and  high  headed,  about  the  world  comin' 
to  a  end. 

She'd  dispute  with  everybody  right  up  and  down 
if  they  disagreed  with  her — and  specially  about 
that  religion  of  hern.  How  sot  she  wuz,  how  ex 
tremely  sot. 

But  then,  it  hain't  in  me,  nor  never  wuz,  to  fight 
anybody  for  any  petickuler  religion  of  theirn. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  1/3 

There  is  sights  and  sights  of  different  religions 
round  amongst  different  friends  of  mine,  and  most 
all  on  'em  quite  good  ones. 

That  is,  they  are  agreeable  to  the  ones  who  be 
lieve  in  'em,  and  not  over  and  above  disagreeable 
to  me. 

Now  it  seems  to  me  that  in  most  all  of  these 
different  doctrines  and  beliefs,  there  is  a  grain  of 
truth,  and  if  folks  would  only  kinder  hold  onto 
that  grain,  and  hold  themselves  stiddy  while  they 
held  onto  it,  they  would  be  better  off. 

But  most  folks  when  they  go  to  follerin'  off  a 
doctrine,  they  foller  too  fur,  they  hain't  megum 
enough. 

Now,  for  instance,  when  you  go  to  work  and 
whip  anybody,  or  hang  'em,  or  burn  'em  up  for  not 
believin'  as  you  do,  that  is  goin'  too  fur. 

It  has  been  done  though,  time  and  agin,  in  the 
world's  history,  and  mebby  will  be  agin. 

But  it  hain't  reasonable.  Now  what  good  will 
doctrines  o'  any  kind  do  to  anybody  after  they  are 
burnt  up  or  choked  to  death  ? 

You  see  such  things  hain't  bein'  megum.  Be 
cause  I  can't  believe  jest  as  somebody  else  duz,  it 


174 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


hain't  for  me  to  pitch   at  'em  and  burn  'em  up,  or 
even  whip  'em. 

No,  indeed  !     And    most    probable    if  I    should 
study  faithfully  out  their   beliefs,  I    would  find  one 


EF   I    FELL   ON   A   STUN." 


grain,   or  mebby    a  grain  and  a  half  of  real  truth 
in  it. 

Now,  for  instance,  take  the  doctrines  of  Christian 
Healin',  or  Mind  Cure. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       175 

Now  I  can't  exactly  believe  that  if  I  fell  down 
and  hurt  my  head  on  a  stun — I  cannot  believe  as 
I  am  a  layin'  there,  that  I  hain't  fell,  and  there  hain't 
no  stun — and  while  I  am  a  groanin'  and  a  bathin' 
the  achin'  bruise  in  anarky  and  wormwood,  I 
can't  believe  that  there  hain't  no  such  thing  as  pain, 
nor  never  wuz. 

No,  I  can't  believe  this  with  the  present  light  I 
have  got  on  the  subject. 

But  yet,  I  have  seen  them  that  this  mind  cure 
religion  had  fairly  riz  right  up,  and  made  'em  nighei 
to  heaven  every  way — so  nigh  to  it  that  seemin'ly 
a  light  out  of  some  of  its  winders  had  lit  up  their 
faces  with  its  glowin'  repose,  its  sweet  rapture. 

I've  seen  'em,  seen  'em  as  the  Patent  Medicine 
Maker  observes  so  frequently,  tl  before  and  after 
takin'." 

Folks  that  wuz  despondent  and  hopeless,  and 
wretched  actin',  why,  this  belief  made  'em  jest 
blossom  right  out  into  a  state  of  hopefulness,  and 
calmness,  and  joy — refreshin'  indeed  to  contem 
plate. 

Wall  now,  the  idee  of  whippin'  anybody  for  be- 
lievin'  anything  that  brings  such  a  good  change  to 


176       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

'em,  and  fills  them  and  them  round  'em  with  so 
much  peace  and  happiness. 

Why,  I  wouldn't  do  it  for  a  dollar  bill.  And  as 
for  hangin'  'em,  and  brilin'  'em  on  gridirons,  etc., 
why,  that  is  entirely  out  of  the  question,  or  ort 
to  be. 

And  now,  it  don't  seem  to  me  that  I  ever  could 
make  a  tree  walk  off,  by  lookin'  at  it,  and  com- 
mandin'  it  to- — or  call  some  posys  to  fall  down  into 
my  lap,  right  through  the  plasterin' — 

Or  send  myself,  or  one  of  myselfs,  off  to  Injy, 
while  the  other  one  of  me  stayed  to  Jonesville. 

Now,  honestly  speakin',  it  don't  seem  to  me  that 
I  ever  could  learn  to  do  this,  not  at  my  age,  any  way, 
and  most  dead  with  rheumatiz  a  good  deal  of  the 
time. 

I  most  know  I  couldn't. 

But  then  agin  I  have  seen  believers  in  Theosiphy 
that  could  do  wonders,  and  seemed  indeed  to  have 
got  marvelous  control  over  the  forces  of  Natur. 

And  now  the  idee  of  my  whippin'  'em  for  it. 
Why  you  wouldn't  ketch  me  at  it. 

And  Spiritualism  now  !  I  spoze,  and  I  about  know 
that  there  are  lots  of  folks  that  won't  ever  see  into 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       I// 

any  other  world  than  this,  till  the  breath  leaves 
their  body. 

Yet  I've  seen  them,  pure  sweet  souls  too,  as  I  ever 
see,  whose  eyes  beheld  blessed  visions  withheld 
from  more  material  gaze. 

Yes,  I've  neighbored  with  about  all  sorts  of  relig- 
ius  believers,  and  never  disputed  that  they  had  a 
right  to  their  own  religion. 

And  iVe  seen  them  too  that  didn't  make  a  prac- 
tiee  of  goin'  to  any  meetin'  houses  much,  who 
lived  so  near  to  God  and  his  angels  that  they  felt 
the  touch  of  angel  hands  on  their  forwards  every 
day  of  their  lives,  and  you  could  see  the  glow 
of  the  Fairer  Land  in  their  rapt  eyes. 

They  had  outgrown  the  outward  forms  of  religion 
that  had  helped  them  at  first,  jest  as  children  out 
grow  the  primers  and  ABC  books  of  thier  child 
hood  and  advance  into  the  higher  learnin'. 

I've  seen  them  folks  i've  neighbored  with  'em. 
Human  faults  they  had,  or  God  would  have  taken 
them  to  His  own  land  before  now.  Their  imper 
fections,  I  spoze  sort  o'  anchored  'em  here  for  a  spell 
to  a  imperfect  world. 

But  you  could  see,  if  you  got   nigh   enough  to 


1/8       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

their  souls  to  see  anything  about  'em — you  could 
see  that  the  anchor  chains  wuz  slight  after  all,  and 
when  they  wuz  broke,  oh  how  lightly  and  easily 
they  would  sail  away,  away  to  the  land  that  their 
rapt  souls  inhabited  even  now. 

Yes,  iVe  seen  all  sorts  of  religius  believers  and  I 
vvuzn't  goin'  to  be  too  hard  on  Tamer  for  her 
belief,  though  I  couldn't  believe  as  she  did. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

HE  come  to  our  house  a  visitin1 
along  the  first  week  in  June,  and 
the  last  day  in  June  wuz  the  day 
they  had  sot  for  the  world  to  come 
to  an  end.  I,  myself,  didn't  believe  she  knew  posi 
tive  about  it,  and  Josiah  didn't  either.  And  I  sez 
to  her,  "  The  Bible  sez  that  it  hain't  agoin'  to  be  re 
vealed  to  angels  even,  or  to  the  Son  himself,  but 
only  to  the  Father  when  that  great  day  shall  be." 
And  sez  I  to  Trueman's  wife,  sez  I,  "  How  should 
you  be  expected  to  know  it  ?" 

Sez  she,  with  that  same  collected  together 
haughty  look  to  her,  "  My  name  wuzn't  mentioned, 
I  believe,  amongst  them  that  wuzrit  to  know  it !" 

And  of  course  I  had  to  own  up  that  it  wuzn't. 
But  good  land  !  I  didn't  believe  she  knew  a  thing 
more  about  it  than  I  did,  but  I  didn't  dispute  with 
her  much,  because  she  wuz  one  of  the  relatives  on 


180  SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

his  side — you  know  you  have  to  do  different  with 
'em  than  you  do  with  them  on  your  own  side — you 
have  to.  And  then  agin,  I  felt  that  if  it  didn't 
come  to  an  end  she  would  be  convinced  that  she 
wuz  in  the  wrong  on't,  and  if  she  did  we  should 
both  of  us  be  pretty  apt  to  know  it,  so  there  wuzn't 
much  use  in  disputin'  back  and  forth. 

But  she  wuz  firm  as  iron  in  her  belief.  And  she 
had  come  up  visitin'  to  our  home,  so's  to  be  nigh 
when  Trueman  riz.  Trueman  wuz  buried  in  the 
old  Risley  deestrict,  not  half  a  mile  from  us  on  a  back 
road.  And  she  naterally  wanted  to  be  round  at  the 
time. 

She  said  plain  to  me  that  Trueman  never  could 
seem  to  get  along  without  her.  And  though  she 
didn't  say  it  right  out,  she  carried  the  idea  (and 
Josiah  resented  it  because  Trueman  was  a  favorite 
cousin  of  his' n  on  his  own  side.)  She  jest  the 
same  as  said  right  out  that  Trueman,  if  she  wuzn't 
by  him  to  tend  to  him,  would  be  jest  as  apt  to  come 
up  wrong  end  up  as  any  way. 

Josiah  didn't  like  it  at  all. 

Wall,  she  had  lived  a  widowed  life  for  a  number 
of  years,  and  had  said  right  out,  time  and  time  agin, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       l8l 

that  she  wouldn't  marry  agin.  But  Josiah  thought, 
and  I  kinder  mistrusted  myself,  that  she  wuz  kinder 
on  the  lookout,  and  would  marry  agin  if  she  got  a 
chance — not  fierce,  you  know,  or  anything  of  that 


*'  BURIED  IN  THE  OLD  RISLEY  DEESTRICT." 

kind,  but  kinder  quietly  lookin'  out  and  standin' 
ready.  That  wuz  when  she  first  come;  but  before 
she  went  away  she  acted  fierce. 

Wall,  there  wuz  sights  of  Adventists  up  in  the 


1 82  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

Risley  deestrict,  and  amongst  the  rest  wuz  an  old 
bachelder,  Joe  Charnick. 

And  Joe  Charnick  wuz,  I  s'poze,  of  all  Advents, 
the  most  Adventy.  He  jest  knew  the  world  wuz  a 
comin'  to  a  end  that  very  day,  the  last  day  of  June, 
at  four  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  And  he  got  his 
robe  all  made  to  go  up  in.  It  wuz  made  of  a  white 
book  muslin,  and  Jenette  Finster  made  it.  Cut  it 
out  by  one  of  his  mother's  nightgowns — so  she  told 
me  in  confidence,  and  of  course  I  tell  it  jest  the 
same ;  I  want  it  kep. 

She  was  afraid  Joe  wouldn't  like  it,  if  he  knew 
she  took  the  nightgown  for  a  guide,  wantin'  it,  as  he 
did,  for  a  religious  purpose. 

But,  good  land !  as  I  told  her,  religion  or  not, 
anybody  couldn't  cut  anything  to  look  anyhow  with 
out  sumpthin'  fora  guide,  and  she  bein'  an  old  maiden 
felt  a  little  delicate  about  measurin'  him. 

His  mother  wuz  as  big  round  as  he  wuz,  her 
weight  bein'  230  by  the  steelyards,  and  she  allowed 
2  fingers  and  a  half  extra  length — Joe  is  tall.  She 
gathered  it  in  full  round  the  neck,  and  the  sleeves 
(at  his  request)  hung  down  like  wings,  a  breadth 
for  each  wing  wuz  what  she^  allowed. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       183 

Jenette  owned  up  to  me  (though  she  wouldn't 
want  it  told  of  for  the  world,  for  it  had  been  sposed 
for  years,  that  he  and  she  had  a  likin'  for  each  other, 
and  mebby  would  make  a  match  some  time,  though 
what  they  had  been  a-waitin'  for  for  the  last  10 
years  nobody  knew).  But  she  allowed  to  me  that 
when  he  got  his  robe  on,  he  wuz  the  worst  lookin' 
human  bein'  that  she  ever  laid  eyes  on,  and  -sez  she, 
for  she  likes  a  joke,  Jenette  duz  :  "  I  should  think 
if  Joe  looked  in  the  glass  after  he  got  it  on,  his 
religion  would  be  a  comfort  to  him  ;  I  should  think 
he  would  be  glad  the  world  wuz  comin'  to  a  end." 

But  he  didri t  look  at  the  glass,  Jenette  said  he 
didn't ;  he  wanted  to  see  if  it  wuz  the  right  size 
round  the  neck.  Joe  hain't  handsome,  but  he  is 
kinder  good-lookin',  and  he  is  a  good  feller  and  got 
plenty  to  do  with,  but  bein'  kinder  big-featured,  and 
tall,  and  hefty,  he  must  have  looked  like  fury  in  the 
robe.  But  he  is  liked  by  everybody,  and  everybody 
is  glad  to  see  him  so  prosperous  and  well  off. 

He  has  got  300  acres  of  good  land,  "  be  it  more 
or  less, "  as  the  deed  reads  ;  30  head  of  cows,  and 
7  head  of  horses  (and  the  hull  bodies  of  'em).  And 
a  big  sugar  bush,  over  1 100  trees,  and  a  nice  little  su- 


1 84  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

gar  house  way  up  on  a  pretty  side  hill  amongst  the  ma 
ple  trees.  A  good,  big,  handsome  dwellin'  house,  a 
sort  of  cream  color,  with  green  blinds;  big  barn,  and 
carriage  house,  etc.,  etc.,  and  everything  in  the  very 
best  of  order.  He  is  a  pattern  farmer  and  a  pattern 
son — yes,  Joe  couldn't  be  a  more  pattern  son  if  he 
acted  every  day  from  a  pattern. 

He  treats  his  mother  dretful  pretty,  from  day  to 
day.  She  thinks  that  there  hain't  nobody  like  Joe; 
and  it  wuz  s'pozed  that  Jenette  thought  so  too. 

But  Jenette  is,  and  always  wuz,  runnin'  over  with 
common  sense,  and  she  always  made  fun  and  laugh 
ed  at  Joe  when  he  got  to  talkin'  about  his  religion, 
and  about  settin'  a  time  for  the  world  to  corne  to  a 
end.  And  some  thought  that  that  wuz  one  reason 
why  the  match  didn't  go  off,  for  Joe  likes  her,  every 
body  could  see  that,  for  he  wuz  jest  such  a  great,  hon 
est,  open -hearted  feller,  that  he  never  made  any  secret 
of  it.  And  Jenette  liked  Joe  /  knew,  though  she 
fooled  a  good  many  on  the  subject.  But  she  wuz 
always  a  great  case  to  confide  in  me,  and  though 
she  didn't  say  so  right  out,  which  wouldn't  have 
been  her  way,  for,  as  the  poet  sez,  she  wuzn't  one 
"to  wear  her  heart  on  the  sleeves  of  her  bask  waist," 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       185 

still,  I  knew  as  well  es  I  wanted  to,  that  she 
thought  her  eyes  of  him.  And  old  .Miss  Charnick 
jest  about  worshipped  Jenettc,  would  have  her  with 
her,  sewin'  for  her,  and  takin*  care  of  her — she  wuz 
sick  a  good  deal,  Mother  Charnick  wuz.  And  she 
would  have  been  tickled  most  to  death  to  have  had 
Joe  marry  her  and  bring  her  right  home  there. 

And  Jenette  wuz  a  smart  little  creeter,  "smart  as 
lightnin',"  as  Josiah  always  said. 

She  had  got  along  in  years,  Jenette  had,  without 
marryin',  for  she  staid  to  hum  and  took  care  of  her 
old  father  and  mother  and  Tom.  The  other  girls 
married  off,  and  left  her  to  hum,  and  she  had 
chances,  so  it  wuz  said,  good  ones,  but  she  wouldn't 
leave  her  father  and  mother,  who  wuz  gettin'  old, 
and  kinder  bed-rid,  and  needed  her.  Her  father, 
specially,  said  he  couldn't  live,  and  wouldn't  try  to, 
if  Jenette  left  'em,  but  he  said,  the  old  gentleman 
did,  that  Jenette  should  be  richly  paid  for  her  good 
ness  to  'em. 

That  wuzn't  what  made  Jenette  good,  no,  indeed  ; 
she  did  it  out  of  the  pure  tenderness  and  sweetness 
of  her  nature  and  lovin' heart.  But  I  u$ed  to  love  to 
hear  the  old  gentleman  talk  that  way,  for  he  wuz  well 


1 86  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

off,  and  I  felt  that  so  far  as  money  could  pay  for  the 
hull  devotion  of  a  life,  why,  Jenette  would  be  looked 
out  for,  and  have  a  good  home,  and  enough  to  do 
with.  So  she  staid  to  hum,  as  I  say,  and  took  care 
of 'em  night  and  day;  sights  of  watching  and  weari 
some  care  she  had,  poor  little  creeter ;  but  she  took 
the  best  of  care  of  'em,  and  kep  'em  kinder  com 
forted  up,  and  clean,  and  brought  up  Tom,  the  young 
est  boy,  by  hand,  and  thought  her  eyes  on  him. 

And  he  wuz  a  smart  chap — awful  smart,  as  it 
proved  in  the  end  ;  for  he  married  when  he  wuz  2 1 , 
and  brought  his  wife  (a  disagreeable  creeter)  home 
to  the  old  homestead,  and  Jenette,  before  they  had 
been  there  2  weeks,  wuz  made  to  feel  that  her  room 
wuz  better  than  her  company. 

That  wuz  the  year  the  old  gentleman  died  ;  her 
mother  had  died  3  months  prior  and  beforehand. 

Her  brother,  as  I  said,  wur  smart,  and  he  and  his 
wife  got  round  the  old  man  in  some  way  and  sot 
him  against  Jenette,  and  got  everything  he  had. 

He  wuz  childish,  the  old  man  wuz  ;  used  to  try  to 
put  his  pantaloons  on  over  his  head,  and  get  his  feet 
into  his  coat  sleeves,  etc.,  etc. 

And  he   changed   his  will,  that   had  gi'n  Jenette 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       187 

half  the  property,  a  good  property,  too,  and  gi'n  it  all 
to  Tom,  every  mite  of  it,  all  but  one  dollar,  which 
Jenette  never  took  by  my  advice. 

For  I  wuz  burnin'  indignant  at  old  Mr.  Finster 
and  at  Tom.  Curius,  to  think  such  a  girl  as  Jenette 
had  been — such  a  patient,  good  creeter,  and  such  a 
good-tempered  one,  and  everything — to  think  her 
pa  should  have  forgot  all  she  had  done,  and  suffered, 
and  gi'n  up  for  'em,  and  give  the  property  all  to  that 
boy,  who  had  never  done  anything  only  to  spend 
their  money  and  make  Jenette  trouble. 

But  then,  I  s'poze  it  wuz  old  Mr.  Finster's  mind, 
or  the  lack  on't,  and  I  had  to  stand  it,  likewise  so 
did  Jenette. 

But  I  never  sot  a  foot  into  Tom  Finster's  house, 
not  a  foot  after  that  day  that  Jenette  left  it.  I 
wouldn't.  But  I  took  her  right  to  my  house,  and 
kep-her  for  9  weeks  right  along,  and  vvuz  glad  to. 

That  wuz  some  10  years  prior  and  before  this, 
and  she  had  gone  round  sevvin'  ever  sense.  And 
she  wuz  beloved  by  everybody,  and  had  gone  round 
highly  respected,  and  at  seventy-five  cents  a  day. 

Her  troubles,  and  everybody  that  knew  her,  knew 
how  many  she  had  of  'em,  but  she  kep  'em  all  to 


1 88  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

herself,  and  met  the  world  and  her  neighbors  with 
a  bright  face. 

If  she  took  her  skeletons  out  of  the  closet  to  air 
'em,  and  I  s'poze  she  did,  everybody  duz ;  they  have 
to  at  times,  to  see  if  their  bones  are  in  good  order,  if 
for  nothin'  else.  But  if  she  ever  did  take  'em  out 
and  dust  'em,  she  did  it  all  by  herself.  The  closet 
door  wuz  shet  up  and  locked  when  anybody  wuz 
round.  And  you  would  think,  by  her  bright,  laugh- 
in'  face,  that  she  never  heard  the  word  skeleton,  or 
ever  listened  to  the  rattle  of  a  bone. 

And  she  kep  up  such  a  happy,  cheerful  look  on 
the  outside,  that  I  s'poze  it  ended  by  her  bein'  cheer 
ful  and  happy  on  the  inside. 

The  stiddy,  good-natured,  happy  spirit  that  she 
cultivated  at  first  by  hard  work,  so  I  s'poze ;  but  at 
last  it  got  to  be  second  nater,  the  qualities  kinder 
struck  in  and  she  wuz  happy,  and  she  wuz  contented 
— that  is,  I  s'poze  so. 

Though  I,  who  knew  Jenette  better  than  any 
body  else,  almost,  knew  how  tuff,  how  fearful  tuff 
it  must  have  come  on  her,  to  go  round  from  home 
to  home — not  bein'  settled  down  at  home  anywhere. 
I  knew  jest  what  a  lovin'  little  home  body  she  wuz. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       189 

And  how  her  sweet  nater,  like  the  sun,  would  love 
to  light  up  one  bright  lovin'  home,  and  shine  kinder 
stiddy  there,  instead  of  glancin'  and  changin'  about 
from  one  place  to  another,  like  a  meteor. 

Some  would  have  liked  it  ;  some  like  change  and 
constant  goin'  about,  and  movin'  constantly  through 
space — but  I  knew  Jenette  wuzn't  made  on  the 
meteor  plan.  I  felt  sorry  for  Jenette,  down  deep  in 
my  heart,  I  did ;  but  I  didn't  tell  her  so  ;  no,  she 
wouldn't  have  liked  it ;  she  kep  a  brave  face  to  the 
world.  And  as  I  said,  her  comin'  wuz  looked  for 
weeks  and  weeks  ahead,  in  any  home  where  she  wuz 
engaged  to  sew  by  the  day. 

Everybody  in  the  house  used  to  feel  the  presence 
of  a  sunshiny,  cheerful  spirit.  One  that  wuz  deter 
mined  to  turn  her  back  onto  troubles  she  couldn't 
help  and  keep  her  face  sot  towards  the  Sun  of  Hap 
piness.  One  who  felt  good  and  pleasant  towards 
everybody,  wished  everybody  well.  One  who  could 
look  upon  other  folks'es  good  fortune  without  a  mite 
of  jealousy  or  spite.  One  who  loved  to  hear  her 
friends  praised  and  admired,  loved  to  see  'em  happy. 
And  if  they  had  a  hundred  times  the  good  things 
she  had,  why,  she  was  glad  for  their  sakes,  that  they 


1 9o 


SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


had  'em,  she  loved   to   see  'em   enjoy    'em,   if   she 
couldn't. 

And  she    wuz    dretful   kinder  cunnin'  and  cute, 
Jenette  wuz.      She  would    make  the  oddest  little 


"DRETFUL  KINDER  CUNNIN'  AND  CUTE,  JENETTE  wuz." 

speeches ;  keep  everybody  laughin'  round  her,  when 
she  got  to  goin'. 

Yes,  she  wuz    liked    dretful    well,    Jenette    wuz. 
Her  face  has  a  kind  of  a  pert  look  on  to  it,  her  black 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  19! 

eyes  snap,  a  good-natured  snap,  though,  and  her 
nose  turns  up  jest  enough  to  look  kinder  cunnin', 
and  her  hair  curls  all  over  her  head. 

Smart  round  the  house  she  is,  and  Mother  Char- 
nick  likes  that,  for  she  is  a  master  good  housekeep 
er.  Smart  to  answer  back  and  joke.  Joe  is  slow 
of  speech,  and  his  big  blue  eyes  won't  fairly  get  sot 
onto  anything,  before  Jenette  has  looked  it  all 
through,  and  turned  it  over,  and  examined  it  on  the 
other  side,  and  got  through  with  it. 

Wall,  she  wuz  to  work  to  Mother  Charnick's 
makin'  her  a  black  alpacka  dress,  and  four  new 
calico  ones,  and  coverin'  a  parasol. 

A  good  many  said  that  Miss  Charnick  got  dresses 
a  purpose  for  Jenette  to  make,  so's  to  keep  her 
there.  Jenette  wouldn't  stay  there  a  minute  only 
when  she  wuz  to  work,  and  as  they  always  kep  a 
good,  strong,  hired  girl,  she  knew  when  she  wuz 
needed,  and  when  she  wuzn't.  But,  of  course,  she 
couldn't  refuse  to  sew  for  her,  and  at  what  she  wuz  sot 
at,  though  she  must  have  known  and  felt  that  Miss 
Charnick  wuz  lavish  in  dresses.  She  had  42  calico 
dresses,  and  everybody  knew  it,  new  ones,  besides 
woosted.  But,  anyway,  there  she  was  a  sewin'  when 


IQ2  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

the  word  came  that  the  world  was  a  comin'  to  a 
end  on  the  3Oth  day  of  June,  at  4  o'clock  in  the  after 
noon. 

Miss  Charnick  wuz  a  believer,  but  not  to  the  ex 
tent  that  Joe  was.  For  Jeriette  asked  her  if  she 
should  stop  sewin',  not  sppsin'  that  she  would  need 
the  dresses,  specially  the  four  calico  ones,  and  the 
parasol  in  case  of  the  world's  endin'. 

And  she  told  Jenette,  and  Jenette  told  me,  so's  I 
know  it  is  true,  "  that  she  might  go  right  on,  and  get 
the  parasol  cover,  and  the  trimmins  to  the  dresses, 
cambrick,  and  linin'  and  things,  and  hooks  and 
eyes." 

And  Miss  Charnick  didn't  prepare  no  robe.  But 
Jenette  mistrusted,  though  Miss  Charnick  is  close- 
mouthed,  and  didn't  say  nothin',  but  Jenette  mis 
trusted  that  she  laid  out,  when  she  sees  signs,  to  use 
a  nightgown. 

She  had  piles  of  the  nicest  ones,  that  Jenette  had 
made  for  her  from  time  to  time,  over  28,  all  trim 
med  off  nice  enough  for  day  dresses,  so  Jenette  said, 
trimmed  with  tape  trimmin's,  some  of  'em,  and  belted 
down  in  front. 

Wall,    they    had  lots  of  meetin's  at    the    Risley 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       193 

school-house,  as  the  time  drew  near.  And  Miss 
Trueman  Pool  went  to  every  one  on  'em. 

She  had  been  too  weak  to  go  out  to  the  well,  or 
to  the  barn.  She  wanted  dretfully  to  see  some 
new  stanchils  that  Josiah  had  been  a  makin',  jest 
like  some  that  Pool  had  had  in  his  barn.  She  want 
ed  to  see  'em  dretful,  but  was  too  weak  to  walk. 
And  I  had  had  kind  of  a  tussle  in  my  own  mind, 
whether  or  not  I  should  offer  to  let  Josiah  carry 
her  out ;  but  kinder  hesitated,  thinkin'  mebby  she 
would  get  stronger. 

But  I  hain't  jealous,  not  a  mite.  It  is  known  that 
I  hain't  all  through  Jonesville  and  Loontown.  No, 
I'd  scorn  it.  I  thought  Pool's  wife  would  get  better 
and  she  did. 

One  evenin'  Joe  Charnick  came  down  to  bring 
home  Josiah's  augur,  and  the  conversation  turned 
onto  Adventin'.  And  Miss  Pool  see  that  Joe  wuz 
congenial  on  that  subject  ;  he  believed  jest  as  she 
did,  that  the  world  would  come  to  an  end  the  3oth. 
This  was  along  the  first  part  of  the  month. 

He  spoke  of  the  good  meetin's  they  wuz  a-havin' 
to  the  Risley  school-house,  and  how  he  always  attend 
ed  to  every  one  on  'em.  And  the  next  mornin'  Miss 


JOE  CHARNICK  CAME  DOWN  TO  BRING  HOME  JOSIAH'S  AUGUR." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  195 

Trueman  Pool  gin  out  that  she  wuz  a-goin'  that 
evenin'.  It  wuz  a  good  half  a*rnile  away,  and  I  re 
minded  her  that  Jostah  had  to  be  away  with  the 
team,  for  he  wuz  a-goin'  to  Loontown,  heavy  loaded, 
and  wouldn't  get  back  till  along  in  the  evenin'. 

But  she  said  "  that  she  felt  that  the  walk  would 
do  her  good." 

I  then  reminded  her  of  the  stanchils,  but  she  said 
"stanchils  and  religion  wuz  two  separate  things." 
Which  I  couldn't  deny,  and  didn't  try  to.  And  she 
sot  off  for  the  school-house  that  evenin'  a-walkin'  a 
foot.  And  the  rest  of  her  adventins  and  the  adven- 
tinsof  Joe  I  will  relate  in  another  epistol ;  and  I 
will  also  tell  whether  the  world  come  to  an  end  or 
not.  I  know  folks  will  want  to  know,  and  I  don't 
love  to  keep  folks  in  onxiety — it  hain't  my  way. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

?>ALL,  from  that  night,  Miss  True- 
man  Pool  attended  to  the  meet- 
ins  at  the  Risley  school-house, 
stiddy  and  constant.  And  before 
the  week  wuz  out  Joe  Charnick 
had  walked  home  with  her  twice. 
And  the  next  week  he  carried  her  to  Jonesville 
to  get  the  cloth  for  her  robe,  jest  like  his'n,  white 
book  muslin.  And  twice  he  had  come  to  consult 
her  on  a  Bible  passage,  and  twice  she  had  walked 
up  to  his  mother's  to  consult  with  her  on  a  passage 
in  the  Apockraphy.  And  once  she  went  up  to  see 
if  her  wings  wuz  es  deep  and  full  es  his'n.  She 
wanted  'em  jest  the  same  size. 

Miss  Charnick  couldn't  bear  her.  Miss  Charnick 
wuz  a  woman  who  had  enjoyed  considerble  poor 
health  in  her  life,  and  she  had  now,  and  had  been 
havin'  for  years,  some  dretful  bad  spells  in  her 
stomach — a  sort  of  a  tightness  acrost  her  chest. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       197 

And  Trueman's  wife  argued  with  her  that  her 
spells  had  been  worse,  and  her  chest  had  been  tighter. 
And  the  old  lady  didn't  like  that  at  all,  of  course. 
And  the  old  lady  took  thoroughwert  for  'em,  and 
Trueman's  wife  insisted  on't  that  thoroughwert  wuz 
tightenin'. 

And  then  there  wuz  some  chickens  in  a  basket 
out  on  the  stoop,  that  the  old  hen  had  deserted,  and 
Miss  Charnick  wuz  a  bringin'  'em  up  by  hand.  And 
Mother  Charnick  went  out  to  feed  'em,  and  True 
man's  wife  tosted  her  head  and  said,  "  she  didn't  ap 
prove  of  it — she  thought  a  chicken  ought  to  be 
brung  up  by  a  hen." 

But  Miss  Charnick  said,  "  Why,  the  hen  deserted 
'em ;  they  would  have  perished  right  there  in  the 
nest." 

But  Trueman's  wife  wouldn't  gin  in,  she  stuck 
right  to  it,  "  that  it  wuz  a  hen's  business,  and  no 
body  else's." 

And  of  course  she  had  some  sense  on  her  side,  for 
of  course  it  is  a  hen's  business,  her  duty  and  her 
prevelege  to  bring  up  her  chickens.  But  if  she 
won't  do  it,  why,  then,  somebody  else  has  got  to — 
they  ought  to  be  brung. 


198       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

I  say  Mother  Charnick  wuz  in  the  right  on't 
But  Trueman's  wife  had  got  so  in  the  habit  of 
findin'  fault,  and  naggin'  at  me,  and  the  other  rela 
tions  on  Trueman's  side  and  hern,  that  she  couldn't 
seem  to  stop  it  when  she  knew  it  wuz  for  her  inter 
est  to  stop. 

And  then  she  ketched  a  sight  of  the  alpacker 
dress  Jenette  wuz  a-makin'  and  she  said  "that  basks 
had  gone  out." 

And  Miss  Charnick  was  over  partial  to  'em  (most 
too  partial,  some  thought),  and  thought  they  wuz  in 
the  height  of  the  fashion.  But  Trueman's  wife 
ground  her  right  down  on  it. 

"  Basks  wuz  out,  fer  she  knew  it,  she  had  all  her 
new  ones  made  polenay." 

And  hearin'  'em  argue  back  and  forth  for  more'n 
a  quarter  of  an  hour,  Jenette  put  in  and  sez  (she 
thinks  all  the  world  of  Mother  Charnick),  "  Wall,  I 
s'pose  you  won't  take  much  good  of  your  polenays, 
if  you  have  got  so  little  time  to  wear  'em." 

And  then  Trueman's  wife  (she  wuz  meen-dispo- 
sitioned,  anyway)  said  somethin'  about  "  hired  girls 
keepin'  their  place." 

And  then  Mother  Charnick  flared  right  up  and 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       199 

took  Jenette's  part.  And  Joe's  face  got  red  ;  he 
couldn't  bear  to  see  Jenette  put  upon,  if  she  wuz 
makin'  fun  of  his  religeon.  And  Trueman's  wife  see 
that  she  had  gone  too  fur,  and  held  herself  in,  and 
talked  good  to  Jenette,  and  flattered  up  Joe,  and  he 
went  home  with  her  and  staid  till  ten  o'clock. 

They  spent  a  good  deal  of  their  time  a-huntin'  up 
passages,  to  prove  their  doctrine,  in  the  Bible,  and 
the  Apockraphy,  and  Josephus,  and  others. 

It  beat  all  how  many  Trueman's  wife  would  find, 
and  every  one  she  found  Joe  would  seem  to  think  the 
more  on  her.  And  so  it  run  along,  till  folks  said 
they  wuz  engaged,  and  Josiah  and  me  thought 
so,  too. 

And  though  Jenette  wuzn't  the  one  to  say  any 
thing,  she  begun  to  look  kinder  pale  and  m auger. 
And  when  I  spoke  of  it  to  her,  she  laid  it  to  her 
liver.  And  I  let  her  believe  I  thought  so  too. 
And  I  even  went  so  fur  as  to  recommend  tansey 
and  camomile  tea,  with  a  little  catnip  mixed  in — I 
did  it  fur  blinders.  I  knew  it  wuzn't  her  liver  that 
ailed  her.  I  knew  it  wuz  her  heart.  I  knew  it  wuz 
her  heart  that  wuz  a-achin'. 

Wall,  we   had  our  troubles,  Josiah  and   me  did. 


200       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Trueman's  wife  wuz  dretful  disagreeable,  and  would 
argue  us  down,  every  separate  thing  we  tried  to  do 
or  say.  And  she  seemed  more  high-headed  and  dis 
agreeable  than  ever  sence  Joe  had  begun  to  pay  at 
tention  to  her.  Though  what  earthly  good  his  at 
tention  wuz  a-goin'  to  do,  wuz  more  than  I  could 
see,  accordin'  to  her  belief. 

But  Josiah  said,  "  he  guessed  Joe  wouldn't  have 
paid  her  any  attention,  if  he  hadn't  thought  that  the 
world  wuz  a-comin'  to  a  end  so  soon.  He  guessed 
he  wouldn't  want  her  round  if  it  wuz  a-goin'  to 
stand." 

Sez  I,  "  Josiah,  you  are  a-judgin'  Joe  by  yourself." 
And  he  owned  up  that  he  wuz. 

Wall,  the  mornin'  of  the  3Oth,  after  Josiah  and  me 
had  eat  our  breakfast,  I  proceeded  to  mix  up  my 
bread.  I  had  set  the  yeast  overnight,  and  I  wuz  a 
mouldin'  it  out  into  tins  when  Trueman's  wife  come 
down-stairs  with  her  robe  over  her  arm.  She 
wanted  to  iron  it  out  and  press  the  seams. 

I  had  baked  one  tin  of  my  biscuit  for  breakfast, 
and  I  had  kep  'em  warm  for  Trueman's  wife,  for  she 
had  been  out  late  the  night  before  to  a  meetin'  to 
Risley  school-house, and  didn't  comedown  to  break- 


SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  2OI 

fast.  I  had  also  kep  some  good  coffee  warm  for  her, 
and  some  toast  and  steak. 

She  laid  her  robe  down  over  a  chair-back,  and  sot 
down  to  her  breakfast,  but  begun  the  first  thing  to 
find  fault  with  me  for  bein'  to  work  on  that  day. 
She  sez,  "  The  idee,  of  the  last  day  of  the  world,  and 
you  a-bein'  found  makin'  riz  biscuit,  yeast  ones !" 
sez  she. 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "I  don't  know  but  I  had  jest  as 
soon  be  found  a-makin'  riz  biscuit,  a-takin'  care  of 
my  own  household,  as  the  Lord  hes  commanded  me 
to,  as  to  be  found  a-sailin'  round  in  a  book  muslin 
Mother  Hubbard." 

"It  hain't  a  Mother  Hubbard!"  sez  she. 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  I  said  it  for  oritory.  But  it  is 
puckered  up  some  like  them,  and  you  know  it." 
Hers  wuz  made  with  a  yoke. 

And  Josiah  sot  there  a-fixin'  his  plantin'  bag. 
He  wuz  a-goin'  out  that  mornin' to  plant  over  some 
corn  that  the  crows  had  pulled  up.  And  she  bit 
terly  reproved  him.  But  he  sez,  "  If  the  world 
don't  come  to  a  end,  the  corn  will  be  needed." 

11  But  it  will,"  she  sez  in  a  cold,  haughty  tone. 

"  Wall,"  sez  he,  "  if  it  does,  I  may  as  well  be  a- 


WALL,"  SEZ  HE,     '  IF  IT  DOES,  I  MAY  AS  WELL  BE  DOIN'  THAT  AS  TO  BE 
SETTIN'  ROUND." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       2O3 

doin'  that  as  to  be  settin'  round."  And  he  took 
his  plantin'  bag  and  went  out.  And  then  she  jawed 
me  for  upholdin'  him. 

And  sez  she,  as  she  broke  open  a  biscuit  and 
spread  it  with  butter  previous  to  eatin'  it,  sez  she, 
11 1  should  think  respect,  respect  for  the  great  and 
fearful  thought  of  meetin'  the  Lord,  would  scare  you 
out  of  the  idea  of  goin'  on  with  your  work." 

Sez  I  calmly,  "  Does  it  scare  you,  Trueman's 
wife  ?" 

"  Wall,  not  exactly  scare,"  sez  she,  "  but  lift  up, 
lift  up  far  above  bread  and  other  kitchen  work." 

And  again  she  buttered  a  large  slice,  and  I  sez 
calmly,0  I  don't  s'poze  I  should  be  any  nearer  the 
Lord  than  I  am  now.  He  sez  He  dwells  inside  of 
our  hearts,  and  I  don't  see  how  He  could  get  any 
nearer  to  us  than  that.  And  anyway,  what  I  said 
to  you  I  keep  a-sayin',  that  I  think  He  would  ap 
prove  of  my  goin'  on  calm  and  stiddy,  a-doin'  my 
best  for  the  ones  He  put  in  my  charge  here  below, 
my  husband,  my  children,  and  my  grandchildren." 
(I  some  expected  Tirzah  Ann  and  the  babe  home 
that  day  to  dinner.) 

"  Wall,  you  feel  very  diffrent  from  some  wimmen 


204       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

that  wuz  to  the  school-house  last  night,  and  act  very 
diffrent.  They  are  good  Christian  females.  It  is 
a  pity  you  wuzn't  there.  P'raps  your  hard  heart 
would  have  melted,  and  you  would  have  had 
thoughts  this  mornin'  that  would  soar  up  above  riz 
biscuit." 

And  as  she  sez  this  she  begun  on  her  third  biscuit, 
and  poured  out  another  cup  of  coffee.  And  I, 
wantin'  to  use  her  well,  sez,  "  What  did  they  do 
there  ?" 

"  Do !"  sez  she,  "  why,  it  wuz  the  most  glorious 
meetin'  we  ever  had.  Three  wimmen  iay  at  one 
time  perfectly  speechless  with  the  power.  And 
some  of  em'  screemed  so  you  could  hear  'em  fer 
half  a  mile.'1 

I  kep  on  a-mouldin*  my  bread  out  into  biscuit 
(good  shaped  ones,  too,  if  I  do  say  it),  and  sez 
calmly,  "  Wall,  I  never  wuz  much  of  a  screemer.  I 
have  always  believed  in  layin'  holt  of  the  duty  next 
to  you,  and  doin'  some  things,  things  He  has  com 
manded.  Everybody  to  their  own  way.  I  don't 
condemn  yourn,  but  I  have  always  seemed  to  be 
lieve  more  in  the  solid,  practical  parts  of  religion, 
than  the  ornimental.  I  have  always  believed  more 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  205 

in  the  power  of  honesty,  truth,  and  justice,  than  in 
the  power  they  sometimes  have  at  camp  and  other 
meetins.  Howsumever,"  sez  I,  "  I  don't  say  but 
what  that  power  is  powerful,  to  the  ones  that  have 
it,  only  I  wuz  merely  observin*  that  it  never  wuz 
my  way  to  lay  speechless  or  holler  much — not  that 
I  consider  hollerin'  wrong,  if  you  holler  from  princi 
ple,  but  I  never  seemed  to  have  a  call  to." 

"  You  would  be  far  better  if  you  did,"  sez  True- 
man's  wife,  "far  better.  But  you  hain't  good 
enough." 

"  Oh  !"  sez  I,  reasonably,  "  I  could  holler  if  I 
wanted  to,  but  the  Lord  hain't  deef.  He  sez  spe- 
cilly,  that  He  hain't,  and  so  I  never  could  see  the  use 
in  hollerin'  to  Him.  And  I  never  could  see  the  use 
of  tellin'  Him  in  public  so  many  things  as  some  do. 
Why  He  knows  it.  He  knows  all  these  things.  He 
don't  need  to  have  you  try  to  enlighten  Him  as  if 
you  wuz  His  gardeen — as  I  have  heard  folks  do 
time  and  time  agin.  He  knows  what  we  are,  what 
we  need.  I  am  glad,  Trueman's  wife,"  sez  I,  "  that 
He  can  look  right  down  into  our  hearts,  that  He  is 
right  there  in  'em  a-knowin*  all  about  us,  all  our 
wants,  our  joys,  our  despairs,  our  temptations,  our 


2O6       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

resolves,  our  weakness,  our  blindness,  our  defects, 
our  regrets,  our  remorse,  our  deepest  hopes,  our  in 
spiration,  our  triumphs,  our  glorys.  But  when  He 
is  right  there,  in  the  midst  of  our  soul,  our  life,  why, 
why  should  we  kneel  down  in  public  and  holler  at 
Him  ?" 

"  You  would  be  glad  to  if  you  wuz  good  enough," 
sez  she  ;  "  if  you  had  attained  unto  a  state  of  per 
fection,  you  would  feel  like  it." 

That  kinder  riled  me  up,  and  I  sez,  "Wall,  I 
have  lived  in  this  house  with  them  that  wuz  perfect, 
and  that  is  bad  enough  for  me,  without  bein'  one  of 
'em  myself.  For  more  disagreeable  creeters,"  sez 
I,  a  prickin'  my  biscuit  with  a  fork,  "  more  disagree 
able  creeters  I  never  laid  eyes  on." 

Trueman's  wife  thinks  she  is  perfect,  she  has  told 
me  so  time  and  agin — thinks  she  hain't  done  any 
thing  wrong  in  upwards  of  a  number  of  years. 

But  she  didn't  say  nothin'  to  this,  only  begun 
agin  about  the  wickedness  and  immorality  of  my 
makin'  riz  biscuit  that  mornin',  and  the  deep 
disgrace  of  Josiah  Allen  keepin'  on  with  his 
work. 

But  before  I  could  speak  up  and  take  his  part,  for 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       2O/ 

I  will  not  hear  my  companion  found  fault  with  by 
any  female  but  myself,  she  had  gathered  up  her  robe, 
and  swept  upstairs  with  it,  leavin'  orders  for  a  flat- 
iron  to  be  sent  up. 

Wall,  the  believers  wuz  all  a-goin*  to  meet  at 
the  Risley  school-house  that  afternoon.  They  wuz 
about  40  of  'em,  men  and  wimmen.  And  I  told 
Josiah  at  noon,  I  believed  I  would  go  down  to  the 
school-house  to  the  meetin'.  And  he  a-feelin',  I 
mistrust,  that  if  they  should  happen  to  be  in  the 
right  on't,  and  the  world  should  come  to  a  end,  he 
wanted  to  be  by  the  side  of  his  beloved  pardner,  he 
offered  to  go  too.  But  he  never  had  no  robe,  no, 
nor  never  thought  of  havin'. 

The  Risley  school-house  stood  in  a  clearin',  and 
had  tall  stumps  round  it  in  the  door-yard.  And  we 
had  heard  that  some  of  the  believers  wuz  goin*  to 
get  up  on  them  stumps,  so's  to  start  off  from  there. 
And  sure  enough,  we  found  it  wuz  the  calculation 
of  some  on  'em. 

The  school-boys  had  made  steps  up  the  sides  of 
some  of  the  biggest  stumps,  and  lots  of  times  in 
political  meetin's  men  had  riz  up  on  'em  to  talk  to 
the  masses  below.  Why  I  s'poze  a  crowd  of  as 


208       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

many    as  45  or   48,  had   assembled  there   at   one 
time  durin'  the  heat  of  the  campain. 

But  them  politicians  had  on  their  usual  run  of 
clothes,  they  didn't  have  on  white  book  muslin 
robes.  Good  land! 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

ALL,  lots  of  folks  had  assembled  to 
the  school-house  when  we  got 
there,  about  3  o'clock  P.M. — after 
noon.  Believers,  and  world's  peo 
ple,  all  a-settin'  round  on  seats  arid 
stumps,  for  the  school-house  wuz  small  and  warm, 
and  it  wuz  pleasanter  out-doors. 

We  had  only  been  there  a  few  minutes  when 
Mother  Charnick  and  Jenette  walked  in.  Joe  had 
been  there  for  sometime,  and  he  and  the  Widder 
Pool  wuz  a-settin'  together  readin'  a  him  out  of 
one  book.  Jenette  looked  kinder  mauger,  and 
Trueman's  wife  looked  haughtily  at  her,  from  over 
the  top  of  the  him  book. 

Mother  Charnick  had  a  woosted  work-bag  on 
her  arm.  There  might  have  been  a  night  gown  in 
it,  and  there  might  not.  It  wuz  big  enough  to 
hold  one,  and  it  looked  sort  o'  bulgy.  But  it 
wuz  never  known — Miss  Charnick  is  a  smart  worn- 


2IO       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

an.  It  never  wuz  known  what  she  had  in  the 
bag. 

Wall,  the  believers  struck  up  a  him,  and  sung  it 
through — as  mournful,  skairful  sort  of  a  him  as  I 
ever  hearn  in  my  hull  life ;  and  it  swelled  out  and 
riz  up  over  the  pine  trees  in  a  wailin',  melancholy 
sort  of  a  way,  and  wierd — dretful  wierd. 

And  then  a  sort  of  a  lurid,  wild-looking  chap,  a 
minister,  got  up  and  preached  the  wildest  and 
luridest  discourse  I  ever  hearn  in  my  hull  days.  It 
wuz  enough  to  scare  a  snipe.  The  very  strongest 
and  toughest  men  there  turned  pale,  and  wimmen 
cried  and  wept  on  every  side  of  me,  and  wept  and 
cried. 

I,  myself,  didn't  weep.  But  I  drawed  nearer  to 
my  companion,  and  kinder  leaned  up  against  him, 
and  looked  off  on  the  calm  blue  heavens,  the  serene 
landscape,  and  the  shinin'  blue  lake  fur  away,  and 
thought — jest  as  true  as  I  live  and  breathe,  I  thought 
that  I  didn't  care  much,  if  God  willed  it  to  be  so, 
that  my  Josiah  and  I  should  go  side  by  side,  that 
very  day  and  minute,  out  of  the  certainties  of  this 
life  into  the  mysteries  of  the  other,  out  of  the 
mysteries  of  this  life  into  the  certainties  of  the  other. 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


211 


For,  thinks  I  to  myself,  we  have  got  to  go  into 
that  other  world  pretty  soon,  Josiah  and  me  have. 
And  if  we  went  in  the  usual  way,  we  had  got  to 
go  alone,  each  on  us.  Terrible  thought!  We 


"A    SORT  OF   A  LURID,   WILD-LOOKING   CHAP." 

who  had  been  together  under  shine  and  shade,  in 
joy  and  sorrow.  Our  two  hands  that  had  joined  at 
the  alter,  and  had  clung  so  clost  together  ever 
sence,  had  got  to  leggo  of  each  other  down  there 
in  front  of  the  dark  gateway. 


212  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

Solemn  gateway  !  So  big  that  the  hull  world 
must  pass  through  it — and  yet  so  small  that  I  he 
hull  world  has  got  to  go  through  it  alone,  one  at 
a  time. 

My  Josiah  would  have  to  stand  outside  and  let  me 
go  down  under  the  dark,  mysterious  arches,  alone 
— and  he  knows  jest  how  I  hate  to  go  anywhere 
alone,  or  else  I  would  have  to  stop  at  the  gate  and 
bid  him  good-by.  And  no  matter  how  much  we 
knocked  at  the  gate,  or  how  many  tears  we  shed 
onto  it,  we  couldn't  get  through  till  our  time  come, 
we  had  got  to  be  parted. 

And  now  if  we  went  on  this  clear  June  day 
through  the  crystal  gateway  of  the  bendin'  heavens 
• — we  two  would  be  together  for  weal  or  for  woe. 
And  on  whatever  new,  strange  landscape  we  would 
have  to  look  on,  or  wander  through,  he  would  be 
right  by  me.  Whatever  strange  inhabitants  the  ce 
lestial  country  held,  he  would  face  'em  with  me. 
Close,  close  by  my  side,  he  would  go  with  me 
through  that  blue,  lovely  gateway  of  the  soft  June 
skies  into  the  City  of  the  King.  And  it  wuz  a 
sweet  thought  to  me. 

Not  that  I  really  wanted  the  world  to  come  to  a 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.      213 

end  that  day.  No,  I  kinder  wanted  to  live  along 
for  some  time,  for  several  reasons :  My  pardner, 
the  babe,  the  children,  etc. ;  and  then  I  kinder  like 
to  live  for  the  sake  of  livin'.  I  enjoy  it. 

But  I  can  say,  and  say  with  truth,  and  solemnity, 
that  the  idee  didn't  scare  me  none.  And  as  my 
companion  looked  down  in  my  face  as  the  time  ap 
proached,  I  could  see  the  same  thoughts  that  wuz 
writ  in  my  eyes  a-shinin'  in  his'n. 

Wall,  as  the  pinter  approached  the  hour,  the  ex 
citement  grew  nearly,  if  not  quite  rampant.  The 
believers  threw  their  white  robes  on  over  their 
dresses  and  coats,  and  as  the  pinter  slowly  moved 
round  from  half-past  three  to  quarter  to  4 — and 
so  on — they  shouted,  they  sung,  they  prayed,  they 
shook  each  other's  hands — they  wuz  fairly  crazed 
with  excitement  and  fervor,  which  they  called  re 
ligion — for  they  wuz  in  earnest,  nobody  could  dis 
pute  that. 

Joe  and  Miss  Pool  kinder  hung  together  all  this 
time — though  I  ketched  him  givin'  several  wistful 
looks  at  Jenette,  as  much  as  tp  say,  "  Oh,  how  I 
hate  to  leave  you,  Jenette  !" 

But  Miss  Pool  would  roust  him  up  agin,  and  he 


214  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

would  shout  and  sing  with  the  frienziedest  and  most 
zealousest  of  'em. 

Mother  Charnick  stood  with  her  bag  in  her  hand, 
and  the  other  hand  on  the  puckerin'  string.  I 
don't  say  what  she  had  in  the  bag,  but  I  do  say 
this,  that  she  had  it  fixed  so's  she  could  have  on- 
done  it  in  a  secont's  time.  And  her  eyes  wuz  in 
tent  on  the  heavens  overhead.  But  they  kep  calm 
and  serene  and  cloudless,  nothin'  to  be  seen  there 
— no  sign,  no  change — and  Ma  Charnick  kep  still 
and  didn't  draw  the  puckerin'  string. 

But  oh,  how  excitement  reined  and  grew  ram 
pant  around  that  school-house  !  Miss  Pool  and  Joe 
seemin'  to  outdo  all  the  rest  (she  always  did  try 
to),  till  at  last,  jest  as  the  pinter  swung  round  to 
the  very  minute,  Joe,  more  than  half  by  the  side 
of  himself,  with  the  excitement  he  had  been  in  for 
a  week,  and  bein'  urged  onto  it  by  Miss  Pool,  as 
he  sez  to  this  day,  he  jumped  up  onto  the  tall 
stump  he  had  been  a  standin'  by,  and  stood  there  in 
his  long  white  robe,  lookin'  like  a  spook,  if  any 
body  had  been  calm  enough  to  notice  it,  and  he 
sung  out  in  a  clear  voice — his  voice  always  did 
have  a  good  honest  ring  to  it : 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN, 

Farewell  my  friends, 
Farewell  my  foes  ; 
Up  to  Heaven 
Joe  Charnick  goes. 


And  jest  as  the  clock  struck,  and  they  all 
shouted  and  screamed,  he  waved  his  arms,  with 
their  two  great  white  wings  a-flutterin',  and  sprung 
upwards,  expectin'  the  hull  world,  livin*  and  dead, 
would  foller  him  —  and  go  right  up  into  the 
heavens. 

And  Trueman's  wife  bein*  right  by  the  stump, 
waved  her  wings  and  jumped  too  —  jest  the  same 
direction  es  he  jumped.  But  she  only  stood  on  a 
camp  chair,  and  when  she  fell,  she  didn't  crack  no 
bones,  it  only  jarred  her  dretfully,  and  hurt  her 
across  the  small  of  her  back,  to  that  extent  that  I 
kep  bread  and  milk  poultices  on  day  and  night  for 
three  weeks,  and  lobelia  and  catnip,  half  and  half; 
she  a-arguin'  at  me  every  single  poultice  I  put  on 
that  it  wuzn't  her  way  of  makin'  poultices,  nor  her 
way  of  applyin'  of  'em. 

I  told  her  I  didn't  know  of  any  other  way  of  ap 
plyin'  'em  to  her  back,  only  to  put  'em  on  it. 


'*  FAREWELL  MY  FRIENDS,  FAREWELL  MY  FOES." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  217 

But  she  insisted  to  the  last  that  I  didn't  apply 
'em  right,  and  I  didn't  crumble  the  bread  into  the 
milk  right,  and  the  lobelia  wuzn't  picked  right,  nor 
the  catnip. 

Not  one  word  did  she  ever  speak  about  the  end  of 
the  world — not  a  word — but  a-naggin'  about  every 
thing  else. 

Wall,  I  healed  her  after  a  time,  and  glad  enough 
wuz  I  to  see  her  healed,  and  started  off. 

But  Joe  Charnick  suffered  worse  and  longer.  He 
broke  his  limb  in  two  places  and  cracked  his  rib. 
The  bones  of  his  arm  wuz  a  good  while  a-healin', 
and  before  they  wuz  healed  he  was  wounded  in  a 
new  place. 

He  jest  fell  over  head  and  ears  in  love  with 
Jenette  Finster.  For  bein'  shet  up  to  home  with 
his  mother  and  her  (his  mother  wouldn't  hear  to 
Jenette  leavin'  her  for  a  minute)  he  jest  seemed  to 
come  to  a  full  realizin'  sense  of  her  sweet  natur' 
and  bright,  obleegin'  ways ;  and  his  old  affection 
for  her  bloomed  out  into  the  deepest  and  most 
idolatrous  love — Joe  never  could  be  megum. 

Jenette,  and  good  enough  for  him,  held  him  off 
for  quite  a  spell — but  when  he  got  cold  and  re- 


2l8       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

lapsted,  and  they  thought  he  wuz  goin'  to  die,  then 
she  owned  up  to  him  that  she  worshipped  him — 
and  always  had. 

And  from  that  day  he  gained.  Mother  Char- 
nick  wuz  tickled  most  to  death  at  the  idea  of  havin' 
Jenette  for  her  own  girl — she  thinks  her  eyes  on 
her,  and  so  does  Jenette  of  her.  So  it  wuz  agree 
able  as  anything  ever  wuz  all  around,  if  not  agree- 
abler. 

Jest  as  quick  as  she  got  well  enough  to  walk,  and 
before  he  got  out  of  his  bed,  Trueman's  wife 
walked  over  to  see  Joe.  And  Joe's  mother  hatin' 
her  so,  wouldn't  let  her  step  her  foot  into  the  house. 
And  Joe  wuz  glad  on't,  so  they  say. 

Mother  Charnick  \vuz  out  on  the  stoop  in  front 
of  the  house,  when  Trueman's  wife  got  there,  and 
told  her  that  they  had  to  keep  the  house  still;  that 
is,  they  say  so,  I  don't  know  for  certain,  but  they  say 
that  Ma  Charnick  offered  to  take  Trueman's  wife 
out  to  see  her  chickens,  the  ones  she  had  brought 
up  by  hand,  and  Trueman's  wife  wantin'  to  please 
her,  so's  to  get  in,  consented.  And  Miss  Char- 
nick  showed  her  the  hull  14  of  'em,  all  fat  and 
flourishing — they  wuz  well  took  care  of.  And 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

Miss  Charnick  looked  down    on  'em    fondly,   and 
sez: 

"  I  lay  out  to  have  a  good  chicken   pie   the  day 
that  Joe  and  Jenette  are  married." 


C 


"I  LAY  OUT  TO  HAVE  A  GOOD  CHICKEN  PIE  THE  DAY  THAT  JOE  AND 
JENETTE  ARE  MARRIED." 

"  Married !"     sez  Trueman's   wife,    in  faint   and 
horrified  axcents. 


22O      SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

14  Yes,  they  are  goin'  to  be  married  jest  as  soon  as 
my  son  gets  well  enough.  Jenette  is  fixin'  a  new 
dress  for  me  to  wear  to  the  weddin' — with  a  bask," 
sez  she  with  emphasis.  And  es  she  said  it,  they 
say  she  stooped  down  and  gathered  some  sprigs  of 
thoroughwert,  a-mentionin'  how  much  store  she  set 
by  it  for  sickness. 

But  if  she  did,  Trueman's  wife  didn't  sense  it, 
she  wuz  dumbfoundered  and  sot  back  by  the  news. 
And  she  left  my  home  and  board  the  week  before 
the  weddin'. 

They  had  been  married  about  a  year,  when 
Jenette  wuz  here  a-visitin' — and  she  asked  me  in 
confidence  (and  it  must  be  kep,  it  stands  to  reason 
it  must),  "  if  I  s'posed  that  book  muslin  robe 
would  make  two  little  dresses?" 

And  I  told  her,  "Good  land!  yes,  three  on  'em," 
and  it  did. 

She  dresses  the  child  beautiful,  and  I  don't  know 
whether  she  would  want  the  neighbors  to  know  jest 
what  and  when  and  where  she  gets  the  materials — 

It  looks  some  like  her  and  some  like  Joe — and 
they  both  think  their  eyes  on  it — but  old  Miss 
Charnick  worships  it — 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.      221 

Wall,  though  es  I  said  (and  I  have  eppisoded  to 
a  extent  that  is  almost  onprecidented  and  onheard 
on). 

Though  Josiah  Allen  made  a  excuse  of  bor- 
rowin'  a  plow  (a  ploiv,  that  time  of  night)  to  get 
away  from  my  arguments  on  the  Conference,  and 
Submit's  kinder  skairt  face,  and  so  forth,  and  so 
on — 

He  resumed  the  conversation  the  next  mornin' 
with  more  energy  than  ever.  (He  never  said  nuthin' 
about  the  plow,  and  I  never  see  no  sign  on  it,  and 
don't  believe  he  got  it,  or  wanted  it.) 

He  resumed  the  subject,  and  kep  on  a-resumin' 
of  it  from  day  to  day  and  from  hour  to  hour. 

He  would  nearly  exhaust  the  subject  at  home, 
and  then  he  would  tackle  the  wimmen  on  it  at  the 
Methodist  Meetin'  House,  while  we  Methodist  wim 
men  wuz  to  work. 

After  leavin'  me  to  the  meetin'  house,  Josiah 
would  go  on  to  the  post-office  for  his  daily  World, 
and  then  he  would  stop  on  his  way  back  to  give 
us  female  wimmen  the  latest  news  from  the  Con 
ference,  and  give  us  his  idees  on't. 

And  sometimes  he  would  fairly  harrow  us  to  the 


HE   NEVER   HAD  TIME  TO   HELP." 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  223 

very  bone,  with  his  dretful  imaginins  and  fears 
that  wimmen  would  be  allowed  to  overdo  herself, 
and  ruin  her  health,  and  strain  her  mind,  by  bein' 
permitted  to  set ! 

Why  Submit  Tewksbury,  and  some  of  the  other 
weaker  sisters,  would  look  fairly  wild-eyed  for 
some  time  after  he  would  go. 

He  never  could  stay  long.  Sometimes  we  would 
beset  him  to  stay  and  do  some  little  job  for  us,  to 
help  us  along  with  our  work,  such  as  liftin'  some- 
thin'  or  movin'  some  bench,  or  the  pulpit,  or  some- 
thin'. 

But  he  never  had  the  time  ;  he  always  had  to 
hasten  home  to  get  to  work.  He  wuz  in  a  great 
hurry  with  his  spring's  work,  and  full  of  care  about 
that  buzz  saw  mill. 

And  that  wuz  how  it  wuz  with  every  man  in  the 
meetin'  house  that  wuz  able  to  work  any.  They 
wuz  all  in  a  hurry  with  their  spring's  work,  and  their 
buzz  saws,  and  their  inventions,  and  their  agencys, 
etc.,  etc.,  etc. 

And  that  wuz  the  reason  why  we  wimmen  wuz 
hav'in'  such  a  hard  job  on  the  meetin'  house. 


CHAPTER  XVIL 


see  the  way  on't  wuz  :  we  had 
to  do  sumthin*  to  raise  the  minis 
ter's  salary,  which  wuz  most  half 
a  year  behindhand,  to  say  noth- 
in'  of  the  ensuin'  year  a-comin'. 
And  as  I  have  hinted  at  before 
but  hain't  gi'n  petickulers,  the  men  in  the  meetin' 
house  had  all  gi'n  out,  and  said  they  had  gi'n  every 
cent  they  could,  and  they  couldn't  and  they  wouldn't 
do  any  more,  any  way. 

As  I  have  said  more  formally,  there  wuz  a  hard 
ness  arozen  amongst  the  male  brethern. 

Deacon  Peedick  thought  he  had  gi'n  more  than 
his  part  in  proportion,  and  come  right  out  plain  and 
said  so. 

And  Deacon  Bobbet  said  "  he  wuzn't  the  man  to 
stand  it  to  be  told  right  to  his  face  that  he  hadn't 
done  his  share,"  and  he  said  "  he  wuzn't  the  man 
either,  to  be  hinted  at  from  Jthe  pulpit  about  things." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       225 

I  don't  believe  he  wuz  hinted  at,  and  Sister  Bob- 
bet  don't.  And  she  felt  like  death  to  have  him  so 
riz  up  in  his  mind,  and  act  so.  I  know  what  the 
tex'  wuz  ;  it  wuz  these  words : 

u  The  Lord  loveth  a  cheerful  giver." 

The  minister  didn't  mean  nothin'  only  pure  gos 
pel,  when  he  preached  about  it.  But  it  proved  to  be 
a  tight-breasted,  close-fittin'  coat  to  several  of  the 
male  brothers,  and  it  fitted  'em  so  well  it  fairly 
pinched  'em. 

But  there  it  wuz,  Deacon  Bobbet  wouldn't  gi'n  a 
cent  towards  raisin'  the  money.  And  there  wuz 
them  that  said,  and  stuck  to  it,  that  he  said  "  he 
wouldn't  give  a  darn  cent." 

But  I  don't  know  as  that  is  so.  I  wouldn't  want 
to  be  the  one  that  said  that  he  had  demeaned  himself 
to  that  extent. 

Wall,  he  wouldn't  give  a  cent,  and  Peedick  wouldn't 
give,  and  Deacon  Henzy  and  Deacon  Sypher 
wouldn't.  They  said  that  there  wuz  certain  mem 
bers  of  the  meetin'  house  that  had  said  to  certain 
people  suthin'  slightin'  about  buzz  saws. 

I  myself  thought  then,  and  think  still,  that  the 
subject  of  buzz  saws  had  a  great  deal  to  do  in  makin' 


226  SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

'em  act  so  riz  up  and  excited.  I  believe  the  subject 
rasped  'em,  and  made  'em  nervous.  But  when 
these  various  hardnesses  aroze  amongst  some  of  the 
brethern,  the  rest  of  the  men  kinder  joined  in  with 
'em,  some  on  one  side,  and  some  on  the  other,  and 
they  all  baulked  right  out  of  the  harness.  (Allegory.) 
And  there  the  minister  wuz,  good  old  creeter,  jest 
a-sufferin'  for  the  necessities  of  life,  and  most  half  a 
year's  salery  due. 

I  tell  you  it  looked  dark.  The  men  all  said  they 
couldn't  see  no  way  out  of  the  trouble,  and  some  of 
the  wimmen  felt  about  so.  And  old  Miss  Henn, 
one  of  our  most  able  sisters,  she  had  gi'n  out,  she 
wuz  as  mad  as  her  own  sirname  about  how  her 
Metilda  had  been  used. 

The  meetin'  house  had  just  hauled  her  up  for 
levity.  And  I  thought  then,  and  think  now,  that 
the  meetin'  house  wuz  too  hard  on  Metilda 
Henn. 

She  did  titter  right  out  in  protracted  meetin',  Sis 
ter  Henn  don't  deny  it,  and  she  felt  dretful  bad 
about  it,  and  so  did  I.  But  Metilda  said,  and  stuck 
to  it,  that  she  couldn't  have  helped  laughin'  if  it  had 
been  to  save  her  life, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  22/ 

And  though  I  realized  the  awfulness  of  it,  still, 
when  some  of  the  brethern  wuz  goin'  on  dretful 
about  it,  I  sez  to  'em  : 

"  The  Bible  sez  there  is  a  time  to  laugh,  and  I 
don't  know  when  that  is,  unless  it  is  when  you  can't 
help  it." 

What  she  wuz  a-Iaughin'  at  wuz  this : 

There  wuz  a  widder  woman  by  the  name  of 
Nancy  Lum  that,  always  come  to  evenin'  meetin's. 

She  wuz  very  tall  and  humbly,  and  she  had  been 
on  the  look  out  (so  it  wuz  s'pozed)  for  a  3d  hus 
band  for  some  time. 

She  had  always  made  a  practice  of  saying  one 
thing  over  and  over  to  all  the  protracted  and  Con 
ference  meetin's,  and  she  would  always  bust  out 
a-cryin'  before  she  got  it  all  out. 

She  always  said  "  she  wanted  to  be  found  always 
at  the  foot  of  the  Cross." 

She  would  always  begin  this  remark  dretful  kin 
der  loud  and  hysterical,  and  then  would  dwindle  down 
kinder  low  at  the  end  on't,  and  bustin'  out  into  tears 
somewhere  through  it  from  first  to  last. 

But  this  evenin'  suthin'  had  occurred  to  make  her 
more  hysterical  and  melted  down  than  usial  (some 


228  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

say  it  wuz  because   Deacon   Henshaw  wuz  present 
for  the  first  time  after  his  wive's  death. 

But  any  way,  she  riz  up  lookin'  awful  tall  and 
humbly — she  was  most  a  head  taller  than  any  man 
there — and  she  sez  out  loud  and  strong : 

"  I  want  to  be  found — " 

And  then  she  busted  right  out  a-cryin'  hard. 
And  she  sobbed  for  some  time.  And  then  she 
begun  agin, 

"  I  want  to  be  found — " 

And  then  she  busted  out  agin. 

And  so  it  went  on  for  some  time — she  a-tellin' 
out  ever  and  anon  loud  and  firm,  "  that  she  wanted 
to  be  found — "  and  then  bustin*  into  tears. 

Till  finally  Deacon  Henshaw  (some  mistrust  that 
he  is  on  the  point  of  gettin'  after  her,  and  he  always 
leads  the  singin'  any  way)  he  struck  right  out  onto 
the  him — 

"  Oh,  that  will  be  joyful !" 

And  Sister  Lum  sot  down. 

Wall,  that  wuz  what  made  Metilda  Henn  titter. 
And  that  was  what  made  me  bring  forward  that 
verse  of  scripter. 


I   WANT  TO  BE   FOUND." 


230       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

That  the  Bible  said  " '  there  wuz  a  time  to  laugh/ 
and  I  didn't  know  when  it  wuz  unless  it  wuz  when 
you  couldn't  help  it — " 

But  I  didn't  say  it  to  uphold  Metilda — no,  indeed. 
I  only  said  it  because  they  wuz  so  bitter  on  her, 
and  laid  the  rules  of  the  meetin'  house  down  on  her 
so  heavy. 

But  Josiahsaid, "  What  would  become  of  the  meet- 
in'  house  if  it  didn't  punish  its  unruly  members  ?" 

And  I  sez  to  Josiah,  "  Do  you  remember  the  case 
of  Deacon  Widrig  overinLoontown.  He  wuz  rich 
and  influential,  and  when  he  wuz  complained  of, 
and  the  meetin'  house  sot  on  him,  they  sot  light, 
and  you  know  it,  Josiah  Allen.  And  he  was  kep  in 
the  church,  the  meen  old  creeter.  And  Miss  Henn 
is  a  widder  and  poor." 

"  Yes,"  sez  Josiah,  calmly,  "  she  hain't  been  able 
to  help  the  meetin'  house  much,  and  Brother 
Widrig  contributes  largely." 

Sez  I,  in  a  fearful  meanin'  axent,  "  I  hearn  he  did 
at  the  time  he  wuz  up — I  hearn  he  contributed  lots  to 
the  male  brethren  who  was  a-judgin'  him — but,"  sez 
I, "  do  you  spoze,  Josiah  Allen,  that  if  wimmen 
wuz  allowed  their  way  in  the  matter,  that  that  man 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  23! 

would  be  allowed  to  stay  in  the  meetin'  house,  and 
keep  on  a-makin'  and  a-sellin'  the  poisen  that  is 
sendin'  men  to  ruin  all  round  him — 

"Makin'  his  hard  cider  by  the  barell  and  hogset 
and  fixin'  it  some  way  so  it  will  make  a  far  worse 
drunk  than  whiskey,  and  then  supplyin'  every  low 
saloon  fur  and  near  with  it,  and  peddlin'  it  out  to 
every  man  and  boy  that  wants  it. 

"  And  boys  think  they  can  drink  cider  without  doin' 
any  harm — so  he  jest  entices  'em  down  into  the  road 
to  ruin — doin' as  much  agin  harm  as  a  whiskey  seller 

"  And  mothers  have  to  set  still  and  see  it  go  on. 
It  is  men  that  are  always  appinted  to  deal  with  sin 
ners,  male  or  female.  Men  are  judged  by  their  peers, 
but  wimmen  never  are. 

"  I  wonder  if  that  is  just  ?  I  wonder  how  Deacon 
Widrig  would  have  liked  it  to  have  had  Miss  Henn 
set  on  him  ?  He  wuz  dretful  excited,  so  I  hearn,  about 
Metilda's  case — thought  it  wuz  highly  incumbient  on 
the  meetin'  house  to  have  her  made  a  example  of, 
so's  to  try  to  abolish  such  wicked  doin's  assnickerin' 
out  in  meetin'. 

11 1  wonder  how  he  would  have  liked  it  to  have  had 
Charley  Lanfear's  mother  set  on  him  ?  She  is  a  Sister 


ll 


SUPPLYIN'  EVERY  LOW  SALOON  FUR  AND  NEAR." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  233 

in  the  meetin'  house  and  Charley  is  a  ruined  boy — 
and  Deacon  Widrig  is  jest  as  much  the  cause  of  his 
ruin — -jest  as  guilty  of  murderin'  all  that  wuz  sweet 
and  lovely  in  him  es  if  he  had  fed  arsenic  to  him 
with  a  teaspoon." 

Sez  I,  "In  that  very  meetin'  house  to  Loon- 
town,  there  are  mothers  who  have  to  set  and  take 
the  bread  and  wine  tokens  of  the  blood  and  body 
of  their  crucified  Redeemer  from  a  man's  hands 
that  they  know  are  red  with  the  blood  of  their  own 
sons.  Fur  redder  than  human  blood  and  deeper- 
stained  with  the  ruin  of  their  immortal  souls. 

"  What  thoughts  does  these  mothers  keep  on  a- 
thinkin'  as  they  set  there  and  see  a  man  guilty  of 
worse  than  murder  set  up  as  a  example  to  other 
young  souls  ?  What  thoughts  do  they  keep  on  a- 
thinkin'  of  the  young  hearts  that  wuz  pure  before 
this  man  laid  holt  of  'em.  Young  eyes  that  wuz 
true  and  tender  till  this  man  made  'em  look  on  his 
accursed  drink.  Young  lips  that  smiled  on  their 
mothers  till  he  gin  'em  that  that  changed  the  smiles 
to  curses  ? 

"  Would  a  delegation  of  wimmen  keep  such  a 
man  in  the  meetin'  house  if  he  paved  the  hull  floor 


234  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

with  fine  gold  ?  No,  you  know  they  wouldn't.  Let 
a  jury  of  mothers  set  on  such  a  man,  and  see  if  he 
could  get  up  agin  very  easy. 

"They  are  the  ones  who  have  suffered  by  him, 
who  have  agonized,  who  went  down  into  deeper 
than  the  Valley  of  Death  led  by  his  hand.  They 
went  down  into  that  depth  where  they  lose  their 
boy.  Lose  him  eternally. 

"  Death,  jest  death,  would  give  'em  a  chance  to 
meet  their  child  again.  But  what  hope  does  a 
mother  have  when  down  in  the  darkness  that  has  no 
mornin',  her  boy  tears  his  hand  from  her  weak 
grasp  and  plunges  downward? 

"  How  does  such  a  mother  feel  as  she  sets  there 
in  a  still  meetin'  house,  and  the  man  who  has  done 
all  this  passes  her  the  emblems  of  a  deathless  love,  a 
divine  purity  ?" 

Josiah  sat  demute  and  didn't  say  nuthin',  and  I 
went  on,  for  I  wuz  very  roze  up  in  my  mind,  and 
by  the  side  of  myself  with  emotions. 

And  sez  I,  "  Take  the  case  of  Simeon  Lathers. 
Why  wuzitthat  Sister  Irene  Filkins  wuz  turned  out 
of  the  meetin'  house  and  the  man  who  wuz  the 
first  cause  of  her  goin'  astray  kep  in — the  handsome. 


*  JOSIAH  LOOKED  UP  AND  SEZ,  «  HOW  A  STEEPLE  WOULD  LOOK  A-PINTIN*  DOWN  !" 


236       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

smooth-faced  hypocrite  ? — it  wuz  because  he  wuz  rich 
as  a  Jew,  and  jest  plastered  over  the  consciences  of 
them  that  tried  him  with  his  fine  speeches  and  his 
money. 

"  Fixed  over  the  meetin'  house  there  in  Zoar,  built 
a  new  steeple,  a  towerin'  one.  If  wimmen  had  had 
their  way,  that  steeple  would  have  pinted  the  other 
way." 

Josiah  looked  up  from  Ayers'  Almanac,  which  he 
wuz  calmly  perusin',  and  sez  he, 

"  How  a  steeple  would  look  a-pintin'  down  !" 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


OSI  AH'S  face  wuz  smooth 
and  placid,  he  hadn't 
took  a  mite  of  sense  of 
what  I  had  been  a-sayin', 
and  I  knew  it.  Men 
don't.  They  know  at  the 
most  it  is  only  talk, 
wimmen  hain't  got  it  in 
their  power  to  do  any 
thing.  And  I  s'pose  they  reason  on  it  in  this  way — 
a  little  wind  storm  is  soon  over,  it  relieves  old  Na- 
tur  and  don't  hurt  anything. 

Yes,  my  pardner's  face  wuz  as  calm  as  the  figger 
on  the  outside  of  the  almanac  a-holdin'  the  bottle, 
and  his  axent  wuz  mildly  wonderin'  and  gently 
sarcestickle. 

"  How  a  steeple  would  look  a-pintin'  down  !  That 
is  a  true  woman's  idee." 

Sez  I,"  I  would  have  it  a-pintin'  down  towards  the 


238 


SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


depths    of   darkness  that  wuz  in  that   man's  heart 
that  roze  it  up,  and  the  infamy  of  the  deed  that  kep 


SISTER  FILKINS. 

him  in  the  meetin'  house  and  turned  his  victim  out 
of  it." 

"  Id'no  as  she  wuz  his  victim,"  sez  Josiah. 

Sez  I,  "  Every  one  knows  that  in  the  first  place 
Simeon  Lathers  wuz  the  man  that  led  her  astray." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  239 

"  It  wuzn't  proved,"  sez  Josiah,  a-turnin'  the 
almanac  over  and  lookin'  at  the  advertisement  on 
the  back  side  on't. 

"And  why  wuzn't  it  proved  ?"  sez  I.  "  because  he 
held  a  big  piece  of  gold  against  the  mouths  of  the 
witnesses." 

"I  didn't  see  any  in  front  of  my  mouth,"  sez 
Josiah,  lookin'  'shamed  but  some  composed. 

"  And  you  know  what  the  story  wuz,"  sez  he, 
"  accordin'  to  that,  he  did  it  all  to  try  her  faith." 

I  wouldn't  encourage  Josiah  by  even  srnilin'  at  his 
words,  though  I  knew  well  what  the  story  wuz  he 
referred  to. 

It  wuz  at  a  Conference  meetin',  when  Simeon 
Lathers  wuz  jest  a-beginnin'  to  take  notice  of  how 
pretty  Irene  Filkins  wuz. 

She  had  gone  forward  to  the  anxious  seat,  with 
some  other  young  females,  their  minds  bein'  wrought 
on,  so  it  wuz  spozed,  by  Deacon  Lathers's  eloquent 
exhortations,  and  urgin's  to  'em  to  come  forward  and 
be  saved. 

And  they  had  gone  up  onto  the  anxious  seat  a- 
sheddin'  tears,  and  they  all  knelt  down  there,  and 
Deacon  Lathers  he  went  right  up  and  knelt  down 


240       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

right  by  Sister  Irene  Filkins,  and  them  that  wuz 
there  say,  that  right  while  he  wuz  a-prayin'  loud 
and  strong  for  'em  all,  and  her  specially,  he  put  his 
arm  round  her  and  acted  in  such  a  way  that  she  re 
sented  it  bitterly. 

She  wuz  a  good,  virtuous  girl  then,  any  way. 

And  she  resented  his  overtoors  in  such  a  indig 
nant  and  decided  way  that  it  drawed  the  attention 
of  a  hull  lot  of  brothers  and  sisters  towards  'em. 

And  Deacon  Lathers  got  right  up  from  his  knees 
and  sez, "  Bretheren  and  sisters,  let  us  sing  these  lines : 

"  He  did  it  all  to  try  her  faith." 

I  remembered  this  story,  but  I  wuzn't  goin'  to  en 
courage  Josiah  Allen  by  lettin'  my*  attention  be 
drawed  off  by  any  anectotes — nor  I  didn't  smile — 
oh,  no !  But  I  went  right  on  with  a  hull  lot  of 
burnin'  indignatin  in  my  axents,  and  sez  I,  "Josiah 
Allen,  can  you  look  me  in  the  face  .and  say  that  it 
wuzn't  money  and  bad  men's  influence  that  keep 
such  men  as  Deacon  Widrig  and  Simeon  Lathers 
in  the  meetin'  house?"  Sez  I,  "  If  they  wuz  poor 
men  would  they  have  been  kep',  or  if  it  wuzn't  for  the 
influence  of  men  that  like  hard  drink  ?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       241 

"Wall,  as  it  were,"  sez  Josiah,  "  I — that  is — wall, 
it  is  a-gettin'  bed-time,  Samantha." 

And  he  wound  up  the  clock  and  went  to  bed. 

And  I  set  there,  all  rousted  up  in  my  mind,  for 
more'n  a  hour — and  I  dropped  more'n  seven 
stitches  in  Josiah's  heel,  and  didn't  care  if  I  did. 

But  I  have  episoded  fearfully  >  and  to  resoom  and 
go  on. 

Miss  Henn  wuz  mad,  and  she  wuz  one  of  our 
most  enterprizen'  sisters,  and  we  felt  that  she  wuz  a 
great  loss. 

Things  looked  dretful  dark.  And  Sister  Bobbet, 
who  is  very  tender  hearted,  shed  tears  several  times 
a-talkin'  about  the  hard  times  that  had  come  onto 
our  meetin'  house,  and  how  Zion  wuz  a-languishin', 
etc.,  etc. 

And  I  told  Sister  Bobbet  in  confidence,  and  also 
in  public,  that  it  wuz  time  to  talk  about  Zion's  lan- 
guishin'  when  we  had  done  all  we  could  to  help  her 
up.  And  I  didn't  believe  Zion  would  languish  so 
much  if  she  had  a  little  help  gin  her  when  she 
needed  it. 

And  Miss  Bobbet  said  "she  felt  jest  so  about  it, 
but  she  couldn't  help  bein'  cast  down." 


242       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

And  so  most  all  of  the  sisters  said.  Submit 
Tewksbury  wept,  and  shed  tears  time  and  agin,  a- 
talkin'  about  it,  and  so  several  of  'em  did.  But  1 
sez  to  'em — 

"  Good  land  !"  sez  I.  "  We  have  seen  jest  as  hard 
times  in  the  Methodist  meetin'  house  before,  time 
and  agin,  and  we  vvimmen  have  always  laid  holt 
and  worked,  and  laid  plans,  and  worked,  and  worked, 
and  with  the  Lord's  help  have  sailed  the  old  ship 
Zion  through  the  dark  waters  into  safety,  and  we 
can  do  it  agin." 

Though  what  we  wuz  to  do  we  knew  not,  and  the 
few  male  men  who  didn't  jine  in  the  hardness,  said 
they  couldn't  see  no  way  out  of  it,  but  what  the 
minister  would  have  to  go,  and  the  meetin'  house 
be  shet  up  for  a  spell. 

But  we  female  wimmen  felt  that  we  could  not 
have  it  so  any  way.  And  we  jined  together,  and 
met  in  each  other's  housen  (not  publickly,  oh  no ! 
we  knew  our  places  too  well  as  Methodist  Sisters). 

We  didn't  make  no  move  in  public,  but  we  kinder 
met  round  to  each  other's  housen,  sort  o' private  like, 
and  talked,  and  talked,  and  prayed — we  all  knew  that 
wuzn't  aginst  the  church  rules,  so  we  jest  rastled 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       243 

in  prayer,  for  help  to  pay  our  honest  debts,  and  keep 
the  Methodist  meetin'  house  from  disgrace,  for  the 
men  wuz  that  worked  up  and  madded,  that  they 
didn't  seem  to  care  whether  the  meetin'  house  come 
to  nothin'  or  not. 

Wall,  after  settin'  day  after  day  (not  public  settin', 
oh,  no !  we  knew  our  places  too  well,  and  wouldn't 
be  ketched  a-settin'  public  till  we  had  a  right  to). 

After  settin'  and  talkin'it  over  back  and  forth,  we 
concluded  the  very  best  thing  we  could  do  wuz  to 
give  a  big  fair  and  try  to  sell  things  enough  to  raise 
some  money. 

It  wuz  a  fearful  tufT  job  we  had  took  onto  our 
selves,  for  we  had  got  to  make  all  the  things  to  sell 
out  of  what  we  could  get  holt  of,  for,  of  course,  our 
husbands  all  kep  the  money  purses  in  their  own 
hands,  as  the  way  of  male  pardners  is.  But  we  laid 
out  to  beset  'em  when  they  wuz  cleverer  than  com 
mon  (owin'  to  extra  good  vittles)  and  get  enough 
money  out  of  'em  to  buy  the  materials  to  work  with, 
bedquilts  (crazy,  and  otherwise),  embroidered 
towels,  shawl  straps,  knit  socks  and  suspenders,  rugs, 
chair  covers,  lap  robes,  etc.,  etc.,  etc. 

It  wuz  a  tremcndus  hard  undertakin'  we  had  took 


244  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

onto  ourselves,  with  all  our  spring's  work  on  hand, 
and  not  one  of  us  Sisters  kep  a  hired  girl  at  the  time, 
and  we  had  to  do  our  own  house  cleanin',  paintin' 
floors,  makin'  soap,  spring  sewin',  etc.,  besides  our 
common  housework. 

But  the  very  vvorst  on't  wuz  the  meetin'  house 
wuz  in  such  a  shape  that  we  couldn't  do  a  thing  till 
that  wuz  fixed. 

The  men  had  undertook  to  fix  over  the  meetin' 
house  jest  .before  the  hardness  commenced.  The 
men  and  wimmen  both  had  labored  side  by  side  to 
fix  up  the  old  house  a  little. 

The  men  had  said  that  in  such  church  work  as 
that  wimmen  had  a  perfect  right  to  help,  to  stand 
side  by  side  with  the  male  brothers,  and  do  half,  or 
more  than  half,  or  even  all  the  work.  They  said  it 
wuzn't  aginst  the  Discipline,  and  all  the  Bishops 
wuz  in  favor  of  it,  and  always  had  been.  They  said 
it  wuz  right  accordin'  to  the  Articles.  But  when  it 
come  to  the  hard  and  arjuous  duties  of  drawin'  sal- 
leries  with  'em,  or  settin'  up  on  Conferences  with 
'em,  why  there  a  line  had  to  be  drawed,  wimmen 
must  not  be  permitted  to  strain  herself  in  no  such 
ways — nor  resk  the  tender  delicacy  of  her  nature, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       245 

by  settin'  in  a  meetin'  house  as  a  delegate  by  the 
side  of  a  man  once  a  year.  It  wuz  too  resky.  But 
we  could  lay  holt  and  work  with  'em  in  public,  or  in 
private,  which  we  felt  wuz  indeed  a  privelege,  for  the 
interests  of  the  Methodist  meetin'  house  wuz  dear 
to  our  hearts,  and  so  wuz  our  pardners'  approvals — 
and  they  wuz  all  on  'em  unanimus  on  this  pint — 
we  could  work  all  we  wanted  to. 

So  we  had  laid  holt  and  worked  right  along  with 
the  men  from  day  to  day,  with  their  full  and  free 
consents,  and  a  little  help  from  'em,  till  we  had  got 
the  work  partly  done.  We  had  got  the  little  Sabbath- 
school  room  painted  and  papered,  and  the  cushions 
of  the  main  room  new  covered,  and  we  had  en 
gaged  to  have  it  frescoed,  but  the  frescoer  had 
turned  out  to  be  a  perfect  fraud,  and,  of  all  the  look- 
in'  things,  that  meetin'  house  wuz  about  the  worst. 
The  plaster,  or  whatever  it  wuz  he  had  put  on,  had 
to  be  all  scraped  off  before  it  could  be  papered,  the 
paper  wuz  bought,  and  the  scrapin'  had  begun. 

The  young  male  and  female  church  members  had 
give  a  public  concert  together,  and  raised  enough 
money  to  get  the  paper — it  wuz  very  nice,  and  fifty 
cents  a  roll  (double  roll). 


"APPEARIN'  IN  PUBLIC.' 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  247 

These  young  females  appearin'  in  public  for  this 
purpose  vvuz  very  agreeable  to  the  hull  meetin' 
house,  and  vvuz  right  accordin'  to  the  rules  of  the 
Methodist  Meetin'  House,  for  I  remember  I  asked 
about  it  when  the  question  first  come  up  about 
sendin'  female  delegates  to  the  Conference,  and  all 
the  male  members  of  our  meetin'  house  wuz  so 
horrified  at  the  idee. 

I  sez,  "  I'll  bet  there  wouldn't  one  of  the  delegates 
yell  half  so  loud  es  she  that  wuz  Mahala  Gowdey 
at  the  concert.  Her  voice  is  a  sulferino  of  the 
very  keenest  edge  and  highest  tone,  and  she  puts 
in  sights  and  sights  of  quavers." 

But  they  all  said  that  vvuz  a  very  different  thing. 

And  sez  I,  "  How  different  ?  She  wuz  a  yellin' 
in  public  for  the  good  of  the  Methodist  Meetin' 
House  (it  wuz  her  voice  that  dravved  the  big  con- 
gregatin,  we  all  know).  And  them  wimmen  dele 
gates  would  only  have  to  '  yea'  and  '  nay'  in  a 
still  small  voice  for  the  good  of  the  same.  I  can't 
see  why  it  would  be  so  much  more  indelicate  and 
unbecomin'  in  them" — and  sez  I,  "  they  would  have 
bonnets  and  shawls  on,  and  she  that  vvuz  Mahala 
had  on  a  low  neck  and  short  sleeves." 


248       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

But  they  wouldn't  yield,  and  I  wouldn't  nuther. 

But  I  am  a  eppisodin  fearful,  and  to  resoom. 
Wall,  as  I  said,  the  scrapin'  had  begun.  One 
side  of  the  room  wuz  partly  cleaned  so  the  paper 
could  go  on,  and  then  the  fuss  come  up,  and  there 
it  wuz,  as  you  may  say,  neither  hay  nor  grass, 
neither  frescoed  nor  papered  nor  nuthin'.  And  of 
all  the  lookin'  sights  it  wuz. 

Wall,  of  course,  if  we  had  a  fair  in  that  meetin' 
house,  we  couldn't  have  it  in  such  a  lookin'  place  to 
disgrace  us  in  the  eyes  of  Baptists  and  'Piscopals. 

No,  that  meetin'  house  had  got  to  be  scraped, 
and  we  wimmen  had  got  to  do  the  scrapin'  with  case 
knives. 

It  wuz  a  hard  job.  I  couldn't  help  thinkin'  quite 
a  number  of  thoughts  as  I  stood  on  a  barell  with  a 
board  acrost  it,  afraid  as  death  of  fallin'  and  a 
workin'  for  dear  life,  and  the  other  female  sisters  a 
standin'  round  on  similar  barells,  all  a-workin'  fur 
beyond  their  strengths,  and  all  afraid  of  fallin',  and 
we  all  a-knowin'  what  we  had  got  ahead  on  us  a 
paperin'  and  a  gettin'  up  the  fair. 


CHAPTER   XIX. 

COULDN'T  help  a-me- 
thinkin'  to  myself  several 
times.  It  duz  seem  to  me 
that  there  hain't  a  question 
a-comin'  up  before  that  Con 
ference  that  is  harder  to 
tackle  than  this  plasterin' 
7'/  /  J  and  the  conundrum  that  is 
up  before  us  Jonesville  vvimmen  how  to  raise  300 
dollars  out  of  nuthin',  and  to  make  peace  in  a 
meetin'  house  where  anarky  is  now  rainin'  down. 

But  I  only  thought  these  thoughts  to  myself,  fur 
I  knew  every  women  there  wuz  peacible  and  law 
abidin'  and  there  wuzn't  one  of  'em  but  what  would 
ruther  fall  offen  her  barell  then  go  agin  the  rules  of 
the  Methodist  Meetin'  House. 

Yes,  I  tried  to  curb  down  my  rebellous  thoughts, 
and  did,  pretty  much  all  the  time. 


250 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


And  good  land  !  we  worked  so  hard  that  we 
hadn't  time  to  tackle  very  curius  and  peculier 
thoughts,  them  that  wuz  dretful  strainin'  and  wear- 


"  EVERY  NIGHT  JOSIAH  WOULD  TACKLE  ME  ON  IT." 

in'  on  the  mind.  Not  of  our  own  accord  we  didn't, 
fur  we  had  to  jest  nip  in  and  work  the  hull  durin' 
time. 

And  then  we  all  knew  how  deathly  opposed  our 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  25! 

pardners  wuz  to  our  takin'  any  public  part  in 
meetin'  house  matters  or  mountin'  rostrums,  and 
that  thought  quelled  us  down  a  sight. 

Of  course  when  these  subjects  wuz  brung  up 
before  us,  and  turned  round  and  round  in  front  of 
our  eyes,  why  we  had  to  look  at  'em  and  be  rousted 
up  by  'em  more  or  less.  It  was  Nater. 

And  Josiah  not  havin'  anything  to  do  evenin's 
onty  to  set  and  look  at  the  ceilin'.  Every  single  night 
when  I  would  go  home  from  the  meetin'  house, 
Josiah  would  tackle  me  on  it,  on  the  danger  of 
allowin'  wimmen  to  ventur  out  of  her  spear  in  Meet- 
in'  House  matters,  and  specially  the  Conference, 

It  begin  to  set  in  New  York  the  very  day  we 
tackled  the  meetin'  in  Jonesville  with  a  extra  grip. 

So's  I  can  truly  say,  the  Meetin'  House  wuz  on  me 
day  and  night.  For  workin'  on  it  es  I  did,  all  day 
long,  and  Josiah  a-talkin'  abut  it  till  bed  time,  and  I 
a-dreamin'  abut  it  a  sight,  that,  and  the  Confer 
ence. 

Truly,  if  I  couldn't  set  on  the  Conference,  the 
Conference  sot  on  me,  from  mornin'  till  night,  and 
from  night  till  mornin'. 

I  spoze  it  wuz  Josiah's  skairful  talk  that  brung  it 


SAMANTHA   AMONG    THE   BRETHREN. 

onto  me,  it  wuz  brung  on  nite  mairs  mostly,  in  the 
nite  time. 

He  would  talk  very  skairful,  and  what  he  called 
deep,  and  repeat  pages  of  Casper  Keeler's  argu 
ments,  and  they  would  appear  to  me  (drawed  also 
by  nite  mairs)  every  page  on  'em  lookin*  fairly  lurid. 

I  suffered. 

Josiah  would  set  with  the  World  and  other 
papers  in  his  hand,  a-perusin'  of  'em,  while  I  would 
be  a-washin'  up  my  dishes,  and  the  very  minute  I 
would  get  'em  done  and  my  sleeves  rolled  down, 
he  would  tackle  me,  and  often  he  wouldn't  wait 
for  me  to  get  my  work  done  up,  or  even  supper 
got,  but  would  begin  on  me  as  I  filled  up  my  tea 
kettle,  and  keep  up  a  stiddy  drizzle  of  argument 
till  bed  time,  and  as  I  say,  when  he  left  off,  the  nite 
mairs  would  begin. 

I  suffered  beyond  tellin'  almost 

The  secont  night  of  my  arjuous  labors  on  the 
meetin'  house,  he  began  wild  and  eloquent  about 
wimmen  bein'  on  Conferences,  and  mountin'  ros 
trums.  And  sez  he,  "  That  is  suthin'  that  we 
Methodist  men  can't  stand." 

And  I,  havin'  stood  up  on  a  barell    all   day    a- 


IS  ROSTRUMS   MUCH   HIGHER   THAN   THEM   BARELLS  TO   STAND   ON?' 


254       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

scrapin'  the  ceilin',  and  not  bein'  recuperated  yet 
from  the  skairtness  and  dizziness  of  my  day's  work, 
I  sez  to  him  : 

"  Is  rostrums  much  higher  than  them  barells  we 
have  to  stand  on  to  the  meetin'  house  ?" 

And  Josiah  said,  "  it  wuz  suthin'  altogether  dif 
ferent."  And  he  assured  me  agin, 

"  That  in  any  modest,  unpretendin'  way  the  Meth 
odist  Church  wuz  willin'  to  accept  wimmen's  work. 
It  wuzn't  aginst  the  Discipline.  And  that  is  why," 
sez  he,  "  that  wimmen  have  all  through  the  ages 
been  allowed  to  do  most  all  the  hard  work  in  the 
church — such  as  raisin'  money  for  church  work— 
earnin'  money  in  all  sorts  of  ways  to  carry  on  the 
different  kinds  of  chanty  work  connected  with  it — 
teachin'  the  children,  nursin'  the  sick,  carryin'  on 
hospital  work,  etc.,  etc.  But,"  sez  he,  "  this  is  fur, 
fur  different  from  gettin'  up  on  a  rostrum,  or  tryin'  to 
set  on  a  Conference.  Why,"  sez  he,  in  a  haughty 
tone,  "  I  should  think  they'd  know  without  havin' 
to  be  told  that  laymen  don't  mean  women." 

Sez  I,  "  Them  very  laymen  that  are  tryin'  to 
keep  wimmen  out  of  the  Conference  wouldn't  have 
p;ot  in  themselves  if  it  hadn't  been  for  wimmen's 

o 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       255 

votes.  If  they  can  legally  vote  for  men  to  get  in 
why  can't  men  vote  for  them?" 

"That  is  the  pint,"  sez  Josiah,  "  that  is  the  very 
pint  I  have  been  tryin'  to  explain  to  you.  Wim- 
men  can  help  men  to  office,  but  men  can't  help 
wimmen  ;  that  is  law,  that  is  statesmanship.  I  have 
been  a-tryin'  to  explain  it  to  you  that  the  word 
laymen  always  means  woman  when  she  can  help 
men  in  any  way,  but  not  when  he  can  help  her,  or 
in  any  other  sense." 

Sez  I,  "  It  seemed  to  mean  wimmen  when 
Metilda  Henn  wuz  turned  out  of  the  meetin' 
house." 

"Oh,  yes,"  sez  Josiah  in  a  reasonin*  tone,  "the 
word  laymen  always  means  wimmen  when  it  is  used 
in  a  punishin'  and  condemnatory  sense,  or  in  the 
case  of  work  and  so  fourth,  but  when  it  comes  to 
settin'  up  in  high  places,  or  drawin'  sallerys,  or  any 
thing  else  difficult,  it  alweys  means  men." 

Sez  I,  in  a  very  dry  axent,  "  Then  the  word  man, 
when  it  is  used  in  church  matters,  always  means 
wimmen,  so  fur  as  scrubbin'  is  concerned,  and 
diuwd^m'  round  ?" 

44  Yes,"    sez   Josiah    haughtily.     "And  it  always 


2$6       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  LRETHREN. 

means  men  in  the  higher  and  more  difficult  mat 
ters  of  decidin'  questions,  drawin'  sallerys,  settin'  on 
Conferences,  etc.  It  has  long  been  settled  to  be  so," 
sez  he. 

"Who  settled  it  ?"  sez  I. 

"  Why  the  men,  of  course,"  sez  he.  "The  men 
have  always  made  the  rules  of  the  churches,  and 
translated  the  Bibles,  and  everything  else  that  is 
difficult,"  sez  he.  Sez  I,  in  fearful  dry  axents,  almost 
husky  ones,  "It  seems  to  take  quite  a  knack  to 
know  jest  when  the  word  laymen  means  men  and 
when  it  means  wimmen." 

"  That  is  so/'  sez  Josiah.  "  It  takes  a  man's  mind 
to  grapple  with  it;  wimmen's  minds  are  too  weak  to 
tackle  it  It  is  jest  as  it  is  with  that  word  '  men  '  in 
the  Declaration  of  Independence.  Now  that  word 
'men',  in  that  Declaration,  means  men  some  of  the 
time,  and  some  of  the  time  men  and  wimmen  both. 
It.  means  both  sexes  when  it  relates  to  punishment, 
taxin'  property,  obeyin'  the  laws  strictly,  etc.,  etc., 
and  then  it  goes  right  on  the  very  next  minute  and 
means  men  only,  as  to  wit,  namely,  votin',  takin' 
charge  of  public  matters,  makin'  laws,  etc. 

u  I  tell  you  it  takes  deep  minds  to  foller  on  and 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  257 

see  jest  to    a  hair  where  the  division  is  made.     It 
takes  statesmanship. 

"  Now  take  that  claws,  'All  men  are  born  free  and 
equal.1 

"Now  half  of  that  means  men,  and  the  other  half 
men  and  wimmen.  Now  to  understand  them  words 
perfect  you  have  got  to  divide  the  tex.  '  Men  are 
born.'  That  means  men  and  wimmen  both — men 
and  wimmen  are  both  born,  nobody  can  dispute 
that.  Then  comes  the  next  claws,  '  Free  and  equal/ 
Now  that  means  men  only — anybody  with  one  eye 
can  see  that. 

"  Then  the  claws,  *  True  government  consists/ 
That  means  men  and  wimmen  both — consists — of 
course  the  government  consists  of  men  and  wimmen, 
'twould  be  a  fool  who  would  dispute  that  '  In  the 
consent  of  the  governed/  That  means  men  alone. 
Do  you  see,  Samantha?"  sez  he. 

I  kep'  my  eye  fixed  on  the  tea  kettle,  fer  I  stood 
with  my  tea-pot  in  hand  waitin'  for  it  to  bile — "  I 
see  a  great  deal,  Josiah  Allen." 

"  Wall,"  sez  he,  "  I  am  glad  on't.  Now  to  sum  it 
up,"  sez  he,  with  some  the  mean  of  a  preacher — or, 
ruther,  a  exhauster — 4<  to  sum  the  matter  all  up,  the 


QHURCH  WORK. 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN.  259 

words  '  bretheren,'  'laymen,'  etc.,  always  means 
wimmen  so  fur  as  this:  punishment  for  all  offenses, 
strict  obedience  to  the  rules  of  the  church,  work  of 
any  kind  and  all  kinds,  raisin'  money,  givin'  money 
all  that  is  possible,  teachin'  in  the  Sabbath  school, 
gettin'  up  missionary  and  charitable  societies,  car- 
ryin'  on  the  same  with  no  help  from  the  male  sect 
leavin'  that  sect  free  to  look  after  their  half  of  the 
meanin'  of  the  word — sallerys,  office,  makin'  the 
laws  that  bind  both  of  the  sexes,  rulin'  things  gener 
ally,  translatin'  Bibles  to  suit  their  own  idees, 
preachin'  at  'em,  etc.,  etc.  Do  you  see,  Samantha  ?" 
sez  he,  proudly  and  loftily. 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  as  I  filled  up  my  tea-pot,  for  the 
water  had  at  last  biled.  "  Yes,  I  see." 

And  I  spoze  he  thought  he  had  convinced  me, 
for  he  acted  high  headeder  and  haughtier  for  as  much 
as  an  hour  and  a  half.  And  I  didn't  say  anything 
to  break  it  up,  for  I  see  he  had  stated  it  jest  as  he 
and  all  his  sect  looked  at  it,  and  good  land !  I 
couldn't  convince  the  hull  male  sect  if  I  tried — 
clergymen,  statesmen  and  all — so  I  didn't  try, 
and  I  wuz  truly  beat  out  with  my  day's  work, 
and  I  didn't  drop  more  than  one  idee  more; 


260       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

I  simply  dropped  this  remark  es  I  poured  out 
his  tea  and  put  some  good  cream  into  it — I  merely 
sez: 

"There  is  three  times  es  many  wimmen  in  the 
meetin'  house  es  there  is  men." 

"Yes,"  sez  he,  "that  is  one  of  the  pints  I  have 
been  explainin'  to  you,"  and  then  he  went  on 
agin  real  high  headed,  and  skairt,  about  the  old  ground, 
of  the  willingness  of  the  meetin'  house  to  shelter 
wimmen  in  its  folds,  and  how  much  they  needed 
gaurdin'  and  guidin',  and  about  their  delicacy  of 
frame,  and  how  unfitted  they  wuz  to  tackle  any 
thing  hard,  and  what  a  grief  it  wuz  to  the  male  sect 
to  see  'em  a-tryin'  to  set  on  Conferences  or  mount 
rostrums,  etc.,  etc. 

And  I  didn't  try  to  break  up  his  argument,  but 
simply  repeated  the  question  I  had  put  to  him — 
for  es  I  said  before,  I  wuz  tired,  and  skairt,  and 
giddy  yet  from  my  hard  labor  and  my  great  and 
hazardus  elevatin' ;  I  had  not,  es  you  may  say,  re 
covered  yet  from  my  recuperation,  and  so  I  sez 
agin  them  words — 

"  Is  rostrums  much  higher  than  them  barells  to 
stand  on  ?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       261 

And  Josiah  said  agin,  "it  wuz  suthin'  entirely 
different ;"' he  said  barells  and  rostrums  wuz  so  fur 
apart  that  you  couldn't  look  at  both  on  'em  in  one 
day  hardly,  let  alone  a  minute.  And  he  went  on 
once  more  with  a  long  argument  full  of  Bible 
quotations  and  everything. 

And  I  wuz  too  tuckered  out  to  say  much  more. 
But  I  did  contend  for  it  to  the  last,  that  I  didn't  be 
lieve  a  rostrum  would  be  any  more  tottlin'  and 
skairful  a  place  than  the  barell  I  had  been  a- 
standin'  on  all  day,  nor  the  work  I'd  do  on  it  any 
harder  than  the  scrapin'  of  the  ceilin'  of  that  meetin 
house. 

And  I  don't  believe  it  would,  I  stand  jest  as 
firm  on  it  to-day  as  I  did  then. 


CHAPTER  XX. 

ALL,  we  got  the  scrapin'  done  after 
three  hard  and  arjous  days'  works, 
and  then  we  preceeded  to  clean 
the  house.  The  day  we  set  to 
clean  the  meetin'  house  prior  and 
before  paperin',  we  all  met  in 
good  season,  for  we  knew  the 
hardships  of  the  job  in  front  of 
us,  and  we  all  felt  that  we  wanted  to  tackle  it  with 
our  full  strengths. 

Sister  Henzy,  wife  of  Deacon  Henzy,  got  there 
jest  as  I  did.  She  wuz  in  middlin'  good  spirits 
and  a  old  yeller  belzerine  dress. 

Sister  Gowdy  had  the  ganders  and  newraligy 
and  wore  a  flannel  for  'em  round  her  head,  but  she 
wuz  in  workin'  spirits,  her  will  wuz  up  in  arms,  and 
nerved  up  her  body. 

Sister  Meechim  wuz  a-makin'  soap,  and  so  wuz 
Sister  Sypher,  and  Sister  Mead,  and  me.  But  we 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.     263 

all  felt  that  soap  come  after  religion,  not  before. 
"  Cleanliness  next  to  godliness." 

So  we  wuz  all  vvillin'  to  act  accordin',  and  tackle 
the  old  meetin'  house  with  a  willin'  mind. 

Wall,  we  wuz  all  engaged  in  the  very  heat  of 
the  warfare,  as  you  may  say,  a-scrubbin'  the  floors, 
and  a-scourin'  the  benches  by  the  door,  and  a- 
blackin'  the  2  stoves  that  stood  jest  inside  of  the 
door.  We  wuz  workin'  jest  as  hard  as  wimmen 
ever  worked — and  all  of  the  wimmen  who  wuzn't 
engaged  in  scourin'  and  moppin'  wuz  a-settin' 
round  in  the  pews  a-workin'  hard  on  articles  for  the 
fair — when  all  of  a  suddin  the  outside  door  opened 
and  in  come  Josiah  Allen  with  3  of  the  other  men 
bretheren. 

They  had  jest  got  the  great  news  of  wimmen 
bein'  apinted  for  Deaconesses,  and  had  come  down 
on  the  first  minute  to  tell  us.  She  that  wuz  Celes- 
tine  Bobbet  wuz  the  only  female  present  that  had 
heard  of  it. 

Josiah  had  heard  it  to  the  post-office,  and  he 
couldn't  wait  till  noon  to  tell  me  about  it,  and 
Deacon  Gowdy  wuz  anxius  Miss  Gowdy  should 
hear  it  as  soon  es  possible. 


264  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

Deacon  Sypher  wanted  his  wife  to  know  at  once 
that  if  shewuzn't  married  she  could  have  become 
a  deaconess  under  his  derectin'. 

And  Josiah  wanted  me  to  know  immegietly  that 
I,  too,  could  have  had  the  privilege  if  I  had  been  a 
more  single  woman,  of  becomin'  a  deaconess,  and 
have  had  the  chance  of  workin'  all  my  hull  life  for 
the  meetin'  house,  with  a  man  to  direct  my  move 
ments  and  take  charge  on  me,  and  tell  me  what  to 
do,  from  day  to  day  and  from  hour  to  hour. 

And  Deacon  Henzy  was  anxious  Miss  Henzy 
should  get  the  news  as  quick  as  she  could.  So 
they  all  hastened  down  to  the  meetin'  house  to  tell  us. 

And  we  left  off  our  work  for  a  minute  to  hear 
'em.  It  wuzn't  nowhere  near  time  for  us  to  go 
home. 

Josiah  had  lots  of  further  business  to  do  in  Jones- 
ville  and  so  had  the  other  men.  But  the  news  had 
excited  'em,  and  exhilerated  'em  so,  that  they  had 
dropped  everything,  and  hastened  right  down  to  tell 
us,  and  then  they  wuz  a-goin*  back  agin  immegietly. 

I,  myself,  took  the  news  coolly,  or  as  cool  as  1 
could,  with  my  temperature  up  to  five  or  five  and 
a  half,  owin'  to  the  hard  work  and  the  heat. 


THE  LAST  NEWS  FROM  THE  CONFERENCE. 


266       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN, 

Miss  Gowdy  also  took  it  pretty  calm.  She  lean 
ed  on  her  mop  handle,  partly  for  rest  (for  she  was 
tuckered  out)  and  partly  out  of  good  manners,  and 
didn't  say  much. 

But  Miss  Sypher  is  such  a  admirin'  woman,  she 
looked  fairly  radiant  at  the  news,  and  she  spoke  up 
to  her  husband  in  her  enthusiastik  warm-hearted 
way — • 

"  Why,  Deacon  Sypher,  is  it  possible  that  I,  too, 
could  become  a  deacon,  jest  like  you  ?" 

"  No/'  sez  Deacon  Sypher  solemnly,  "  no,  Dru- 
silly,  not  like  me.  But  you  wimmen  have  got  the 
privelege  now,  if  you  are  single,  of  workin'  all  your 
days  at  church  work  under  the  direction  of  us  men." 

"  Then  I  could  work  at  the  Deacon  trade  under 
you,"  sez  she  admirin'ly, "  I  could  work  jest  like  you 
— pass  round  the  bread  and  wine  and  the  contribu 
tion  box  Sundays  ?" 

"  Oh,  no,  Drusilly,"  sez  he  condesendinly,  "  these 
hard  and  arjuous  dutys  belong  to  the  male  deacon- 
ship.  That  is  their  own  one  pertickiler  work,  that 
wimmen  can't  infringe  upon.  Their  hull  strength 
is  spent  in  these  duties,  wimmen  deacons  have  other 
fields  of  labor,  such  as  relievin'  the  wants  of  the  sick 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       267 

and  sufferirT,  sittin*  up  nights  with  small-pox  pa 
tients,  takin'  care  of  the  sufferin'  poor,  etc.,  etc." 

"  But,"  sez  Miss  Sypher  (she  is  so  good-hearted,  and 
so  awful  fond  of  the  deacon),  "  wouldn't  it  be 
real  sweet,  Deacon,  if  you  and  I  could  work  to 
gether  as  deacons,  and  tend  the  sick,  relieve  the  suf 
ferers — work  for  the  good  of  the  church  together — 
go  about  doin'  good  ?" 

u  No,  Drusilly,"  sez  he,"  that  is  wimmen's  work.  I 
would  not  wish  for  a  moment  to  curtail  the  holy 
rights  of  wimmen.  I  wouldn't  want  to  stand  in  her 
way,  and  keep  her  from  doin*  all  this  modest,  un- 
pretendin'  work,  for  which  her  weaker  frame  and 
less  hefty  brain  has  fitted  her. 

"  We  will  let  it  go  on  in  the  same  old  way.  Let 
wimmen  have  the  privelege  of  workin'  hard,  jest  as 
she  always  has.  Let  her  work  all  the  time,  day  and 
night,  and  let  men  go  on  in  the  same  sure  old  way 
of  superentendin'  her  movements,  guardin*  her 
weaker  footsteps,  and  bossin'  her  round  generally." 

Deacon  Sypher  is  never  happy  in  his  choice  of 
language,  and  his  method  of  argiment  is  such  that 
when  he  is  up  on  the  affirmative  of  a  question,  the 
negative  is  delighted,  for  they  know  he  will  bring 


268       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

victory  to  their  side  of  the  question.  Now,  he  didn't 
mean  to  speak  right  out  about  men's  usual  way  of 
bossin'  wimmen  round  It  was  only  his  unfortunate 
and  transparent  manner  of  speakin*. 

And  Deacon  Bobbet  hastened  to  cover  up  the 
remark  by  the  statement  that  "hewuz  so  highly  tick 
led  that  wimmen  wuzn't  goin*  to  be  admitted  to  the 
Conference,  because  it  would  weaken  the  Confer 


ence." 


"Yes,"  sez  my  Josiah,  a-leanin'  up  aginst  the 
meetin'  house  door,  and  talkin'  pretty  loud,  for  Sis 
ter  Peedick  and  me  had  gone  to  liftin'  round  the 
big  bench  by  the  door,  and  it  wuz  fearful  heavy, 
and  our  minds  wuz  excefsised  as  to  the  best  place  to 
put  it  while  we  wuz  a-cleanin'  the  floor. 

"  You  see,"  sez  he,  "  we  feel,  we  men  do,  we  feel 
that  it  would  be  weakenin'  to  the  Conference  to 
have  wimmen  admitted,  both  on  account  of  her  own 
lack  of  strength  and  also  from  the  fact  that  every 
woman  you  would  admit  would  keep  out  a  man. 
And  that,"  sez  he  (a-leanin'  back  in  a  still  easier 
attitude,  almust  a  luxurious  one),  *  that,  you  see, 
would  tend  naterally  to  weakenin'  the  strength  of 
a  church." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


269 


"  Wall,"  sez  I,  a-pantin'  hard  for  breath  under  my 
burden,  "  move  round  a  little,  won't  you,  for  we  want 
to  set  the  bench  here  while  we  scrub  under  it.  And," 


"WALL,"  SEZ  I,  "MOVE  ROUND  A  LITTLE,  WON'T  YOU,  FOR  WE  WANT 

TO    SET    THE    BENCH." 


sez  I,  a-stoppin*  a  minute  and  rubbin'  the  perspha- 
tin  and  sweat  often  my  face, 

"  Seein'  you  men  are  all  here,  can't  you  lay  holt 
and  help  us  move  out  the  benches,  so  we  can  clean 


2/0       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

the  floor  under  'em  ?  Some  of  'em  are  very  hefty," 
sez  I,  "and  all  of  us  Sisters  almost  are  a-makin'  soap, 
and  we  all  want  to  get  done  here,  so  we  can  go 
home  and  bile  down  ;  we  would  dearly  love  a  little 
help,"  sez  I. 

"  I  would  help,"  sez  Josiah  in  a  willin'  tone,  "  I 
would  help  in  a  minute,  if  I  hadn't  got  so  much  work 
to  do  at  home." 

And  all  the  other  male  bretheren  said  the  same 
thing— they  had  got  to  git  to  get  home  to  get  to 
work.  (Some  on  'em  wanted  to  play  checkers,  and  I 
knew  it.) 

But  some  on  'em  did  have  lots  of  work  on  their 
hands,  I  couldn't  dispute  it 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

HY,  Deacon  Henzy,  besides 
all  his  cares  about  the  buzz 
saw  mill,  and  his  farm  work, 
had  bought  a  steam  thresh- 
in'  machine  that  made  him 
sights  of  work.  It  was  a 
good  machine.  But  it  wuz 
fairly  skairful  to  see  it  a- 
steamin'  and  a-blowin'  right  along  the  streets  of 
Jonesville  without  the  sign  of  a  horse  or  ox  or  any 
thing  nigh  it  to  draw  it.  A-puffin5  out  the  steam, 
and  a-tearin'  right  along,  that  awful  lookin'  that  it 
skairt  she  that  wuz  Celestine  Bobbet  most  into  fits. 
She  lived  in  a  back  place  where  such  machines 
wuz  unknown,  and  she  had  come  home  to  her 
father's  on  a  visit,  and  wuz  goin'  over  to  visit  some 
of  his  folks  that  day,  over  to  Loontown. 

And  she  wuz  a-travellin'  along  peacible,  with  her 
father's  old  mair,  and  a-leanin'  back  in  the  buggy  a 


2/2       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

readin'  a  article  her  father  had  sent  over  by  her  to 
Deacon  Widrig,  a  witherin'  article  about  female 
Deaconesses,  and  the  stern  necessity  of  settin'  'em 
apart  and  sanctifyen'  'em  to  this  one  work — deacon 
work — and  how  they  mustn't  marry,  or  tackle  any 
other  hard  jobs  whatsumever,  or  break  off  into  any 
other  enterprize,  only  jest  plain  deacon  work. 

It  wuz  a  very  flowery  article.  And  she  wuz  en- 
joyin'  of  it  first  rate,  and  a-thinkin',  for  she  is  a  little 
timid  and  easily  skairt,  and  the  piece  had  convinced 
her— 

She  wuz  jest  a-thinkin'  how  dretful  it  would  be 
if  sum  female  deaconess  should  ever  venter  into  some 
other  branch  of  business,  and  what  would  be  apt  to 
become  of  her  if  she  did.  She  hated  to  think  of 
what  her  doom  would  most  likely  be,  bein'  tender 
hearted. 

When  lo,  and  behold  1  jest  as  she  wuz  a-thinkin' 
these  thoughts,  she  see  this  wild  and  skairful  ma 
chine  approachin',  and  Deacon  Henzy  a-standin' 
up  on  top  of  it  a-drivin'.  He  looked  wild  and  ex 
cited,  bein'  very  tickled  to  think  that  he  had  thresh 
ed  more  with  his  machine,  by  twenty  bushels,  than 
Deacon  Petengill  had  with  his. 


SHE  SEE  THIS  WILD  AND   SKAIRFUL  MACHINE  APPROACHIN*. 


2/4       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

There  was  a  bet  upon  these  two  deacons,  so  it 
wuz  spozed,  and  he  wuz  a-hastenin'  to  the  next 
place  where  he  wuz  to  be  setup,  so's  to  lose  no  time, 
and  he  was  kinder  hollerin'. 

And  the  wind  took  his  gray  hair  back,  and  his 
long  side  whiskers,  and  kinder  stood  'em  out,  and 
the  skirts  of  his  frock  the  same. 

His  mean  wuz  wild. 

And  it  wuz  more  than  Celestine's  old  mair  and 
she  herself  could  bear;  she  cramped  right  round  in 
the  road  (the  mair  did)  and  set  sail  back  to  old 
Bobbet'ses,  and  that  great  concern  a-puffin'  and  a- 
steamin'  along  after  'em. 

And  by  the  time  that  she  that  wuz  Celestine  got 
there  she  wuz  almost  in  a  fit,  and  the  mair  in  a  per 
fect  lather. 

Wall,  Celestine  didn't  get  over  it  for  weeks  and 
weeks,  nor  the  mair  nuther. 

And  besides  this  enterprize  of  Deacon  Henzy's, 
he  had  got  up  a  great  invention,  a  new  rat  trap,  that 
wuz  peculier  and  uneek  in  the  extreme. 

It  wuz  the  result  of  arjous  study  on  his  part,  by 
night  and  day,  for  a  long,  long  time,  and  it 
wuz  what  he  called  "  A  Travellin'  Rat  Trap."  It 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


275 


wuz  designed  to  sort  o'  chase  the  rats  round  and 
skair  'em. 


DEACON  HENZY'S  RAT  TRAP  (LIKE  A  CIRCUS  FOR  THE  RATS). 


It  was  spozed  he  got  the  idee  in  the  first  place 
from  his  threshin'  machine.  It  had  to  be  wound 
up,  and  then  it  would  take  after  'em — rats  or  mice, 


2/6       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

or  anything — and  they  do  say  that  it  wuz  quite  a 
success. 

Only  it  had  to  move  on  a  smooth  floor.  It  would 
travel  round  pretty  much  all  night ;  and  they 
say  that  when  it  wuz  set  up  in  a  suller,  it  would 
chase  the  rats  back  into  their  holes,  and  they  would 
set  there  and  look  out  on  it,  for  the  biggest  heft  of 
the  night.  It  would  take  up  their  minds,  and  kep 
'em  out  of  vittles  and  other  mischief. 

It  wuz  somethin'   like  providin'  a  circus  for  'em. 

But  howsumever,  the  Deacon  wuz  a-workin'  at 
this;  he  wuzn't  quite  satisfied  with  its  runnin'  gear, 
and  he  wuz  a-perfectin'  this  rat  trap  every  leisure 
minute  he  had  outside  of  his  buzz  saw  and  threshin' 
machine  business,  and  so  he  wuz  fearful  busy. 

Deacon  Sypher  had  took  the  agency  for  "The 
Wild  West,  or  The  Leaping  Cow  Boy  of  the  Plain," 
and  wuz  doin'  well  by  it. 

And  Deacon  Bobbet  had  took  in  a.  lot  of  mus 
tangs  to  keep  through  the  winter.  And  he  wuz  a 
ridin'  'em  a  good  deal,  accordin'  to  contract,  and 
tryin'  to  tame  'em  some  before  spring.  And  this 
work,  with  the  buzz  saw,  took  up  every  minute  of 
his  time. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


277 


For  the  mustangs  throwed  him  a  good  deal,  and 
he  had  to  lay  bound  up  in  linements  a  good  deal  of 
the  time,  and  arneky. 


HE  HAD  TO  LAY  BOUND  UP  IN    LINEMENTS  A   GOOT/  DEAL   OF   THE   TIME." 


So,  as  I  say,  it  didn't  surprise  me  a  mite  to  have 
'em  say  they  couldn't  help  us,  for  I  knew  jest  how 
these  jobs  of  theirn  devoured  their  time. 

And    when   my    Josiah  had  made  his  excuse,  it 


2/8       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

wuzn't  any  more  than  I  had  looked  out  for,  to  hear 
Deacon  Henzy  say  he  had  got  to  git  home  to 
ile  his  threshin'  machine.  One  of  the  cogs  wuz  out 
of  gear  in  some  way. 

He  wanted  to  help  us,  so  it  didn't  seem  as  if  he 
could  tear  himself  away,  but  that  steam  threshin'  ma 
chine  stood  in  the  way.  And  then  on  his  way  down 
to  Jonesville  that  very  mornin'  a  new  idee  had  come 
to  him  about  that  travellin'  rat  trap,  and  he  wanted 
to  get  home  jest  as  quick  as  he  could,  to  try  it. 

And  Deacon  Bobbet  said  that  three  of  them  mus 
tangs  he  had  took  in  to  break  had  got  to  be  rid  that 
day,  they  wuz  a  gettin'  so  wild  he  didn't  hardly  dast 
to  go  nigh  'em. 

And  Deacon  Sypher  said  that  he  must  hasten 
back,  for  a  man  wuz  a-comin1  to  see  him  from  way 
up  on  the  State  road,  to  try  to  get  a  agency  under 
him  for  "  The  Leaping  Cow  Boy  of  the  Plain."  And 
he  wanted  to  show  the  "  Leaping  Cow  Boy"  to 
some  agents  to  the  tavern  in  Jonesville  on  his  way 
home,  and  to  some  wimmen  on  the  old  Plank 
road.  Two  or  three  of  the  wimmen  had  gin  hopes 
that  they  would  take  the  "  Leaping  Cow  Boy." 

And  then  they  said — the  hull  three  of  the  deacons 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  279 

did — that  any  minute  them  other  deacons  who  wuz 
goin'  into  partnership  with  'em  in  the  buzz  saw 
business  wuz  liable  to  drive  down  to  see  'em  about 
it. 

And  some  of  the  other  men  brethren  said  their 
farms  and  their  live  stock  demanded  the  hull  of  their 
time — every  minute  of  it. 

So  we  see  jest  how  it  wuz,  we  see  these  male  dea 
cons  couldn't  devote  any  of  their  time  to  the  meetin' 
house,  nor  those  other  brethren  nuther. 

We  see  that  their  time  wuz  too  valuable,  and 
their  own  business  devoured  the  hull  on  it.  And 
we  married  Sisters,  who  wuz  acestemed  to  the 
strange  and  mysterius  ways  of  male  men,  we  ac 
cepted  the  situation  jest  es  we  would  any  other 
mysterius  dispensation,  and  didn't  say  nothin'. 

Good  land  !  We  wuz  used  to  curius  sayin's 
and  doin's,  every  one  on  us.  Curius  as  a  dog,  and 
curiuser. 

But  Sister  Meechim  (onmarried),  she  is  dretful 
questinin*  and  inquirin'  (men  don't  like  her,  they 
say  she  prys  into  subjects  she's  no  business  to  med 
dle  with).  She  sez  to  Josiah  : 

"  Why  is  it,  Deacon  Allen,  that  men  deacons  can 


280       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

carry  on  all  sorts  of  business  and  still  be  deacons, 
while  wimmen  deacons  are  obleeged  to  give  up  all 
other  business  and  devote  themselves  wholly  to  their 
work  ?" 

"  It  is  on  account  of  their  minds,"  sez  Josiah. 
"  Men  have  got  stronger  minds  than  wimmen,  that 
is  the  reason." 

And  Sister  Meechim  sez  agin — 

"  Why  is  it  that  wimmen  deacons  have  to  remain 
onmarried,  while  men  deacons  can  marry  one  wife 
after  another  through  a  long  life,  that  is,  if  they  are 
took  from  'em  by  death  or  a  divorce  lawyer?" 

"  Wall,"  sez  Josiah,  "  that,  too,  is  on  account  of 
their  brains.  Their  brains  hain't  so  hefty  es  men's." 

But  I  jest  waded  into  the  argument  then.  I  jest 
interfered,  and  sez  in  a  loud,  clear  tone, 

"Oh,  shaw!" 

And  then  I  sez  further,  in  the  same  calm,  clear 
tones,  but  dry  as  ever  a  dry  oven  wuz  in  its  dryest 
times.  Sez  I, 

"  If  you  men  can't  help  us  any  about  the  meetin' 
house,  you'd  better  get  out  of  our  way,  for  we  wim 
men  have  got  to  go  to  scrubbin'  right  where  you 
are  a-standin'." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       28l 

"  Certainly,"  sez  Josiah,  in  a  polite  axent, 
"  certainly." 

And  so  the  rest  of  the  men  said. 

And  Josiah  added  to  his  remarks,  as  he  went 
down  the  steps, 

"  You'd  better  get  home,  Samantha,  in  time  to 
cook  a  hen,  and  make  some  puddin',  and  so  forth." 

And  I  sez,  with  quite  a  lot  of  dignity,  "  Have  I 
ever  failed,  Josiah  Allen,  to  have  good  dinners  for 
you,  and  on  time  too  ?" 

"No,"  sez  he,  "but  I  thought  I  would  jest  stop 
to  remind  you  of  it,  and  also  to  tell  you  the  last 
news  from  the  Conference,  about  the  deaconesses." 

And  so  they  trailed  down  one  after  another, 
and  left  us  to  our  work  in  the  meetin'  house  ;  but 
as  they  disapered  round  the  corner,  Sister  Arvilly 
Lanfear,  who  hain't  married,  and  who  has  got  a 
sharp  tongue  (some  think  that  is  why,  but  I  don't  ; 
I  believe  Arvilly  has  had  chances). 

But  any  way,  she  sez,  as  they  went  down  the 
steps, 

"  I'll  bet  them  men  wuz  a-practisen*  their  new 
parts  of  men  supercntendents,  and  look  on  us  as 
a  lot  of  deaconesses." 


'JOSIAH  ADDED  TO   HIS  REMARKS.' 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       283 

-  Wall,"  sez  Sister  Gowdy— she  loves  to  put   on 
Arvilly— "wall,    you    have    got    one    qualificatin', 

Arvilly!" 

"Yes,  thank  the  Lord,"  sez  she. 

And  I  never  asked  what  she  meant,  but  knew 
well  enough  that  she  spoke  of  her  single  state. 
But  Arvilly  has  had  chances,  /think. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


GOT  home  in  time  to  get 
a  good  supper,  though 
mebbe  I  ortn't  to  say  it. 
Sure  enough,  Josiah  Al 
len  had  killed  a  hen,  and 
dressed  it  ready  for  me 
to  hrile,  but  it  vvuz  young 
and  tender,  and  I  knew 
it  wouldn't  take  long,  so 
I  didn't  care. 

Good  land  !  I  love  to  humor  him,  and  he  knows  it. 
Casper  Keeler  come  in  jest  as  I  wuz  a-gettin'  sup 
per  and  I  thought  like  as  not  he  would  stay  to  sup 
per  ;  I  laid  out  to  ask  him.  But  I  didn't  take  no 
more  pains  on  his  account.  No,  I  do  jest  as  well  by 
Josiah  Allen  from  day  to  day,  as  if  he  wuz  com 
pany,  or  lay  out  to, 

Casper  came  over  on  a  errent  about  that  buzz 
saw  mill.  He  wuz  in  dretful  good  spirits,  though 
he  looked  kinder  peaked. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


285 


He  had  jest  got  home  from  the  city. 
It  happened  dretful  curius,  but  jest  at  this  time 
Casper  Keeler  had    had  to   go  to  New    York    on 


ffi. 


CASPER  KEELER. 


business.    He  had  to  sign  some  papers  that  nobody 
else  couldn't  sign. 

His  mother  had  hearn  of  a  investment  there  that 
promised  to  pay  dretful  well,  so  she  had  took  a  lot  of 


'  K  EN. 


stock  in  it,  me!  it  iia-J  liz  right  up  powerful. 
Why  the  money  had  increased  fourfold,  and  more 
too,  and  Casper  bein'  jest  come  of  age,  had  to  go 
and  sign  suthin'  or  other. 

Wall,  he  went  round  and  see  lots  of  sights  in 
New  York.  His  ma's  money  that  she  had  left  him 
made  him  fairly  luxurius  as  to  comfort,  and  he  had 
plenty  of  money  to  go  sight  seein'  as  much  as  he 
wanted  to. 

He  went  to  all  the  theatres,  and  operas,  and  shows 
of  all  kinds,  and  museums,  and  the  Brooklyn  Bridge, 
and  circuses,  and  receptions,  and  et  cetery,  et  cetery. 

He  wuz  a-tellin'  me  how  much  money  he  spent 
while  he  wuz  there,  kinder  boastin'  on  it ;  he  had 
went  to  one  of  the  biggest,  highest  taverns  in  the 
hull  village  of  New  York,  where  the  price  wuz 
higher  than  the  very  highest  pinakleon  the  top  of  it, 
fur  higher. 

And  I  sez,  "  Did  you  go  to  the  Wimmen's  Ex 
change  and  the  Workin'  Wimmen's  Association, 
that  wuz  held  there  while  you  wuz  there  ?" 

And  he  acted  real  scorfinV 

"  Wimmen's  work  ! "  sez  he.  "  No,  indeed  !  I  had 
too  much  on  my  hands,  and  too  much  comfort  tg 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN  287 

take  in  higher  circles,  than  to  take  in  any  such  little 
trifles  as  wimmen's  work." 

Sez  I,  "  Young  man,  it  is  a  precious  little  you 
would  take  in  in  life  if  it  hadn't  been  for  wimmen's 
work.  Who  earned  and  left  you  the  money  you 
are  a-usin'  ?"  sez  I,  "  who  educated  you  and  made 
your  life  easy  before  you  ?" 

And  then  bein'  fairly  drove  into  a  corner,  he 
owned  up  that  his  mother  wuz  a  good  woman. 

But  his  nose  wuz  kinder  lifted  up  the  hull  of  the 
time  he  wuz  a-sayin'  it,  as  if  he  hated  to  own  it  up, 
hated  to  like  a  dog. 

But  he  got  real  happified  up  and  excited  after 
wards,  in  talkin'  over  with  Josiah  what  he  see  to  the 
Conference.  He  stayed  to  supper ;  I  wuz  a  sea- 
sonin'  my  chicken  and  -mashed  potatoes,  and 
garnishin'  'em  for  the  table.  I  wuz  out  to  one 
side  a  little,  but  I  listened  with  one  side  of  my 
brain  while  the  other  wuz  fixed  on  pepper,  ketchup, 
parsley,  etc.,  etc. 

Sez  Casper,  "  It  wuz  the  proudest,  greatest  hour 
of  my  life,"  sez  he,  "  when  I  see  a  nigger  delegate 
git  up  and  give  his  views  on  wimmen  keepin'  down 
in  their  place.  When  I  see  a  black  nigger  stand  up 


"  HE  SEEMED  TO   HAVE  A  HORROW  OF  WOMAN  A-RAISIN*   OUT  OP  HER   SPEAR. " 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       289 

there  in  that  Conference  and  state  so  clearly,  so  logi 
cally  and  so  powerfully  the  reasons  why  poor  weak 
wimmen  should  not  be  admitted  into  that  sacred  en 
closure — 

"  When  1  see  even  a  nigger  a-standin'  there  and 
a-knowin'  so  well  what  wimmen's  place  wuz,  my 
heart  beat  with  about  the  proudest  emotions  I  have 
ever  experienced.  Why,  he  said,"  sez  Casper,  "  that 
if  wimmen  wuz  allowed  to  stand  up  in  the  Con 
ference,  they  wouldn't  be  satisfied.  The  next  thing 
they  would  want  to  do  would  be  to  preach.  It 
wuz  a  masterly  argument,"  sez  Casper. 

"  It  must  have  been,"  sez  my  Josiah. 

"  He  seemed  to  have  such  a  horrow  of  a  weak- 
minded,  helpless  woman  a-raisin'  herself  up  out  of 
her  lower  spear." 

"  Well  he  might,"  sez  Josiah,  "well  he  might." 

Truly,  there  are  times  when  women  can't,  seem- 
inly,  stand  no  more.  This  wuz  one  on  'em,  and  I 
jest  waded  right  into  the  argiment.  I  sez,  real 
solemn  like,  a-holdin'  the  sprig  of  parsley  some 
like  a  septer,  only  more  sort  o'  riz  up  like  and 
mysteriouser.  Yes,  I  held  that  green  sprig  some 
as  the  dove  did  when  it  couldn't  find  no  rest  for 


290       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

the  soles  of  its  feet — no  foundation  under  it  and  it 
sailed  about  seekin'  some  mount  of  truth  it  could 
settle  down  on.  Oh  how  wobblin'  and  onsub- 
stantial  and  curius  I  felt  hearin'  their  talk. 

"And,"  sez  I,  "nobody  is  tickleder  than  I  be  to 
think  a  colored  man  has  had  the  right  gin  him  to 
stand  up  in  a  Conference  or  anywhere  else.  I 
have  probable  experienced  more  emotions  in  his  be 
half,"  sez  I,  "  deep  and  earnest,  than  any  other  female, 
ancient  or  modern.  I  have  bore  his  burdens  for 
him,  trembled  under  his  lashes,  agonized  with  him 
in  his  unexampled  griefs  and  wrongs  and  indigni 
ties,  and  I  have  rejoiced  at  the  very  depths  of  my 
soul  at  his  freedom. 

"  But,"  sez  I,  "  when  he  uses  that  freedom  to  en 
chain  another  and  as  deservin'  a  race,  my  feelin's 
are  hurt  and  my  indignations  are  riz  up. 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  a-wavin'  that  sprig  some  like  a  war 
like  banner,  as  my  emotions  swelled  up  under  my 
bask  waste, 

"  When  that  negro  stands  there  a-advocatin'  the 
slavery  of  another  race,  and  a-sayin'  that  women 
ortn't  to  say  her  soul  is  her  own,  and  wimmen  are 
too  weak  and  foolish  to  lift  up  their  right  hands, 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  29! 

much  less  preach,  I'd  love  to  ask  him  where  he 
and  his  race  wuz  twenty-five  years  ago,  and  where 
they  would  be  to-day  if  it  wuzn't  for  a  woman 
usin'  her  right  hand  and  her  big  heart  and  brain  in 
his  behalf,  and  preachin'  for  him  all  over  the  world 
and  in  almost  every  language  under  the  sun.  Every 
body  says  that  '  Uncle  Tom's  Cabin '  wuz  the 
search  in'  harrow  that  loosened  the  old,  hard  ground 
of  slavery  so  the  rich  seed  of  justice  could  be 
planted  and  bring  forth  freedom. 

"If  it  hadn't  been  for  that  woman's  preachin', 
that  negro  exhauster  would  to-day  most  likely  be  a 
hoin'  cotton  with  a  overseer  a-lashin'  him  up  to  his 
duties,  and  his  wife  and  children  and  himself  a- 
bein'  bought  and  sold,  and  borrowed  and  lent  and 
mortgaged  and  drove  like  so  many  animals.  And 
I'd  like  to  have  riz  right  up  in  that  Conference  and 
told  him  so." 

"  Oh,  no,"  sez  Josiah,  lookin'  some  meachin',  "  no, 
you  wouldn't." 

"  Yes,  I  would,"  sez  I.  "  And  I'd  Ve  enjoyed  it 
richly''  sez  I,  es  I  turned  and  put  my  sprig  round 
the  edge  of  the  platter. 

Casper  wuz  demute  for  as  much  as  half  a  minute, 


SAMANTHA  EXPRESSES  HER  VIEWS. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  .293 

and  Josiah  Allen  looked  mcachin'  for  about  the 
same  length  of  time. 

But,  good  land !  how  soon  they  got  over  it. 
They  wuz  as  chipper  as  ever,  a-runnin'  down  the 
idee  of  women  setting  before  they  got  half  through 
dinner. 

After  hard  and  arjuous  work  we  got  the  scrapin' 
done,  and  the  scrubbin'  done,  and  then  we  pro 
ceeded  to  make  a  move  towards  puttin'  on  the 
paper. 

But  the  very  day  before  we  wuz  to  put  on  our 
first  breadth,  Sister  Bobbet,  our  dependence  and 
best  paperer,  fell  down  on  a  apple  parin'  and 
hurt  her  ankle  jint,  so's  she  couldn't  stand  on  a  bar- 
ell  for  more'n  several  days. 

And  we  felt  dretful  cast  down  about  it,  for  we  all 
felt  as  if  the  work  must  stop  till  Sister  Bobbet  could 
be  present  and  attend  to  it. 

But,  as  it  turned  out,  it  wuz  perfectly  providential, 
so  fur  as  I  wuz  concerned,  for  on  goin'  home  that 
night  fearfully  deprested  on  account  of  Sister  Syl 
vester  Bobbet,  lo  and  behold !  I  found  a  letter 
there  on  my  own  mantletry  piece  that  completely 
turned  round  my  own  plans. 


294 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


It  come  entirely  onexpected  to  me,  and  contained 
the  startlin'  intelligence  that  my  own  cousin,  on  my 
mother's  own  side,  had  come  home  to  Loontown  to 
his  sister's,  and  wuz  very  sick  with  nervous  prostra 


"SISTER  BOBBET,  OUR  DEPENDENCE,  FELL  DOWN  ON  A  APPLE  PARIN'. 


tion,  neuralgia,  rheumatism,  etc.,  and  expected  par 
alasys  every  minute,  and  heart  failure,  and  such. 

And  his  sister,  Miss  Timson,  who  wrote  the  letter, 
beset  me  to  come  over  and  see  him.    She  said,  Jane 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       295 

Ann  did  (Miss  Timson'ses  name  is  Jane  Ann),  and 
sez    she    in     Post    scriptum    remark    to    me,    sez 

she — 

* 

"  Samantha,  I  know  well  your  knowledge  of  sick 
ness  and  your  powers  of  takin'  care  of  the  sick.  Do 
come  and  help  me  take  care  of  Ralph,  for  it  seems 
as  if  I  can't  let  him  go.  Poor  boy,  he  has  worked 
so  hard,  and  now  I  wuz  in  hopes  that  he  wuz  goin' 
to  take  some  comfort  in  life,  unbeknown  to  him. 
Do  come  and  help  him  for  my  sake,  and  for  Rosy's 
sake."  Rosy  wuz  Ralph's  only  child,  a  pretty  girl, 
but  one  ruther  wild,  and  needin'  jest  now  a  father's 
strong  hand. 

Rosy's  mother  died  when  she  wuz  a  babe,  and 
Ralph,  who  had  always  been  dretful  religius,  felt  it 
to  be  his  duty  to  go  and  preach  to  the  savages.  So 
Miss  Timson  took  the  baby  and  Ralph  left  all  his 
property  with  Miss  Timson  to  use  for  her,  and  then 
he  girded  up  his  lions,  took  his  Bible  and  him  book 
and  went  out  West  and  tackled  the  savages. 

Tackled  'em  in  a  perfectly  religius  way,  and 
done  sights  of  good,  sights  and  sights.  For  all  he 
wuz  so  mild  and  gentle  and  religius,  he  got  the 
upper  hand  of  them  savages  in  some  way,  and  he 


296 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


brung  'em  into  the  church  by  droves,  and  they  jest 
worshipped  him. 

Wall,  he  worked  so.  hard  a-tryin'  to  do  good  and 


RALPH  SMITH  ROBINSON. 


save  souls  that  wuz  lost — a-tryin'  single-handed 
to  overthrow  barberus  beliefs  and  habits,  and  set 
up  the  pure  and  peaceful  doctrines  of  the  Master 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  297 

he  loved  and  followed,  that  his  health  gin  out 
after  a  time — he  felt  weak  and  mauger. 

And  jest  about  this  time  his  sister  wrote  to  him 
that  Rosy  havin'  got  in  with  gay  companions,  wuz 
a  gettin'  beyond  her  influence,  and  she  needed  a 
father's  control  and  firm  hand  to  guide  her  right, 
or  else  she  would  be  liable  to  go  to  the  wrong,  and 
draw  lots  of  others  with  her,  for  she  wuz  a  born 
leader  amongst  her  mates,  jest  as  her  father  wuz— 
so  wouldn't  Ralph  come  home. 

Wall,  Ralph  come.  His  sister  and  girl  jest 
worshipped  him,  and  looked  and  longed  for  his 
comin',  as  only  tender-hearted  wimmen  can  love 
and  worship  a  hero.  For  if  there  wuz  ever  a  hero 
it  wuz  Ralph  Smith  Robinson. 

Wall,  Ralph  had  been  in  the  unbroken  silences 
of  nature  so  long,  that  the  clack,  and  crash,  and 
clamor  of  what  we  call  civilized  life  almost  crazed  him. 

He  had  been  where  his  Maker  almost  seemed  to 
come  down  and  walk  with  him  through  the  sweet, 
unbroken  stillnesses  of  mornin'  and  evenin'.  The 
world  seemed  so  fur  off  to  him,  and  the  Eternal  Veri 
ties  of  life  so  near,  that  truly,  it  sometimes  seemed 
to  him  as  if,  like  one  of  old,  "he  walked  with  God." 


298  SAM  AN  Til  A   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

Of  course  the  savages  war-whoopea  some,  but 
they  wuz  still  a  good  deal  of  the  time,  which  is  more 
than  you  can  say  for  Yankees. 

And  Loontovvn  when  he  got  home  was  rent  to  its 
very  twain  with  a  Presidential  election. 

Ralph  suffered. 

But  above  all  his  other  sufferin's,  he  suffered  from 
church  bells. 

Miss  Timson  lived,  as  it  wuz  her  wish,  and  often 
her  boast,  right  under  the  droppin's  of  the  sanc 
tuary. 

She  lotted  on  it  when  she  bought  the  place.  The 
Baptist  steeple  towered  up  right  by  the  side  of  her 
house.  Her  spare  bed  wuz  immegictly  under  the 
steeple. 

Wall,  comin'  as  he  did  from  a  place  where  he  wuz 
called  to  worship  by  the  voice  of  his  soul  and  his 
good  silver  watch — this  volume  of  clamor,  this  rush- 
in'  Niagara  of  sound  a-pourin'  down  into  his  ears, 
wuz  perfectly  intolerable  and  onbeerable.  He 
would  lay  awake  till  mornin'dreadin'the  sound,  and 
then  colapse  under  it,  till  it  run  along  and  he 
come  down  with  nervous  fever. 

He  wuz  worn  out  no  doubt  by  his  labors  before 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       299 

he  come,  and  any  way  he  wuz  took  bed-sick,  and 
couldn't  be  moved  so's  the  doctor  said,  and  he 
bein'  outside  of  his  own  head,  delerius,  couldn't 
of  course  advance  no  idees  of  his  own,  so  he  lay 
and  suffered. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


ISS  TIMSON'S  letter  vvuz 
writ  to  me  on  the  6th  day  of 
his  sickness,  and  Josiah  and 
me  set  sail  for  Loontown 
on  the  follerin'  day  after 
we  got  it. 

I    laid   the    case    before 
the  female  Sisters   of  the 

meetin'  house,  and  they  all  counselled  me  to  go. 
For,  as  they  all  said,  on  account  of  Sister  Bobbet's 
fallin'  on  the  apple  parin'  we  could  not  go  on  with 
the  work  of  paperin'  the  meetin'  house,  and  so  the 
interests  of  Zion  wouldn't  languish  on  account  of  my 
absence  for  a  day  or  two  any  way.  And,  as  the 
female  Sisters  all  said,  it  seemed  as  if  the  work  I  wuz 
called  to  in  Loontown  wuz  a  fair  and  square  case  of 
Duty,  so  they  all  counselled  me  to  go,  every  one  on 
'em.  Though,  as  wuz  nateral,  there  wuz  severel  di 
visions  of  opinions  as  to  the  road  I  should  take 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       301 

a-goin'  there,  what  day  I  should  come  back,  what 
remiedies  wuz  best  for  me  to  recommend  when  I  got 
there,  what  dress  I  should  wear,  and  whether  I  should 
wear  a  hankerchif  pin  or  not — or  a  bib  apron,  or 
a  plain  banded  one,  etc.,  etc.,  etc.,  etc. 

But,  as  I  sez,  as  to  my  goin'  they  wuz  every  one 
on  'em  unanimus.  They  meen  well,  those  sisters  in 
the  meetin'  house  do,  every  one  on  'em. 

Josiah  acted  real  offish  at  first  about  goin'.  And 
he  laid  the  case  before  the  male  brothers  of  the 
meetin'  house,  for  Josiah  wuz  fearful  that  the  inter 
ests  of  the  buzz  saw  mill  would  languish  in  his  ab 
sence.  One  or  two  of  the  weaker  brethren  joined 
in  with  him,  and  talked  kinder  deprestin'  about  it. 

But  Deacon  Sypher  and  Deacon  Henzy  said 
they  would  guard  his  interests  with  eagle  visions, 
or  somethin'  to  that  effect,  and  they  counselled 
Josiah  warmly  that  it  wuz  his  duty  to  go. 

We  hearn  afterwards  that  Deacon  Sypher  and 
Deacon  Henzy  wanted  to  go  into  the  North  Woods 
a-fishin'  and  a-huntin'  for  2  or  3  days,  and  it  has  al 
ways  been  spozed  by  me  that  that  accounted  for 
their  religeus  advice  to  Josiah  Allen. 

Howsumever,  I  don't  fcnozvthat.     But  I  do  know 


302 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


that  they  started  off  a-fishin'  the  very  day  we  left  for 
Loontown,  and  that  they  come  back  home  about 
the  time  we  did,  with  two  long  strings  of  trout. 


THE  RETURN  OF  THE  HUNTERS. 


And  there  wuz  them  that  said  that  they  ketched 
the  trout,  and  them  that  said  they  bought  'em. 

And  they  brung  back  the  antlers  of  a  deer  in  their 
game  bags,  and  some  bones  of  a  elk. 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  303 

And  there  are  them  that  sez  that  they  dassent, 
either  one  of  'em,  shoot  off  a  gun,  not  hardly  a  pop 
gun.  But  I  don't  know  the  truth  of  this.  I  know 
what  they  said,  they  sazdtlic  huntin'  wuz  excitin'to 
the  last  degree,  and  the  fishin'  superb. 

And  there  wuz  them  that  said  that  they  should 
think  the  huntin'  would  be  excitin',  a-rummagin' 
round  on  the  ground  for  some  old  bones,  and  they 
should  think  the  fishin'  would  be  superb,  a-dippin' 
'em  out  of  a  barell  and  stringin'  'em  onto  their  own 
strings. 

But  their  stories  are  very  large,  that  I  know. 
And  each  one  on  'em,  accordin'  to  their  tell,  ketched 
more  trouts  than  the  other  one,  and  fur  bigger  ones, 
and  shot  more  deers. 

Wall,  Deacon  Sypher'ses  advice  and  Deacon 
Henzy's  influenced  Josiah  a  good  deal,  and  I  said 
quite  a  few  words  to  him  on  the  subject,  and,  suffice 
it  to  say,  that  the  next  day,  about  10  A.M.,  we  set  out 
on  our  journey  to  Loontown. 

Miss  Timson  and  Rosy  seemed  dretful  glad  to 
see  me,  but  they  wuz  pale  and  wan,  wanner  fur 
than  I  expected  to  see  'em  ;  but  after  I  had  been 
there  a  spell  I  see  how  it  wuz.  I  see  that  Ralph 


MlSS    TlMSON   AND    ROSY    SEEMED    DRETFUL    GLAD   TO    SEE   ME." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  30$ 

wuz  their  hero  as  well  as  their  love,  and  they  wor 
shipped  him  in  every  way,  with  their  hearts  and  their 
souls  and  their  idealized  fancies. 

Wall,  he  wuz  a  noble  lookin'  man  as  I  ever  see, 
fur  or  near,  and  as  good  a  one  as  they  make,  he  wuz 
strong  and  tender,  so  I  couldn't  blame  'em. 

And  though  I  wouldn't  want  Josiah  to  hear  me 
say  too  much  about  it,  or  mebby  it  would  be  best 
that  he  shouldn't,  before  I  had  been  there  24  hours 
I  begun  to  feel  some  as  they  did. 

But  my  feelin's  wuz  strictly  in  a  meetin'  house 
sense,  strictly. 

But  I  begun  to  feel  with  them  that  the  middle  of 
the  world  wuz  there  in  that  bedroom,  and  the  still, 
white  figure  a-layin'  there  wuz  the  centre,  and  the 
rest  of  the  world  wuz  a-revolvin'  round  him. 

His  face  wuz  worn  and  marked  by  the  hand  of 
Time  and  Endeaver.  But  every  mark  wuz  a  good 
one.  The  Soul,  which  is  the  best  sculptor  after  all, 
had  chiselled  into  his  features  the  marks  of  a  death 
less  endeavor  and  struggle  toward  goodness,  which 
is  God.  Had  marked  it  with  the  divine  sweetness 
and  passion  of  Hvin'  and  toilin'  for  the  good  of 
others. 


306       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

He  had  gi'n  his  life  jest  as  truly  to  seek  and  save 
them  that  wuz  lost  as  ever  any  old  prophet  and 
martyr  ever  had  sense  the  world  began.  But  under 
all  these  heavenly  expressions  that  a  keen  eye  could 
trace  in  his  good  lookin'  face,  could  be  seen  a  deathly 
weakness,  the  consumin'  fire  that  wuz  a-consumin' 
of  him. 

Miss  Timson  wept  when  she  see  me,  and  Rosy 
threw  herself  into  my  arms  and  sobbed.  But  I 
gently  ondid  her  arms  from  round  my  neck  and  give 
Miss  Timson  to  understand  that  I  wuz  there  to 
help  'em  if  I  could. 

"  For,"  sez  I  softly,  "  the  hull  future  time  is  left  for 
us  to  weep  in,  but  the  present  wuz  the  time  to 
try  to  help  Ralph  S.  Robinson." 

Wall,  I  laid  to,  Josiah  a-helpin'  me  nobly,  a-pick- 
in'  burdock  leaves  or  beet  leaves,  as  the  case  might 
be,  and  a-standin'  by  me  nobly  all  through  the  fol- 
lerin'  night  (that  is,  when  he  wuz  awake). 

Josiah  and  I  took  care  on  him  all  that  night, 
Miss  Timson  refusin'  to  give  him  into  the  charge 
of  underlin's,  and  we  a-offerin'  and  not  to  be  re 
fused. 

Wall,  Josiah  slept  some,  or  that  is,  I  s'poze  he  did. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


307 


I  didn't  hear  much  from  him  from  10  P.M.  to  5  A.M., 
only  once  I  heard  him  murmer  in  his  sleep,  "buzz 
saw  mill." 


"  DIDN'T  SEE  HOW  FOLKS  NEEDED  so  MUCH  SLEEP." 

But  every  time  I  would  come  out  into  the  settin' 
room  where  he  sot  and  roust  him  up  to  get  sunthin' 
for  me,  he  would  say,  almost  warmly — 

"  Samantha,  that  last  remark  of  your'n  wuz  very 
powerful." 


308       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

And  I  wouldn't  waste  my  time  nor  hisen  by  tel- 
lin'  him  that  I  hadn't  made  no  remark,  nor  thought 
on't.  I  see  it  would  hurt  his  feelin's,  specilly  as 
he  would  add  in  haste — 

"  That  he  didn't  see  how  folks  needed  so  much 
sleep;  as  for  him,  it  wuz  a  real  treat  to  keep  awake 
all  night,  now  and  then." 

No,  I  would  let  it  go,  and  ask  him  for  burdock 
or  beet,  as  the  case  might  be.  Truly  I  had  enugh 
on  my  mind  and  heart  that  night  without  disputin" 
with  my  Josiah. 

Ralph  S.  Robinson  would  lay  lookin'  like  a 
dead  man  some  of  the  time,  still  and  demute,  and 
then  he  would  speak  out  in  a  strange  language, 
stranger  than  any  I  ever  heard.  He  would  preach 
sermons  in  that  language,  I  a-knowin'  it  wuz  a  ser- 
men  by  his  gestures,  and  also  by  my  feelin's.  And 
then  he  would  shet  up  his  eyes  and  pray  in  that 
strange,  strange  tongue,  and  anon  breakin'  out  into 
our  own  language.  And  once  he  said  : 

"  And  now  may  the  peace  of  God  be  with  you  all. 
Amen.  The  peace  of  God  !  the  peace  !  the  peace  !" 

His  voice  lingered  sort  o'  lovin'ly  over  that  word, 
and  I  felt  that  he  wuz  a-thinkinr  then  of  the  real 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  309 

peace,  the  onbroken  stillness,  outside  and  inside,  that 
he  invoked. 

Rosy  would  steal  in  now  and  then  like  a  sweet 
little  shadow,  and  bend  down  and  kiss  her  Pa,  and 
cry  a  little  over  his  thin,  white  hands  which  wuz  a- 
lyin'  on  the  coverlet,  or  else  lifted  in  that  strange 
speech  that  sounded  so  curius  to  us,  a-risin'  up 
out  of  the  stillness  of  a  Loontown  spare  bedroom 
on  a  calm  moonlit  evenin'. 

Wall,  Friday  and  Saturday  he  wuz  crazier' n  a 
loon,  more'n  half  the  time  he  wuz,  but  along  Sat 
urday  afternoon  the  Doctor  told  us  that  the  fever 
would  turn  sometime  the  latter  part  of  the  night, 
and  if  he  could  sleep  then,  and  not  be  disturbed, 
there  would  be  a  chance  for  his  life. 

Wall,  Miss  Timson  and  Rosy  both  told  me  how 
the  ringin'  of  the  bells  seemed  to  roust  him  up 
and  skair  him  (as  it  were)  and  git  him  all  excited 
and  crazy.  And  they  both  wuz  dretful  anxius  about 
the  mornin'  bells  which  would  ring  when  Ralph 
would  mebby  be  sleepin'.  So  thinkin'  it  wuz  a  case 
of  life  and  death,  and  findin'  out  who  wuz  the  one 
to  tackle  in  the  matter,  I  calmly  tied  on  my  bon 
net  and  walked  over  and  tackled  him. 


CHAPTER   XXIV. 


rT  wuz  Deacon  Garven  and  he  wuz  a 
close  communion  Baptist  by  per- 
swaision,  and  a  good  man,  so  fur  as 
firm  morals  and  a  sound  creed  goes. 
Some  things  he  lacked  :  he  hadn't 
no  immagination  at  all,  not  one 
speck.  And  in  makin'  him  up,  it 
seems  as  if  he  had  a  leetle  more  justice  added 
to  him  to  make  up  a  lack  of  charity  and  pity. 
And  he  had  a  good  deal  of  sternness  and  resolve  gin 
him,  to  make  up,  I  spoze,  for  a  lack  of  tenderness 
and  sweetness  of  nater. 

A  good  sound  man  Deacon  Garven  wuz,  a  man 
who  would  cheat  himself  before  he  would  cheat  a 
neighber.  He  wuz  jest  full  of  qualities  that  would 
hender  him  from  ever  takin'  a  front  part  in  a 
scandel  and  a  tragedy.  Yes,  if  more  men  wuz 
like  Deacon  Garven  the  pages  of  the  daily  papers 


SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  3!  I 

would  -fairly  suffer  for  rapiners,  embezzlers,  wife 
whippers,  etc. 

Wall,  he  wuz  in  his  office  when  I  tackled  him. 
The  hired  girl  asked  me  if  I  come  for  visitin'  pur 
poses  or  business,  and  I  told  her  firmly,  "  busi 
ness  !" 

So  she  walked  me  into  a  little  office  one  side  of 
the  hall,  where  I  spoze  the  Deacon  transacted  the 
business  that  come  up  on  his  farm,  and  then  he 
wuz  Justice  of  the  Peace,  and  trustee  of  varius 
concerns  (every  one  of  'em  good  ones). 

He  is  a  tall,  bony  man,  with  eyes  a  sort  of  a 
steel  gray,  and  thin  lips  ruther  wide,  and  settin' 
close  together.  And  without  lookin'  like  one,  or, 
that  is,  without  havin'  the  same  features  at  all,  the 
Deacon  did  make  me  think  of  a  steel  trap.  I  spoze 
it  wuz  because  he  wuz  so  sound,  and  sort  o'  firm. 
A  steel  trap  is  real  firm  when  it  lays  hold  and 
tries  to  be. 

Wall,  I  begun  the  subject  carefully,  but  straight 
to  the  pint,  as  my  way  is,  by  tellin'  him  that 
Ralph  S.  Robinson  wuz  a-layin'  at  death's  door,  and 
his  life  depended  on  his  gettin'  sleep,  and  we  wuz 
afraid  the  bells  in  the  mornin'  would  roust  him  up, 


THE  DEACON  DID  MAKE  ME  THINK  OF  A  STEEL  TRAP." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  313 

and  I  had  come  to  see  if  he  would  omit  the  ringin' 
of  'em  in  the  mornin'. 

"Not  ring  the  bells!"  sez  he,  in  wild  amaze. 
"  Not  ring  the  church  bells  on  the  Sabbath  day  ?" 

His  look  wuz  skairful  in  the  extreme,  but  I 
sez — 

"  Yes,  that  is  what  I  said,  we  beg  of  you  as  a 
Christian  to  not  ring  the  bells  in  the  mornin'." 

"  A  Christian  !  A  Christian  !  Advise  me  as  a 
Christian  to  not  ring  the  Sabbath  bells !" 

I  see  the  idee  skairt  him.  tie  wuz  fairly  pale 
with  surprise  and  borrow.  And  I  told  him  agin', 
puttin'  in  all  the  perticilers  it  needed  to  make  the 
story  straight  and  good,  how  Ralph  S.  Robinson 
had  labored  for  the  good  of  others,  and  how  his 
strength  had  gin  out,  and  he  wuz  now  a-layin'  at 
the  very  pint  of  death,  and  how  his  girl  and  his 
sister  wuz  a-breakin'  their  hearts  over  him,  and 
how  we  had  some  hopes  of  savin'  his  life  if  he 
could  get  some  sleep,  that  the  doctors  said  his  life 
depended  on  it,  and  agin  I  begged  him  to  do  what 
we  asked. 

But  the  Deacon  had  begin  to  get  over  bein' 
skairt,  and  he  looked  firm  as  anybody  ever  could, 


314       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

as  he  sez  :  "  The  bells  never  hurt  anybody,  I  know, 
for  here  I  have  lived  right  by  the  side  of  'em  for 
20  years.  Do  I  look  broke  down  and  weak  ?"  sez 
he. 

u  No,"  sez  I,  honestly.  "  No  more  than  a  grannit 
monument,  or  a  steel  trap." 

"Wall,"  sez  he,  "  what  don't  hurt  me  won't  hurt 
nobody  else." 

"  But,"  sez  I,  "  folks  are  made  up  different." 
Sez  I,  "  The  Bible  sez  so,  and  what  might  not  hurt 
you,  might  be  the  ruin  of  somebody  else.  Wuz 
you  ever  nervous?"  sez  I. 

"  Never,"  sez  he.  And  he  added  firmly,  "  I 
don't  believe  in  nerves.  I  never  did.  There  hain't 
no  use  in  'em." 

"  It  wuz  a  wonder  they  wuz  made,  then,"  sez  I. 
"  As  a  generel  thing  the  Lord  don't  make  things 
there  hain't  no  use  on.  Howsumever,"  sez  I, 
"  there  hain't  no  use  in  disputin'  back  and  forth  on 
a  nerve.  But  any  way,  sickness  is  so  fur  apart  from 
health,  that  the  conditions  of  one  state  can't  be 
compared  to  the  other;  as  Ralph  S.  Robinson  is 
now,  the  sound  of  the  bells,  or  any  other  loud 
noise  means  torture  and  agony  to  him,  and,  I  am 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.  315 

afraid,  death.     And   I  wish  you  would  give  orders 
to  not  have  'em  rung  in  the  mornin'." 

"  Are  you  a  professor  ?"  sez  he. 

"  Yes,"  sez  I. 

"  What  perswaision  ?"     sez  he. 

"  Methodist  Episcopal,"  sez  I. 

"  And  do  you,  a  member  of  a  sister  church,  which, 
although  it  has  many  errors,  is  still  a-gropin'  aftei 
the  light !  Do  you  counsel  me  to  set  aside  the 
sacred  and  time  honored  rules  of  our  church,  and 
allow  the  Sabbath  to  go  by  unregarded,  have  the 
sanctuary  desecrated,  the  cause  of  religion  lan 
guish — I  cannot  believe  it.  Think  of  the  wide 
spread  desolation  it  would  cause  if,  as  the  late 
lamented  Mr.  Selkirk  sung: 

"  '  The  sound  of  the  church-going  bells, 
These  valleys  and  hills  never  heard.'  ' 

"  No   church,    no   sanctuary,    no    religius  observ 


ances." 


"  Why,"  sez  I,  "  that  wouldn't  hinder  folks  from 
goin'  to  church.  Folks  seem  to  get  to  theatres, 
lectures,  and  disolvin'  views  on  time,  and  better 
time  than  they  do  to  meetin',"  sez  I.  "  In  your 
opinin'  it  hain't  necessary  to  beat  a  drum  and  sound 


316     SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

on  a  bugle  as  the  Salvation  Army  duz,  to  call  folks 
to  meetin' ;  you  are  dretful  hard  on  them,  so  I 
hear." 

"  Yes,  they  make  a  senseless,  vulgar,  onnecessary 
racket,  disturbin'  and   agrivatin'    to   saint    and  sin 


ner." 


"  But,"  sez  I,  "  they  say  they  do  it  for  the  sake  of 
religion." 

u  Religion  hain't  to  be  found  in  drum-sticks,"  sez 
he  bitterly. 

"  No,"  sez  I,  "  nor  in  a  bell  clapper." 

"  Oh,"  sez  he,  "  that  is  a  different  thing  entirely, 
that  is  to  call  worshippers  together,  that  is  neces 
sary." 

Sez  I,  "  One  hain't  no  more  necessary  than  the 
other  in  my  opinion." 

Sez  he,  "  Look  how  fur  back  in  the  past  the  sweet 
bells  have  sounded  out." 

"  Yes,"  sez  I  candidly,  "  and  in  the  sweet  past 
they  wuz  necessary,"  sez  I.  "  In  the  sweet  past, 
there  wuzn't  a  clock  nor  a  watch,  the  houses  wuz 
fur  apart,  and  they  needed  bells.  But  now  there 
hain't  a  house  but  what  is  runnin'  over  with  clocks 
— everybody  knows  the  time  ;  they  know  it  so  much 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  317 

that  time  is  fairly  a  drug  to  'em.  Why,  they  time 
themselves  right  along  through  the  day,  from  break 
fast  to  midnight.  Time  their  meals,  their  business, 
their  pleasures,  their  music,  their  lessons,  their  visits, 
their  visitors,  their  pulse  beats,  and  their  dead  beats. 
They  time  their  joys  and  their  sorrows,  and  every 
thing  and  everybody,  all  through  the  week,  and 
why  should  they  stop  short  off  Sundays?  Why  not 
time  themselves  on  goin*  to  meetin'  ?  They  do, 
and  you  know  it.  There  hain't  no  earthly  need  of 
the  bells  to  tell  the  time  to  go  to  meetin',  no  more 
than  there  is  to  tell  the  time  to  put  on  the  tea-kettle 
to  get  supper.  If  folks  want  to  go  to  meetin'  they 
will  get  there,  bells  or  no  bells,  and  if  they  don't 
want  to  go,  bells  hain't  a-goin'  to  get  'em  started. 

"  Take  a  man  with  the  Sunday  World  jest  brung 
in,  a-layin'  on  a  lounge,  with  his  feet  up  in  a  chair, 
and  kinder  lazy  in  the  first  place,  bells  hain't  a-goin' 
to  start  him. 

"  And  take  a  woman  with  her  curl  papers  not  took 
down,  and  a  new  religeus  novel  in  her  hand,  and  a 
miliner  that  disapinted  her  the  night  before,  and 
bells  hain't  a-goin'  to  start  her.  No,  the  great  bell 
of  Moscow  won't  start  'em. 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

"  And  take  a  good  Christian  woman,  a  widow,  for 
instance,  who  loves  church  work,  and  has  a  good 
handsome  Christian  pasture,  who  is  in  trouble,  lost 


"  BELLS  HAIN'T  A-GOIN'  TO  START  HIM." 

his  wife,  mebby,  or  sunthin'  else  bad,  and  the  lack 
of  bells  hain't  a-goin'  to  keep  that  women  back,  no, 
not  if  there  wuzn't  a  bell  on  earth." 

"Oh,  wall,  wavin'  off  that  side  of  the  subject,"  sez 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       319 

he  (I  had  convinced  him,  I  know,  but  he  wouldn't 
own  it,  for  he  knew  well  that  if  folks  wanted  to  go 
they  always  got  there,  bells  or  no  bells).  "  But,"  sez 
he  wavin'  off  that  side  of  the  subject,  "  the  ob 
servance  is  so  time  honored,  so  hallowed  by  tender 
memories  and  associations  all  through  the  past." 

"Don't  you  'spoze,  Deacon  Garven,"  sez  I,  "that 
I  know  every  single  emotion  them  bells  can  bring 
to  anybody,  and  felt  all  those  memorys  and  associa 
tions.  I'll  bet,  or  I  wouldn't  be  afraid  to  bet,  if  I  be 
lieved  in  bettin',  that  there  hain't  a  single  emotion 
in  the  hull  line  of  emotions  that  the  sound  of  them 
bells  can  wake  up,  but  what  I  have  felt,  and  felt 
'em  deep  too,  jest  as  deep  as  anybody  ever  did,  and 
jest  es  many  of  'em.  But  it  is  better  for  me  to  do 
without  a  upliftin',  soarin'  sort  of  a  feelin'  ruther  than 
have  other  people  suffer  agony." 

"  Agony  !"  sez  he, "  talk  about  their  causin'  agony, 
when  there  hain't  a  more  heavenly  sound  on  earth." 

"  So  it  has  been  to  me,"  sez  I  candidly.  "  To  me 
they  have  always  sounded  beautiful,  heavenly. 
Why,"  sez  I,  a-lookin'  kinder  fur  off,  beyond 
Deacon  Garven,  and  all  other  troubles,  as  thoughts 
of  beauty  and  insperation  come  tg  me  borne  out  of 


A-LEANIN'  OVER  THE  FROJ^T  GATE  PN  A  STILL  SPRING  MORNIN 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       321 

the  past  into  my  very  soul,  by  the  tender  memo 
ries  of  the  bells — thoughts  of  the  great  host  of  be 
lievers  who  had  gathered  together  at  the  sound  of 
the  bells — the  great  army  of  the  Redeemed — 

'Some    of    the    host    have   crossed     the    flood,    and    some 
are  crossin'  now,' 

thinks  I  a-lookin'  way  off  in  a  almost  rapped  way. 
And  then  I  sezto  Deacon  Garven  in  a  low  soft  voice, 
lower  and  more  softer  fur,  than  I  had  used  to  him, 

"  Don't  I  know  what  it  is  to  stand  a-leanin'  over 
the  front  gate  on  a  still  spring  mornin',  the  smell  of 
the  lilacs  in  the  air,  and  the  brier  roses.  A  dew 
sparklin'  on  the  grass  under  the  maples,  and  the 
sunshine  a-fleckin'  the  ground  between  'em,  and  the 
robins  a-singin'  and  the  hummin'  birds  a-hoverin' 
round  the  honeysuckles  at  the  door.  And  over  all 
and  through  all,  and  above  all  clear  and  sweet,  corn- 
in'  from  fur  off  a-floatin'  through  the  Sabbath  still 
ness,  the  sound  of  the  bells,  a-bringin'  to  us  sweet 
Sabbath  messages  of  love  and  joy.  Bringin' 
memories  too,  of  other  mornin's  as  fair  and  sweet, 
when  other  ears  listened  with  us  to  the  sound, 
other  eyes  looked  out  on  the  summer  beauty,  and 
smiled  at  the  sound  of  the  bells. 


322  SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

"  Heavenly  emotions,  sweet  emotions  come  to  me 
on  the  melody  of  the  bells,  peaceful  thoughts,  inspir- 
in'  thoughts  of  the  countless  multitude  that  has 
flocked  together  at  the  sound  of  the  bells.  The 
aged  feet,  the  eager  youthful  feet,  the  children's  feet, 
all,  all  walkin'  to  the  sound  of  the  bells.  Thoughts 
of  the  happy  youthful  feet  that  set  out  to  walk  side 
by  side,  at  their  ringin'  sounds.  Thoughts  of  the 
aged  ones  grown  tired,  and  goin'  to  their  long  dream 
less  sleep  to  their  solemn  sound.  Thoughts  of  the 
brave  hero's  who  set  out  to  protect  us  with  their 
lives  while  the  bells  wuz  ringin'  out  their  approval 
of  such  deeds.  Thoughts  of  how  they  pealed  out 
joyfully  on  their  return  bearin'  the  form  of  Peace. 
Thoughts  of  how  the  bells  filled  the  mornin'  and 
evenin'  air,  havin'  throbbed  and  beat  with  every 
joy  and  every  pain  of  our  life,  till  they  seem  a  part 
of  us  (as  it  were)  and  the  old  world  would  truly 
seem  lonesome  without  'em. 

11  As  I  told  you,  and  told  you  truly,  I  don't  believe 
there  is  a  single  emotion  in  the  hull  line  of  emo 
tions,  fur  or  near,  but  what  them  bells  have  rung 
into  my  very  soul. 

"But  such  emotions,  beautiful  and  inspirin' though 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       323 

they  are,  can  be  dispensed  with  better  than  justice 
and  mercy  can.  Sweet  and  tender  sentiment  is 
dear  to  me,  truly,  near  and  dear,  but  mercy  and 
pity  and  common  Sense,  have  also  a  powerful  grip 
onto  my  right  arm,  and  have  to  lead  me  round  a 
good  deal  of  the  time. 

"  Beautiful  emotion,  when  it  stands  opposed  to 
eternal  justice,  ort  to  step  gently  aside  and  let  jus 
tice  have  a  free  road.  Sentiment  is  truly  sweet,  but 
any  one  can  get  along  without  it,  take  it  right  along 
through  the  year,  better  than  they  can  without  sleep. 

"  You  see  if  you  can't  sleep  you  must  die,  while  a 
person  can  worry  along  a  good  many  years  without 
sentiment.  Or,  that  is,  I  have  been  told  they  could 
I  don't  know  by  experience,  for  I  have  always  had 
a  real  lot  of  it.  You  see  my  experience  has  been 
such  that  I  could  keep  sentiment  and  comfort  too. 
But  my  mind  is  such,  that  I  have  to  think  of 
them  that  hain't  so  fortunate  as  I  arn. 

" 1  have  looked  at  the  subject  from  my  own  stand 
point,  and  have  tried  also  to  look  at  it  through 
others*  eyes,  which  is  the  only  way  we  can  get  a 
clear,  straight  light  on  any  subject.  As  for  me,  as 
I  have  said,  I  would  love  to  hear  the  sweet,  far  off 


324  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

sound  of  the  bells  a-tremblin'  gently  over  the  hills 
to  me  from  Jonesville ;  it  sounds  sweeter  to  me 
than  the  voices  of  the  robins  and  swallers,  a-comin' 
home  from  the  South  in  the  'spring  of  the  year. 
And  I  would  deerly  love  to  have  it  go  on  and  on  as 
fur  as  my  own  feelins  are  concerned.  But  I  have 
got  to  look  at  the  subject  through  the  tired  eyes, 
and  feel  it  through  the  worn-out  nerves  of  others, 
who  are  sot  down  right  under  the  wild  clamor  of 
the  bells. 

"What  comes  to  me  as  a  heavenly  melody  freighted 
full  of  beautiful  sentiment  and  holy  rapture  comes 
to  them  as  an  intolerable  agony,  a-maddenin'  dis 
cord,  that  threatens  their  sanity,  that  rouses  'em 
up  from  their  fitful  sleep,  that  murders  sleep — the 
bells  to  them  seem  murderus,  strikin'  noisily  with 
brazen  hands,  at  their  hearts. 

"  To  them  tossin'  on  beds  of  nervous  suffering  who 
lay  for  hours  fillin'  the  stillness  with  horror,  with 
dread  of  the  bells,  where  fear  and  dread  of  'em 
exceed  the  agony  of  the  clangor  of  the  sound  when 
it  comes  at  last.  Long  nights  full  of  a  wakeful 
horror  and  expectency,  fur  worse  than  the  realiza 
tion  of  their  imaginin's.  To  them  the  bells  are  a 


TOSSIN'    ON  BEDS  OF  NERVOUS   SUFFERIN1." 


326  SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

instrument  of  torture  jest  as  tuff  to  bear  as  any  of 
the  other  old  thumb  screws  and  racks  that  wrung 
and  racked  our  old  4  fathers  in  the  name  of  Re 
ligion. 

"  I  have  to  think  of  the  great  crowd  of  humanity 
huddled  together  right  under  the  loud  clangor  of 
the  bells  whose  time  of  rest  begins  when  the  sun 
comes  up,  who  have  toiled  all  night  for  our  com 
fort  and  luxury.  So  we  can  have  our  mornin' 
papers  brought  to  us  with  our  coffee.  So  we  can 
have  the  telegraphic  messages,  bringing  us  good 
news  with  our  toast.  So's  we  can  have  some  of 
our  dear  ones  come  to  us  from  distant  lands  in  the 
morning.  I  must  think  of  them  who  protect  us 
through  the  night  so  we  can  sleep  in  peace. 

"Hundreds  and  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  these, 
our  helpers  and  benafacters,  work  all  night  for  our 
sakes,  work  and  toil.  The  least  we  can  do  for 
these  is  to  help  'em  to  the  great  Restorer,  sleep, 
all  we  can. 

"  Some  things  we  can't  do ;  we  can't  stop  the 
creakin'  sounds  of  the  world's  work  ;  the  big  roar 
of  the  wheel  of  business  that  rolls  through  the 
week  days,  can't  be  oiled  into  stillness  ;  but  Sundays 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  327 

they  might  get  a  little  rest.  Sunday  is  the  only  day 
of  rest  for  thousands  of  men  and  wimmen,  nervous, 
pale,  worn  by  their  week's  hard  toil. 

"  The  creakin'  of  the  wheels  of  traffic  are  stopped 
on  this  day.  They  could  get  a  little  of  the  rest 
they  need  to  carry  on  the  fight  of  life  to  help 
support  wife,  child,  father,  husband  ;  but  religeon  is 
too  much  for  'em — the  religeon  that  the  Bible 
declares  is  mild,  peacible,  tender.  It  clangs  and 
bangs  and  whangs  at  'em  till  the  day  of  rest  is  a 
torment. 

"  Now  the  Lord  wouldn't  approve  of  this.  I  know 
He  wouldn't,  for  He  was  always  tender  and  pitiful 
full  of  compassion.  I  called  it  religeon  for  oritory, 
but  it  hain't  religeon,  it  is  a  relict  of  old  Bar- 
berism  who,  under  the  cloak  of  Religeon,  whipped 
quakers  and  hung  prophetic  souls,  that  the  secrets 
of  Heaven  had  been  revealed  to,  secrets  hidden 
from  the  coarser,  more  sensual  vision." 

Sez  Deacon  Garven :  "  I  consider  the  bells  as 
missionarys.  They  help  spread  the  Gospel." 

"And,"  sez  I,  for  I  wuz  full  of  my  subject,  and  kep 
him  down  to  it  all  I  could,  "  Ralph  S.  Robinson 
has  spread  the  Gospel  over  acres  and  acres  of  land, 


328       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

and  brung  in  droves  and  droves  of  sinners  into  the 
fold  without  the  help  of  church  or  steeple,  let  alone 
bells,  and  it  seems  es  if  he  ortn't  to  be  tortured  to 
death  now  by  'em." 

"  Wall,"  he  said,  "  he  viewed  'em  as  Gospel  means, 
and  he  couldn't,  with  his  present  views  of  his  duty 
to  the  Lord,  omit  'em." 

Sez  I,  "  The  Lord  didn't  use  'em.  He  got  along 
without  'em." 

"  Wall,"  he  said,  "  it    wuz  different  times    now." 

Sez  I,  "  The  Lord,  if  He  wuz  here  to-day,  Dea 
con  Garven,  if  He  had  bent  over  that  form  racked 
with  pain  and  sufferin'  and  that  noise  of  any  kind  is 
murderous  to,  He  would  help  him,  I  know  He 
would,  for  He  wuz  good  to  the  sick,  and  tender 
hearted  always." 

"  Wall,  /will  help  him,"  sez  Deacon  Garven,  "  I 
will  watch,  and  I  will  pray,  and  I  will  work  for  him." 

Sez  I,  "  Will  you  promise  me  not  to  ring  the 
bells  to-morrow  mornin';  if  he  gets  into  any  sleep  at 
alldurin'  the  24  hours,  it  is  along  in  the  mornin',  and 
I  think  if  we  could  keep  him  asleep,  say  all  the  fore 
noon,  there  would  be  a  chance  for  him.  Will  you 
promise  me?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       329 

"  Wall,"  sez  he  kinder  meltin'  down  a  little,  "  I 
will  talk  with  the  bretheren." 

Sez  I,  "  Promise  me,  Deacon  Eben  Garven,  before 
you  see  'em." 

Sez  he,  "  I  would,  but  I  am  so  afraid  of  bringin' 
the  Cause  of  Religeon  into  contempt.  And  I  dread 
meddlin'  with  the  old  established  rules  of  the 
church." 

Sez  I,  "  Mercy  and  justice  and  pity  wuz  set  up 
on  earth  before  bells  wuz,  and  I  believe  it  is  safe  to 
foller  'em." 

But  he  wouldn't  promise  me  no  further  than  to 
talk  with  the  bretheren,  and  I  had  to  leave  him  with 
that  promise.  As  things  turned  out  afterwuds,  I 
wuz  sorry,  sorry  es  a  dog  that  I  didn't  shet  up 
Deacon  Garven  in  his  own  smoke  house,  or  cause 
him  to  be  shet,  and  mount  a  guard  over  him,  armed 
nearly  to  the  teeth  with  clubs. 

But  I  didn't,  and  I  relied  some  on  the    bretheren. 

Ralph  wuz  dretful  wild  all  the  forepart  of  the 
night.  He'd  lay  still  for  a  few  minutes,  and  then 
he  would  get  all  rousted  up,  and  he  would  set  up 
in  bed  and  call  out  some  words  in  that  strange 
tongue. 


330       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

And  he  would  lift  up  his  poor  weak  right  arm, 
strong  then  in  his  fever,  and  preach  long  sermons  in 
that  same  strange  curius  language.  He  would 
preach  his  sermon  right  through,  earnest  and  fer 
vent  as  any  sermon  ever  wuz.  I  would  know  it  by 
the  looks  of  his  face.  And  then  he  would  some 
times  sing  a  little  in  that  same  singular  language, 
and  then  he  would  lay  down  for  a  spell. 

But  along  towards  mornin'  I  see  a  change,  his 
fever  seemed  to  abate  and  go  down  some — very 
gradual,  till  just  about  the  break  of  day,  he  fell  into 
a  troubled  sleep — or  it  wuz  a  troubled  sleep  at 
first — but  growin'  deeper  and  more  peaceful  every 
minute.  And  along  about  eight  o'clock  he  wuz  a- 
sleepin'  sweet  for  the  first  time  durin'  his  sickness  ; 
it  wuz  a  quiet  restful  sleep,  and  some  drops  of  pres- 
peration  and  sweat  could  be  seen  on  his  softened 
features. 

We  all  wuz  as  still,  almost,  as  if  we  wuz  autom- 
atoes,  we  wuz  so  afraid  of  makin'  a  speck  of  noise 
to  disturb  him.  We  kep  almost  breathless,  in  our 
anxiety  to  keep  every  mite  of  noise  out  of  his 
room.  But  I  did  whisper  to  Rosy  in  a  low  still 
voice — 


"  THE  LORD  BE  PRAISED,  WE  SHALL  PULL  HIM  THROUGH.' 


332       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

"  Your  father  is  saved,  the  Lord  be  praised,  we 
shall  pull  him  through." 

She  jest  dropped  onto  her  knees,  and  laid  her 
head  in  my  lap  and  cried  and  wept,  but  soft  and 
quiet  so's  it  wouldn't  disturb  a  mice. 

Miss  Timson  wuz  a-prayin',  I  could  see  that.  She 
wuz  a-returnin'  thanks  to  the  Lord  for  his  mercy. 

As  for  me,  I  sot  demute,  in  that  hushed  and 
darkened  room,  a-watchin'  every  shadow  of  a  change 
that  might  come  to  his  features,  with  a  teaspoon 
ready  to  my  hand,  to  give  him  nourishment  at  the 
right  time  if  he  needed  it,  or  medicine. 

When  all  of  a  sudden — slam  !  bang !  rush  !  roar  ! 
slam  !  slam  !  ding  !  dong !  bang  ! ! !  come  right 
over  our  heads  the  wild,  deafening  clamor  of  the 
bells. 

Ralph  started  up  wilder  than  ever  because  of  his 
momentary  repose.  He  never  knew  us,  nor  any 
thing,  from  that  time  on,  and  after  sufferin'  for  an 
other  24  hours,  sufferin'  that  made  us  all  willin'  to 
have  it  stop,  he  died. 

And  so  he  who  had  devoted  his  hull  life  to  re- 
ligeon  wuz  killed  by  it.  He  who  had  gin  his  hull 
life  for  the  true,  wuz  murdered  by  the  false. 


"AND   I   THOUGHT  HE  WUZ   PRONOUNCIN*  A  BENEDICTION  ON  THE  SAVAGKS." 


334  SAMANTKA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

His  last  move  wuz  to  spread  out  his  hands,  and 
utter  a  few  of  them  strange  words,  as  if  in  benedic 
tion  over  a  kneelin'  multitude.  And  I  thought 
then,  and  I  think  still,  that  he  wuz  pronouncin'  a 
benediction  on  the  savages.  And  I  have  always 
hoped  that  the  mercy  he  besought  from  on  High  at 
that  last  hour  brought  down  God's  pity  and  forgive 
ness  on  all  benighted  savages,  and  bigoted  ones, 
Deacon  Garven,  and  the  hull  on  'em. 


CHAPTER   XXV. 

HE  very  next  day  after  I  got  home 
from  Miss  Timson'ses,  we  vvimmen 
all  met  to  the  meetin'  house  agin 
as  usial,  for  we  knew  very  well  that 
the  very  hardest  and  most  arjuous 
part  of  our  work  lay  before  us. 
For  if  it  had  been  hard  and  tuckerin'  to  what  it 
seemed  the  utmost  limit  of  tucker,  to  stand  up  on 
a  lofty  barell,  and  lift  up  one  arm,  and  scrape  the 
cei4in',  what  would  it  be,  so  we  wildly  questioned 
our  souls,  and  each  other,  to  stand  up  on  the  same 
fearful  hites,  and  lift  both  arms  over  our  heads,  and 
get  on  them  fearful  lengths  of  paper  smooth. 

I  declare,  when  the  hull  magnitude  of  the  task 
we  had  tackled  riz  before  us,  it  skairt  the  hull  on 
us,  and  nuthin'  but  our  deathless  devotion  to  the 
Methodist  meetin'  house,  kep  us  from  startin'  off  to 
our  different  homes  on  the  run. 

But  lovin'  it  as  we  did,  as  the  very  apples  in  our 


336 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 


eyes,  and  havin'   in    our   constant  breasts    a   deter 
minate  to  paper  that  meetin'  house,  or  die  in  the  at 
tempt,  we  made  ready  to  tackle  it. 


."WE   HAD   TO   WAIT   FOR  THE   PASTE   TO   BILE." 

Yet  such  wuz  the  magnitude  of  the  task,  and 
our  fearful  apprehensions,  that  after  we  had  looked 
the  ceilin'  all  over,  and  examined  the  paper — we  all 
sot  down,  as  it  were,  instinctivly,  and  had  a  sort  of 
a  conference  meetin'  (we  had  to  wait  for  the  paste 
to  bile  anyway,  it  wuz  bein'  made  over  the  stove  in 
the  front  entry). 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  337 

The  subject  of  our  conference  wuz,  our  great 
work  already  accomplished,  and  to  be  undertook. 
The  big  fair  that  wuz  a-loomin'  up  ahead  on  us, 
and  what  each  one  on  us  wuz  a-goin'  to  do  for  this 
same  fair. 

And  jest  how  he  would  get  holt  of  the  money  to 
buy  the  materials  that  we  had  to  have,  to  make  up 
the  articles  to  carry  to  the  fair. 

We  all  knew  and  realized  only  too  well,  what 
fearful  hard  work  it  wuz  for  a  woman  to  get  holt  of 
a  cent  of  money  to  give  away  in  charity ;  it  is  all  she 
can  do,more'n  a  good  deal  of  the  time,  to  get  money  to 
buy  necessaries  with — so  we  all  set  and  confided  in 
each  other  and  conferred,  and  laid  on  our  plans, 
and  cut  the  edges  offen  the  paper  at  the  same  time, 
for  we  all  felt  that  we  couldn't  set  idle  in  such  a 
time  es  this. 

Wall,  cuttin'  the  edges  offen  the  paper  we  found 
wuz  a  long  and  petickuler  job,  and  by  the  time 
we  got  ready  to  paste  the  first  breath — the  paste 
havin'  been  sot  out  to  cool  on  the  ground  in  a  ten 
quart  pan — the  very  first  move  we  made  with  the 
brush,  the  handle  come  out. 

Another  delay  and  reverse  for  us,  but  we  took 


WE   ALL  SET   AND  LAID   ON   OUR   PLANS,    AND   CUT  THE    EDGES   OFFEN  THE 

PAPER." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       339 

it  middlin  calm,  and  Miss  Gowdy  offered  to  be  the 
one  to  carry  it  back  to  Jonesville,  and  change  it 
that  very  afternoon — for  we  could  not  afford  to  buy 
a  new  one,  and  we  had  the  testimony  of  as  many 
as  twenty-one  or  two  pairs  of  eyes,  that  the  handle 
didn't  come  out  by  our  own  carelessness,  but  by  its 
own  inherient  weakness — so  we  spozed  he  would 
swap  it,  we  spozed  so.  But  it  wuz  arrainged  be 
fore  we  disbanded  (the  result  of  our  conference), 
that  the  next  mornin'  we  would  each  one  on  us 
bring  our  offerin's  to  the  fair,  and  hand  'em  in  to 
the  treasurer,  so's  she  would  know  in  time  what  to 
depend  on,  and  what  she  had  to  do  with. 

And  we  agreed  (also  the  result  of  our  confer 
ence)  that  we  would,  each  one  on  us,  tell  jest  how  we 
got  the  money  and  things  to  give  to  the  fair. 

And  then  we  disbanded  and  started  off  home, 
but  I'll  bet  that  each  one  on  us,  in  a  sort  of  secret 
unbeknown  way,  gin  a  look  on  that  lofty 
ceilin',  them  dangerus  barells,  and  that  pile  of 
paper,  and  groaned  a  low  melancholy  groan  all  to 
herself. 

I  know  I  did,  and  I  know  Submit  Tewksbury  did, 
for  I  stood  close  to  her  and  heard  her.  But  then  to  be 


340 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


exactly  jest,  and  not  a  mite  underhanded,  I  ort  mebby 
to  say,  that  her  groan  may  be  caused  partly  by  the 
fact  that  that  aniversery  of  hern  wuz  a-drawin'  so 


V       N^ 


"THE   HANDLE   COME   OUT.' 


near.  Yes,  the  very  next  day  wuz  the  day  jest  20 
years  ago  that  Samuel  Danker  went  away  from  Sub 
mit  Tewksbury  to  heathen  lands,  Yes,  the  next 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       341 

day  wuz  the  one  that  she  always  set  the  plate  on  for 
him — the  gilt  edged  chiny  with  pink  sprigs. 

But  I'll  bet  that  half  or  three  quarters  of  that  low 
melancholy  groan  of  her'n  wuz  caused  by  the  hard 
ness  of  the  job  that  loomed  up  in  front  of  us,  and 
the  hull  of  mine  wuz. 

Wall,  that  night  Josiah  Allen  wuz  a-feelin'  dret- 
ful  neat,  fer  he  had  sold  our  sorell  colt  for  a  awful 
big  price. 

It  wuz  a  good  colt;  its  mother  wuz  took  sick  when 
it  wuz  a  few  days  old,  and  we  had  brung  it  up  as  a 
corset,  or  ruther  I  did,  fer  Josiah  Allen  at  that  time 
had  the  rheumatiz  to  that  extent  that  he  couldn't 
step  his  foot  on  the  floor  for  months,  so  the  care  of 
the  corset  come  on  me,  most  the  hull  on  it,  till  it  got 
big  enough  to  run  out  in  the  lot  and  git  its  own 
livin'. 

Night  after  night  I  used  to  get  up  and  warm  milk 
for  it,  when  it  wuz  very  small,  for  it  wuz  weakly,  and 
we  didn't  know  as  we  could  winter  it. 

We  kep  it  in  a  little  warm  shed  offen  the  wood 
house  for  quite  a  spell,  but  still  I  used  to  find  it  con 
siderable  cold  when  I  would  meander  out  there  in  a 
icy  night  to  feed  it. 


*"  I  WOULD  MEANDER  OUT  THERE  IN  A  ICY  NIGHT  TO  FEED  IT." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       343 

But  jest  as  it  is  always  the  way  with  wimmen,  the 
more  care  1  took  on  it,  the  more  it  needed  me  and 
depended  on  me,  the  better  I  liked  it. 

Till  I  got  to  likin'  it  so  well  that  it  wuzn't  half 
so  hard  a  job  for  me  to  go  out  to  feed  it  in  the  night 
as  it  would  have  been  to  laid  still  in  my  warm  bed 
and  think  mebby  it  wuz  cold  and  hungry. 

So  I  would  pike  out  and  feed,  it  two  or  three 
times  a  night. 

That  is  the  nater  of  wimmen,  the  weaker  it  wuz 
and  the  humblier  it  wuz,  and  the  more  it  needed 
me,  the  more  I  thought  on  it. 

And  as  is  the  nater  of  man,  Josiah  Allen  didn't 
seem  to  care  so  much  about  it  while  it  wuz  weak 
and  humbly  and  spindlin'. 

He  told  me  time  and  agin,  that  I  couldn't  save  it, 
and  it  never  would  amount  to  anything  and  wuzn't 
nothin'  but  legs  any  way,  and  lots  of  other  slightin' 
remarks.  And  he'd  call  it  "  horse  corset"  in  a  kind 
of  a  light,  triflin'  way,  that  wuz  apt  to  gaul  a  wom 
an  when  she  come  back  with  icy  night-gown  and 
frosty  toes  and  fingers,  way  along  in  the  night. 

He'd  wake  up,  a-layin'  there  warm  and  comfort 
able  on  his  soft  goose  feather  piller  and  say  to  me: 


BEEN  OUT  TO  TEND  TO  YOUR  'HORSE  CORSET,'  HAVE  YOU?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       345 

"  Been  out   to    tend  to  your   '  horse  corset/  have 
you  ?" 

"  Horse  corset !     Wall,  what  if  it  wuz  ?" 

Such  language  way  along  in  the  night,  from  a 
warm  comfortable  pardner  to  a  cold  one,  is  apt  to 
make  some  words  back  and  forth. 

And  then  he'd  speak  of  its  legs  agin,  in  the  most 
slightin'  terms — and  he'd  ask  me  if  didn't  want  its 
picter  took — etc.,  etc.,  etc. 

(I  believe  one  thing  that  ailed  Josiah  Allen  wuz 
he  didn't  want  me  to  get  up  and  get  my  feet  so  cold). 

But,  as  I  wuz  a-sayin',  though  I  couldn't  deny  some 
of  his  words,  for  truly  its  legs  did  seem  to  be  at  the 
least  calculation  a  yard  and  a  half  long,  specilly  in 
the  night,  why  they'd  look  fairly  pokerish. 

And  though  I  knew  it  wuz  humbly  still  I  perse 
vered,  and  at  last  it  got  to  thrivin'  and  growin'  fast. 
And  the  likelier  it  grew,  and  the  stronger,  and  the 
handsomer,  so  Josiah  Allen's  likin'  for  it  grew  and 
increased,  till  he  got  to  settin'  a  sight  of  store  by  it. 

And  now  it  wuz  a  two-year-old,  and  he  had  sold 
it  for  two  hundred  and  fifteen  dollars.  It  wuz  spozed 
it  wuz  goin'  to  make  a  good  trotter. 

Wall,  seein'  he  had  got  such  a  big  price  for  the 


346       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

colt,  and  knowin' well  that  I  wuz  the  sole  cause  of  its 
bein'  alive  at  this  day,  I  felt  that  it  wuz  the  best  time 
in  the  hull  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days  of  the 
year  to  tackle  him  for  sunthin'  to  give  to  the  fair. 
I  felt  that  the  least  he  could  do  would  be  to  give 
me  ten  or  fifteen  dollars  for  it.  So  consequently 
after  supper  wuz  out  of  the  way,  and  the  work  done 
up,  I  tackled  him. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 


E  wuz  jest  a-countin'  out  his 
money  prior  to  puttin'  it  away 
in  his  tin  box,  and  I  laid  the 
subject  before  him  strong  and 
eloquent,  jest  the  wants  and 
needs  of  the  meetin'  house,  and 
jest  how  hard  we  female  sisters 
wuz  a-workin',  and  jest  how  much  we  needed  some 
money  to  buy  our  ingregiencies  with  for  the  fair. 

He  set  still,  a-countin' out  his  money,  but  I  know 
he  heard  me.  There  wuz  four  fifty  dollar  bills,  a 
ten,  and  a  five,  and  I  felt  that  at  the  very  least  cal 
culation  he  would  hand  me  out  the  ten  or  the  five, 
and  mebby  both  on  'em. 

But  he  laid  'em  careful  in  the  box,  and  then  pulled 
out  his  old  pocket-book  out  of  his  pocket,  and  hand 
ed  me  a  ten  cent  piece. 

I  wuz  mad.  And  I  hain't  a-goin'  to  deny  that 
we  had  some  words.  Or  at  least  I  said  some  words 


"  HANDED  ME  A  TEN  CENT  PIECE." 


SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  349 

to  him,  and  gin  him  a  middlin'  clear  idee  of  how 
I  felt  on  the  subject. 

Why,  the  colt  wuz  more  mine  than  his  in  the  first 
place,  and  I  didn't  want  a  cent  of  money  for  myself, 
but  only  wanted  it  for  the  good  of  the  Methodist 
meetin'  house,  which  he  ort  to  be  full  as  interested 
in  as  I  wuz. 

Yes,  I  gin  him  a  pretty  lucid  idee  of  what  my 
feelin's  wuz  on  the  subject — and  spozed  mebby  I  had 
convinced  him.  I  wuz  a-standin'  with  my  back  to 
him,  a-ironin'  a  shirt  for  him,  when  I  finished  up  my 
piece  of  mind.  And  thought  more'n  as  likely  as 
not  he'd  break  down  and  be  repentent,  and  hand  me 
out  a  ten  dollar  bill. 

But  no,  he  spoke  out  as  pert  and  cheerful  as  any 
thing  and  sez  he: 

"  Samantha,  I  don't  think  it  is  necessary  for  Chris 
tians  to  give  such  a  awful  sight.  Jest  look  at  the 
widder's  mit." 

I  turned  right  round  and  looked  at  him,  holdin' 
my  flat-iron  in  my  right  hand,  and  sez  I : 

"What  do  you  mean,  Josiah  Allen?  What  are 
you  talkin'  about  ?" 

"  Why  the  widder's  mit  that  is  mentioned  in  Scrip- 


WHAT  DO  YOU  MEAN,  JOSIAH  ALLEN?    WHAT  ARE  YOU  TALKIN'  ABOUT?" 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       351 

ter,  and  is  talked  about  so  much  by  Christians  to 
this  day.  Most  probable  it  wuz  a  odd  one,  I  dare 
persume  to  say  she  had  lost  the  mate  to  it.  It  spe- 
cilly  mentions  that  there  wuzn't  but  one  on  'em. 
And  jest  see  how  much  that  is  talked  over,  and 
praised  up  clear  down  the  ages,  to  this  day.  It 
couldn't  have  been  worth  more'n  five  cents,  if  it  wuz 
worth  that." 

"  How  do  you  spell  mit,  Josiah  Allen  ?"  sez  I. 

"Why  m-i-t-e,  mit." 

"  I  should  think,"  sez  I,  "that  that  spells  mite." 

"  Oh  well,  when  you  are  a-readin'  the  Bible,  all 
the  best  commentaters  agree  that  you  must  use  your 
own  judgment.  Mite!  What  sense  is  there  in 
that  ?  Widder's  mite  I  There  hain't  any  sense  in 
it,  not  a  mite." 

And  Josiah  kinder  snickered  here,  as  if  he  had 
made  a  dretful  cute  remark,  bringin'  the  "  mite  "  in 
in  that  way.  But  I  didn't  snicker,  no,  there  wuzn't 
a  shadow,  or  trace  of  anything  to  be  heard  in  my  line- 
ment,  but  solemn  and  bitter  earnest.  And  I  set  the 
flat-iron  down  on  the  stove,  solemn,  and  took  up  an 
other,  solemn,  and  went  to  ironin'  on  his  shirt  col 
lar  agin  with  solemnety  and  deep  earnest. 


352  SAMANTIIA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

"No,"  Josiah  Allen  continued,  "there  hain't  no 
sense  in  that — but  mit !  there  you  have  sense.  All 
vvimmen  wear  mits  ;  they  love  'em.  She  most  prob 
able  had  a  good  pair,  and  lost  one  on  'em,  and  then 
give  the  other  to  the  church.  I  tell  you  it  takes  men 
to  translate  the  Bible,  they  have  such  a  realizin' sense 
of  the  weaknesses  of  wimmen,  and  how  necessary  it 
is  to  translate  it  in  such  a  way  as  to  show  up  them 
weaknesses,  and  quell  her  down,  and  make  her  know 
her  place,  make  her  know  that  man  is  her  superior 
in  every  way,  and  it  is  her  duty  as  well  as  privilege 
to  look  up  to  him." 

And  Josiah  Allen  crossed  his  left  leg  over  his 
right  one,  as  haughty  and  over  bearin'  a-crossin'  as  I 
ever  see  in  my  life,  and  looked  up  haughtily  at  the 
stove-pipe  hole  in  the  ceilin',  and  resoomed, 

"  But,  as  I  wuz  sayin'  about  her  mit,  the  widder's, 
you  know.  That  is  jest  my  idee  of  givin',  equinomi- 
cal,  savin',  jest  as  it  should  be." 

"  Yes,"  sez  I,  in  a  very  dry  axent,  most  as  dry  as 
my  flat-iron,  and  that  wuz  fairly  hissin'  hot.  "  She 
most  probable  had  some  man  to  advise  her,  and  to 
tell  her  what  use  the  mit  would  be  to  support  a  big 
meetin'  house." 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       353 

Oh,  how  dry  my  axent  wuz.  It  wuz  the  very 
dryest,  and  most  irony  one  I  keep  by  me — and  I 
keep  dretful  ironlkle  ones  to  use  in  cases  of  necessity. 

"  Most  probable,"  sez  Josiah,  "  most  probable  she 
did."  He  thought  I  wuz  praisin'  men  up/  and  he 
acted  tickled  most  to  death. 

"  Yes,  some  man  without  any  doubt,  advised  her, 
told  her  that  some  other  widder  would  lose  one  of 
hern,  and  give  hers  to  the  meetin'  house,  jest  the 
mate  to  hern.  That  is  the  way  I  look  at  it,"  sez  he 
"  and  I  mean  to  mention  that  view  of  mine  on  this 
subject  the  very  next  time  they  take  up  a  subscrip 
tion  in  the  meetin'  house  and  call  on  me." 

But  I  turned  and  faced  him  then  with  the  hot  flat- 
iron  in  my  hand,  and  burnin'  indignation  in  my  eys, 
and  sez  I : 

"  If  you  mention  that,  Josiah  Allen,  in  the  meetin' 
house,  or  to  any  livin'  soul  on  earth,  I'll  part  with 
you."  And  I  would,  if  it  wuz  the  last  move  I  ever 
made. 

But  I  gin  up  from  that  minute  the  idea  of  gettin' 
anything  out  of  Josiah  Allen  for  the  fair.  But  I 
had  some  money  of  my  own  that  I  had  got  by  sell- 
in'  three  pounds  of  geese  feathers  and  a  bushel  of 


354       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

dried  apples,  every  feather  picked  by  me,  and  every 
quarter  of  apple  pared  and  peeled  and  strung  and 
dried  by  me.  It  all  come  to  upvverds  of  seven  dol 
lars,  and  I  took  every  cent  of  it  the  next  day  out 


"HER   CHILDREN  ARE  VERY   HARD   ON  THEIR  TROUSES. 

of  my  under  bureau  draw  and  carried  it  to  the 
meetin'  house  and  gin  it  to  the  treasurer,  and  told 
'em,  at  the  request  of  the  hull  on  'em,  jest  how  I 
got  the  money. 


SAMANTHA   AMONG  THE   BRETHREN.  355 

And  so  the  hull  of  the  female  sisters  did,  as  they 
handed  in  their  money,  told  jest  how  they  come 
by  it. 

Sister  Moss  had  seated  three  pairs  of  children's 
trouses  for  young  Miss  Gowdy,  her  children  are 
very  hard  on  their  trouses  (slidin*  down  the  banes- 
ters  and  such).  And  young  Miss  Gowdy  is  onex- 
perienced  yet  in  mendin',  so  the  patches  won't  show. 
And  Sister  Moss  had  got  forty-seven  cents  for  the 
job,  and  brung  it  all,  every  cent  of  it,  with  the  ex 
ception  of  three  cents  she  kep  out  to  buy  pepper 
mint  drops  with.  She  has  the  colic  fearful,  and  pep 
permint  sometimes  quells  it. 

Young  Miss  Gowdy  wuz  kep  at  home  by  some 
new,  important  business  (twins).  But  she  sent 
thirty-two  cents,  every  cent  of  money  she  could  rake 
and  scrape,  and  that  she  had  scrimped  out  of  the 
money  her  husband  had  gin  her  for  a  woosted 
dress.  She  had  sot  her  heart  on  havin'  a  ruffle  round 
the  bottom  (he  didn't  give  her  enough  for  a  over- 
shirt),  but  she  concluded  to  make  it  plain,  and  sent 
the  ruffle  money. 

And  young  Sister  Serena  Nott  had  picked  geese 
for  her  sister,  who  married  a  farmer  up  in  Zoar.  She 


356 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


had  picked  ten  geese  at  two  cents  apiece,  and  Sere 
na  that  tender-hearted  that  it  wuz  like  pickin'  the 
feathers  offen  her  own  back. 

And  then  she  is  very  timid,  and  skairt  easy,  and 


"SHE   HAD   PICKED   TEN   GEESE   AT   TWO    CENTS   APIECE." 

she  owned  up  that  while  the  pickin'  of  the  geese  al 
most  broke  her  heart,  the  pickin'  of  the  ganders 
almost  skairt  her  to  death.  They  wuz  very  high 
headed  and  warlike,  and  though  she  put  a  stockin' 


SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN.  357 

over  their  heads,  they  would  lift  'em  right  up,  stock- 
in'  and  all,  and  hiss,  and  act,  and  she  said  she  picked 
'em  at  what  seemed  to  her  to  be  at  the  resk  of  her 
life. 

But  she  loved  the  meetin'  house,  so  she  grin  and 
bore  it,  as  the  sayin'  is,  and  she  brung  the  hull  of 
her  hard  earned  money,  and  handed  it  over  to  the 
treasurer,  and  everybody  that  is  at  all  educated 
knows  that  twice  ten  is  twenty.  She  brung-  twenty 
cents. 

Sister  Grimshaw  had,  and  she  owned  it  right  out 
and  out,  got  four  dollars  and  fifty-three  cents  by 
sellin'  butter  on  the  sly.  She  had  took  it  out  of 
the  butter  tub  when  Brother  Grimshaw's  back  wuz 
turned,  and  sold  it  to  the  neighbors  for  money  at 
odd  times  through  the  year,  and  besides  gettin'  her 
a  dress  cap  (for  which  she  wuz  fairly  sufferin'),  she 
gin  the  hull  to  the  meetin'  house. 

There  wuz  quite  dubersome  looks  all  round  the 
room  when  she  handed  in  the  money  and  went 
right  out,  for  she  had  a  errent  to  the  store. 

And  Sister  Gowdy  spoke  up  and  said  she  didn't 
exactly  like  to  use  money  got  in  that  way. 

But  Sister  Lanfear  sprunted  up,  and  brung  Jacob 


358       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

right  into  the  argument,  and  the  Isrealites  who  bor 
rowed  jewelry  of  the  Egyptians,  and  then  she 
brung  up  other  old  Bible  characters,  and  held  'em 
up  before  us. 

But  still  we  some  on  us  felt  dubersome.  And 
then  another  sister  spoke  up  and  said  the  hull 
property  belonged  to  Sister  Grimshaw,  every  mite  of 
it,  for  he  wuzn't  worth  a  cent  when  he  married  her — 
she  wuz  the  widder  Bettenger,  and  had  a  fine  prop 
erty.  And  Grimshaw  hadn't  begun  to  earn  what  he 
had  spent  sense  (he  drinks).  So,  sez  she,  it  all  be 
longs  to  Sister  Grimshaw,  by  right. 

Then  the  sisters  all  begin  to  look  less  dubersome. 
But  I  sez : 

"  Why  don't  she  come  out  openly  and  take  the 
money  she  wants  for  her  own  use,  and  for  church 
work,  and  charity  ?" 

"  Because  he  is  so  hard  with  her,"  sez  Sister  Lan- 
fear,  "  and  tears  round  so,  and  cusses,  and  commits 
so  much  wickedness.  He  is  willin'  she  should  dress 
well — wants  her  to — and  live  well.  But  he  don't  want 
her  to  spend  a  cent  on  the  meetin'  house.  He  is  a 
atheist,  and  he  hain't  willin'  she  should  help  on  the 
Cause  of  religeon.  And  if  he  knows  of  her  givin'  any 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

to  the  Cause,  he  makes  the  awfulest  fuss,  scolds,  and 
swears,  and  threatens  her,  so's  she  has  been  made 
sick  by  it,  time  and  agin." 

"  Wall,"  sez  I,  "  what  business  is  it  to  him  what  she 
does  with  her  own  money  and  her  own  property  ?" 

I  said  this  out  full  and  square.  But  I  confess 
that  I  did  feel  a  little  dubersome  in  my  own  mind. 
I  felt  that  she  ort  to  have  took  it  more  openly. 

And  Sister  Grimshaw's  sister  Amelia,  who  lives 
with  her  (onmarried  and  older  than  Sister  Grimshaw, 
though  it  hain't  spozed  to  be  the  case,  for  she  has 
hopes  yet,  and  her  age  is  kep).  She  had  been  and 
contoggled  three  days  and  a  half  for  Miss  Elder 
Minkley,and  got  fifty  cents  a  day  for  contogglin'. 

She  had  fixed  over  the  waists  of  two  old  dresses, 
and  contoggled  a  old  dress  skirt  so's  it  looked  most 
as  well  as  new.  Amelia  is  a  good  contoggler  and 
a  good  Christian.  And  I  shouldn't  be  surprised 
any  day  to  see  her  snatched  away  by  some  widower 
or  bachelder  of  proper  age.  She  would  be  willin', 
so  it  is  spozed. 

Wall,  Sister  Henn  kinder  relented  at  the  last,  and 
brung  two  pairs  of  fowls,  all  picked,  and  tied  up  by 
their  legs.  And  we  thought  it  wuz  kinder  funny  and 


36o 


SAMANTIIA  AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 


providential  that  one  Henn  should  bring  four  more 
of  'em. 

But  we  wuz  tickled,  for  we  knew  we  could  sell 


"  SUBMIT  TEWKSBURY  DID  BRING  THAT  PLATE." 

'em  to  the  grocer  man  at  Jonesville   for  upwerds  of 
a  dollar  bill. 

And  Submit  Tewksbury,  what  should  that  good 
little  creeter  bring,  and  we  couldn't  any  of  us  hardly 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       361 

believe  our  eyes  at  first,  and  think  she  could  part 
with  it,  but  she  did  bring  that  plate.  That  pink 
edged,  chiny  plate,  with  gilt  sprigs,  that  she  had 
used  as  a  memorial  of  Samuel  Danker  for  so  many 
years.  Sot  it  up  on  the  supper  table  and  wept  in 
front  of  it 

Wall,  she  knew  old  china  like  that  would  bring 
a  fancy  price,  and  she  hadn't  a  cent  of  money  she 
could  bring,  and  she  wanted  to  do  her  full  part  to- 
werds  helpin'  the  meetin'  house  along — so  she  tore 
up  her  memorial,  a-weepin'  on  it  for  hours,  so  we 
spozed,  and  offered  it  up,  a  burnt  chiny  offerin'  to  the 
Lord. 

Wall,  I  am  safe  to  say,  that  nothin'  that  had  took 
place  that  day  had  begun  to  affect  us  like  that. 

To  see  that  good  little  creeter  lookin'  pale  and 
considerble  wan,  hand  in  that  plate  and  never  groan 
over  it,  nor  nothin',  not  out  loud  she  didn't,  but  we 
spozed  she  kep  up  a  silent  groanin'  inside  of  her, 
for  we  all  knew  the  feelin'  she  felt  for  the  plate. 

It  affected  all  on  us  fearfully. 

But  the  treasurer  took  it,  and  thanked  her  almost 
warmly,  and  Submit  merely  sez,  when  she  wuz 
thanked : 


362       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

"  Oh,  you  are  entirely  welcome  to  it,  and  I  hope 
it  will  fetch  a  good  price,  so's  to  help  the  cause 
along." 

And  then  she  tried  to  smile  a  little  mite.  But  I 
declare  that  smile  wuz  more  pitiful  than  tears  would 
have  been. 

Everybody  has  seen  smiles  that  seemed  made  up, 
more  than  half,  of  unshed  tears,  and  withered  hopes, 
and  disappointed  dreams,  etc.,  etc. 

Submit's  smile  wuz  of  that  variety,  one  of  the  very 
curiusest  of  'em,  too.  Wall,  she  gin,  I  guess,  about 
two  of  'em,  and  then  she  went  and  sot  down. 


CHAPTER    XXVII. 

ND  now  I  am  goin'  to  relate  the  very 
singulerist  thing  that  ever  happened 
in  Jonesville,  or  the  world — although 
it  is  eppisodin'  to  tell  on  it  now,  and 
also  a-gettin'  ahead  of  my  story,  and 
hitchin',  as  you  may  say,  my  cart  in 
front  of  my  horse.     But  it  has  got  to  be  told  and  I 
don't  know  but  I  may  as  well  tell  it  now  as  any 
time. 

Mebby  you  won't  believe  it.  I  don't  know  as  I 
should  myself,  if  it  wuz  told  to  me,  that  is,  if  it  come 
through  two  or  three  But  any  way  it  is  the  livin' 
truth. 

That  very  night  as  Submit  Tewksbury  sat  alone  at 
her  supper  table,  a-lookin'  at  that  vacent  spot  on 
the  table-cloth  opposite  to  her,  where  the  plate  laid 
for  Samuel  Danher  had  set  for  over  twenty  years, 
she  heard  a  knock  at  the  door,  and  she  got  up  hasty 
and  wiped  away  her  tears  and  opened  the  door. 


364       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

A  man  stood  there  in  the  cold  a-lookin'  into  the 
warm  cosy  little  room.  He  didn't  say  nothin',  he 
acted  strange.  He  gin  Submit  a  look  that  pierced 
clear  to  her  heart  (so  they  say).  A  look  that  had  in 
it  the  crystallized  love  and  longin'  of  twenty  years  of 
faithfulness  and  heart  hunger  and  homesickness.  It 
wuz  a  strange  look. 

Subrnit's  heart  begun  to  flutter,  and  her  face  grew 
red  and  then  white,  and  she  sez  in  a  little  fine  trem- 
blin'  voice, 

"Who  be  you?" 

And  he  sez, 

"  I  am  Samuel  Danker." 

And  then  they  say  she  fainted  dead  away,  and  fell 
over  the  rockin'  chair,  he  not  bein'  near  enough  to 
ketch  her. 

And  he  brung  her  to  on  a  burnt  feather  that  fell 
out  of  the  chair  cushion  when  she  fell.  There  wuz  a 
small  hole  in  it,  so  they  say,  and  the  feather  oozed 
out. 

I  don't  tell  this  for  truth,  I  only  say  that  they  say 
thus  and  so. 

But  as  to  Samuel's  return,  that  I  can  swear  to, 
and  so  can  Josiah.  And  that  they  wuz  married  that 


•'  I  AM  SAMUEL  DANKER. 


366  SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 

very  night  of  his  return,  that  too  can  be  swore  to. 
A  old  minister  who  lived  next  door  to  Submit — 
superanuated,  but  life  enough  in  him  to  marry  'em 
safe  and  sound,  a-performin'  the  ceremony. 

It  made  a  great  stir  in  Jonesville,  almost  enormus. 

But  they  wuz  married  safe  enough,  and  happy  as 
two  gambolin'  lambs,  so  they  say.  Any  way  Sub 
mit'  looks  ten  years  younger  than  she  did,  and  I 
don't  know  but  more.  I  don't  know  but  she  looks 
eleven  or  twelve  years  younger,  and  Samuel,  why 
they  say  it  is  a  perfect  sight  to  see  how  happy  he 
looks,  and  how  he  has  renewed  his  age. 

The  hull  affair  wuz  very  pleasin'  to  the  Jonesvil- 
lians.  Why  there  wuzn't  more'n  one  or  two  villians 
but  what  wuz  fairly  delighted  by  it,  and  they  wuz 
spozed  to  be  envius. 

And  I  drew  severel  morals  from  it,  and.  drew  'em 
quite  a  good  ways  too,  over  both  religous  and  seck- 
uler  grounds. 

One  of  the  seckuler  ones  wuz  drawed  from  her 
not  settin'  the  table  for  him  that  night,  for  the  first 
time  for  twenty  years,  givin'  away  the  plate,  and  set- 
tin'  on  (with  tears)  only  a  stun  chiny  one  for  her 
self. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 


367 


How  true  it  is  that  if  a  female  woman  keeps  dress 
ed  up  slick,  piles  of  extra  good  cookin'  on   hand, 


.    "  THEY  DON'T  COME  !H 

and  her  house  oncommon  clean,  and  she  sets  down 
in  a  rockin'  chair,  lookin'  down  the  road  for  com 
pany. 


368       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

They  dorit  come  ! 

But  let  her  on  a  cold  mornin*  leave  her  dishes  on- 
washed,  and  her  floors  onswept,  and  put  on  her  hus 
band's  old  coat  over  her  meanest  dress,  and  go  out 
(at  his  urgent  request)  to  help  him  pick  up  apples 
before  the  frost  spiles  'em.  She  a-layin'  out  to  cook 
up  some  vittles  to  put  on  to  her  empty  shelves  when 
she  goes  into  the  house,  she  not  a-dreamin'  of  com 
pany  at  that  time  of  day. 

They  come  ! 

Another  moral  and  a  more  religeus  one.  When 
folks  set  alone  sheddin'  tears  on  their  empty  hands, 
that  seem  to  'em  to  be  emptied  of  all  hope  and  hap 
piness  forever.  Like  es  not  some  Divine  Compen 
sation  is  a-standin'  right  on  the  door  steps,  ready  to 
enter  in  and  dwell  with  'em. 

Also  that  when  Submit  Tewksbury  thought  she 
had  gin  away  for  conscience'  sake,  her  dearest  treas 
ure,  she  had  a  dearer  one  gin  to  her — Samuel  Dan 
ker  by  name. 

Also  I  drew  other  ones  of  various  sizes,  needless 
to  recapitulate,  for  time  is  hastenin',  and  I  have 
eppisoded  too  fur,  and  -to  resoom,  and  take  up 
agin  on  my  finger  the  thread  of  my  discourse,  that 


(f'    <"        U/, //f,iY,«5k">- 


"THEY  COME." 


3/O       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

I  dropped  in  the  Methodist  meetin'  house  at  Jones- 
ville,  in,  front  of  the  treasurer. 

Wall,  Submit  brought  the  plate. 

Sister  Nash  brought  twenty-three  cents  all  in 
pennys,  tied  up  in  the  corner  of  a  old  handkercif. 
She  is  dretful  poor,  but  she  had  picked  up  these 
here  and  there  doin'  little  jobs  for  folks. 

And  we  hadn't  hardly  the  heart  to  take  'em,  nor 
the  heart  to  refuse  takin'  'em,  she  wuz  so  set  on 
givin'  'em.  And  it  wuz  jest  so  with  Mahala  Crane, 
Joe  Cranes'es  widder. 

She,  too,  is  poor,  but  a  Christian,  if  there  ever  wuz 
one.  She  had  made  five  pair  of  overhawls  for  the 
clothin*  store  in  Loontown,  for  which  she  had  re 
ceived  the  princely  revenue  of  fifty  cents. 

She  handed  the  money  over  to  the  treasurer,  and 
we  wuz  all  on  us  extremely  worked  upon  and  wrought 
up  to  see  her  do  it,  for  she  did  it  with  such  a  cheerful 
air.  And  her  poor  old  calico  dress  she  had  on  wuz 
so  thin  and  wore  out,  and  her  dingy  alpaca  shawl 
wuz  thin  to  mendin',  and  all  darned  in  spots. 
We  all  felt  that  Mahala  had  ort  to  took  the  money 
to  get  her  a  new  dress. 

But  we   dasted  none  on  us  to  say  so  to  her.     I 


\   . 

"  SISTER  ARVILLY  LANFEAR,  CANVASSIN*  FOR  A  BOOK 


372       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

wouldn't  have  been  the  one  to  tell  her  that  for  a 
dollar  bill,  she  seemed  to  be  so  happy  a-givin'  her 
part  towerds  the  fair,  and  for  the  good  of  the  meet- 
in*  house  she  loved. 

Wall,  Sister  Meachim  had  earned  two  dollars 
above  her  wages — she  is  a  millinner  by  perswasion, 
and  works  at  a  millinner's  shop  in  Jonesville.  She 
had  earned  the  two  dollars  by  stayin'  and  workin' 
nights  after  the  day's  work  wuz  done. 

And  Sister  Arvilly  Lanfear  had  earned  three  dol 
lars  and  twenty-eight  cents  by  canvassin'  for  a  book. 
The  name  of  the  book  wuz : 
"The  Wild,  Wicked,  and  Warlike  Deeds  of  Man." 

And  Arvilly  said  she  had  took  solid  comfort  a- 
sellin'  it,  though  she  had  to  wade  through  snow  and 
slush  half  way  up  to  her  knees  some  of  the  time,  a- 
trailin'  round  from  house  to  house  a-takin'  orders 
fer  it.  She  said  she  loved  to  sell  a  book  that  wuz 
full  of  truth  from  the  front  page  to  the  back 
bindin'. 

As  for  me  I  wouldn't  gin  a  cent  for  the  book,  and 
I  remember  we  had  some  words  when  she  come  to 
our  house  with  it.  I  told  her  plain  that  I  wouldn't 
buy  no  book  that  belittled  my  companion,  or'  tried 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


373 


to— sez  I,  "  Arvilly,  men  are  jest  as  good  as  wimmen 
and  no  better,  not  a  mite  better." 

And  Arvilly  didn't  like  it,  but  I  made  it  up  to  her 


"OLD  Miss  BALCH." 

in  other  ways.  I  gin  her  some  lamb's  wool  yarn  for 
a  pair  of  stockin's  most  immegietly  afterwerds,  and 
a  half  bushel  of  but'nuts.  She  is  dretful  fond  of 
but'nuts. 


3/4       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

Wall,  Sister  Shelmadine  had  sold  ten  pounds  of 
maple  sugar,  and  brought  the  worth  on  it. 

And  Sister  Henzy  brung  four  dollars  and  a  half, 
her  husband  had  gin  her  for  another  purpose,  but 
she  took  it  for  this,  and  thought  there  wuzn't  no 
harm  in  it,  as  she  laid  out  to  go  without  the  four 
dollars  and  a  halt's  worth.  It  was  fine  shoes  he  had 
gin  the  money  for,  and  she  calculated  to  make  the 
old  ones  do. 

And  Sister  Henzy's  mother,  old  Miss  Balch,  she 
is  eighty-three  years  old,  and  has  inflamatery  rheu- 
matiz  in  her  hands,  which  makes  'em  all  swelled 
up  and  painful.  But  Sister  Henzy  said  her  mother 
had  knit  three  pairs  of  fringed  mittens  (the  hardest 
work  for  her  hands  she  could  have  laid  holt  of,  and 
which  must  have  hurt  her  fearful).  But  Miss 
Henzy  said  a  neighbor  had  offered  her  five  dollars 
fer  the  three  pairs,  and  so  she  felt  it  wuz  her  duty  to 
knit  'em,  to  help  the  fair  along.  She  is  a  very  strong 
Methodist,  and  loved  toforwerd  the  interests  of  Zion. 

She  wuz  goin'  to  give  every  cent  of  the  money  to 
the  meetin'  house,  so  Sister  Henzy  said,  all  but  ten 
cents,  that  she  had  to  have  to  get  Pond's  Extract 
with,  to  bathe  her  hands.  They  wuz  in  a  fearful  state. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

We  all  felt  bad  for  old  Miss  Balch,  and  I  don't 
believe  there  wuz  a  woman  there  but  what  gin  her 
some  different  receipt  fer  helpin'  her  hands,  besides 
sympathy,  lots  and  lots  of  it,  and  pity. 

Wall,  Sister  Sypher'ses  husband  is  clost,  very  clost 
with  her.  She  don't  have  anythin'  to  give,  only 
her  labor,  as  well  off  as  they  be.  And  now  he  wuz 
so  wrapped  up  in  that  buzz  saw  mill  business  that 
she  wouldn't  have  dasted  to  approach  him  any  way, 
that  is,  to  ask  him  for  a  cent. 

Wall,  what  should  that  good  little  creeter  do  but 
gin  all  the  money  she  had  earned  and  saved  durin' 
the  past  year  or  two,  and  had  laid  by  for  emergin- 
cies  or  bun  nets. 

She  had  got  over  two  dollars  and  seventy-five 
cents,  which  she  handed  right  over  to  the  treasurer 
of  the  fair  to  get  materials  for  fancy  work.  When 
they  wuz  got  she  proposed  to  knit  three  pairs  of 
men's  socks  out  of  zephyr  woosted,  and  she  said  she 
was  goin'  to  try  to  pick  enough  strawberrys  to  buy  a 
pair  of  the  socks  for  Deacon  Sypher.  She  said  it 
would  be  a  comfort  for  her  to  do  it,  for  they  would 
be  so  soft  for  the  Deacon's  feet. 

Wall,  Sister  Gowdy  wuz  the  last  one  to  gin  in 


376  SAMANTIIA   AMONG   THE    BRETHREN. 

dress  gin  to  her  by  her  uncle  out  to  the  Ohio.  It 
wuz  gin  her  to  mourn  for  her  mother-in-law  in. 

And  what  should  that  good,  willin'  creeter  do  but 
bring  that  dress  and  gin  it  to  the  fair  to  sell. 

We  hated  to  take  it,  we  hated  to  like  dogs,  for 
we  knew  Sister  Gowdy  needed  it. 

But  she  would  make  us  take  it ;  she  said  "  if  her 
Mother  Gowdy  wuz  alive,  she  would  say  to 
her, 

"  Sarah  Ann,  I'd  ruther  not  be  mourned  for  in 
bombazeen  than  to  have  the  dear  old  meetin'  house  in 
Jonesville  go  to  destruction.  Sell  the  dress  and 
mourn  fer  me  in  a  black  calico." 

That  Sister  Gowdy  said  would  be,  she  knew, 
what  Mother  Gowdy  would  say  to  her  if  she  wuz 
alive. 

And  we  couldn't  dispute  Sarah  Ann,for  we  all  knew 
that  old  Miss  Gowdy  worked  for  the  meetin'  house 
as  long  as  she  could  work  for  anything.  She  loved 
the  Methodist  meetin'  house  better  than  she  loved 
husband  or  children,  though  she  wuz  a  good  wife 
and  mother.  She  died  with  cramps,  and  her  last 
request  wuz  to  have  this  hymn  sung  to  her  fu 
neral  : 


I    LOVE   THY    KINGDOM,    LORD.' 


378  SAMANTHA  AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

"  Hove  thy  kingdom,  Lord, 

The  house  of  thine  abode, 
The  church  our  dear  Redeemer  bought 

With  His  most  precious  blood." 

The  quire  all  loved  Mother  Gowdy,  and  sung  it 
accordin'  to  her  wishes,  and  broke  down,  I  well  re 
member,  at  the  third  verse — 

"  For  her  my  tears  shall  fall, 

For  her  my  prayers  ascend, 
For  her  my  toil  and  life  be  given, 

Till  life  and  toil  shall  end." 

The  quire  broke  down,  and  the  minister  himself 
shed  tears  to  think  how  she  had  carried  out  her  be 
lief  all  her  life,  and  died  with  the  thought  of  the 
church  she  loved  on  her  heart  and  its  name  on  her 
lips. 

Wall,  the  dress  would  sell  at  the  least  calculation 
for  eight  dollars ;  the  storekeeper  had  offered  that, 
but  Sarah  Ann  hoped  it  would  bring  ten  to  the 
fair. 

It  wuz  a  cross  to  Sarah  Ann,  so  we  could  see, 
for  she  had  loved  Mother  Gowdy  dretful  well,  and 
loved  the  uncle  who  had  gin  it  to  her,  and  she 
hadn't  a  nice  black  dress  to  her  back. 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       379 

But  she  said  she  hadn't  lived  with  Mother  Govv- 
dy  twenty  years  for  nothin',  and  see  how  she  would 
always  sacrifice  anything  and  everything  but  princi 
ple  for  the  good  of  the  meetin'  house. 

Sister  Gowdy  is  a  good-hearted  woman,  and  we 
all  on  us  honored  her  for  this  act  of  hern,  though  we 
felt  it  wuz  almost  too  much  for  her  to  do  it. 

Wall,  Sister  Gowdy  wuz  the  last  one  to  gin  in 
her  testimony,  and  havin'  got  through  relatin'  our  ex 
periences  we  proceeded  to  business  and  paperin'. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 


ISTER  Sylvester  Bobbet  and  I 
had  been  voted  on  es  the  ones 
best  qualified  to  lead  off  in  the 
arjeous  and  hazerdous  enter- 
prize. 

And  though  we  deeply  felt 
the  honor  they  vvuz  a-heapin' 
on  to  us,  yet  es  it  hes  been,  time  and  agin,  in  other 
high  places  in  the  land,  if  it  hadn't  been  fer  duty 
that  wuz  a-grippin'  holt  of  us,  we  would  gladly 
have  shirked  out  of  it  and  gin  the  honor  to  some 
humble  but  worthy  constituent. 

Fer  the  lengths  of  paper  wuz  extremely  long,  the 
ceilin'  fearfully  high,  and  oh!  how  lofty  and  tottlin' 
the  barells  looked  to  us.  And  we  both  on  us,  Sis 
ter  Sylvester  Bobbet  and  I,  had  giddy  and  dizzy 
spells  right  on  the  ground,  let  alone  bein'  perched 
up  on^barells,  a-liftin'  our  arms  up  fur,  fur  beyond 
the  strength  of  their  sockets. 

But  duty  wuz   a-callin'  us,  and  the  other  wimmen 


"  WE  FELT   NERVED   UP  TO   DO  OUR  BEST. 


382       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

also,  and  it  wuzn't  for  me,  nor  Sister  Sylvester  Bob- 
bet  to  wave  her  nor  them  off,  or  shirk  out  of  haz- 
erdous  and  dangerous  jobs  when  the  good  of  the 
Methodist  Meetin'  House  wuz  at  the  Bay. 

No,  with  as  lofty  looks  as  I  ever  see  in  my  life 
(I  couldn't  see  my  own,  but  I  felt  'em),  and  with  as 
resolute  and  martyrous  feelin's  as  ever  animated  two 
wimmen's  breasts,  Sister  Sylvester  Bobbet  and  I 
grasped  holt  of  the  length  of  paper,  one  on  each  end 
on  it,  Sister  Arvilly  Lanfear  and  Miss  Henzy  a- 
holdin'  it  up  in  the  middle  like  Aaron  and  Hur 
a-holdin'  up  Moses'ses  arms.  We  advanced  and 
boldly  mounted  up  onto  our  two  barells,  Miss  Gow- 
dy  and  Sister  Sypher  a-holdin'  two  chairs  stiddy 
for  us  to  mount  up  on. 

Every  eye  in  the  meetin'  house  wuz  on  us.  We 
felt  nerved  up  to  do  our  best,  even  if  we  perished 
in  so  doin',  and  I  didn't  know  some  of  the  time  but 
we  would  fall  at  our  two  posts.  The  job  wuz  so 
much  more  wearin'  and  awful  than  we  had  foreboded, 
and  we  had  foreboded  about  it  day  and  night  for 
weeks  and  weeks,  every  one  on  us. 

The  extreme  hite  of  the  ceilin' ;  the  slipperyness 
and  fragility  of  the  lengths  of  paper ;  the  fearful 
hite  and  tottlin'ness  of  the  barells;  the  dizzeness 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN.       383 

that  swept  over  us  at  times,  in  spite  of  our  marble 
efforts  to  be  calm.  The  dretful  achin'  and  strainin' 
of  our  armpits,  that  bid  fair  to  loosen  'em  from  their 
four  sockets.  The  tremenjous  responsibility  that 
laid  onto  us  to  get  the  paper  on  smooth  and  on- 
wrinkled. 

It  wuz,  takin'  it  altogether,  the  most  fearful  and 
wearisome  hour  of  my  hull  life. 

Every  female  in  the  room  held  her  breath  in 
deathless  anxiety  (about  thirty  breaths).  And 
every  eye  in  the  room  wuz  on  us  (about  fifty-nine 
eyes — Miss  Shelmadine  hain't  got  but  one  workin' 
eye,  the  other  is  glass,  though  it  hain't  known,  and 
must  be  kep). 

Wall,  it  wuz  a-goin'  on  smooth  and  onwrinkled 
— smiles  broke  out  on  every  face,  about  thirty  smiles 
— a  half  a  minute  more  and  it  would  be  done,  and 
done  well.  When  at  that  tryin'  and  decisive  mo 
ment  when  the  fate  of  our  meetin'  house  wuz,  as  you 
may  say,  at  the  stake,  we  heard  the  sound  of  hur- 
ryin'  feet,  and  the  door  suddenly  opened,  and  in 
walked  Josiah  Allen,  Deacon  Sypher,  and  Deacon 
Henzy  followed  by  what  seemed  to  me  at  the  time 
to  be  the  hull  male  part  of  the  meetin'  house. 

But  we  found  out  afterwerds  that  there  wuz  a  few 


384       SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE  BRETHREN. 

men  in  the  meetin'  house  that  thought  wimmen  ort 
to  set ;  they  argued  that  when  wimmen  had  been 
standin'  so  long  they  out  to  set  down ;  they  wuz 
good  dispositioned.  But  as  I  sez  at  the  time,  it 
looked  to  us  as  if  every  male  Methodist  in  the  land 
wuz  there  and  present. 

They  wuz  in  great  spirits,  and  their  means  wuz  tri 
umphant  and  satisfied. 

'They  had  jest  got  the  last  news  from  the  Confer 
ence  in  New  York  village,  and  had  come  down  in  a 
body  to  disseminate  it  to  us. 

They  said  the  Methodist  Conference  had  decided 
that  the  seven  wimmen  that  had  been  stood  up  there 
in  New  York  for  the  last  week,  couldn't  set,  that 
they  wuz  too  weak  and  fraguile  to  set  on  the  Con 
ference. 

And  then  the  hull  crowd  of  men,  with  smiles  and 
haughty  linements,  beset  Josiah  to  read  it  out  to  us. 

So  Josiah  Allen,  with  his  face  nearly  wreathed 
with  a  smile,  a  blissful  smile,  but  as  high  headed  a 
one  as  I  ever  see,  read  it  all  out  to  us.  But  he 
should  have  to  hurry,  he  said,  for  he  had  got  to  carry 
the  great  and  triumphant  news  all  round,  up  as  fur 
as  Zoar,  if  he  had  time. 

And  so  he  read  it  out  to  us,  and  as  we  see  that 


*  THE  METHODIST  CONFERENCE  HAD  DECIDED  THAT  WIMMEN  wuz  TOO 

WEAK   TO   SET." 


386  SAMANTHA   AMONG   THE   BRETHREN. 

that  breadth  wuz  spilte,  we  stopped  our  work  for  a 
minute  and  heard  it. 

And  after  he  had  finished  it,  they  all  said  it  wuz 
a  masterly  dockument,  the  decision  wuz  a  noble  one, 
and  it  wuz  jest  what  they  had  always  said.  They 
said  they  had  always  known  that  wimmen  wuz  too 
weak,  her  frame  wuz  too  tender,  she  was  onfitted  by 
Nater,  in  mind  and  in  body  to  contend  with  such 
hardship.  And  they  all  agreed  that  it  would  be  put- 
tin'  the  men  in  a  bad  place,  and  takin'  a  good  deal 
offem  their  dignity,  if  the  fair  sex  had  been  allowed 
by  them  to  take  such  hardships  onto  'em.  And 
they  sez,  some  on  'em,  "  Why !  what  are  men  in  the 
Methodist  meetin'  house  for,  if  it  hain't  to  guard 
the  more  weaker  sect,  and  keep  cares  offen  'em  ?" 

And  one  or  two  on  'em  mentioned  the  words, 
"  cooin'  doves  "  and  "  sweet  tender  flowerets,"  as  is 
the  way  of  men  at  such  times.  But  they  wuz  in  too 
big  a  hurry  to  spread  themselves  (as  you  may  say)  in 
this  direction.  They  had  to  hurry  off  to  tell  the 
great  news  to  other  places  in  Jonesville  and  up  as  fer 
as  Loontown  and  Zoar. 

But  Sister  A rvilly  Lanfear,  who  happened  to  be 
a-standin'  in  the  door  as  they  went  off,  she  said  she 
heard  'em  out  as  fer  as  the  gate  a-congrati latin' 


SAMANTHA  AMONG  THE   BRETHREN. 


38; 


themselves  and  the  Methodist  Meetin'  House  and 
the  nation  on  the  decesion,  for,  sez  they, 

"  Them  angels  hain't  strong  enough  to  set,  and  I've 
known  it  all  the  time." 

And  Sister  Sylvester  Gowdy  sez  to  me,  a-rubbin* 
herachin'  armpits — 

"  If  they  are  as  beet  out  as  we  be  they'd  be  glad 
to  set  down  on  anything — a  Conference  or  any 
thing  else." 

And  I  sez,  a-wipin'  the  presperatin  of  hard  labor 
from  my  forwerd, 

<l  For  the  land's  sake!     Yes  !     I  should  think  so." 

And  then  with  giddy  heads  and  strainin'  armpits 
we  tackled  the  meetin'  house  agin. 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 


IN  view  of  the  frequent  reference,  in  this  work,  to  the 
discussion  in  and  preceding  the  General  Conference  of  the 
Methodist  Episcopal  Church  of  1888,  in  regard  to  the 
admission  of  women  delegates,  the  publishers  have  deemed 
it  desirable  to  append  the  six  following  addresses  delivered 
on  the  floor  of  the  Conference  during  the  progress  of  that 
discussion. 

The  General  Conference  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal 
Church  is  the  highest  legislative  body  of  that  denomina 
tion.  It  is  composed  of  delegates,  both  ministerial  and 
lay,  the  former  being  elected  by  the  Annual  Conferences, 
and  the  latter  by  Lay  Electoral  Conferences.  The  ses 
sions  of  the  General  Conference  are  held  quadrennially. 

Prior  to  the  session  held  in  May,  1888,  in  New  York  City, 
women  delegates  were  elected,  one  each,  by  the  four  follow 
ing  Lay  Electoral  Conferences — namely,  The  Kansas  Con 
ference,  The  Minnesota  Conference,  The  Pittsburgh  Con 
ference,  and  The  Rock  River  Conference.  Protest  was 
made  against  the  admission  of  these  delegates  on  the 
ground  that  the  admission  of  women  delegates  was  not  in 
accord  with  the  constitutional  provisions  of  the  Church, 
embodied  in  what  are  termed  the  Restrictive  Rules.  A 
special  Committee  on  the  Eligibility  of  Women  to  Member- 


390  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

ship  in  the  General  Conference  was  appointed,  consisting 
of  seventeen  members,  to  whom  the  protest  was  referred. 
On  May  3d  the  Committee  reported  adversely  to  the  ad 
mission  of  the  four  women  delegates,  the  report  alleging 
"  that  under  the  Constitution  and  laws  of  the  Church  as 
they  now  are,  women  are  not  eligible  as  lay  delegates  in 
the  General  Conference."  From  the  discussion  following 
this  report,  and  lasting  several  days,  the  following  six  ad 
dresses,  three  in  favor  of  and  three  against  the  admission 
of  the  women  delegates,  are  selected  and  presented,  with 
a  few  verbal  corrections,  as  published  in  the  official 
journal  of  the  Conference. 


ADDRESS  OF  REV.  DR.  THEODORE  L. 
FLOOD. 

I  AM  in  accord,  in  the  main,  with  Dr.  Potts  and  Dr.  Brush 
in  what  they  have  said  on  this  question,  unless  it  may  be 
where  my  friend  who  last  spoke  said  that  these  ladies,  these 
elected  delegates  to  this  body,  ought  to  be  admitted.  My 
judgment  and  my  conscience  before  the  Discipline  of  the 
Methodist  Episcopal  Church  and  the  Restrictive  Rules  is 
that  these  women  elected  by  these  Electoral  Conferences 
are  in  this  General  Conference. 

Their  names  may  not  have  been  called  when  the  roll 
was  called,  and  yet  it  was  distinctly  stated  by  the  Bishop 
presiding  that  morning  that  they  would  be  called,  and  the 
challenges  presented  with  their  names ;  and  afterward  de 
manded  it,  the  names  of  these  delegates  who  were  not 
enrolled  with  the  others  were  callecl,  and  the  protests 
were  read.  Their  names  have  been  called  as  members  of 
this  body,  and  they  are  simply  here  as  "  challenged" 
members.  From  that  standpoint  this  question  must  be 
discussed,  and  any  disposition  of  this  case  under  the  cir 
cumstances  must  be  in  this  direction.  These  women  del 
egates  must  be  put  out  of  this  General  Conference  if  they 
are  not  granted  the  rights  and  privileges  of  members  here. 
It  is  not  a  question  of  "  admitting"  them.  Before  this 
report,  before  the  bar  of  history,  we  stand,  and  will  be 
called  upon  to  vote  and  act,  and  millions  of  people  will 


392  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

hold  us  responsible,  and  I  dare  say  that  our  votes  will  be 
recorded  as  to  whether  they  shall  be  "  put  out"  or  "  stay 
in." 

Why,  sir,  the  government  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal 
Church  exists  for  the  ministry  and  membership  of  the 
Church.  The  ministry  and  the  membership  of  the 
Church  do  not  exist  for  the  government.  The  world  was 
made  for  man,  and  not  man  for  the  world.  That  is  the 
fundamental  idea  in  the  government  of  God,  as  He  treats 
us  as  human  beings.  That  is  the  fundamental  idea  in  the 
government  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church,  as  we 
are  enlisted  in  the  support  of  that  government  as  ministers 
and  members  of  the  Church.  Now  under  this  system  of 
ecclesiastical  government  a  time  came  in  our  history  when 
we  submitted  a  grave  question  to  the  membership  of  the 
Church.  It  was  not  a  question  simply  of  petition,  asking 
the  membership  to  send  petitions  up  to  the  General  Confer 
ence.  On  the  contrary,  it  was  submitting  a  constitutional 
question  not  simply  to  the  male  members  of  the  Church, 
for  that  grand  and  noble  man  of  the  Methodist  Church, 
Dr.  David  Sherma'n  of  the  New  England  Conference, 
moved  himself  to  strike  out  the  word  "  male"  from  the 
report  of  the  Committee  on  Lay  Delegation.  It  came  to 
a  vote,  and  it  was  stricken  out,  two  to  one  in  the  vote. 
When  that  was  done,  then  the  General  Conference  of  our 
Church  submitted  to  the  membership  of  the  Church  the 
question  of  lay  delegation.  But  back  of  the  question  of 
lay  delegation  was  as  grave  a  question,  and  that  was  grant 
ing*  the  right  of  suffrage  to  the  women  of  the  Church. 
The  General  Conference  assumed  the  responsibility  of 
giving  to  the  women  the  right  to  vote.  It  may  be  ques- 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  393 

tioned  this  way  ;  it  may  be  explained  that  way ;  but  the 
facts  abide  that  the  General  Conference  granted  to  the 
women  of  the  Church  the  right  to  vote  on  a  great  and 
important  question  in  ecclesiastical  law.  Now  if  you  run 
a  parallel  along  the  line  of  our  government — and  it  has 
often  been  said  that  there  are  parallels  in  the  government 
of  the  United  States  corresponding  to  lines  of  legislation 
and  legislative  action  in  the  government  of  the  Church — 
you  will  find  that  the  right  of  suffrage  in  the  country  at 
the  ballot-box  has  been  a  gradual  growth.  One  of  the 
most  sacred  rights  that  a  man,  an  American  citizen,  enjoys 
is  the  right  to  cast  a  ballot  for  the  man  or  men  he  would 
have  legislate  for  him  ;  and  for  no  trivial  reason  can  that 
right,  when  once  granted  to  the  American  citizen,  be  taken 
away  from  him.  Go  to  the  State  of  Massachusetts,  and 
trace  the  history  of  citizen  suffrage,  and  you  find  it  com 
menced  in  this  way :  First,  a  man  could  vote  under  the 
government  there  who  was  a  member  of  the  Church. 
Next,  he  could  vote  if  he  were  a  freeholder.  A  little 
later  on  he  could  vote  if  he  paid  a  poll-tax.  In  the  gov 
ernment,  and  under  the  legislation  of  our  Church,  first 
the  women  were  granted  the  right  to  vote  on  the  prin 
ciple  of  lay  delegation,  not  on  the  "  plan"  of  lay  delega 
tion,  but  on  the  "  principle"  of  lay  delegation.  That 
was  decided  by  Bishop  Simpson  in  the  New  Hampshire 
Conference,  and  by  Bishop  Janes  afterward  in  one  of  the 
New  York  Conferences.  On  the  principle  of  lay  dele 
gation,  the  women  of  the  Church  were  granted  the  right 
of  suffrage  ;  presently  they  appeared  in  the  Quarterly  Con 
ference,  to  vote  as  class-leaders,  stewards,  and  Sunday- 
school  superintendents  ;  and  it  created  a  little  excitement, 


394  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

a  feverish  state  of  feeling  in  the  Church,  and  the  General 
Conference  simply  passed  a  resolution  or  a  rule  interpret 
ing  that  action  on  the  part  of  women  claiming  this  priv 
ilege  in  the  Quarterly  Conference  as  being  a  "  right,"  and 
it  was  continued.  Presently,  as  the  right  of  suffrage  of 
women  passed  on  and  grew,  they  voted  in  the  Electoral 
Conferences,  and  there  was  no  outcry  made  against  it.  I 
have  yet  to  hear  of  any  Bishop  in  the  Church,  or  any  pre 
siding  elder,  or  any  minister  challenging  the  right  of 
women  to  vote  in  Electoral  Conferences  or  Quarterly 
Conferences;  and  yet  for  sixteen  years  they  have  been 
voting  in  these  bodies ;  voting  to  send  laymen  here  to 
legislate  ;  to  send  laymen  to  the  General  Conference  to 
elect  Bishops  and  Editors  and  Book  Agents  and  Secre 
taries.  They  come  to  where  votes  count  in  making  up 
this  body ;  they  have  been  voting  sixteen  years,  and  only 
now,  when  the  logical  result  of  the  right  of  suffrage  that 
the  General  Conference  gave  to  women  appears  and  con 
fronts  us  by  women  coming  here  to  vote  as  delegates,  do 
we  rise  up  and  protest.  I  believe  that  it  is  at  the  wrong 
time  that  the  protest  comes.  It  should  have  come  when 
the  right  to  vote  was  granted  to  women  in  the  Church. 
It  is  sixteen  years  too  late,  and  as  was  very  wisely  said  by 
Dr.  Potts,  the  objection  comes  not  so  much  from  the  Con 
stitution  of  the  Church  as  from  the  "  constitution  of  the 
men,"  who  challenge  these  women. 

Now,  sir,  another  parallel.  You  take  the  United  States 
Government  just  after  the  war,  when  the  colored  people 
of  the  South,  the  freedmen  of  our  land,  unable  to  take  care 
of  themselves,  their  friends,  that  had  fought  the  battles  of 
the  war,  in  Congress  determined  that  they  should  be  pro- 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  395 

tected,  if  no  longer  by  bayonets  and  cannon,  that  they 
should  be  protected  by  placing  the  ballot  in  their  hands, 
and  the  ballot  was  placed  in  the  hands  of  the  freedman  of 
the  South  by  the  action  of  the  National  Congress,  Con 
gress  submitting  a  constitutional  amendment  to  the  legis 
latures  of  the  States ;  and  when  enough  of  them  had  voted 
in  favor  of  it,  and  the  President  had  signed  the  bill,  it  be 
came  an  amendment  to  the  Constitution  of  the  United 
States,  granting  to  the  people  of  the  South,  who  had  been 
disfranchised,  the  right  of  suffrage. 

Now,  what  does  the  right  of  suffrage  do  ?  It  carries  with 
it  the  right  to  hold  office.  Where  women  have  the  priv 
ileges  of  voting  on  the  school  question,  they  are  granted 
the  privilege  of  being  school  directors,  holding  the  office 
of  superintendents,  and  the  restriction  on  them  stops  at 
that  point  under  statute  law.  If  you  go  a  little  further 
you  will  find  that  when  the  freedmen  were  enfranchised, 
and  they  sent  men  of  their  own  color  to  the  House  of 
Representatives,  did  that  body  say  "  stop  !"  "  we  protest, 
you  cannot  come  in  because  of  illegality"?  No.  They 
were  admitted  on  the  face  of  their  credentials  because  they 
had  first  been  granted  the  right  of  suffrage.  When  men 
of  their  color  went  to  the  United  States  Senate  and  sub 
mitted  their  credentials,  they  were  not  protested  against, 
but  they  were  admitted  as  members  of  the  United  States 
Senate  on  the  face  of  their  credentials.  And  why?  Be 
cause  the  right  of  suffrage  granted  to  the  freedmen  of  the 
South  under  a  constitutional  amendment  of  the  nation, 
carried  with  it  the  right  of  the  men  whom  we  fought  to 
free,  and  did  free,  in  an  awful  war,  to  hold  office  in  the 
nation.  Now,  sir,  you  must  interpret  the  law  somewhat 


396  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

by  the  spirit  of  the  times  in  which  you  live.  That  is  a 
mistaken  notion  to  say  that  you  must  always  go  to  the 
men  that  made  the  law  to  get  the  interpretation  of  it.  If 
that  were  true,  would  it  not  always  be  wise  for  legislators 
to  give  their  affidavits  and  place  on  file  their  interpreta 
tion  of  the  law  they  had  confirmed,  and  placed  on  the 
statute  books  ?  There  are  legal  gentlemen  in  this  body 
who  will  tell  you  that  it  goes  for  very  little  when  you  come 
to  interpret  law.  And  yet  you  will  find  this  to  be  true,  that 
a  law  must  be  interpreted  somewhat  by  the  spirit  of  the 
time  in  which  you  live.  Why,  twenty  years  ago,  when  the 
General  Conference  handed  the  question  of  lay  delegation 
down  to  the  Annual  Conferences,  and  the  members  of  our 
Church,  there  was  not  a  woman  practising  law  in  the  Su 
preme  Court  of  the  United  States.  Go  back  through  the 
history  of  jurisprudence  of  this  country  and  in  England, 
and  you  will  find  that  it  had  never  been  known  that  a 
woman  practised  law  in  the  Supreme  Court  of  this  country 
or  England.  But  to-day  women  have  been  admitted  to 
practise  law  in  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States. 
No  amendment  to  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States 
had  to  be  adopted  in  order  to  secure  this  privilege  for  them. 
But  this  is  true,  that  the  judges  of  the  Supreme  Court, 
by  a  more  liberal  interpretation  of  the  Constitution  of  the 
United  States,  said,"  Women  may  be  officers  of  the  Supreme 
Court,  and  may  practise  law  there."  The  same  kind  of  a 
spirit,  in  interpreting  the  Discipline  and  the  Restrictive 
Rules  of  the  Discipline  of  the  Church,  will  place  these 
women  delegates  in  this  body  where  they  have  been  sent. 
The  same  thing  is  true  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  Pennsyl 
vania  and  in  the  Courts  of  Philadelphia.  There  is  no  way 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  397 

out,  as  my  judgment  sees,  and  as  my  conscience  tells  me, 
since  before  the  government  of  God  man  and  woman  are 
equally  responsible.  There  is  no  way  out  of  this  dilemma 
for  this  General  Conference,  but  to  say  that  these  women 
delegates  shall  sit  in  this  body,  where  they  have  been  sent, 
and  where  their  names  have  been  called. 

Why,  take  the  missionary  operations.  The  Woman's 
Missionary  Society  is  to-day  raising  more  money  and  do 
ing  more  missionary  work  than  the  Parent  Missionary 
Society  did  fifty  years  ago.  And  yet  men  legislate  con 
cerning  the  missionary  operations  of  women,  and  give  them 
no  voice  directly  in  this  body. 

We  bring  up  the  temperance  question  here  against 
license  and  in  favor  of  Prohibition,  and  we  pass  our  reso 
lutions  after  we  have  given  our  discussions,  and  yet  the 
Methodist  Church  has  the  honor  of  having  in  the  ranks 
of  her  membership —  (Time  called.) 


ADDRESS  OF  REV.  DR.  JAMES  M.  BUCKLEY. 

MR.  PRESIDENT,  while  the  last  speaker  was  on  the  floor, 
a  modification  of  a  passage  of  Scripture  occurred  to  me, 
"  The  enemy  cometh  in  like  a  flood,  but  I  will  lift  up  a 
standard  against  him."  It  is  somewhat  peculiar  that  he 
should  begin  by  making  a  statement  about  one  of  the 
most  honored  names  in  American  Methodism,  a  statement 
that  has  been  published  in  the  papers,  and  that  nine  tenths 
of  this  body  knew  as  well  as  he  did.  It  must  have  been 
intended  as  a  part  of  his  argument,  and  I  regard  it  as 
of  as  much  force  as  anything  he  said  after  it.  But  in 
point  of  fact  the  question  does  not  turn  upon  the  per 
son,  but  upon  the  principle.  I  have  received  an  anony 
mous  letter  containing  the  following  among  other  things, 
"  Beware  how  you  attack  the  holy  cause  of  woman.  Do 
you  not  know  that  obstacles  to  progress  are  rem-o-o-v-e-d 
out  of  the  way?"  The  signature  of  that  letter  is  ingen 
ious.  I  cannot  tell  whether  it  was  a  man  or  a  woman,  for 
it  reads  as  follows,  "A  Lover  of  your  Soul  and  of  Wom 
an."  Now,  Mr.  President,  the  only  candlestick  that 
ought  to  be  removed  out  of  its  place  is  the  candlestick 
that  contains  a  candle  that  does  not  burn  the  pure  oil  of 
truth.  And  I  believe,  sir,  that  with  the  best  of  intentions 
the  three  speakers  who  have  appeared  have  given  us 
three  chapters  in  different  styles  of  a  work  of  fiction, 
and  it  is  my  duty  to  undertake  to  show  where  they 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  399 

have  slipped.  The  Apocrypha  says,  "  An  eloquent  man 
is  known  far  and  near;  but  a  man  of  understanding 
discerneth  where  he  slippeth."  I  have  no  claim  to  elo 
quence  ;  never  pretended  to  have  any ;  but  I  have  a 
claim  to  some  knowledge  of  Methodist  history,  to  some 
ability  to  state  my  sentiments,  and  to  be  without  any 
fear  of  the  results,  either  present  or  prospective. 

Now,  Mr.  President,  you  notice  from  my  friends  that 
if  they  cannot  command  the  judgment  of  the  Conference 
they  propose  to  say  the  women  are  in,  and  defy  us  to 
put  them  out.  I  am  sorry  that  my  friend  did  not  take 
in  the  full  significance  of  that.  And  they  say  that  every 
body  who  has  a  certificate  in  form  is  in  until  he  is  put 
out.  Why,  they  do  not  discriminate  between  ordinary 
contested  cases  and  a  case  where  the  constitutional  point 
is  involved.  If  these  women  have  a  right  here,  they  have 
had  it  from  the  beginning  by  the  Constitution.  It  is 
not  a  contested  case  as  to  whether  John  Smith  was  voted 
for  by  the  people  who  ought  to  vote  for  him,  or  in  the 
right  place.  Now,  they  talk  of  bringing  up  documents 
here.  I  wrote  to  the  Hon.  George  F.  Edmunds,  the 
most  distinguished  member  of  the  United  States  Senate, 
and  simply  put  this  question,  If  a  certificate  of  election 
in  the  Senate  shows  anything  that  would  prove  the  per 
son  unworthy  of  a  seat,  would  he  be  seated  pending  an 
investigation  or  not  ?  He  did  not  know  what  it  referred 
to,  and  I  read  it  verbatim.  I  never  mentioned  the  name 
of  Methodist,  and  I  read  verbatim  from  his  letter : 

"  No  officer  of  the  Senate  has  any  right  to  decide  any  such  question, 
and,  therefore,  every  person  admitted  to  a  seat  is  admitted  by,  in  fact,  a 
vote  of  the  Senate.  The  ordinary  course  in  the  Senate  is,  when  the  ere- 


400  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

dentials  appear  to  be  perfectly  regular,  and  there  is  no  notorious  and  un 
disputed  fact  or  circumstance  against  the  qualifications  and  election  of  a 
senator,  to  admit  him  at  once  and  settle  the  question  of  his  right  after 
ward.  But  there  have  been  cases  in  which  the  Senate  declined  to  admit 
a  claimant  holding  a  regular  certificate  upon  the  ground  that  enough  was 
known  to  the  Senate  to  justify  its  declining  to  receive  him  until  an  in 
quiry  should  be  had.  Very  truly  yours, 

"  GEORGE  F.  EDMUNDS." 

Now,  Mr.  President,  all  this  twaddle  about  the  women 
being  in  is  based  upon  the  pretence  that  one  woman  is 
there  now.  The  certificate  shows  that  they  were  women, 
though  as  yet  no  action  has  been  taken  in  regard  to  them 
at  all.  If  they  were  in,  they  were  in  with  a  constitution 
al  challenge.  I  champion  the  holy  cause  of  women.  I 
stand  here  to  champion  their  cause  against  their  being  in 
troduced  into  this  body  without  their  own  sex  having  had 
the  opportunity  of  expressing  their  opinion  upon  the  sub 
ject.  I  stand  here  to  protect  them  against  being  connect 
ed  with  movements  without  law  or  contrary  to  law,  and 
those  who  wish  to  bring  them  in  and  those  who  say 
it  is  the  constitution  of  the  man  and  prejudice  (my  friend, 
Dr.  Potts,  said  prejudice),  they  are  persons,  indeed,  to 
stand  up  here  as  par  excellence  the  champions  of  women! 
Is  it  the  constitution  of  the  men  ?  Have  you  read  the 
letter  of  Mrs.  Caroline  Wright  in  the  Christian  Advocate, 
one  of  our  most  distinguished  American  Methodist  wom 
en?  She  does  not  wish  to  see  them  here.  It  is  the 
constitution  of  the  woman  in  that  case,  and  I  am  opposed 
to  their  being  admitted  until  the  general  sentiment  of  the 
women  and  the  men  of  our  Church  have  an  opportunity 
of  being  heard  upon  it. 

Now,  Mr.  President,  note  these  facts.  .  .  .  This  is  not 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  401 

• 
a  fact,  but  my  opinion.     I  solemnly  believe  that  there  was 

never  an  hour  in  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church  when  it 
was  in  so  great  danger  as  it  is  to-day,  not  on  account  of 
the  admission  of  these  women,  two  of  whom  I  believe  to 
be  as  competent  to  sit  in  judgment  on  this  question  as 
any  man  on  this  floor.  That  is  not  the  question,  as  I  pro 
pose  to  show.  I  assert  freely,  here  and  now,  if  the  women 
are  in  under  the  Restrictive  Rules,  no  power  ought  to 
put  them  out.  If  they  are  not  in  under  the  Restrictive 
Rules,  nothing  has  been  done  since,  in  my  judgment, 
bearing  upon  it.  I  am  astounded  that  these  brethren 
fancy  that  this  question  has  no  bearing  at  all  on  the  mean 
ing  of  that  rule.  That  is  a  wonderful  thing.  But  we 
affirm  that  when  the  Church  voted  to  introduce  lay  dele 
gation,  it  not  only  did  not  intend  to  introduce  women, 
but  it  did  intend  to  fill  up  the  whole  body  with  men. 
That  is  what  we  affirm.  If  we  can  prove  it,  it  is  a  tower 
of  help  to  us.  If  we  cannot  prove  it,  we  cannot  make 
out  our  case.  But  our  contention  is,  that  the  Church  did 
not  undertake  to  put  women  in,  and  it  did  undertake  to 
fill  up  the  capacities  and  relations  of  the  body  with  men. 
Now,  look  at  it.  No  man  goes  to  the  dictionary  to  find 
the  meaning  of  the  word  "  layman."  There  is  not  a  man 
that  can  find  out  the  meaning  of  our  Restrictive  Rules 
from  the  dictionary.  No  living  man  can  make  out  the 
meaning  of  a  word  in  the  Restrictive  Rules  from  Web 
ster's  dictionary.  You  must  get  it  from  the  history  of  the 
Church.  Who  is  the  "  General  Superintendent"  by  Web 
ster  or  Worcester  ?  The  Methodist  Episcopacy  is  the 
thing  that  is  protected  by  the  Restrictive  Rules.  The 
dictionary  does  not  tell  how  the  Chartered  Fund  shall  be 


4O2 

taken  care  of.  Now  they  talk  about  laymen.  They  do 
not  seem,  I  think,  to  understand  the  history  of  the  thing. 
Some  of  them  do  not  appear  to  understand  the  history  of 
the  English  language.  Why  was  the  word  "  layman"  evei 
introduced  ?  Because  there  was  a  separate  class  of  clergy 
men  in  the  world,  but  there  was  not  a  class  of  clergywom- 
en  in  the  world.  If  there  had  been,  there  would  have  been 
a  term  for  laywomen  and  for  clergywomen.  And  the 
word  was  invented  to  distinguish  the  laymen  from  the 
c/ergymen.  Had  there  been  clergywomen,  there  would 
have  been  laywomen.  The  u  laity"  means  all  the  people, 
men,  women,  and  children.  A  woman  is  one  of  the  laity, 
and  so  is  every  child  in  the  country  or  in  the  Church  one 
of  the  laity.  But  when  you  speak  of  man  acting  as  a 
unit  he  is  a  layman,  but  you  never  say  a  laywoman.  You 
say :  a  woman.  Abraham  Lincoln  said,  "  All  these 
things  are  done  and  suffered,  that  government  of  the  peo 
ple,  for  the  people,  and  by  the  people  should  not  perish 
from  the  earth."  Now,  people,  the  dictionary  says,  are 
men,  women,  and  children.  Did  Abraham  Lincoln  mean 
that  any  women  or  children  can  take  any  part  in  the 
government  of  the  nation  ?  No,  no,  no  !  He  meant  this. 
When  he  stood  up  and  delivered  his  inaugural  speech, 
he  said  this,  "  The  intent  of  the  lawmaker  is  the  law." 

I  give  them  something  from  one  of  the  greatest  lawyers 
that  ever  lived  to  think  of  awhile — John  Selden  :  "  The 
only  honest  meaning  of  any  word  is  the  intent  of  the 
man  that  wrote  it."  At  the  time  that  the  plan  of  lay 
delegation  was  adopted,  there  was  not  a  single  Conference 
of  the  Church  on  this  wide  globe,  not  one  that  distin 
guished  between  the  ministry  and  the  laity  that  allowed 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.        403 

women  to  take  any  part  in  its  law-making  body.  Some 
one  will  talk  about  the  Quakers.  But  they  deny  the  ex 
istence  of  the  Church,  the  sacraments  of  the  Church,  and 
make  no  distinction  between  the  ministry  and  the  laity. 
Let  them  get  up  and  show  that  there  was  ever  one  Church 
in  the  world  worthy  of  the  name  that  allowed  women  to 
make  its  laws.  There  is  not  one  to-day.  Let  them  name 
a  Church,  let  them  name  one  that  has  allowed  women  in 
its  law-making  body ;  and  yet  such  is  the  blinding  power 
of  gush  that  men  will  say  that  our  fathers  all  understood 
it  and  proposed  to  put  women  in.  The  fact  is,  that  they 
only  proposed  to  allow  them  to  put  us  in.  As  soon  as 
the  General  Conference  adjourned  the  women  made  an 
appeal  in  a  public  statement.  They  were  asked  to  vote 
for  lay  delegation,  and  were  told  that  then  they  could  set 
the  Church  right.  The  opponents  appealed  to  them  to 
vote  against  it  on  the  ground  that  it  would  not  make  any 
difference  to  them.  James  Porter,  Daniel  Curry,  Dr. 
Hodgson  (Professor  Little  thinks  he  was  the  greatest  of 
them  all)  wrote  a  series  of  articles  in  the  Advocate,  and  it 
never  occurred  to  them  that  the  women  could  come  into 
the  General  Conference.  Lay  delegation  was  only  ad 
mitted  by  33  votes.  Had  there  been  a  change  of  33  votes 
they  would  not  have  come  in.  Every  member  of  the 
New  York  East  Conference  knows  that  Dr.  Curry's  in 
fluence  was  so  powerful  that  he  could  almost  get  a  major 
ity  against  it.  And  they  know  if  any  one  had  set  up  an 
opposition  to  it  on  this  ground,  the  whole  Conference 
would  have  voted  against  the  movement,  and  that  if  it 
had  not  been  for  Bishop  Ames  and  Bishop  Janes,  who 
went  to  the  Wyoming  Conference  where  the  majority 


404  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

was  opposed  to  lay  delegation,  and  by  their  influence 
there  converted  my  friend  Olin  and  others,  he  knows 
that  if  this  matter  of  the  women  had  been  in  or  under 
stood,  the  whole  Conference  would  have  been  against  it. 
It  would  not  have  been  possible.  Dr.  Potts  says  that  it 
is  prejudice.  Nothing  of  the  kind.  Do  you  know  there 
are  12,000  Methodist  ministers  that  are  ciphers  all  the 
time  except  when  they  vote  for  delegates?  Are  you  go 
ing  to  presume  that  when  the  Church  has  a  multitude  of 
members,  that  it  is  going  to  sit  here  and  change,  by  an 
interpretation,  a  Restrictive  Rule,  or  put  in  what  was  never 
in,  and  never  understood  to  be  in  ?  The  Restrictive  Rule 
fills  up  the  ministerial  delegates.  Every  time  you  put  a 
woman  in,  you  put  a  man  out.  This  subject  has  never 
come  up  here  before.  The  question  is  this,  Do  those 
Restrictive  Rules  mean  anything  ?  If  they  do,  you  can 
not  put  in  anything  that  the  fathers  did  not  put  in.  And 
if  you  put  in  women  as  lawmakers ;  if  you  can  read  those 
Rules  and  put  them  in  there,  you  can  change  any  one  of 
the  Restrictive  Rules  by  a  majority  of  one.  And  I  want 
to  say  to  you,  that  if  you  do  it,  you  will  prove  to  the 
Methodist  Episcopal  Church  that  the  sole  protection  we 
have  against  the  caprice  of  a  majority  of  the  General  Con 
ference  is  not  worth  the  paper  it  is  written  on.  All  you 
have  to  do  is  to  get  a  majority  of  the  Conference  against 
the  Episcopacy,  and  then  put  any  interpretation,  and 
then  you  get  a  few  women  admitted,  and  this  you  call  the 
progress  of  the  age.  Mr.  Chairman,  I  believe  in  progress, 
and  when  the  Church  progresses  far  enough,  it  can  change 
this  law  in  a  constitutional  way.  But  it  has  not  yet  gone 
far  enough.  These  men  believe  that  the  Church  has 


PUBLISHERS    APPENDIX.  405 

never  done  it,  or  that  it  is  best.  Dr.  Flood  said  that  they 
must  be  brought  in  in  the  light  of  progress.  I  affirm  that 
Dr.  Flood's  arguments  all  point  in  that  direction — they 
must  be  interpreted  in  the  light  of  progress.  When  you 
do  that  you  have  got  a  despotism.  I  want  to  go  back  to 
my  constituents  and  say  this  :  I  exercise  all  the  power 
that  our  Charter  gives  me.  But  at  the  moment  that  any 
thing  is  proposed,  and  we  put  in  what  the  fathers  did  not 
have  before  their  eyes,  at  that  moment  I  stop  and  say, 
Thus  far,  but  no  farther.  A  despotism  is  a  despotism, 
whether  it  is  a  despotism  without  restraint,  the  Czar 
with  his  wife,  the  Czar  without  his  wife.  You  will  turn 
this  house  into  a  despotism,  and  you  will  find  it  difficult 
to  defend  Methodism  by  its  peculiar  Constitution  before 
the  American  people. 

If  you  want  women  in,  there  is  another  way  to  bring 
them  In.  Send  the  question  around  as  you  did  for  lay 
delegation.  There  was  only  a  doubt  in  the  General  Con 
ference  of  1868,  and  yet  they  had  a  sense  of  candor. 
John  M'Clintock  fought  in  favor  of  taking  them  in.  But 
he  said,  "  I  think  it  best  to  send  the  question  around." 
True  progress  is  not  gained  in  any  other  way.  Some 
prefer  a  shorter  cut.  Let  me  say  to  you,  "  He  that  com- 
eth  in  by  the  door,"  the  same  hath  a  right  to  come  in ; 
but  he  that  cometh  in  another  way,  is  not  as  respectable 
as  in  the  other  case. 


ADDRESS  OF  REV.  DR.  A.  B.  LEONARD. 

MR.  CHAIRMAN,  unfortunately  forme,  I  have  received  no 
anonymous  letters.  And  so  I  have  nothing  either  sensa 
tional  or  startling  with  which  to  introduce  my  speech.  I 
shall  not  speak  this  morning  under  any  fear  of  being  re 
moved  as  an  obstruction,  or  of  having  my  future  prospects 
blasted.  It  is  my  privilege,  therefore,  to  speak  to  you 
this  morning  upon  this  subject  calmly  and  dispassionately, 
having  no  motive  to  either  suppress  or  exaggerate  the 
truth.  The  party  who  wrote  Dr.  Buckley,  threatening  to 
remove  him  as  an  obstruction,  must  be  highly  gratified  to 
know  that  that  obstruction  has  already  been  removed. 
Brother  Hughey  removed  the  obstruction,  extinguished 
the  candle,  and  destroyed  the  candlestick. 

We  are  to  approach  this  question  this  morning,  to  dis 
cuss  it  purely  upon  its  merits.  The  ground  of  constitu 
tional  law  was  traversed  thoroughly  yesterday  morning  in 
the  opening  speech  by  Dr.  Potts,  a  speech  that,  though 
he  did  not  hear  it  himself,  was  heard  by  this  body,  and 
will  be  heard  through  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  Church 
everywhere.  It  remains  for  us  who  follow  him  simply  to 
turn  on  a  few  side-lights  here  and  there,  or  to  give  an  op 
portunity  of  viewing  this  question  from  a  new  point  of 
view.  And,  first,  there  is  a  line  of  argument  that  may  be 
helpful  to  some  that  has  already  been  presented  in  part 
touching  the  administration  of  our  law  and  the  interpreta- 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  407 

tion  of  terms  that  is  worthy,  I  think,  of  still  further  con 
sideration. 

Dr.  Buckley  said  in  the  New  York  Christian  Advocate 
of  March  i$th,  1888: 

"  The  question  of  eligibility  turns,  first,  upon  whether  the  persons  claim 
ing  seats  are  laymen  ;  secondly,  whether  they  have  been  members  of  the 
Church  for  five  years  consecutively,  and  are  at  least  twenty-five  years 
of  age  ;  and,  thirdly,  upon  whether  they  have  been  duly  elected.  If 
women  are  found  to  be  eligible  under  the  law,  they  would  stand  upon  the 
same  plane  with  men,  in  this  particular,  that  they  must  be  twenty-five 
years,  etc." 

Now,  then,  is  a  woman  legally  qualified  to  sit  in  the 
General  Conference  as  a  lay  delegate?  Is  she  a  layman 
in  the  sense  of  that  word  in  the  Discipline?  If  she  be 
not  in,  she  cannot  be  introduced  contrary  to  law  by  a  mere 
majority  vote  of  the  General  Conference.  The  Doctor 
sometimes  writes  more  clearly  than  he  speaks,  and  it  was 
so  in  the  occasion  of  writing  this  article.  Over  against 
this  we  have  one  of  (as  Dr.  Hamilton  would  say)  the 
"  subtle  insinuations"  of  the  Episcopal  Address,  which  de 
clares  that  no  definition  of  "  layman"  settles  the  question 
of  eligibility  as  to  any  class  of  persons.  For  many  are 
classed  as  laymen  for  the  purposes  of  lay  representation, 
and  have  to  do  with  it  officially  as  laymen,  yet  themselves 
are  ineligible  as  delegates.  Well,  in  this  case,  we  have  the 
Episcopal  Board  over  against  the  editor.  Both  are  right 
and  both  are  wrong.  The  editor  is  right  when  he  said  of 
a  woman,  if  she  be  a  lay  member  her  right  is  clear  as  that 
of  any  duly  elected  man.  But  he  is  wrong  when  he  denies 
to  her  a  right  to  a  seat  in  this  body  as  a  layman.  The 
Episcopal  Address  is  wrong  when  it  says  that  "  no  defini- 


408  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

tion  of  the  word  '  layman '  settles  the  question  of  eligibil 
ity."  But  it  is  right  when  it  says,  "  Many  are  classed  as 
laymen  for  purposes  of  lay  representation,  and  have  to  do 
with  it  officially  as  lay  members  who  are  not  themselves 
eligible  as  delegates." 

In  the  practical  work  of  the  Church,  and  in  the  admin 
istration  of  its  laws,  women  have  been  regarded  as  laymen 
from  the  beginning  until  now.  They  pay  quarterage.  If 
they  did  not  pay  quarterage  some  of  our  salaries  would  be 
very  short.  They  contribute  to  our  benevolent  collections, 
and  if  it  were  not  for  their  contributions,  we  would  not 
to-day  be  shouting  over  the  "  Million  dollars  for  Missions." 
They  pray  and  testify  in  our  class-meetings  and  prayer- 
meetings,  and  but  for  their  presence  among  us,  many  of 
those  meetings  would  be  as  silent  as  the  grave.  They  are 
amenable  to  law,  and  must  be  tried  by  the  very  same  proc 
ess  by  which  men  are  tried.  They  are  subject  to  the 
same  penalty.  They  may  be  suspended ;  they  may  be 
expelled.  In  all  these  respects  they  have  been  regarded 
as  laymen  from  the  beginning.  Indeed,  we  have  never 
recognized  more  than  two  orders  In  our  Church.  We  have 
laymen  and  ministers.  Up  to  1872  but  one  of  these  orders 
was  represented  in  this  General  Conference.  This  Gen 
eral  Conference  was  strictly  a  clerical  organization.  But 
in  1872  we  marked  a  new  epoch  in  Methodist  history,  and 
a  new  element  came  into  this  body,  and  has  been  in  all 
our  sessions  since  that  date.  The  first  step,  as  has  been 
mentioned  here  before,  was  taken  in  1868,  when  the  ques 
tion  of  lay  delegation  was  sent  down  to  the  members  of 
the  Church  over  twenty-one  years  of  age,  and  to  the  An 
nual  Conferences.  Dr.  Queal,  if  I  understood  him,  made 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  409 

what  is,  in  my  judgment,  a  fatal  concession  on  this  ques 
tion.  He  distinctly  stated,  if  I  understood  him  correctly, 
and  I  have  not  had  time  to  refer  to  the  report  of  his  speech 
(if  I  misinterpret  him  he  will  correct  me),  that  when  the 
motion  to  strike  out  the  word  "  male"  was  made,  it  was 
done  for  the  purpose  of  putting  a  "  rider"  on  the  motion 
and  cause  its  defeat,  and  when  that  fact  was  made  known 
to  those  in  favor  of  lay  delegation,  they  said  they  would 
accept  it  then  with  that  interpretation,  and  the  interpreta 
tion  was  that  the  amendment  would  let  women  into  the 
General  Conference. 

Now,  that  being  true,  all  this  talk  about  the  idea  of  the 
"  women  coming  in"  being  never  entertained  until  very 
recently  falls  to  the  ground.  It  was  present  on  that  occa 
sion.  It  was  understood  by  those  that  opposed  lay  dele 
gation,  and  that  favored  it,  that  if  they  passed  this  amend 
ment  and  the  laymen  were  allowed  to  come  in,  it  would 
open  the  door  to  allow  women  to  come  in  also. 

L.  C.  Queal  said  : 

I  think  I  am  entitled  now  to  correct  this  putting  of  the 
case. 

Bishop  Foss: 

Are  you  misrepresented  ? 

L.  C.  Queal : 

I  am  misrepresented  in  this,  that  while  I  stated  that 
Dr.  Sherman  put  that  on  as  a  "  rider,"  with  a  view  to  de 
feating  the  bill,  that  immediately  after  thinking  so  I 
thought  it  might  be  the  occasion  of  securing  the  approval 
of  the  principle  in  the  laity  of  the  Church.  That  is  all  I 
stated.  All  the  rest  of  Dr.  Leonard's  statement  is  his  own 
inference — a  misconstruction  of  the  fact. 


410  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

A.  B.  Leonard  : 

I  understood  Dr.  Queal  as  I  stated.  I  have  not  had 
time  to  refer  to  the  speech  he  made.  I  leave  his  state 
ment  with  you,  and  you  have  the  privilege  of  consulting 
his  speech  as  it  is  printed  this  morning,  in  reference  to 
this  matter.  It  came  to  my  thought  very  distinctly  that 
the  idea  of  the  possibility  of  women  coming  in  was  then 
lodged  in  the  minds  that  were  both  in  favor  of  and  op 
posed  to  lay  delegation. 

Now,  then,  this  vote  that  was  taken,  in  accordance  with 
the  order  of  1868,  laid  the  foundation  stone  for  the  intro 
duction  of  women  into  this  body.  That  sent  the  question 
of  lay  delegation  down  to  be  voted  on  by  the  laity  of  the 
Church.  If  the  women  were  not  to  be  recognized  as  laity 
here,  why  allow  them  to  vote  on  the  question  of  the  laity 
at  all  ?  And,  having  allowed  them  to  vote  on  the  ques 
tion  of  the  laity,  settling  the  very  foundation  principle  it 
self,  with  what  consistency  can  we  disallow  them  a  place 
in  this  General  Conference,  when  by  their  votes  they 
opened  the  way  for  the  laymen  coming  into  this  General 
Conference  ?  Do  you  not  remember  that  we  had  a  vote 
previously,  and  the  men  only  voted,  and  that  the  lay  del 
egation  scheme  was  defeated,  and  the  Methodist,  that  was 
published  in  this  city,  being  the  organ  of  the  lay  delega- 
tionists,  said  that  "  votes  ought  to  be  weighed,  not 
counted"  ?  And  then  the  question  was  sent  back  to  be" 
voted  upon  by  both  the  men  and  the  women  ?  And  let 
the  laymen  of  this  General  Conference  remember  that  they 
are  in  this  body  to-day  by  reason  of  the  votes  of  the 
women  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church.  In  1880  we 
went  still  further.  We  went  into  the  work  of  construing 


PUBLISHERS    APPENDIX.  4!  1 

pronouns.  There  had  been  women  in  the  Quarterly  Con 
ferences  previously  to  that  date  ;  but  there  was  a  mist  in 
the  air  with  regard  to  their  legality  there.  The  General 
Conference  by  its  action  did  not  propose  to  admit  women 
to  the  Quarterly  Conferences.  It  simply  proposed  to 
clear  away  the  mist  and  recognize  their  legal  right  to  sit 
in  the  Quarterly  Conference.  Being  in  the  Quarterly 
Conference,  and  in  the  District  Conference,  they  have  the 
right  to  vote  on  every  question  that  comes  before  such 
bodies.  They  vote  to  license  ministers,  to  recommend 
ministers  to  Annual  Conferences,  to  recommend  local 
preachers  for  deacons'  and  elders'  orders.  They  vote  on 
sending  delegates  to  our  Lay  Electoral  Conferences,  and 
they  vote  in  elections  for  delegates  to  Lay  Electoral  Con 
ferences,  and  they  vote  in  elections  for  delegates  from 
Lay  Electoral  Conferences  to  this  General  Conference. 
And  there  are  men  on  this  floor  to-day  that  would  not  be 
in  this  at  all  if  they  had  not  received  the  support  of 
women  in  Lay  Electoral  Conferences.  Now,  brethren, 
let  it  be  remembered  that  the  votes  of  the  women  to  send 
delegates  to  the  Lay  Electoral  Conferences  were  never 
challenged  until  they  came  here  asking  for  seats.  They 
were  good  enough  to  elect  laymen  to  this  body,  but  not 
good  enough  to  take  seats  with  laymen  in  this  body. 
With  what  consistency  can  laymen  accept  seats  by  the 
votes  of  the  women  and  then  deprive  women  of  their  seats  ? 
I  am  surprised  at  some  of  the  "  subtle  insinuations"  of  the 
Episcopacy  concerning  constitutional  law.  Allow  me  to 
say  at  this  point  that,  having  introduced  into  the  Quar 
terly  Conference  these  women,  and  having  given  them  a 
right  to  vote  there,  and  in  the  District  Conferences,  and 


412  PUBLISHERS    APPENDIX. 

in  the  Lay  Electoral  Conferences,  in  all  honesty  we  must 
do  one  of  two  things,  if  we  would  be  consistent,  we  must 
go  back  and  take  up  that  old  foundation  of  lay  delegation 
that  we  laid  in  1 868,  or  we  must  go  forward  and  allow 
these  women  to  have  their  seats.  .  In  a  word,  we  must 
either  lay  again  the  "  foundation  of  repentance  from  dead 
work,  or  go  forward  to  perfection."  And  I  am  not  in 
favor  of  going  back. 

If  it  is  true  that  the  body  of  the  Constitution  is  outside 
of  the  Restrictive  Rules,  and  cannot  be  changed  except  in 
the  way  prescribed  for  altering  the  Restrictive  Rules,  then 
I  say  that  this  General  Conference  has  again  and  again 
been  both  lawless  and  revolutionary.  Every  paragraph 
of  the  chapter,  known  as  the  Constitution,  beginning 
with  §  63,  and  closing  with  §  69,  was  put  into  that 
Constitution  without  any  voice  from  an  Annual  Confer 
ence  of  this  foot-stool.  Not  one  single  one  of  them  was 
ever  submitted  to  an  Annual  Conference;  §  20,  1"  183, 
stood  for  many  years  in  the  Constitution  of  the  Church, 
but  was  transferred  bodily  from  that  Constitution  by  the 
General  Conference  to  the  position  it  now  occupies.  You 
come  and  tell  us  to-day  that  we  cannot  change  the  Con 
stitution  outside  of  the  Restrictive  Rules  without  going 
down  to  the  Annual  Conferences  ;  it  is  too  late  in  the  day 
to  say  that.  We  have  made  too  much  history  on  that 
point.  The  present  plan  of  lay  delegation  was  not  submit 
ted  to  the  Annual  Conferences.  Bishop  Simpson  definitely 
stated  when  he  reported  to  the  General  Conference  the 
result  of  the  vote  ordered  in  1868  that  the  question  simply 
of  the  introduction  of  the  laity  into  the  General  Confer 
ence  was  presented  to  be  voted  upon  by  the  laity  and  by 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  413 

the  Annual  Conference?,  but  the  "plan"  was  not  submit 
ted  to  either  to  be  voted  upon,  and  the  "  plan"  for  lay 
delegation  by  which  these  lay  brethren  occupy  their  seats 
here  this  morning  was  made  in  every  jot  and  tittle  by  the 
General  Conference  without  any  reference  to  the  Annual 
Conferences  at  all. 

I  want  to  know,  then,  by  what  propriety  we  come 
here  in  this  General  Conference  to  say  that  there  can  be 
no  change  of  Part  I.  of  the  Constitution  outside  of  the 
Restrictive  Rules.  The  General  Conference  cannot  alter 
our  articles  of  faith,  it  cannot  abolish  our  Episcopacy ;  it 
cannot  deprive  our  members  of  a  right  to  trial  and  appeal. 
These  come  under  the  Restrictive  Rules,  and  cannot  be 
touched  by  this  body  without  the  consent  of  the  Annual 
Conferences ;  but  all  else  has  been  from  beginning,  and 
is  now  in  the  hands  of  the  General  Conference.  Let  it  be 
remembered  that  this  General  Conference  is  a  unique 
body.  It  is  at  once  a  legislative  and  a  judicial  body ;  in 
the  former  capacity  it  makes  law ;  in  the  latter  capacity  it 
has  the  power  to  construe  law. 

It  is  at  once  a  Congress,  if  you  please,  to  enact  law, 
and  a  supreme  court  to  interpret  law.  Now,  then,  in  ad 
mitting  women  to  our  General  Conference,  we  are  simply 
construing  the  Constitution,  and  not  changing  the  Consti 
tution.  The  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States  gives 
decisions  on  the  construing  of  the  Constitution,  and  who 
ever  heard  of  a  decision  of  the  Supreme  Court  being  sent 
down  to  be  ratified  by  the  State  Legislatures  ?  The  Su 
preme  Court  of  the  United  States  construes  the  Consti 
tution,  without  any  reference  to  the  State  Legislatures,  and 
so  we  construe  law  without  any  reference  to  the  Annual 


414  PUBLISHERS    APPENDIX. 

Conferences.  If  we  touch  the  law  inside  of  the  Restrictive 
Rules,  we  must  go  down  to  the  Annual  Conferences. 
Outside  we  are  free  to  legislate  as  we  may. 

What  is  the  Constitution  for?  The  Constitution  is  de 
signed  simply  to  limit  the  powers  of  the  Legislature.  In 
my  own  State  of  Ohio,  for  illustration,  we  have  an  article 
in  our  Constitution  that  forbids  our  Legislature  to  license 
the  liquor  traffic,  but  our  legislators  give  a  license  under 
the  guise  of  taxing,  but  they  cannot  give  us  a  license  law 
in  form.  The  Constitution  prevents  it.  There  are  States 
that  have  Constitutions  that  have  no  word  to  say  about 
the  liquor  traffic  at  all,  while  they  may  either  tax,  license, 
or  prohibit. 

This  is  a  fact  that  is  well  settled,  that  the  Constitution 
is  a  limitation  of  legislative  power,  and  where  there  is  no 
such  limitation  there  is  no  restriction. 


ADDRESS  OF  REV.  DR.  ALFRED  WHEELER. 

MR.  PRESIDENT,  it  will  be  well  for  us,  so  far  as  we  have 
progressed  in  this  discussion,  to  see  how  near  and  how  far 
we  agree.  It  is  admitted  by  the  friends  of  the  report,  or 
by  the  committee,  that  this  is  a  question  of  law,  and  to  be 
decided  exclusively  upon  principles  of  law.  So  far  as 
those  who  are  opposed  to  the  report  have  spoken,  they 
conceive,  as  I  understand  it,  that  the  position  taken  by  the 
committee  is  taken  by  those  who  are  advocating  its  adop 
tion.  Then  we  are  agreed  that  it  is  not  a  matter  of  senti 
ment,  it  is  not  a  matter  of  chivalry.  There  is  no  place  for 
knighthood,  or  any  of  its  laws,  or  any  other  of  the  princi 
ples  that  dominated  the  contests  of  the  knights  of  old.  If 
it  were  a  matter  of  knighthood  there  is  not  a  man  on  this 
floor  that  would  deem  it  necessary  to  bring  a  lance  into 
this  body.  All  would  be  peace  and  quiet. 

There  are  none  that  would  hail  with  more  joy  and  glad 
ness  the  women  of  the  Church  to  a  seat  in  this  body  than 
those  of  us  who  now,  under  the  circumstances,  oppose  their 
coming  in. 

It  is  not  either  a  matter  of  progressive  legislation  re- 
garding  the  franchise  of  colored  men,  or  of  anybody  else  in 
the  country.  It  is  a  question  of  law,  Methodist  law,  and 
Methodist  law  alone. 

Now,  so  far  as  the  intention  is  concerned  of  those  who 
made  the  law,  I  do  not  see  how  those  who  have  kept  them- 


416  PUBLISHERS*   APPENDIX. 

selves  conversant  with  the  history  of  lay  delegation  can 
for  a  moment  claim  that  it  was  even  the  most  remote  in 
tention  of  those  who  introduced  lay  delegation  into  the 
General  Conference  to  bring  in  the  women,  and  for  us  to 
transfer  the  field  now  toward  women,  in  view  of  their  mag 
nificent  work  in  the  last  ten  or  fifteen  years,  back  to 
twenty  years,  is  to  commit  an  anachronism  that  would  be 
fatal  to  all  just  interpretation  of  law. 

I  myself  was  in  the  very  first  meeting  that  was  ever 
called  to  initiate  the  movement  that  at  last  brought  in  lay 
delegation.  I  voted  for  it ;  I  wrote  for  it ;  I  spoke  for  it 
in  the  General  Conference  and  in  the  Annual  Conferences. 
I  was  a  member  of  the  first  lay  committee,  or  Committee 
on  Lay  Delegation,  that  was  appointed  here  by  the  Gen 
eral  Conference  in  1868.  And  during  all  these  various 
processes  of  discussion,  so  far  as  I  know,  the  thought  was 
never  suggested  that  under  it  women  would  come  in  to 
represent  the  laity,  nor  was  it  ever  suggested  that  it  was 
desirable  that  they  should ;  so  that  the  intention  of  the 
law-maker  could  never  have  embraced  this  design — the 
design  of  bringing  women  into  the  General  Conference. 
I  leave  that. 

Now,  I  claim  that  the  General  Conference  has  no  legal 
authority  to  admit  them  here.  We  are  not  an  omnipotent 
body.  I  know  that  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United 
States,  in  that  contest  between  the  Northern  Church,  or 
the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church,  and  the  Church  South, 
decided  that  the  General  Conference  was  the  Methodist 
Episcopal  Church.  I  used  that  argument  myself  upon 
the  Conference  floor  in  1868,  that  the  General  Conference 
could,  without  any  other  process,  by  mere  legislation,  in- 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  417 

troduce  the  laity  into  this  body.  I  claimed  there  and 
then  that,  according  to  that  decision,  the  Methodist  Epis 
copal  Church  was  in  the  General  Conference.  The  Gen 
eral  Conference  refused  to  accept  that  indorsement  of  that  • 
Court,  or  that  proposition  concerning  the  prerogatives  of 
this  body.  And  through  all  the  processes  that  have  been 
ordered  concerning  the  introduction  of  lay  delegation 
that  interpretation  of  the  constitution  of  the  Church  has 
been  repudiated.  The  Church  herself  rejected  the  inter 
pretation  that  the  Supreme  Court  placed  upon  her  consti 
tution,  and  as  a  loyal  son  of  the  Church  I  accepted  her  in 
terpretation  of  her  own  constitution,  so  that  now  I  claim 
that  the  General  Conference  has  no  authority  whatever  to 
change  the  personnel  of  the  General  Conference  without 
the  vote  of  the  Annual  Conferences.  Before  it  can  be 
done  constitutionally,  you  must  obtain  the  consent  of  the 
brethren  of  the  Annual  Conferences,  and  I  am  in  favor  of 
that,  and  of  receiving  an  affirmative  vote  on  their  part. 
But  until  this  is  done  I  do  not  see  how  they  can  come  in 
only  as  we  trample  the  organic  law  of  our  Church  under 
our  feet.  And  to  do  this,  there  is  nothing  but  peril  ahead 
of  us. 

A  simple  body  may  disregard  law  with  comparative  im 
punity,  but  an  organic  body  that  is  complicated,  complex 
in  its  nature,  will  find  its  own  security  in  adhering  ear 
nestly,  strictly,  and  everlastingly,  to  the  law  that  that  body 
passes  for  the  government  of  its  own  conduct. 

Let  us  see,  now,  with  regard  to  this  Restrictive  Rule. 
As  I  have  said,  it  has  been  admitted  all  along  that  the 
action  of  the  Annual  Conferences  must  be  secured.  Here 
comes  in  the  decision  of  the  General  Conference  of  1872. 


418  PUBLISHERS     APPENDIX. 

I  do  not  need  to  recite  it.  But  let  us  bear  in  mind  two 
facts.  One  is,  that  this  General  Conference  is  a  legislative 
body,  and  that  it  is  also  a  judicial  body.  As  a  judicial 
body,  it  interprets  law  ;  as  a  legislative  body,  it  makes 
law.  The  General  Conference  of  1872  interpreted  law, 
and  the  General  Conference  may  reverse  itself  with  just 
as  much  propriety  as  a  court  can  reverse  itself.  And  if  it 
be  the  judgment  of  this  General  Conference  that  that  in 
terpretation  was  incorrect,  it  is  perfectly  competent  for 
this  Conference  to  say  so,  and  have  its  action  correspond 
with  its  own  decision. 

There  is  another  point.  The  case  that  was  before  the 
General  Conference  of  1876  was  a  specific  case.  It  was 
the  case  of  the  relation  that  local  preachers  sustain  to  the 
Church,  a  particular  case.  This  is  the  principle  of  all  de 
cisions  in  law,  that  when  a  particular  case  is  decided  in 
general  terms,  the  scope  and  comprehension  of  the  de 
cision  must  be  limited  to  the  particular  case  itself.  And 
if  a  court  in  its  decision  embraces  more  than  was  involved 
in  the  particular  case,  it  has  no  force  whatever.  And  as 
this  was  a  particular  case  submitted  to  the  General  Con 
ference,  and  the  decision  was  in  general  terms,  it  compre 
hends  simply  the  case  that  was  before  it,  and  cannot  be 
advanced  to  comprehend  more.  And  the  reason  of  this  is 
very  obvious ;  for  if  it  was  not  the  case,  then  cases  might 
be  brought  before  the  court  for  its  decision  that  had  never 
occurred. 

There  is  another  point  I  wish  to  notice.  The  General 
Conference  of  1880  did  not  see  the  effect  that  legislation 
would  have  by  admitting  women  to  certain  offices.  Cer 
tain  affirmative  legislation  is  also  negative  legislation. 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  419 

When  saloons  are  permitted  to  sell  in  quantities  of  one 
gallon,  it  forbids  to  sell  in  quantities  of  less  than  one 
gallon  ;  when  it  says  you  can  sell  in  quantities  of  one 
barrel,  it  forbids  them  to  sell  in  quantities  of  two.  When 
the  General  Conference  of  1880  decided  that  women 
should  be  eligible  in  the  Quarterly  Conferences  as  super 
intendents  of  Sunday-schools,  class-leaders,  and  as  stewards, 
by  that  very  affirmative  conclusion,  the  subject  was  passed 
upon  about  their  taking  any  other  position.  That,  I 
think,  must  be  regarded  as  sound,  and  a  just  interpreta 
tion  of  the  law. 

But  suppose  it  is  not;  the  General  Conference  of  1 880 
certainly  did  not  understand  the  matter  as  the  General 
Conference  of  1872  did.  For  if  it  had,  there  would  have 
been  no  necessity  for  legislation  at  all,  there  would  have 
been  no  need  for  putting  in  the  law  as  it  now  stands,  that 
the  pronoun  "  he,"  wherever  employed,  shall  not  be  con 
sidered  as  prohibiting  women  from  holding  the  offices  of 
Sunday-school  Superintendent,  Class  Leader,  and  Stew 
ard. 

Now,  for  this  reason,  and  for  the  further  reason  that  it 
is  a  matter  of  immense  importance  that  we  guard  against 
despotism,  I  oppose  changing  the  personnel  of  the  Gen 
eral  Conference  without  my  Annual  Conference  has  a  right 
to  vote  upon  it,  and  it  is  voted  upon.  Despotism  is  a 
suitable  term.  A  General  Conference  may  become  a 
despot,  and  just  as  soon  as  it  goes  outside  of  its  legiti 
mate  province,  then  it  usurps,  and  so  far  as  it  usurps,  it 
becomes  despotic,  and  is  a  despot ;  and  you  and  I,  so 
far  as  our  Annual  Conferences  are  concerned,  do  well  to 


420  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

regard  with  a  deep  jealousy  an  infringement  upon  our 
organic  rights.  The  only  safety  of  the  Church  is  the  equi 
poise  that  is  constituted  by  the  relation  the  Annual  Con 
ferences  sustain  to  the  General  Conference,  and  far  safer  is 
it  for  us  to  bring  these  women  of  the  Church,  elect,  honor 
able  women,  into  the  General  Conference  of  the  Church 
by  the  same  way  that  their  husbands  and  brothers  are 
here. 

There  is  another  thought  that  I  wish  to  suggest.  What 
arc  the  possibilities  with  regard  to  lay  delegation,  suppos 
ing  the  design  of  those  who  wish  to  bring  women  in  with 
out  further  action  is  successful  ?  You  make  lay  delega 
tion  a  farce  in  this  body.  The  presiding  elders  and  pastors 
of  the  Church  may  act  in  co-operation,  and  they  can  elect 
their  own  wives  as  delegates  to  this  General  Conference, 
and  thus  lay  delegation  comes  to  be  a  farce.  Some  of 
you  may  laugh  at  this  suggestion,  but  it  is  an  in  posse, 
and  it  may  easily  be  made  an  in  esse.  It  is  important  to 
us  that  the  laity  should  hold  the  place  they  have  by  the 
regulations  we  have,  and  they  should  be  changed  only  to 
make  them  more  perfect. 

No  body  is  safe  without  adherence  to  law.  We  may 
set  lightly  by  law ;  we  may  regard  it  as  a  thing  to  be  laid 
aside  at  the  command  of  excitement  or  passion,  but  the 
nation  that  does  that  is  a  doomed  nation,  and  the  Church 
that  does  that  has  its  history  already  written.  The  only 
safe  course  for  us  to  pursue  is  to  pursue  the  wise,  careful, 
judicious,  and  conservative — I  mean  every  word — and 
conservative  course  we  have  heretofore  pursued  through 
all  our  history.  When  we  boast  of  what  Methodism  has 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  421 

done,  or  what  she  is  going  to  do,  let  us  remember  it  is  be 
cause  of  her  firm  adherence  to  law. 

It  is  with  her  as  it  is  with  the  German  nation  and  the 
Anglo-Saxon  race — everywhere  our  glory  is  in  our  adhe 
rence  to  wise  laws,  and  if  we  pass  unwise  laws,  in  repealing 
them  in  the  same  wise. 


ADDRESS  OF  GENERAL  CLINTON  .B.  FISK. 

MR.  PRESIDENT  and  Brethren,  to  an  onlooker  of  this 
remarkable  scene,  this  great  debate  now  in  the  third  day  of 
its  progress  must  be  suggestive  of  some  of  the  marvellous 
plays,  woven  into  song,  which  have  made  the  hearts  of 
the  thronging  multitudes  who  have  crowded  this  place 
of  meeting  in  the  past  throb  alternately  with  emotions 
of  hope  and  fear  as  to  the  outcome  of  the  parties  involved 
in  plot  and  counterplot.  The  visitors  to  this  General 
Conference,  seated  in  their  boxes  and  in  the  family  circle, 
will  say  surely  these  honored  men  of  God  who  have  been 
called  as  Superintendents  of  the  affairs  of  our  great  con 
quering  Church,  these  chosen  ministers  of  reconciliation 
and  peace,  these  male  laymen  called  by  their  brethren  to 
their  high  places  in  this  General  Conference,  whose  names 
at  home  are  the  synonym  of  chivalrous  goodness — surely 
all  these  of  rank  and  talent  and  authority,  whose  able  and 
eloquent  words  have  been  ringing  through  the  arches  and 
dome  of  this  temple  of  music  on  the  wrong  side  of  the 
question,  are  but  simply  acting  the  parts  assigned  them. 
In  the  final  scene  they  will  join  hands  around  the  eligible 
women  elect,  who,  in  obedience  to  the  call  of  the  laity  in 
their  several  Conferences,  are  in  their  seats  with  us,  and 
say,  "Whom  God  hath  joined,  let  not  male  put  asunder." 
My  brothers,  let  us  briefly  restate  the  case.  Five  noble 
women  of  the  laymen  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  423 

have  been  chosen  as  delegates  to  this  General  Conference 
under  the  Constitution  and  by  the  forms  prescribed  by 
the  laws  of  the  Church.  As  they  enter,  or  attempt  to 
enter,  the  portals  of  this  great  assemblage  they  hear  a 
voice  from  the  platform,  in  words  'not  to  be  misunder 
stood,  "  Thou  shalt  not,"  and  voices  from  all  parts  of  the 
house  take  up  the  prohibitory  words,  and  supplement  the 
voices  of  the  Bishops,  "  Thou  shalt  not."  And  one 
would  think,  from  the  vehement  oratory  of  the  resisting 
delegates  of  this  General  Conference,  that  the  founda 
tions  of  the  Church  were  in  imminent  peril  by  the  pres 
ence  of  these  "  elect  ladies"  among  us. 

Let  us  turn  back  a  moment,  and  review  the  history  of 
the  rise,  progress,  and  triumph  of  the  cause  of  lay  repre 
sentation.  I  claim  to  know  a  little  something  about  it,  as 
I  was  on  the  skirmish  line  in  the  conflict,  and  in  all  its 
battles  fought  until  the  day  of  victory. 

In  1861,  to  the  male  members  of  the  Church,  was  sub 
mitted  the  question  of  lay  representation.  It  failed  of 
securing  a  majority  vote.  Had  it  carried,  there  would 
have  been  plausibility  in  the  argument  this  day  made 
against  the  eligibility  of  women  to  seats  in  this  General 
Conference.  The  evolution  of  the  succeeding  eight  years 
lifted  woman  to  a  higher  appreciation  of  her  position  in 
the  Methodist  Church,  and  her  rights  and  privileges  be 
came  the  theme  of  discussion  throughout  the  bounds  of 
the  Church.  Among  the  champions  for  woman  was  that 
magnificent  man,  that  grand  old  man,  Dr.  Daniel  D. 
Whedon,  who,  in  discussing  this  question,  said  : 

"  If  it  is  rights  they  talk  of,  every  competent  member  of  the  Church 
of  Christ,  of  either  sex  and  of  every  shade  of  complexion,  has  equal  origi- 


424  PUBLISHERS     APPENDIX. 

nal   rights.     Those  rights,  they  may   be   assured,   when    that    question 
comes  fairly  up,  will  be  firmly  asserted  and  maintained." 

And  in  answer  to  the  expected  fling,  "  But  you  are  a 

woman's  rights  man,"  he  replied  : 

« 

"  We  are  a  human  rights  man.  And  our  mother  was  a  human  being. 
And  our  wives,  sisters,  and  daughters  are  all  human  beings.  And 
that  these  human  beings  are  liable  as  any  other  human  beings  to  be  op 
pressed  by  the  stronger  sex,  and  as  truly  need  in  self-defence  a  check 
upon  oppression,  the  history  of  all  past  governments  and  legislation  does 
most  terribly  demonstrate.  What  is  best  in  the  State  is  not  indeed  with 
us  the  question  ;  but  never,  with  our  consent,  shall  the  Church  of  the 
living  God  disfranchise  her  who  gave  to  the  world  its  divine  Redeemer. 
When  that  disfranchisement  comes  to  the  debate,  may  the  God  of  eternal 
righteousness  give  us  strength  equal  to  our  will  to  cleave  it  to  the  ground  !" 

The  General  Conference  of  1868,  after  full  discussion, 
submitted  the  question  of  Lay  Representation  to  a  vote 
of  all  the  members  of  the  Church,  male  and  female,  thus 
recognizing  the  women  as  laymen,  as  belonging  to  the 
great  body  of  the  laity,  and  as  vitally  interested  in  the 
government  of  the  Church,  and  having  rights  under  that 
government.  During  the  debate  on  the  report  of  the 
Committee  on  the  plan  for  submitting  the  question  as 
in  1861,  to  the  male  members,  Dr.  Sherman  moved  to 
strike  out  the  word  "  male."  While  that  motion  was 
under  consideration,  Dr.  Slicer,  of  Baltimore,  said,  "  If  it 
were  the  last  moment  I  should  spend,  and  the  last  articu 
late  sound  I  should  utter,  I  should  speak  for  the  wives, 
mothers,  and  daughters  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal 
Church.  ...  I  am  for  women's  rights,  sir,  wherever 
cliurch privileges  are  concerned'' 

Dr.  Sherman's  motion  was  carried  by  a  vote  of  142  to 
70,  and  the  question  of  lay  representation  was  submitted 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  425 

to  all  the  members  of  the  Church  over  twenty-one  years 
of  age.  The  General  Conference  did  not  ask  women  to 
vote  on  a  proposition  that  only  male  members  of  the 
Church  should  be  represented  in  the  General  Conference, 
and  it  did  not  then  enter  the  thought  of  any  clear-headed 
man  that  women  were  to  be  deprived  of  their  rights  to  a 
seat  in  the  General  Conference.  There  were  a  few  noisy, 
disorderly  brethren  who  cried  out  from  their  seats,  "  No, 
no,"  but  they  were  silenced  by  the  presiding  Bishop  and 
the  indignation  of  the  right  thinking,  orderly  delegates. 

What  does  the  Rev.  Dr.  David  Sherman,  the  mover  of 
the  motion  to  strike  out  the  word  "  male,"  now  say  of  the 
prevailing  sentiment  on  that  day  of  great  debate?  I 
have  his  freshly  written  words  in  response  to  an  inquiry 
made  a  few  weeks  ago.  On  March  2 1st  he  made  this 
statement : 

"  Some  of  us  believed  that  women  were  laymen,  that  the  term  '  men* 
in  the  Discipline,  as  elsewhere,  often  designated  not  sex,  but  genus  ;  and 
that  those  who  constituted  a  main  part  of  many  of  our  churches  should 
have  a  voice  in  determining  under  what  government  they  would  live. 
We  believed  in  the  rightful  equality  6f  the  sexes  before  the  law,  and 
hence  that  women  should  have  the  same  right  as  men  to  vote  and  hold 
office.  The  Conference  of  1868  was  a  reform  body,  and  it  seemed  pos 
sible  to  take  these  views  on  a  stage  ;  hence  the  amendment  was  offered, 
and  carried  with  a  rush  and  heartiness  even  beyond  my  expectations. 
.  .  .  The  latter  interpretation  of  the  Conference  making  all  not  mem 
bers  of  Conferences  laymen,  fully  carried  out  these  views,  as  they  were 
understood  at  the  moment  by  the  majority  party.  Some,  to  be  sure, 
cried  out  against  it,  but  their  voices  were  not  heard  amid  the  roar  of 
victory.  Who  can  go  back  of  the  interpretation  of  the  supreme  court 
of  the  Church  ?" 

It  is  amazing  that  brethren  will  stand  here  to-day  and 
utterly  ignore  the  decision  of  our  Supreme  Court  in  defin- 


426  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

ing  who  are  laymen.  Could  the  utterances  of  any  Court 
be  more  definite  and  clear  than  those  of  the  General  Con 
ference  when  it  said,  *'  The  General  Conference  holds  that 
in  all  matters  connected  with  the  election  of  lay  delegates 
the  word  '  laymen'  must  be  understood  to  include  all  the 
members  of  the  Church  who  are  not  members  of  the  An 
nual  Conferences  "  ?  This  decision  must  include  women 
among  the  laity  of  the  Church.  I  know  it  is  said  that 
this  means  the  classification  of  local  preachers.  We  re 
spond  that  that  only  appears  from  the  debate.  The  Gen 
eral  Conference  was  settling  a  great  principle  in  which  the 
personal  rights  and  privileges  of  two  thirds  of  the  mem 
bership  of  our  Church  were  involved.  Surely,  our  Su 
preme  Court  would  have  made  a  strange  decision  had 
they,  in  defining  laymen,  excepted  women.  Let  us  see 
how  it  would  look  in  cold  type  had  they  said,  "  The  Gen 
eral  Conference  holds  that  in  all  matters  connected  with 
the  election  of  lay  delegates  the  word  laymen  must  be 
understood  to  include  all  the  members  of  the  Annual  Con 
ferences,  and  who  are  not  women."  We  would  have  be 
come  the  laughing-stock  of  Christendom  had  we  made 
such  an  utterance.  The  Church  universal  in  all  ages  has 
always  divided  its  membership  into  two  great  classes,  and 
two  only,  the  clergy  and  the  laymen,  using  the  terms  laity 
and  laymen  synonomously  and  interchangeably.  See 
Bingham's  " Antiquities,"  Blackstone's  "Commentaries," 
Schaff  s  "  History,"  and  kindred  authorities.  It  is  sheer 
trifling  for  sensible  males  to  talk  about  a  distinction  be 
tween  laymen  and  lay  women. 

Women  were  made  class-leaders,  stewards,  and  Sunday- 
school  superintendents,    and  employed   in  these   several 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  427 

capacities  long  before  the  specific  interpretations  of  the 
pronouns  were  made.  They  were  so  appointed  and  em 
ployed  in  Saint  Paul's  Church  in  this  city  during  the  pas 
torate  of  that  sainted  man,  John  M'Clintock,  in  1860,  and 
could  the  voice  of  that  great  leader  and  lover  of  the 
Church  reach  us  to  day  from  the  skies  it  would  be  in  pro 
test  against  the  views  presented  in  this  debate  by  the  sup 
porters  of  the  committee's  report  and  its  amendment. 

It  is  a  well-established  and  incontrovertible  principle  of 
law  that  any  elector  is  eligible  to  the  office  for  which  said 
elector  votes,  unless  there  be  a  specific  enactment  discrimi 
nating  against  the  elector.  Our  law  says  that  a  lay  dele 
gate  shall  be  twenty-five  years  of  age,  and  five  years  a 
member  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church.  It  does  not 
say  that  a  delegate  must  not  be  a  woman,  or  must  be  a 
man. 

Women  are  eligible  to  membership  in  this  General 
Conference.  Women  have  been  chosen  delegates  as  pro 
vided  by  law.  They  are  here  in  their  seats  ready  for  any 
duty  on  committees,  or  otherwise,  as  they  may  be  invited. 
We  cannot  turn  them  out  and  slam  the  door  on  their  exit. 
It  would  be  revolutionary  so  to  do  by  a  simple  vote  of 
this  body.  It  would  be  a  violation  of  the  guarantees  of 
personal  liberty,  a  holding  of  the  just  rights  of  the  laity 
of  the  Church.  We  cannot  exclude  them  from  member 
ship  in  the  General  Conference,  except  by  directing  the 
Annual  Conferences  to  vote  on  the  question  of  their  ex 
clusion.  Are  we  ready  to  send  that  question  in  that  form 
down  to  the  Annual  Conferences  for  their  action  ?  I  trust 
that  a  large  majority  of  this  General  Conference  will  say 
with  emphasis  we  are  not  ready  for  any  such  action. 


428 

The  women  of  our  Methodism  have  a  place  in  the  heart 
of  the  Church  from  which  they  cannot  be  dislodged.  They 
are  our  chief  working  members.  They  are  at  the  very  front 
of  every  great  movement  of  the  Church  at  home  or  abroad. 
In  the  spirit  of  rejoicing  consecration  our  matrons  and 
maids  uphold  the  banner  of  our  Lord  in  every  conflict 
with  the  enemy  of  virtue  and  righteousness.  Looking  down 
upon  us  from  these  galleries,  tier  upon  tier,  are  the  mag 
nificent  leaders  of  the  Woman's  Foreign  and  the  Woman's 
Home  Missionary  Societies.  Our  women  are  at  the  front 
of  the  battle  now  waging  against  the  liquor  traffic  in  our 
fair  land,  and  they  will  not  cease  their  warfare  until  this 
nation  shall  be  redeemed  from  the  curse  of  the  saloon. 
God  bless  all  these  women  of  our  great  conquering  Church 
of  the  Redeemer. 

Twenty  years  ago  Bishop  Hurst  accompanied  me  on  a 
leisurely  tour  of  continental  Europe.  In  the  old  city  of 
Nuremberg  we  wandered  among  the  old  churches  and 
market-places,  where  may  be  seen  the  marvellous  produc 
tions  of  that  evangel  of  art,  Albert  Diirer.  In  an  old 
schloss  in  that  city  may  be  found  the  diary  of  Albert 
Diirer,  almost  four  centuries  old.  In  it  you  may  read  as 
follows :  "  Master  Gebhart,  of  Antwerp,  has  a  daughter 
seventeen  years  old,  and  she  has  illuminated  the  head  of 
a  Saviour  for  which  I  gave  a  florin.  It  is  a  marvel  that  a 
woman  could  do  so  much."  Three  and  a  half  centuries 
later  Rosa  Bonheur  hangs  her  master-piece  in  the  chief 
places  of  the  galleries  of  the  world,  and  Harriet  Hosmer's 
studio  contributes  many  of  the  best  marbles  that  adorn 
the  parlors  of  Europe  and  America,  and  no  one  wonders 
that  a  woman  can  do  so  much.  From  that  day  when 


PUBLISHERS     APPENDIX.  429 

Martin  Luther,  the  protesting  monk,  and  Catherine  Von 
Bora,  the  ex-nun,  stood  together  at  the  altar  and  the  twain 
became  one,  woman  has  by  her  own  heroism,  by  her  faith 
in  her  sex  and  in  God,  who  made  her,  fought  a  good  fight 
against  the  organized  selfishness  of  those  who  would  with 
hold  from  her  any  right  or  privilege  to  which  she  is  en 
titled,  and  has  lifted  herself  from  slavery  and  barbarism  to 
a  place  by  the  side  of  man,  where  God  placed  her  in  para 
dise,  his  equal  in  tact  and  talent,  moving  upon  the  world 
with  her  unseen  influences,  and  making  our  Christian  civ 
ilization  what  it  is  to-day.  Let  not  our  Methodism  in  this 
her  chiefest  council  say  or  do  ought  that  shall  lead  the 
world  to  conclude  that  we  are  retreating  from  our  advanced 
position  of  justice  to  the  laity  of  the  Church.  Let  us 
rather  strengthen  our  guarantee  of  loving  protection  of 
every  right  and  privilege  of  every  member  of  our  Church, 
without  distinction  of  race,  color,  or  sex.  Amen  and 
Amen. 


ADDRESS  OF  JUDGE  Z.  P.  TAYLOR. 

MR.  PRESIDENT  and  Gentlemen,  when  elected  a  dele 
gate  I  had  no  opinion  on  the  constitutional  question  here 
involved.  But  I  had  then,  and  I  have  now,  a  sympathy 
for  the  women,  and  a  profound  admiration  of  their  work. 
No  man  on  this  floor  stands  more  ready  and  more  willing 
to  assist  them  by  all  lawful  and  constitutional  means  to 
every  right  and  and  to  every  privilege  enjoyed  by  men. 

But,  sir,  notwithstanding  this  admiration  and  sympa 
thy,  I  cannot  lose  sight  of  the  vital  question  before  the 
General  Conference  now  and  here. 

That  question  is  this :  Under  the  Constitution  and 
Restrictive  Rules  of  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church  are 
women  eligible  as  lay  delegates  in  this  General  Con 
ference  ?  If  they  are,  then  this  substitute  offered  by  Dr. 
Moore  does  them  an  injustice,  because  it  puts  a  cloud  up 
on  their  right  and  title  to  seats  upon  this  floor.  If  they 
are  not,  then  this  body  would  be  in  part  an  unconstitu 
tional  body  if  they  are  admitted. 

It  follows  that  whoever  supports  this  substitute  either 
wrongs  the  elect  ladies  or  violates  the  Constitution.  If 
they  are  constitutionally  a  part  of  this  body,  seat  them  ; 
if  they  are  not,  vote  down  this  substitute,  and  adopt  the 
report  of  the  committee,  with  the  amendment  of  Dr. 
Neely,  and  then  let  them  in  four  years  hence  in  the  con 
stitutional  way. 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  431 

After  the  most  careful  study  of  the  vital  question  in 
the  light  of  history,  ecclesiastical,  common,  and  constitu 
tional  law,  it  is  my  solemn  and  deliberate  judgment  that 
women  are  not  eligible  as  lay  delegates  in  this  body. 

Facts,  records,  and  testimonials  conclusively  prove  that 
in  1868,  when  the  General  Conference  submitted  the  mat 
ter  of  lay  delegation  to  the  entire  membership  of  the 
Church,  the  idea  of  women  being  eligible  was  not  the  in 
tent.  The  intent  was  to  bring  into  the  General  Confer 
ence  a  large  number  of  men  of  business  experience,  who 
could  render  service  by  their  knowledge  and  experience 
touching  the  temporal  affairs  of  the  Church.  When  the 
principle  of  admitting  lay  delegates  was  voted  upon  by 
the  laity,  this  idea,  and  no  other,  was  intended.  When 
the  Annual  Conferences  voted  for  the  principle  and  the 
plan,  this  and  this  only  was  their  intent. 

When  the  General  Conference,  by  the  constitutional 
majority,  acted  in  favor  of  admitting  the  lay  delegates 
provisionally  elected,  this  idea,  and  none  other,  actuated 
them.  It  was  not  the  intent  then  to  admit  women,  but 
to  admit  men  only,  and  the  intent  must  govern  in  con 
struing  a  Constitution. 

Dr.  Fisk  said  Judge  Cooley  is  a  high  authority  on 
constitutional  law.  I  admit  it,  and  am  happy  to  say  that 
I  was  a  student  of  his  over  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago, 
and  ever  since  then  have  studied  and  practised  constitu 
tional  law,  and  I  am  not  here  to  stultify  my  judgment  by 
allowing  sentiment  and  impulse  to  influence  my  decision. 

Those  opposing  the  report  of  the  committee,  with  few 
exceptions,  admit  that  it  was  not  the  intent  and  purpose, 
when  the  Constitution  and  Restrictive  Rules  were 


432  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

amended,  to  admit  women  as  lay  delegates.  They  claim, 
however,  that  times  have  changed,  and  now  propose  to 
force  a  construction  upon  the  language  not  intended  by 
the  laity,  the  Annual  Conferences,  or  the  General  Con 
ference  at  the  time  of  the  amendment.  Can  this  be  done 
without  an  utter  violation  of  law  ?  I  answer,  No. 

In  the  able  address  read  by  Bishop  Merrill,  containing 
the  views  of  the  Board  of  Bishops,  he  says : 

"  For  the  first  time  in  our  history  several  '  elect  ladies  '  appear,  regularly 
certified  from  Electoral  Conferences,  as  lay  delegates  to  this  body.  In 
taking  the  action  which  necessitates  the  consideration  of  the  question  of 
their  eligibility,  the  Electoral  Conferences  did  not  consult  the  Bishops  as 
to  the  law  in  the  case,  nor  do  we  understand  it  to  be  our  duty  to  define 
the  law  for  these  Conferences  ;  neither  does  it  appear  that  any  one  is 
authorized  to  decide  questions  of  law  in  them.  The  Electoral  Confer 
ences  simply  assumed  the  lawfulness  of  this  action,  being  guided,  as  we 
are  informed,  by  a  declarative  resolution  of  the  General  Conference  of 
1872,  defining  the  scope  of  the  word  '  laymen,'  in  answer  to  a  question 
touching  the  classification  and  rights  of  ordained  local  and  located  minis 
ters.  Of  course,  the  language  of  that  resolution  is  carried  beyond  its 
original  design  when  applied  to  a  subject  not  before  the  body  when  it  was 
adopted,  and  not  necessarily  involved  in  the  language  itself.  This  also 
should  be  understood,  that  no  definition  of  the  word  '  laymen'  settles 
the  question  of  eligibility  as  to  any  class  of  persons,  for  many  are  classed 
as  laymen  for  the  purposes  of  lay  representation,  and  have  to  do  with  it 
officially  as  laymen,  who  are  themselves  not  eligible  as  delegates.  Even 
laymen  who  are  confessedly  ineligible,  who  are  not  old  enough  to  be  del 
egates,  or  have  not  been  members  long  enough,  may  be  stewards,  class- 
leaders,  trustees,  local  preachers  and  exhorters,  and,  as  such,  be  mem 
bers  of  the  Quarterly  Conference,  and  vote  for  delegates  to  the  Electoral 
Conference  without  themselves  being  eligible. 

"  The  constitutional  qualifications  for  eligibility  cannot  be  modified  by  a 
resolution  of  the  General  Conference,  however  sweeping,  nor  can  the 
original  meaning  of  the  language  be  enlarged.  If  women  were  included 
in  the  original  constitutional  provision  for  lay  delegates,  they  are  here  by 
constitutional  right.  If  they  were  not  so  included,  it  is  beyond  the  pow- 


PUBLISHERS    APPENDIX.  433 

er  of  this  body  to  give  them  membership  lawfully,  except  by  the  formal 
amendment  of  the  Constitution,  which  cannot  be  effected  without  the 
consent  of  the  Annual  Conferences.  In  extending  to  women  the  highest 
spiritual  privileges,  in  recognizing  their  gifts,  and  in  providing  for  them 
spheres  of  Christian  activity,  as  well  as  in  advancing  them  to  positions  of 
official  responsibility,  ours  has  been  a  leader  of  the  Churches,  and  grate 
fully  do  we  acknowledge  the  good  results  shown  in  their  enlarged  use 
fulness,  and  in  the  wonderful  developments  of  their  power  to  work  for 
God,  which  we  take  as  evidences  of  the  divine  approval  of  the  high 
ground  taken.  In  all  reformatory  and  benevolent  enterprises,  especially 
in  the  Temperance,  Missionary,  and  Sunday-school  departments  of 
Church-work,  their  success  is  marvellous,  and  challenges  our  highest  ad 
miration.  Happily  no  question  of  competency  or  worthiness  is  involved 
in  the  question  of  their  eligibility  as  delegates.  Hitherto  the  assumption 
underlying  the  legislation  of  the  Church  has  been  that  they  were  ineligi 
ble  to  official  positions,  except  by  special  provision  of  law.  In  harmony 
with  this  assumption,  they  have  been  made  eligible,  by  special  enactment, 
to  the  offices  of  steward,  class-leader,  and  Sunday-school  superintendent, 
and  naturally  the  question  arises  as  to  whether  the  necessity  for  special 
legislation,  in  order  to  their  eligibility  to  those  specified  offices,  does  not 
indicate  similar  necessity  for  special  provision  in  order  to  their  eligibility 
as  delegates,  and  if  so  it  is  further  to  be  considered  that  the  offices  of 
steward,  class-leader,  and  Sunday-school  superintendent  may  be  created 
and  filled  by  simple  enactments  of  the  General  Conference  itself  ;  but  to 
enter  the  General  Conference,  and  form  part  of  the  law-making  body  of 
the  Church,  requires  special  provision  in  the  Constitution,  and,  therefore, 
such  provision  as  the  General  Conference  alone  cannot  make." 

Now,  sir,  this  language  moves  forward  with  a  grasp  of 
logic  akin  to  that  used  by  Chief  Justice  Marshall,  or  that 
eminent  jurist,  Cooley,  from  whom  I  beg  leave  to  quote. 
Cooley,  in  his  great  work  on  "  Constitutional  Limita 
tions,"  says  : 

"A  Constitution  is  not  made  to  mean  one  thing  at  one  time,  and 
another  at  some  subsequent  time,  when  the  circumstances  may  have 
changed  as  perhaps  to  make  a  different  rule  in  the  case  seem  desirable. 
A  principal  share  of  the  benefit  expected  from  written  Constitutions 


434  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

would  be  lost,  if  the  rules  they  establish  were  so  flexible  as  to  bend  to 
circumstances,  or  be  modified  by  public  opinion. 

"  The  meaning  of  the  Constitution  is  fixed  when  it  is  adopted,  and  is 
not  different  at  any  subsequent  time." 

This  same  great  author  says  : 

"  Intent  governs.  The  object  of  construction  applied  to  a  written  con- 
stitution  is  to  give  effect  to  the  intent  of  the  people  in  adopting  it.  In 
the  case  of  written  laws  it  is  the  intent  of  the  lawgiver  that  is  to  be 
enforced. 

"  But  it  must  not  be  forgotten  in  construing  our  constitutions  that  in 
many  particulars  they  are  but  the  legitimate  successors  of  the  great 
charters  of  English  liberty  whose  provisions  declaratory  of  the  rights  of 
the  subject  have  acquired  a  well  understood  meaning  which  the  people 
must  be  supposed  to  have  had  in  view  in  adopting  them.  We  cannot 
understand  these  unless  we  understand  their  history. 

"It  is  also  a  very  reasonable  rule  that  a  State  Constitution  shall  be 
understood    and   construed   in   the   light,  and  by  the  assistance  of   the 
common  law,  and  with  the  fact  in  view  that  its  rules  are  still  in  force. 
*         *         *         *         ******** 

"  It  is  a  maxim  with  the  Courts  that  statutes  in  derogation  of  the 
common  law  shall  be  construed  strictly." 

Here,  sir,  we  have  the  language  of  Judge  Cooley  him 
self.  It  is  as  clear  as  the  noonday's  sun,  and  he  utterly 
repudiates  the  pernicious  doctrine  that  the  Constitution 
can  grow  and  develop  so  as  to  mean  one  thing  when  it  is 
adopted,  and  something  else  at  another  time.  You  can 
nc:ver  inject  anything  into  a  Constitution  by  construction 
which  was  not  in  it  when  adopted.  And  you  are  bound, 
according  to  all  rules  of  construction,  to  give  it  the  con 
struction  which  was  intended  when  adopted.  No  man  of 
common  honesty  and  common  sense  dares  to  assert  on 
this  floor  that  it  was  the  intent  when  the  Constitution 
was  amended  to  admit  women  as  lay  delegates.  It 


PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX.  435 

follows  inevitably  that  they  are  not  constitutionally  eli 
gible,  and  to  admit  them  is  to  violate  the  Constitution  of 
the  Church,  which,  as  a  Court,  we  are  in  honor  bound  not 
to  do. 

It  has  been  asserted  with  gravity  that  the  right  to  vote 
for  a  person  for  office  carries  with  it  the  right  to  be  voted 
.for  unless  prohibited  by  positive  enactment.  This  propo 
sition  is  not  true,  and  never  has  been.  We  have  seen, 
when  the  Constitution  and  Restrictive  Rules  were 
amended,  the  intent  was  to  admit  men  only  as  lay  dele 
gates.  No  General  Conference  can,  by  resolution  or  deci 
sion,  change  the  Constitution  and  Restrictive  Rules.  Grant, 
if  you  please,  that  the  General  Conference,  by  its  action 
in  1880,  had  power  to  make  women  eligible  in  the  Quar 
terly  Conference  as  stewards  and  class-leaders,  this  could 
not  qualify  her  to  become  a  lay  delegate  in  the  law-mak 
ing  body  of  the  Church.  The  qualifications  of  lay  dele 
gates  to  this  body  must  inhere  in  the  Constitution  and 
Restrictive  Rules,  according  to  their  intent  and  meaning 
when  adopted.  It  is  fundamental  law  that  where  general 
disabilities  exist,  not  simply  by  statute,  but  by  common 
law,  the  removal  of  lesser  disabilities  does  not  carry  with 
it  the  removal  of  the  greater  ones. 

Legislation  qualifying  women  to  vote  in  Wyoming  and 
elsewhere  had  to  be  coupled  also  with  positive  enactments 
qualifying  her  to  be  voted  for,  otherwise  she  would  have 
been  ineligible  to  office.  This  is  so,  and  I  defy  any  law 
yer  to  show  the  contrary. 

§  3,  Article  I,  Constitution  of  the  United  States,  reads : 

"  The  Senate  of  the  United  States  shall  be  composed  of  two  Senators 
from  each  State,  chosen  by  the  Legislature  thereof  for  six  years.  No  per- 


436  PUBLISHERS'  APPENDIX. 

son  shall  be  a  Senator  who  shall  not  have  attained  to  the  age  of  thirty 
years,  and  been  nine  years  a  citizen  of  the  United  States,  and  who  shall 
not,  when  elected,  be  an  inhabitant  of  the  State  for  which  he  shall  be 
chosen." 

These  and  no  other  qualifications  are  worded  or  found 
in  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States  touching  the 
qualification  of  Senators.  Is  there  a  layman  on  this  floor 
who  will  dare  assert  that  under  the  Constitution  of  the 
United  States  women  are  eligible  as  Representatives  or 
Senators  ?  Words  of  common  gender  are  exclusively  used 
as  applied  to  the  qualification  of  Senators.  The  words 
persons  and  citizens  include  women  the  same  as  they  in 
clude  men.  Nevertheless,  in  the  light  of  the  past,  I  am 
bold  to  assert,  that  any  man  who  would  dare  stand  in  the 
Senate  of  the  United  States,  and  contend  that  women 
are  eligible  to  the  office  of  United  States  Senators,  would 
be  regarded  by  the  civilized  world  as  a  person  of  gush  and 
void  of  judgment. 

Article  14,  United  States  Constitution,  §i : 

"  All  persons  born  or  naturalized  in  the  United  States  and  subject  to 
the  jurisdiction  thereof,  are  citizens  of  the  United  States,  wherein  they 
reside.  No  State  shall  make  or  enforce  any  law  which  shall  abridge  the 
Privileges  or  immunities  of  citizens  of  the  United  States  ;  nor  shall  any 
State  deprive  any  person  of  life,  liberty,  or  property  without  due  proc 
ess  of  law,  nor  deny  to  any  person  within  its  jurisdiction  the  equal  pro 
tection  of  the  laws. * 

(Tax  case  and  what  was  decided.)  (Mrs.  Minor  vs. 
Judges  of  Election.  53  Mo.  68.) 

The  first  case  indicates  that  the  word  citizen  when  af 
fecting  property  rights  includes  corporations. 

The  second,  that  the  word  person,  when   it  relates  to 


PUBLISHERS*   APPENDIX.  437 

the  woman  claiming  the  right  to  vote,  does  not  confer 
upon  her  that  right. 

The  language  is :  No  State  shall  make  or  enforce  any 
law  which  shall  abridge  the  privileges  or  immunities  of  any 
citizen  of  the  United  States.  Nevertheless,  a  Republican 
Circuit  Judge  held  this  language  did  not  entitle  Mrs. 
Minor  to  vote.  A  democratic  Supreme  Court  of  Missouri 
held  the  same,  and  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United 
States,  in  an  able  opinion  written  by  men  known  as  the 
friends  of  women,  conclusively  demonstrated  that  these 
constitutional  guarantees  did  not  confer  upon  woman  the 
right  to  vote.  Why?  Because,  from  time  immemorial, 
this  right  had  not  obtained  in  favor  of  woman,  and  these 
words  of  common  gender  should  not  be  so  construed  as 
to  confer  this  right,  since  it  was  not  intended  when 
made  to  affect  their  status  in  this  regard. 


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